I Will Always Reach to You

Our marriage was small, only close family and friends attended and was a secret affair because of the absurd anti-werewolf laws that the Ministry had passed. We wanted Harry to be there but he was still at his aunt’s because he hadn’t turned seventeen yet. It was still magical because finally Remus had accepted that we belonged together. The wedding was sudden but we had wasted enough time and we knew what was in each other’s heart.

Besides, when people were in the middle of a war each day could be the last.

I didn’t wear white that just was not me. Instead my dress was a tan yellow that looked almost light green in some angles. Strapless, it was a tight fit that showed off curves I knew people had never seen on me before spreading out and pooling about mid-tight where a subtle ribbon was tied. I had chosen it because it showed off my new light brown hair with highlights of blond perfectly. It was a new look I was proud of because it was inspired by my soon to be husband. It hadn’t been a conscious doing but somehow this new me worked.

I felt amazing but I didn’t feel beautiful until I walked down the aisle towards Remus and saw his face break out into a full smile that has breathtaking. As was to be expected I caught my foot on my long dress but I was close enough that Remus reflexively caught me and brought me close to his side.

“Damn it! And I practiced not tripping too!” I blurted out loud and everyone laughed.

“If you hadn’t tripped it wouldn’t have been you and I would have been marrying an imposter,” Remus joked—yes joked!—as I jabbed his side with my elbow.

Remus only smirked at me and turned to the priest, “You may go on.”

The ceremony was short but not fast enough for me before I was officially Nymphadora Lupin. When we were told we could kiss Remus tenderly embraced me, pouring his love for me into a wordless declaration.

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I looked out the window for the millionth time that morning. I was standing in the middle of the kitchen in the house that Remus and I had bought after our marriage. It was small but cozy and most importantly it was our home. Remus had wanted it because it was situated in the middle of a forest far from civilization where there would be no chance of people wondering across him during his monthly changes. Even with the Wolfsbane potion he didn’t want to take chances, he flat out refused when I offered that he just stay in the house tonight during his change since it was so cold outside. I was a little mad that he refused to share this part of himself with me but would work on it with him.

I peeked at the window again while I made the dishes wash themselves and smiled brightly when I saw Remus walking down the path. It was always very hard for him the morning after but I had news that was sure to improve his day.

“Hello sweetheart,” I called out happily when I heard the door open.

“Morning,” he replied wearily, sitting down at the table. I leaned down and kissed his lips with a smile and place a steaming cup of coffee in front of him.

“How was your night? You weren’t too cold?” I asked in concern as I sat down beside him.

“Everything went fine,” Remus answered taking a sip of his drink. “Was your night alright?”

“I was cold,” I grinned deviously at him and let my foot caress his leg invitingly.

“Give me a minute you insatiable woman,” he teased with a smile.

I frowned when I saw that he had inflected a few more scares to himself tonight and I reached over and traced the one on his chin, “You have to stop doing that to yourself.”

“Tonks.”

“I mean it Remus! I hate seeing them especially because you do that to yourself for no reason.”

“I have a lot of my mind.”

“I don’t care. Stop hurting yourself.” He nodded and I let the matter drop. “I have some news for you.”

“Does the Order need me to go in today?” Remus asked distractedly as his flipped through the Daily Prophet.

“No.”

“Is it Harry?” he glanced up with dread. “Has something happened to him and his friends?”

“No, still no sign of them.”

“Oh…what is it then?” Remus asked turning his attention back to the news.

“I’m pregnant,” I declared with a smile and watched as the paper slipped from my husband’s hand. I had had my suspicions on my condition for a while now but had found out for sure yesterday. I was actually about two months along already and I had been ecstatic to hear the news. I placed my hand on my stomach lovingly and waiting for an exclamation of joy from Remus. “Did you hear me? We are going to have a baby!”

“No,” came his broken denial. His gazed looked wild and unfocused when he looked at me.

“Remus, why are you acting like this?” I said feeling the sting of tears in the back of my throat. “This is wonderful news.”

“It isn’t Tonks! Don’t you see? That child could be a werewolf!”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does!” I tried to grab his arms but he moved away from me.

“You’re a werewolf and I don’t care.”

“My god I was a fool to marry you,” Remus said out loud. Running a hand through his hair and looking lost.

“Remus—.”

“I was weak and I shouldn’t have started this and now it is too late.” My heart fell at his words and I felt like he had literally cursed me. He had not changed.

“Remus I love you but you can’t look past the bad to see the good in us,” I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I want you to leave.”

He didn’t protest just left. Not one word…no fighting for us…nothing.

It was supposed to have been the happiest day but instead it had turned into a nightmare.

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I was going into labor and I was alone.

I cursed Remus and his damn stubbornness as a wave of pain from the contraction hit me. My mother fused over me as I laid in my bed at my mother’s home. I couldn’t go to the hospital on the off chance that my child happened to have inherited werewolf genes because the anti-werewolf laws had only gotten worse in the last few months.

“You are doing fantastic Nymphadora,” my mother said encouragingly.

“That isn’t my name,” I made my hair briefly turn red to express my anger but the pain of the next contraction made me focus all my energy on the child wanting to get out of me.

“That’s the spirit dear,” my mother grinned as I flopped back against the pillows as the pain left. Childbirth hurt! And it was even worse that I didn’t have the one person I wanted in the world here to help me.

“I want Remus!” I yelled in a moment of weakness.

“I am here Tonks,” came a male voice I loved. Remus had the nerve to stroll in after months away from me!

“Get out!” I screamed angrily pointing at the door.

“Tonks please you have to listen to me,” Remus pleaded.

“I said out! Mother, where is my wand?” I inquired while still staring daggers at him. In just a moment I would conjure some real ones to fling at him but for that I needed my wand. “My wand!”

“I think I will leave the two of you,” with that my mother fled the room as Remus walked to my side.

Well, since I didn’t have my wand I would make do with what I had, fists. I swung for Remus’ nose but clumsy me missed by a mile and I found myself falling off the bed. Only Remus’ ever present arms kept me from kissing the floor.

Once back in bed I lifted my nose in the air with as much dignity as I could master and said, “Take your hands off me.”

“Will you listen to me Tonks?” Remus asked with hope in his voice.

“No—” the rest of my sentence was a sharp gasp as a wave of agony hit me. When it was over I found myself clutching Remus’ hand and him supporting me. “Fine you have a minute.”

“I was afraid,” he said simply. “I love you more that life itself and because of all this anti-werewolf laws I had made you an outcast—.”

“I didn’t care!” I cut in. I feel like I had said those three little words a million time to him.

“—but I did. I thought that maybe eventually you would get sick of being discriminated against because of your connection to me I couldn’t take it. Then when you told me you were pregnant I thought that there was one more person that I loved that would be hurt by me.” Remus took a deep breath and stroked my cheek. “I have been miserable these last months and a fool for letting my fear keep us apart. You are so much stronger than I give you credit for and I think that at last I am ready to be the man you need me to be.”

Through a blurred vision I reached to him, “I only want you Remus.”

The kiss we shared was like coming home, I was meant to take his breath into my body and he was meant for mine. We shared something soul deep that could never be severed even by our own foolish actions.

Together we welcomed our son Teddy Remus Lupin into the world an hour later. I cried in bliss when my mother put the tiny bundle into my arms and for the first time I experienced the joys of motherhood.

“Remus look at our son,” I whispered in wonder looking into my husband’s scared face.

“Is he…is he…?” he could not finish his secret fear but he had nothing to worry about. In the next instant our son’s hair changed from black to ginger.

“I don’t think so my love,” I told him as I handed our son over to his father. Contentment and love shown on Remus’ face as he watched his son who looked so tiny in the powerful arms of his father.

Love rose through me in that moment and I knew that the image of them two together would remain with me to my dying day.