Of Princes and Paupers

.::The Host Club Is Now Closed::.

After cleaning up the fragments of vase from the floor I pulled a chair in front of the window, anxious to be as far away from them as possible.

Speaking of them, the Host Club had closed early due to today's err. . .antics.

And thus now they were huddled in a corner of the room, discussing my current predicament.

I have no doubt that they were quite eager to give me my punishment -_-

However, rather than focusing on that, I was replaying the incident over and over again in my mind and hoping that this was all simply some bazaar nightmare.

If it's not, I'm pretty sure this will be placed in my memories under the 'traumatizing experience' section.

"Minamoto Mamimi. . ." Tamaki proclaimed, perched upon his luxurious red chair like he was a King on his throne.

"We have come to a decision. . ." Tamaki trailed of ominously.

"You have been found guilty as charged, and sentenced to five years in prison!"

Then the Hitachiin twins, dressed in bailiff uniforms, dragged me out of the room.

Harsh much? D:

Okay, okay. . .

So that's not what really happened, but it was pretty convincing, wasn't it?

"Starting tomorrow you're. . .the Host Club's maid~!" Tamaki announced with a smirk.

The rest of the club looked quite smug, particularly the twins and Kyouya.

Honey was smiling giddily, Haruhi was shooting me sympathetic glances, and Mori was. . .just Mori.

Ugh. I'd rather take the prison sentence. . .

"Isn't there any other way? I mean the vase couldn't be that expensive, right?" I pleaded.

I'd really rather not spend my spare time here of all places, especially when it could be spent helping out Obaa-chan and Ojii-san. . .

"¥7,000,000. . ." said Kyouya coolly.

"What?" I asked.

"The vase you broke cost ¥7,000,000, it was supposed to be a replacement for the ¥8,000,000 vase that Haruhi broke. Although it wasn't as valuable as the original, it is still quite expensive, and I highly doubt a commoner like yourself could afford to pay for it." Kyouya elaborated cooly with a swift adjustment of his glasses.

Anime tears trailed down my cheeks as I sank to my knees.

"Kami-sama, what have I done to deserve this?" I mumbled.

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"And how was your day, dear?"

". . .Horrible." I muttered, shoveling Ramen in my mouth with the help of my trusty chopsticks.

"Hm? I'm afraid I couldn't quite catch that. . ." Obaa-san questioned, her tone laced with suspicion.

Swallowing some of the Ramen, I replied, "Mit mas mfrate."

"Mamimi, don't speak with your mouth open!" ordered Obaa-chan as she smacked the back of my head.

Swallowing the rest of the Ramen, I cried "Itai!"

"Gomenasai, Obaa-chan!" I apologized with a pout.

"It's fine my precious granddaughter~" Obaa-chan said as she patted my head.

"Besides it really can't be helped that you take after your grandfather when it comes to table manners. . ." Obaa-chan said nonchalantly, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

Across the table, Ojii-san grew an anime vein.

"So what were you attempting to say earlier, dear?" Obaa-chan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I said that my day was great!" I answered, totally lying through my teeth.

"That's nice to hear, dear. Honestly, I was a bit worried about you, since today was your first day at that fancy school and all. . ." Obaa-chan said sincerely.

"Aya and Anzu's too. . ." she added with a smile glancing at my little sisters who were lost in conversation.

"But you are my grandchildren after all, so there's no doubt that you're strong and can handle anything those rich kids throw at you. . ." Obaa-chan trailed off, in a cocky tone.

Yes, as you might have noticed, my grandmother is a bit full of herself. I suppose that's why her parents named her Leiko, though. XD

"Grr! Look here you old woman. . .!" Ojii-san called, as he stood up.

"They're my grandchildren too! And I do not have bad table manners, the only reason you'd think so is because you're a bitter old prude."

Ojii-san rambled, pointing a finger at Obaa-chan.

"You're calling me old? Why, you hypocritcal bastard. . .!" began Obaa-san, standing up as well.

"Blah, Blah, Blah, Bla-ha, Blah. . ."

Yeah, I pretty much tuned them out as this was a regular occurrence in my house.

As you may have noticed, we skipped from the Host Club to dinner time.

So I'll give you a summary of what happened in between.

The host club finally allowed me to leave after instructing me to report to the Third Music Room everyday after class from now on. Also, Hikaru and Kaoru are having their mother(who is apparently a famous fashion designer) design a -shudder- maid uniform for me.

All in all, I'm not really looking forward to tomorrow. . .

Splat!

Ew, what the freak?

Something small and slimy had just landed on my glasses.

As it slid down the translucent lenses, I noticed that the foreign object was a small, crumpled up piece of paer.

"Yatta~!" chorused two familiar voices.

I glanced over to see my twin sisters high fiving merrily.

Looking closer, I noticed Anzu to have a small straw.

This could only mean one thing. . .

War.

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"I'm really disappointed in you girls! Having a spit-ball fight during dinner is completely inappropriate!" Obaa-chan scolded with her hands on her hips.

"We're sorry, Obaa-chan~" my sisters and I chorused, heads hung in shame.

"You'd better be, and I expect you to have better behavior today!" Obaa-chan ordered strictly.

"You'd best be on your way to school now, girls." Ojii-san interrupted with a cheesy grin.

"Okay, Ojii-san!" The twins chorused, smiling cheekily.

They then proceeded to run off, eager to escape Obaa-chan's lectures.

"Hey, I wasn't through with you yet. . .!" Obaa-chan shrieked.

"Ano, Ittekimasu~" I called, walking off in the same direction my sisters had gone.

"Itterasshai~" Ojii-san replied, waving at my retreating figure.

"Hmph." Obaa-san said stubbornly, crossing her arms over her chest.

Compared to yesterday's dreary weather, today was a drastically needed change.

The sun was shining high in the clear blue sky, and the various Sakura trees around Ouran were in full bloom.

It was a lovely sight, but I don't really understand why they felt the need to have Sakura trees here. I mean, wasn't this school already pink enough? . . .Guess not. -_-

"Ne, Anzu~" I heard Aya call from under one of the Sakura trees.

"Hai, Nee-san?" Anzu replied sweetly.

"Look at that weirdo over there!" Aya said loudly pointing to me.

Do you see how they treat me? ;~;

"Ah, yeah. And look at those dorky glasses!" Anzu exclaime, her tone laced with mock-disgust.

"And that hideous hair-do, how disturbing. . ." Aya added with a giggle.

"Hey, wait a second. . ." Anzu trailed off,squinting her eyes in concentration.

"That's just Mimi-nee-chan. . .!" Anzu finished in realization.

"Oh," Aya began blankly.

"Hi Mimi-nee-chan~!" She added, waving enthusiastically in my direction.

Mushroom sighing, I lazily waved back and then continued on my way.

I really wasn't in the mood to argue with them today, especially when I need to conserve my energy so that I could survive my first day as the Host Club's maid.

Aya and Anzu then ran over to me, obviously unsatisfied with my reaction.

"What's wrong, Mimi-nee-chan?" Aya inquired with a pouty expression.

"Usually you'd be furious by now. . ." Anzu mused.

"And you'd probably be chasing us and shouting threats. . ." Aya pointed out.

I couldn't help but smirk at them.

"I have more important things to deal with today, so I need to conserve my energy. . ." I replied scathingly.

"More. . ."

"Important?" My sisters echoed rather dejectedly.

"Yup!" I chirped with a smile just as a cute pink petal landed in my outstretched palm.

[/img]

"A cherry blossom viewing banquet. . .?" I queried.

"Yes, that is today's theme as chosen by our King." Kyouya informed, scribbling notes down in his notebook rather furiously.

"Isn't it glorious, Mimi-chan?" exclaimed Tamaki, his amethyst eyes sparkling with excitement.

"I suppose. . ." I replied, awkwardly adjusting my glasses.

"Holding a loved one close beneath the Sakura trees, basking in a romantic atmosphere that occurs as rarely as the cherry blossoms bloom. . ." Tamaki rambled, hugging himself close.

Of course his speech was thoroughly ignored by both Kyouya and I, though Tamaki failed to notice.

Currently, it was after school in the Third Music Room and Tamaki and Kyouya had been informing me of today's "theme."

Oh, and the rest of the club? Well the majority of them were off getting changed into their cosplay outfits.

Yes, my fellow Otakus, I did say cosplay~ Yumm.

"We're back~!" the Hitachiin twins chorused, entering the room.

"And we've brought your costume!" added one of the twins as they both pointed at me.

. . .Uh, yay?

"Our mother made it specifically to match the costumes we're wearing. . ." The other twin piped up, holding up a back.

"Ah~! I can't wait to see my adorable daughter in her maid costume!" Tamaki proclaimed, pumping a fist in the air.

"Now, go change!" The twins declared in unison, shoving the bag in my arms and then pushing me in the direction of the changing rooms.

"When you're finished, report to the Cherry Bloosm Viewing Banquet immediately. . .!" Tamaki ordered.

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"Geez, what's with these bows?" I questioned in frustration as I walked.

Over all, the maid costume was nice, but a little too frilly for my tastes.

It was black and white like you'd expect, although it had way too many bows attached.

At a glance it appeared to be one of those off-the-shoulder dresses, but in reality it was just a bit too big for me.

Heh, well at least it wasn't short.

I'd probably die of embarrassment if it was one of those skimpy maid costumes used for like, Maid Cafes or something. After all, this isn't Kaichou Wa Maid-Sama! Pft, please. ~

"Ooh! Mimi-chan looks kawai, ne?" I heard Honey say as I reached the area where the Cherry Blossom viewing banquet was to take place.

At this comment the entire Host club turned to look at me.

There was silence for a moment and then-

"My dear daughter, no amount of words could ever describe just how wonderful you look~" Tamaki said twirling around rather melodramatically.

And right now, no amount of words could ever describe just how ridiculous he looks. . .

"Eh, Okaa-san did a good job. . ." Said one of the twins as the both of them sported a thumb's up.

"Of course it would've looked better if you weren't so flat-chested. . ." The other twin muttered.

"F-Flat-chested?" I questioned, taking offense.

"It's about time to greet the customers." Kyouya intervened, using the pen in his hand to point at the rapidly approaching ladies.

"Great, so what do I do?" I questioned as I pointed to myself.

"Smile, hold this, and serve the customers." Kyouya said, handing me a curcular tray with a teapot and a few teacups placed upon it.

"Right," I nodded.

For the very first time, I joined the Host Club in their "Greet-The-Customer" formation.

"Irashaimasen~"

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"My princess, which cup would you like your tea in?"

I heard Tamaki question one of his fangirls.

"This Foley cup? This Worcester one?" he continued showing off various teacups.

"Or this Susie's Gardenia?"

What's the big deal? I mean, they're only teacups. . .

Although in all honesty, I would have preferred the Susie's Gardenia myself.

"They're so lovely!" exclaimed the fangirl who was currently getting all close and super comfy with Tamaki.

"These are British antiques, right?" she asked curiously.

"What type do you like, Tamaki-kun?"

Swiftly invading her personal space, Tamaki replied, "Of course I'd choose the princess here for takeout, please."

I don't remember that being an option, the jerk!

"Oh. . .!"

"Tamaki-kun, that's-" The fangirl began, but I angrily turned my attention to the Hitachiin twins before I could hear the rest of her stupid statement.

"You've never been to the Covent Garden?" one of the twins questioned rather incredilously to a customer.

Oh my, she hasn't? That's so hard to believe, isn't it? -_-

"No. I've only been to Portobello as far as antique markets are concerned." The customer replied casually, although it seemed as if she was rather ashamed of her lack of Covent Garden visits.

"The place is quite enchanting." Quipped the other twin.

"These Victorian wares were pretty much bought from there. . ." The twin who had spoken early continued for his brother.

Yes, I still have yet to master the art of telling them apart. . .

Crash!

"Kaoru!" the twin who was talking about the Victorian wares exclaimed, turning to his brother.

Apparently, Kaoru, while pouring tea, had "accidentally" knocked over a teacup resulting in the tea buring his poor little finger.

So, Kaoru was the one who got injured, and Hikaru was the other.

Now I can tell them apart, or at least I can temporarily.

Hikaru then brought Kaoru's finger to his lips and gently sucked on it, or kissed it. Whatever. . .

But, it seems this excited the customers who were blushing a squealing a great deal at the very sight.

"It's because you were looking elsewhere. . ." Hikaru began ever so gently.

"All you need to look at is me. . ." He declared promptly afterwards, his tone rather sexy.

"Hikaru. . .~" Kaoru gasped shyly.

Well, I think we all know who's the Seme and who's the Uke. . . :P

"Ahh! I can't take it anymore, it's too beautiful!" one of their customers exclaimed turning away from the scene.

"That's such a waste! You should take it in carefully!" the other customer chided.

"This is a very important scene!" she finished.

Kyouya then took this time to appear and try to sell some merchandise to the customers.

However, whilst the ladies were distracted, the Hitachiins called out to me.

"Oi, Maid-san~" Kaoru began.

"Quit slacking off and do your job!" Hikaru finished with a smug smirk.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Clean this up, ne?" Kaoru questioned pointing to the teacup he had broken during his act.

Grumbling, I reluctantly complied.

Geez, why did they have to make a mess in the first place?

"I'll buy them!" exclaimed the two customers from earlier.

At the exclamation, the twins and I turned to look at Kyouya and the two female customers.

"So that's how we fund ourselves, huh?" I said with a sigh.

"Yeah. . ." The twins nodded in unison.

"But also. . ." One of them started.

"When were pictures of us taken?" Questioned the other in suspicion.

Well, at least Kyouya isn't selling a magazine with photos of me in it.

"Oh, and would you like to see the preview of our new magazine?" Kyouya questioned holding up a thinner magazine then the ones he had previously.

"Ooh~! Is that your new maid, the commoner one?" asked one of the customers.

I should have knocked on wood, bit my tongue, or something, damn it. . .!

"Yes, I think they'd make lovely presents for any male friends of yours, don't you?" Kyouya asked with a smirk.

"Yes of course! Can we order in advance?" the other customer asked.

"Of course you can ladies. . ."

Grr, I hate him. . .I really do.

Sigh.

[/img]

"In one day, those three people spend nine hours together on campus. However, your interactions with Haruhi are limited to the one to a two to one hour time period in this club. " Kyouya explained, pointing at the yellow and red graphs.

Yes, Tamaki had just come to terms with the fact that the twins spent more time with Haruhi then he did due to the twins teasing and Kyouya's explanation.

Of course, he spent nearly all day with me, but does he care. . .?

Nooo.

Besides, Haruhi's a guy! So unless Tamaki is secretly gay, I don't quite understand what he's so worked up about.

And that gigantic white board the graphs were on, just who do you think had to bring that in?

It definitely wasn't Kyouya! D;

"Another way to put it. . .Is that the amount of time you actually take part of Haruhi's daily life is but a mere 3%" Kyouya concluded.

"Waah~! I don't wanna here it, I don't wanna here it!" Tamaki whined childishly, covering his ears to protect them from the truth.

"O' Haruhi!" Tamaki began, grabbing the aforementioned male by his shoulders.

"You should not spend time with those unscrupulous twins anymore~!" Tamaki demanded.

"Hey!" exclaimed the twins, obviously feeling offended by the term "unscrupulous."

"I don't wanna hear that from you, Tono!" One of the twins declared, seeming quite irked.

"Oh yeah! Oh yeah!" began Tamaki weakly.

"All faults lie in the fact that you're hiding your gender as a girl from everyone!" Tamaki exclaimed clenching his fist.

"You need to return to your normal female student life!" He continued stubbornly.

"Get surrounded by your female friends. . .!" Tamaki ordered and as he did so, a pink sign then appeared above my head that read "FEMALE FRIEND~"

"-and have a healthy student lifestyle, that is father's wish!" Tamaki finished with anime tears.

"And who's this father?" Haruhi asked bluntly.

"Oh, revert back! Revert back, revert back now!" and there Tamaki was, shaking Haruhi so roughly by the shoulders I was afraid he might get whiplash.

"There's no need to hurry." One of the twins stated, seeming much calmer than our King.

"Besides, they'll find out in the very near future~" The other twin proposed.

"Remember, the day after tomorrow is the Physical Examination!" Chirped the first Hitachiin.

"Physical. . .Examination?" Haruhi asked, blinking dumbly.

Everyone then sported expressions ranging from surprised to downright scared as they stared at Haruhi without shame.

"Oh yeah, it's in two day, isn't it?" Kyouya mused, bringing a hand to his chin.

"Then. . .they really will find out. . ." Haruhi questioned, raising her index finger up in the air in a very "Eureka!" sort of way.

"-That I'm a girl." Haruhi finished simply, putting a finger to her cheek.

The rest of the Host Club gasped as lightening struck in the background.

Girl? Daughter? Female?

"Wait, Haruhi's a girl?" I questioned in shock.