Of Princes and Paupers

"Tamaki-kun. . ."

"Tamaki-kun, why are you so beautiful?"

"So that I can stay in your eyes as long as I can. . ."

"Tamaki-kun. . .~"

"Tamaki-kun, why is your voice so mellow?"

"So that my feelings may reach the depths of your heart. . ."

"Tamaki-kun. . .~"

"Tamaki-kun, why are you looking at me with such watery eyes?"

"So that your fresh smiling face may flood the fountain of my heart. . ."

"T a m a k i - k u n. . .~"

Well, he certainly has an answer for everything, doesn't he?

Ha, let's see if he has an answer to this. . .

"Tamaki-kun. . ." I called softly, putting down my platter of teacups and such.

In response, the blonde turned his hopeful amethyst eyes in my direction.

"Tamaki-kun, why are you so. . .corny?"

Smirking as I heard his customers utter a gasp as if they were completely abashed with my actions, I picked up my platter and proceeded to the next table leaving a babbling blonde in my wake.



"You two did wear the same kimonos after all!" Concluded one of the twins customers as she and her friend marveled at the symmetrical studs.

"All the kimonos you see today were designed by our mother. . ." The twin to the left called, subtly yet shamelessly advertizing his mother's works.

"If you wish, we're taking orders right now." The very same twin stated, almost nonchalantly.

"Our grandmother was the one who put them on for us, though." The other twin spoke up with a pleasant smile.

"And of course, it's my duty to take them off, right Kaoru?" The other twin added, bringing his brother dangerously close.

"Hikaru. . ." Kaoru gasped in an inappropriate tone as he took the time to glance back at his customers expectantly.

"Saying that in front of everyone makes me embarrassed. . ." He continued, blushing slightly.

"Eek." Their customers squealed in excitement.

"Please, let us see! We must as ladies!" They sputtered out boldly.

I myself felt that even if I'd never admit it aloud. . .

I had to agree with them xD

". . .Fooling around again." Haruhi stated from where she had suddenly appeared next to me.

"Haruhi-kun!" Her, um, his customers called eagerly as they came to stand before us.

"Your kimono look is cute, too!" They complimented, thoroughly checking Haruhi out.

Isn't it rather funny that his customers are sort of under cover lesbians?

It's like they're admiring how cute and feminine this boy is, when he's really a girl who chan barely even look the part of a freakin' male.

"You look just like a girl. . ." One of his customers sated, oblivious to the irony she had just made note of.

"Ah. . ." Haruhi said, not really having a response to that.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Doesn't he?" I agreed, handing the girls each a cup of tea.

"Haruhi, you've got designations. . ." Kyouya spoke up suddenly.

Haruhi and myself both glanced at the area in which Kyouya was seated calmly doing some sort of Calligraphy.

"Lately, your flow of designations has become steady, hasn't it?"

Well, obviously -.-

Before Haruhi could answer Kyouya finished with a, "Keep it up~"

"I don't intend on asking you for the interest that was supposed to be included also, so work hard to make the money." Kyouya encouraged.

And just when you thought he was being nice. . .

"Don't take lightly the rental fee for that Kimono either, eh?"

"Is he an evil magistrate or what?" Haruhi whispered to me all hush-hush like.

"Ano, well they don't call him the Shadow King for nothing, eh?" I replied with a sweat-drop that matched Haruhi's perfectly.

"Kyouya-sama, your kimono look is so wonderful!" Two customers spouted in admiration.

"Has the new photo collection for the Host Club not come out yet?" One of the customers inquired.

"Unfortunately, there are no plans for that-" Kyouya began with a fake smile only to be interrupted.

"Isn't this club getting filthy rich. . ." The twins questioned curiosly as they peeked over the paper wall that separated them from Kyouya.

". . .From our merchandise?"

"Wasn't this club already filthy rich to begin with?" I asked with a cocked brow, only to be ignored.

"Well the merchandise itself is pathetic. . ." Kyoua replied hush-hushly, turning to face the twins.

Kyouya retrieved a few photos from his kimono sleeve that looked like they were taken by two year olds that had just had five pounds of sugar.

"While we call it a photo collection, they're nothing more than photos secretly taken by amateurs."

Deciding to continue, Kyouya said "In order for us to secure even more club funds from the Academy's budget, I must develop merchandise much higher in quality. . ."

And to no one's surprise, Kyouya now had a calculator out.

Haruhi looked to be thinking to herself, so I turned to look at Honey who was steadily walking towards us.

"Haru-chan, Haru-chan. . ." He called pitifully and I felt like going 'aww' despite myself.

"I lost one of my zouri.~" He said as tears began to swell up in his chocolate brown hues.

"Weren't you wearing them just now?" Haruhi replied, as she was the one who was being addressed.

"Mitsukuni. . ." Mori called, suddenly appearing right next to me.

Mori then walked forward and placed the previously missing zouri upon Honey's bare foot.

"Takashi. . .!" Honey murmured cutely, no longer crying.

"You dropped it over there. . ." Mori said, gesturing to some random location.

"Takashiiiiiiiiiii!" Honey wailed, leaping upon the stoic samurai with enthusiasm.

"How beautiful!" Two customers called, marveling at the scene.

"Oh, so beautiful. . .!"

"Tear shedding acts sure are popular these day. . ." Haruhi denounced and I found myself thinking exactly the same thing.

"How does everyone cry so easily?" Haruhi pondered as she started to pace around in thought only to bump into a Hitachiin.

This would have been an event of little importance, if a bottle of tear drops hadn't of fallen from the Hitachiin's sleeve.

Stooping to pick up the aforementioned bottle, I found the answer to her question.

"Because of this. . .?" I offered coyly.

"Let me just say this first. . ." One of the twins said, no doubt in attempts to defend himself.

"Eye drops are common practice in host clubs." He said simply.

"Women are suckers for tearful eyes." The other twin confirmed smartly.

"That's so cheap!" Haruhi stated.

"Don't be so strict now~" The same twin called, poking Haruhi on the cheek with his index finger.

"Here Haruhi, I'll give you this." The other twin said, presenting a pretty pink sweet to Haruhi.

I felt myself seething at the fact that Haruhi doesn't even like sweets whereas I was a different story.

"You're giving this to me?" Haruhi stated rather than asked, rubbing salt in my jealous wound.

"Aww, how cute!" The twins replied.

"Haruhi-kun, you like Japanese sweets?" Two customers stated with hearts floating around them.

"No, not sweet things in general" Haruhi replied.

Hm, told you so!

"But I thought this might be a good thing to offer on my mother's memento. . ." Haruhi answered rather emotionally.

I felt rather bad for being so jealous earlier as I thought about my own loved ones that I had lost.

The customers appeared sympathetic, as Tamaki poofed onto the scene.

"My, how noble of you~"

"Tha, filial pity of yours is wonderful too!" Tamaki declared, leaning into Haruhi's personal space bubble.

"Here Haruhi, take as many as you'd like. . ." Tamaki declared, piling sweet upon sweet into Haruhi's awaiting hands, thoroughly overdoing it.

"Are those tears fake, too?" is all Haruhi could say.

"What are you talking about?" Tamaki shouted in dismay.

"My tears are always true and authentic. . .!" Tamaki said silkily.

Despite the situation, I found myself blushing at how handsome he looked.

"A true host can always shed a tear without resorting to eye drops. . ."

"Well what do you think? Impressed?" Tamaki asked Haruhi, like an eager puppy awaiting his master's praise.

"Fell for me once again?" Tamaki questioned cockily.

"Not really." Haruhi said, brushing him off.

"Somehow, my appeals don't work on Haruhi. . ." Tamaki stated as if it wasn't obvious.

"Maybe I should change my character a bit?" He inquired.

Haruhi turned her attention to a girl hiding around a corner, peeking out at our antics.

"Oh, aren't you a new face, our humble guest?" The twins called in excitement.

"What's the matter? Come on in!" One of the twins asked, presenting the girl with a rose from where they now stood before her.

"Just watching is boring." The other twin added in attempts at persuasion.

"Come~" They both called.

"Now there, I've always told you guys to be courteous to first timers~" Tamaki chided, now standing in front of the girl as well.

"Come, do not be afraid, princess~" Tamaki said with little doubt that the girl would not follow his orders.

And in fact, he failed to notice that the girl looked like she was about to have a nervous break down or something.

"Welcome to the Ouran Host Club!" Tamaki proclaimed.

"N-" The girl sputtered blandly.

"N?" Tamaki asked, drawing a blank.

SMACKKKK!

"No! Don't touch me, you phony!" And with that, Tamaki was sent flying backwards by Renge's smack to both hisface and his ego.

We all stood gasping at the girl who was so bold as to label our club's King as a phony.

After all, it was not often that anyone besides Haruhi, and on occasion me, has the audacity to insult our prince in such a way.

"Me, a p-phony?" Tamaki gasped in complete shock.

"I refuse to believe that you are like the prince of this club!" announced the girl.

Suddenly, soap opera music began thundering in the background in tune with the girl's onslaught of insults.

"A prince character does not spread his love so easily!" She pointed out as Tamaki looked frantic.

"Why do you look so much like a fool?" Renge questioned him.

"Well. . ." I began, only to stpo and gaze at the arrows that kept stabbing Tamaki.

"It's like you're just a dumb narcissist!" She declared and I felt that she had hit the nail on the head there.

"Incompetent!" She shouted as another arrow struck the blonde.

"Commoner!" She bellowed, now listing off random insults just for the heck of it.

Of course I was more mad at the fact that commoner was supposed to be an insult than the fact that this girl was insulting Tamaki.

"The WORST!" The girl announced as Tamaki was struck by lightening.

The rest of the host club and I watched now in a bored state as Tamaki displayed his new technique.

"Whoa. Is that a new technique?" One of the twins questioned in mild interest.

"S o l o-s l o w m o t i o n!" The twins declared in awe, needing something to entertain them.

As Tamaki fell to the floor in a thud, Kyouya decided to speak.

"Ah! Could you. . .be. . ." He began, no doubt trying to place a name to this girl's face.

The girl gasped, and allowed a few tears of joy to fly from her eyes.

"Kyouya-sama~!" She called in longing as she ran into the bespectacled boys arms.

"I wanted to see so dearly. . .the prince just for me."

For once, Kyouya looked to be without an explanation.



.:: The Host Club is now closed ::.

"Fiancée?"

"Kyouya-sempai's?"

With a nod, the strange girl who had had assaulted Tamaki decided to introduce herself.

"My name is Hoshakuji Renge. I shall be transferring into Class 1-A starting tomorrow."

In response to this, Tamaki had seated himself in his emo corner unbelievably fast.

"See? He's angry~" One of the twins decided to state the obvious.

"Because mommy hid a secret from daddy." The other twin pointed out humurously.

"Whatever you say, but do you guys plan on having that husband and wife setting become established?" Kyouya questioned, waving them off.

And to be honest, I wasn't sure what he meant by that statement :o

"It was quite the love at first sight experience!" Renge announced, popping up out of nowhere.

Suddenly a bubble appeared beside her head with a picture of a kind Kyouya tending flowers inside it.

"How he showed loving affection to the flowers in the backyard that no one would look at. . ."

The scene then changed to the kind Kyouya standing in the rain with little kitty licking his cheeks.

"And how he gently reached out his hand to the injured little kitty. . ."

"Who's this person?" The twins gestured blandly, pointing at the bubble.

"Did you take him for the wrong person?" Haruhi questioned with a cheerful smile.

Renge looked a bit angered as the bubble popped.

Hiding a particularly pointy pencil behind my back, I whistled as Renge snapped at Haruhi.

"No! My eyes cannot be mistaken!"

"A person that nice to others, that never asked for anything in return. . ." Renge described as the twins decided to run around Kyouya in a circle whilst chorusing:

"Who? Who?"

"A person who loves solidarity, but who's really a loner. . ."

"From the love simulation game that makes your heart throb, Ukidoki Memorial."

Wait, what?

"Ichijou Miyabi, you look exactly like him!" Renge called pointing a slim finger at Kyouya.

"Uki" Haruhi began.

"-Doki?" Honey finished as Tamaki and the twins began babbling about Renge being an Otaku.

"I see. . ." Kyouya called.

"She's the type that goes 'moe' over a character. . ."

"And by setting her moe character onto me. . ."

"She's fantasized to the extent of fiancée?" I guessed, interrupting him.

Looking a bit annoyed, Kyouya turned to me.

"Yes, this Miyabi-kun must be an eyeglass character. . ." He replied.

I resisted the urge to snort at Kyouya's subtle ability to admit he was a Megane.

"Wait, fantasize?" Tamaki questioned as everyone was now surrounding Kyouya and myself.

"So this thing about you being her fiancée is. . .?" Tamaki asked, realization dawning upon him.

"I don't ever recall confirming that." Kyouya said, his tone laced with ice.

"To begin with, today's the first time I've ever met her." Kyouya confirmed as Tamaki and the twins sported sweat-drops.

A sign then appeared in front of Kyouya reading, 'Then say so already.'

"Kyouya-sama. . ." Renge called after taking a dainty sip of her tea.

"According to my research, you manage every aspect of this club, correct?" Renge questioned.

"That's right, Kyo-chan is the boss." Honey answered cutely.

"The boss! That's so fitting of you!" Renge praised.

"My dream has always been to be the mascot girl for a store." Renge said.

"We don't need one, we're a Host Club" The twins pointed out hastily.

"I have decided~" Renge called, not paying the least bit of attention to what the twins had said.

"I shall become the manager of this Host Club!" Renge called.

Another sign appeared reading, 'She's not listening.'

"Oi, Kyouya. . ." Tamaki called, obviously about to protest.

"She is the daughter of an important business partner of the Ootori family, I ask you to be courteous to her." Kyouya said simply.

In retaliation, Tamaki could do nothing but sigh.

"I look forward to working with all of you." Renge said pleasantly with a bow.

Then a third sign appeared that read,

'For whatever reason, the birth of the female manager.'