Life of Illusion

“Who was that?” Jimmie asked, trying to see out the curtains to the Phelps' retreating forms, “They looked kind of cute.”

“Yeah, they were my neighbors.”

“Oh, what did they want?” She took the plate from me, poking the sandwich.

“To see if I was busy.” I answered, going back into the kitchen.

“I'm kind of afraid to eat this.” Jimmie laughed.

I made the smoothie, splitting it up into two glasses and joined Jimmie, who was now halfway through the sandwich. “It's really good, but hard to eat.” She nodded, “Want a bite?” She asked, mouthful of sandwich, holding the food out to me.

Once again, I scrunched up my nose once again and shook my head, “I'll pass.”

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes, “I can't wait until you get pregnant, so I can say how disgusting every weird thing you eat is.”

I laughed, “Hon, I'm not getting pregnant any time soon, thanks.”

“You say that now, but you never know England boys...” She trailed off shaking her head.

“Oh, shut up, you don't know.” I laughed, feeling relieved that she was joking. I thought it would be a lot longer before this actually happened. Even if she was eating really slow and only sipping her drink. She took two more bites of the sandwich before setting it back down on the plate.

“Ugh,” She groaned, “I feel really sick all of the sudden.”

“I don't know if that's the pregnancy, or the withdrawal. Or a little bit of both.” Jimmie put her hand over her mouth and doubled over, shaking her head. “Are you going to be okay? Should you go to the bathroom, or something?” I tried, rubbing her back.

She got up and rushed to the bathroom, a few minutes later, I heard the sounds of vomiting. I rubbed my temples, feeling sick myself. I hated the sound of someone throwing up. I busied myself with getting some water for her, slipping in some sugar and salt. It would replace some of the electrolytes she would lose...throwing up.

I couldn't believe it, really, all this time spent trying not to think about it and just before my 24th birthday, all I could think about was doing it again, because I felt I needed it. It just stress, I had to keep reminding myself. I always crave the drugs more when I'm stressed. That's why I read so much. It's virtually stress free.

And you get to slip into a completely different world, away from all your troubles and problems. A moment to escape.

Still faraway in my head, I gave Jimmie the water when she stepped out of the bathroom. “I'm sorry.” She apologized with a hoarse voice.

“Don't even worry about it, Jims.” I forced a smile, “It's probably going to happen more.” Her eyes were now watery and glazed over. She looked like the living dead to be quite honest.

“I'm just going to go upstairs...” She mumbled, struggling up the steps. I helped her as Will came in through the front door.

“Hey, is everything going okay?” He asked, following us up the steps. As I held onto Jimmie, I noticed her fever had come back slightly.

“She was just sick, she needs some more rest.” I explained to him.

“Hey, Jimmie, do you think you'll be okay on your own for a little bit?” Will asked, “I need a bit more help at the shop.” To this, Jimmie could only nod, having thrown herself face first onto the bed. I followed Will back out of the house, thankful for something else to do.

“What do you need?” I asked softly, pulling my jacket closer around me in the cold late November air.

“You to cheer up a bit, for Pete's sake!” He joked, throwing an arm around me shoulder.

Despite myself, I laughed, “Sorry. I'm just a bit stressed. I can't even begin to fathom how Jimmie must be feeling, though.”

“I reckon she's doing better than you, you're a mess, Aline!” He laughed.

I shrugged, “I bought a new book today.” I changed the subject. “It's really going to help Jimmie and me down the road a little bit.

“Oh, yeah?” Will sounded interested. “What's that?”

“It's one of those 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' type of books. I figured we better know what we're up against.” I told him, “Since neither of us has had a baby before.”

“Smart idea, Al.” He smile, finally removing his arm from around my shoulder. “But, do you want to get some actual entertaining reading material. There is a library we could go to, I'll let you use my card.”

“That would be good because I'm pretty much broke now and can't buy any more books for a while.” I nodded.

“Okay, we can go tomorrow, since my dad wanted this done today.”

“You never told me what it is we're doing, by the way.” I reminded him.

“Oh! Yeah.” He laughed, having just remembered, “There is some molding that needs painting while dad and I put the kitchen back together. It shouldn't take more than an hour or two.”

“All right,” I nodded, “I like painting. It's relaxing.”

“And if anyone needs to relax, it's you.” Will teased.

“Oh, shut it.” I laughed, pushing him a little.

“Oh!” Will pointed, “There we go. More laughter. Do more of that.”

-Jimmie-

Aline and Will had come home hours ago and had checked on me a couple times, but as it was getting dark, I could hear them bid each other good night, Aline stopping in to check on me one last time. “I'm in my room tonight, so if you need anything I'm there and Will's on the couch for the night.” She explained, “Good night, Jimmie.” She whispered, pulling closed the door.

But, so far, it had not been a good night. Now, along with the pain, I was shaking, but hot. It was impossible to get to sleep being this uncomfortable. I really couldn't stand it. After I was sure both of them were asleep, I crept slowly downstairs, my muscles screaming in pain.

Strike that, in some places, the pain was bone deep. But it was about livable because I wasn't doing this for myself. I was doing it for someone that wasn't even born yet.

I pulled the door open, hoping the old hinges wouldn't squeak enough to wake Will up.

Once I was safely outside, I breathed deep. The freezing late November air felt so good on my fevered body. And then I started walking. Somehow, just getting out of the house eased the pain a little, but I was still slow at walking.

“What are you doing out so late?” A voice asked.

I squeaked a little, whipping around fast. Then I wished I didn't. Clutching, my pounding head, I looked toward the voice, ready to run from any suspicious characters or possible rapists. But, he wasn't anywhere near me, and I spotted him sitting on the porch of the house I was in front of.

It was one of Aline's neighbors. When I said so, he looked a little confused. “You're a friend of Aline's?”

“Yeah.” I fidgeted, suddenly self-conscious. “And you are?” I trailed off.

“Oliver.” He smiled, making his way over to me to shake hands.

His hand was big and warm. And even with my 5”8' self, he still towered over me. I couldn't imagine how short Aline looked next to them seeing as how she was about six inches shorter than me.

“I'm Carla Jo, but everyone just calls me Jimmie.” I said to him, he shook his head.

“Can't do that.” He said in his adorable accent.

“Why not?” I asked, confused.

“My brother's name is James, and I call him Jimmy sometimes. It would be confusing.”

“Call him Jamie, it's closer.” I suggested, sitting beside him on the porch steps.

“Na, he hates that. Not that it stops him from calling me 'Ollie'.” He scowled, “So, can I just call you Carla?” He asked.

“I guess.” I shrugged, staring up at the sky.

“So....Carla.” Oliver started, “What brings you to the wonderful land of Birmingham? You're from Virginia, same as Aline, right?” He finished.

“Yeah.” I said, wrapping my arms around my stomach. “Just...personal reasons.” I answered, not going to tell him anymore.

“So, it wasn't on impulse like you're weird friend?” So that's what she's told them. Impulse my butt, ever since she decided to quit, she's been working herself to the bone to get the money to come here. She obviously hadn't told them much about herself.

I mean, of course, right? She came to get away from it all, not to brag to everyone she mean. Who would want to?

“No.” I answered, realizing I had been quiet for a while.

“So, when did you get in?” He asked.

“Yesterday afternoon.”

“Is the jet lag keeping you awake?” He asked.

If only I scoffed in my head, “Yeah, what's your excuse then?”

“Sometimes I just can't sleep.” He shrugged, pulling at some long grass at the edge of the steps. “You're shaking, are you cold?” He pointed out. Even though I was still sweating and wearing a sweatshirt, it was a little cold.

“I better get back inside.” I stood up, “I only came out to cool down a little bit. Linney keeps her place like a million degrees.”

“Fahrenheit or Celsius?” Oliver asked, which I could only guess was a crack on the American vs. Metric system.

“Whichever is hotter.” I answered jokingly back, waving.

“Nice meeting you!” He waved.

I don't think I have ever been so infatuated with someone upon meeting than I had with Oliver. Yet...there was something strangely familiar about him...