Crossing Figures

With an eventful night behind I got up at half past five. Too early, but I didn’t want to risk being late at work, Ms. Prada would murder me personally.

But there was another reason why I had chosen such an ungodly hour to get up. My novel wasn’t finished, and since the very few pages I had written in recent weeks I felt it was time again to work on it.

Still cozy in my bathrobe, I sat down and watched the last few lines I had written down. A broken love, if you could call it love already. Who wrote so plane about the love of their life? Well, I did.

What a fantasy. Sometimes I hated myself and my realistic outlook on life, it made a barricade for my dream to write books as an extra income, I couldn’t spray a shred of romance from the tip of my pen because I didn’t know anything of it.

If somebody would ask me: "Define the word love", I'd probably say: "A chemical reaction between two people and a relationship starts." A scientific and simple explanation. Like the love lines that ran through my stories.

I knew crushes. But that was by no means a clear connection with the pure love that every woman wanted to feel once in her life, and that made me almost crazy. How could I brew a romantic story if I could only describe my own life, in a dull way? Who cared that a young woman trying to build a career for herself, had never known love before?

There was nothing special about it. In society, all women with careers, sometimes with a single slip in between, were the same. Nobody saw the strong women with a kind and loving man standing supporting and caring behind her, because in the eyes of the world there was no such person. It made me angry.

A long time I stared at the paper, a few sentences were scribbled away, but for the hundredth time it was a waste of durable paper. I couldn’t even poetic describe parental love, because the parental love that I got didn’t feel real. Yes, I knew my parents loved me, but in a bizarre way. Too difficult, too complicated to describe.

I loved my mother and father, although it was sometimes difficult to love my mother. Part of me hated her men devouring star inside, but she had taken such good care of me in my childhood that I forgave her every time.

Dad, however, had stolen my heart. He was my role model, my hero, the only consistent man in my life. Even my uncles and cousins and other family relatives had lost contact with me since the year had passed because I had moved to the city, and I didn’t do much effort to change that.

"Fuck it, I give up," I swore loudly and clearly.

Irritated, I put my notebook and pen aside and decided to have a warm, long shower. That
would surely help me get all the things out of my mind and keep my head to the real matters
of the day; Daniel and Miss Prada.

After the shower I got in my car and drove off, in my head everything was at peace, making me drive calmer, and not like some kind of speed demon.

And this time I had made it without being late, or almost overwrought to get through the traffic jam. Even the latte coffee Miss Prada had ordered balanced neatly in the cardboard box on the passenger seat next to me, and I held a caramel cappuccino in my hand. And what I found even more at ease was that the boy with the large dose of freckles had taken my order. No more surprises.

Like in a cartoon, I heard the birds whistle around me, the sun broke through the clouds and brought me with his light to the building almost entirely made of glass. There was a chance that today would be a beautiful day.

"Jeanine, will you call someone to bring the coffee to Miss Prada?"

In a good mood, I put the brown substance on her desk, and Jeanine grinned broadly when I stopped briefly, waiting for a reply.

"Of course, Lux," she said mysteriously.

To make clear why she talked so mysterious she took the cup of coffee with both hands, and I couldn’t miss it.

"Is that ...?" I stammered.

Without asking permission, I put the caramel cappuccino on the counter and grabbed Jeanine's left hand, a stunner of an engagement ring sparkled on her finger. The bluish diamond reflected the light and I had to squint my eyes.

"Do you like it?" Jeanine asked beaming.

"Yeah, it's ... Beautiful!" I smiled, though for me it could’ve been a little more modest. "But why another ring? You’ve gotten your engagement ring three months ago, right? I remember the nice - moderate - ring..."

"He thought I deserved more," Jeanine interrupted me. "And now I look at it, I think it's fantastic! Oh, Lux, I've never been so happy!"

"You're beaming!" Or was that the diamond that blinded me? "I'm super happy for you, Jeanine. But now I have to work. Everything runs so smoothly today!"

I took my caramel cappuccino and ran to the elevator before Jeanine could tell her how her sweet, lovely Luke had given her her second engagement ring, how they kissed each other so passionate it felt like they could fly and then made love to each other in the most sweet way. It just made me feel alone, and I didn’t want that to happen on my perfect day.

The elevator arrived on the second floor, and when I walked into my office, I saw Daniel sitting already, this time he had tossed his feet on the expensive antique table and played with what looked like a paper airplane.

"You're busy, I see," I said sarcastically.

"Hmm ..." he replied absently. But when I sat down and he noticed how tight my skirt sat around my ass I got his full attention. "You look fantastic again, Lux."

"Stop being such a kiss-ass, Daniel!" I snapped at him. "And don’t look at my butt, please. This was the last decent skirt I had, and he’s a bit too small."

It was indeed not a lie. The black skirt sat fairly tight around my ass, but it would be a shame to walk inside the building of Fashion Supersize without formal attire. And the only thing I still had hanging in my closet were ugly jeans that I wore at the weekend when I was on my own watching TV.

Because the skirt sat around my waist, my ribs seemed to be compressed and I when I moved I almost couldn’t breathe. For me it was very uncomfortable, but for Daniel it was a pleasure to behold.

"Why am I not allowed to look at you? I have the permission to say when a woman looks good, haven’t I?"

"And how many times a day do you say that?" I bit back.

"Not so much because such a beautiful woman like you I haven’t seen a lot before."

Most women would find this amazingly flattering, but it almost made me gag. The look in his eyes betrayed that he wanted more lust anything else, and I didn’t want a relationship just for sex. Certainly not with an arrogant brat like Daniel.

"Yeah, great, Daniel," I said. "Play with your cute paper plane or something but leave me alone. I have much work to do."

Daniel laughed. "You're a tough one, Lux, I must give you that."

At that moment I had the urge to throw my keyboard at his head. That sickening smile, the wink he gave me his and his eyes trying to peek into my cleavage. Unfortunately, I wore a white shirt without a deep exposure. Ah! This man certainly wouldn’t get a better look of me.

"Lux? Would you like to pass on the papers of Miss Prada?"

I almost choked in my coffee when he said it. "Why? Isn’t that my job as a secretary?"

"Normally it is," Daniel said dryly. "But they gave me the task now. Maybe you didn’t do your job good enough?"

Oh, so now he wanted to play it this way? If his seductive glances didn’t work on me, he would try to make me jealous with his new job status? Well, he could fill in all the forms of Ms. Prada, I could care less about it.

"Here," I grumbled.

I hurled the bundle of paper to his head and went on sorting photos and important mails.

"I also a need a pen."

His voice was menacingly close. Carefully I turned my head a bit to the right so I could almost taste Daniel's breath on my lips. His eyes swept over my face, and remained for a few seconds at my lips.

"My God! Never thought about privacy?" I squeaked loudly. Angry I stomped the pen in his hand and pushed him further away from me. "Stay away from me, Daniel Smith!"

And luckily he did.

&&

"Lux! A tragedy!"

Thierry flew through the door nearly hysterical, the last bits of hair he had sticking in all kind of directions.

"What’s wrong?" I asked.

The clock ticked to seven hours, which meant I was allowed to go home. But with an emergency like this, I loved to work overtime.

"Miss Prada wants me to bring her to a gala ball, but I'm not with the car today. I came by Metro ..."

Cold sweat dripped from his forehead, certainly when Daniel laughed scornful from behind us.

"I give you the keys of my car, you give me your metro card," I told Thierry. "Bring my car back to the building, I give you your metro card back."

Relieve washed over his face. "Thanks, Lux! You're a lifesaver!"

Hastily he took the subway ticket from his pocket, and at the same time we threw our belongings towards each other. Thierry then sprinted out of the office and made his way to Miss Prada's office.

"Hmm ... I can take you home if you want to?"

Daniel put his hand on my bare shoulder and goose bumps appeared on my arms. The goose bumps were certainly not a sign of affection, rather of disgust. I couldn’t stand that he tried to touch me the whole time, trying to be seductive. It made me go crazy.

"I can live by myself, thank you." I shook his hand from my shoulder. "There is a subway stop near my house, I'll be fine."

Never had I walked so fast to get out of the building. The thought that Daniel would chase me gave me itches and I couldn’t get quick enough into the subway station.

In the metro station it was reasonably calm, it was approximately seven thirty. I went to the platform and when I descended the stairs I saw a metro pass by right in front of my nose. And when I looked at the time table it would take fifteen minutes for another metro to get here. So there was nothing else to do than steal a place from a howling kid waiting until the metro would arrive.

Unfortunately, all the places were already occupied, and the only person who wanted to stand up for me was a middle-aged man who made me think of Daniel. And I wanted to stay rather far away from someone like him. So there was no other option than to remain standing and be busy with my mobile phone to avoid conversations with other people.

For some reason I found underground stations scary. That was probably because of all the movies I had seen where people flew through the air in bombings, people got shot down by a gang to take revenge, and vampires took over the metro station in search for blood and death.

Of course that were only movies, and my last idea sounded like nonsense, but the first two things were things that could actually happen, and it made me worried. If I died, no one would recognize me, nobody would expect me as a businesswoman in a subway station. My life would fade away without anyone knowing anything about it.

Or maybe not.

"Taking the subway today?"

I nearly tumbled backwards when I heard his voice. The Ben caricature stood beside me with a crooked, lazy grin on his face and the famous cigarette dangling between his lips again.

"It’s just for one time ... Well, actually, for two times, because I have to go back again," I told him.

Hopefully that was enough to keep him away from me.

"You didn’t leave your car at the bridge?" he asked.

"No, I lent it to someone as a favor," I smiled kindly.

"I see," he said curtly.

He fell silent and stayed next to me, a little too close to my personal bubble that I had made for myself. I felt his leather jacket brush my shoulder - a split second, but I felt it anyway - and took a few steps sideways.

"Ben! Are you harassing women again?"

A young man of about my age – maybe a little bit older, I wasn’t sure – gave Ben a punch in the side. He laughed when Ben gave him a punch back.

"I know her, so it's not harassing," he replied.

Correct, I knew him. Not correct, he harassed me a little bit.

"Why don’t you introduce me to her?"

I felt my cheeks flush red when the boy pushed Ben aside and looked at me from head to toe.

"Okay ..." Ben growled annoyed. "James, that's Lux Nicholls. Lux, that's James Cassells. That's it."

"Nice to meet you, Lux! Also waiting for the subway?"

James grabbed my hand and shook it.

"What do you think she is doing here otherwise, James? I don’t think people stand here for fun," Ben rolled his eyes sarcastically.

I still said nothing and watched the two guys getting embroiled in a discussion until I felt the ground shake, the subway could arrive any moment.

The subway came to a halt in front of me and the door opened. People crowded around me, but I stood there, frozen. I couldn’t get in the subway! I was afraid, I didn’t want to be bombed by a terrorist. I didn’t want to die alone.

"Hey, Lux! What are you waiting for?"

I blinked my eyes startled and saw James stare with a frown at me. The beeping sound that showed that the doors could close any time rang shrill in my ears and without thinking I jumped on the subway.

A sultry heat hung in the overcrowded wagon, and a boy of about eighteen years with headphones on stared at me. He sat on one of the folding chairs near the door, and his fiery eyes pierced me. Quickly I looked the other way.

"Is everything okay? You look so ... Worried?"

I grabbed onto one of the iron poles that stood in the passage and shrugged my shoulders. Ben and James were also standing at the pole, both of them looked down on my head. I was quite small, and I was relieved that I couldn’t see them exchange a few glances. It would just make more worried than I already was.

"Have you ever been onto a subway?" James tried to lighten my mood.

"No, this is my first time." And probably my last, I added in my mind.

"It's not as exciting as it looks," James started to tell. "All the movies and stories about the subway aren’t correct. Most action I've ever seen on the subway is how Ben got beaten with a handbag from an elderly woman. Hilarious!"

Ben hit James annoyed at the back of his head, but that didn’t stop James from bursting out laughing. I giggled.

"Why did she do that?" I asked curiously.

"Well ... She had a little dog with her, a Chihuahua ..., Ben hadn’t seen the dog and accidentally stood on his tail so that the dog started to howl terribly loud! The woman got so upset that she hit Ben in the head with her handbag," James said between laughter outbursts. "You should’ve seen it! It was hilarious!"

Ben grunted something incomprehensible and rigid looked out the window. He felt embarrassed that his best friend dared to say such a shameful thing to an almost stranger, but I found it amusing and it passed the time in this steel monster.

But three stops, a lot of stories of James and dirty looks from Ben later, the two boys had to get off.

"Bye, Lux! See you later!" James winked.

Elegantly he jumped onto the platform, and Ben followed after he had given me a little, awkward smile that I returned shyly. I kept my eyes on them until the doors closed and I was back in a dark tunnel, on the way to my final destination.