Entres Nous

Two Days Ago

He had realized his mistake the moment he had said the words out loud, his entire brain screaming to take it back at once. He wasn’t one to act without weighing the pros and cons first. In fact, it seemed that even in his most desperate situations he first took a step back to see the big picture. It came easy to him to be rational. But he had acted out of character the second his lips parted and voice took over. “Hyung?”

“Ne? (Yes?)” Seungho tipped his head back, blinking a couple of times at the tall boy lying down on his bed. His hand lied on top of a mouse, his finger tips ready to press whatever the internet let him explore. They were both the only ones with an easy schedule that day, all work finished before the sun set that day so they opted to loaf around as much as they could before they grew busy once again.

“Wait, hold it,” Chan stopped him before he could continue. “How is Seungho even involved in this story?”

“He’s actually a huge part of how it all happened.” Thunder cupped his chin with his hand.

“The irony in all of this is truly...” She shook her head. “marvelous.”

“Are you happy?”

“What do you mean?” He had caught his attention with his odd question, whirling himself around to face Thunder.

“Are you happy with your relationship with Soyeon-ssi?” Their eyes locked for a couple of seconds, Thunder being the first to glance away, focusing on cracking his fingers instead.

Seungho raised an eyebrow, giving him a skeptical look before answering his question. “Why do you ask?”

“I was just wondering.”

“Well,” The blonde licked his lips. “Yeah, I guess.”

“You guess?” For some reason that answer irritated the brunette.

“What do you want me to say? We hardly see each other because of our busy schedules. We talk as frequently as I can, but it isn’t sufficient. I wish I could see her more. I wish I had the power to do more to aid our relationship, but I don’t. But I’m satisfied with what we have now.” Seungho stretched his back out, extending his arms upward and groaning. “It’s fine what we have now.”

“That sounds miserable.” The brunette raised himself from the bed, sitting up straight and crossing his legs. “That sounds like a miserable excuse you keep telling yourself over and over so you don’t break up with her.”

Seungho picked up a pillow and threw it at his face. Thunder caught it before it hit. “Are you trying to pick a fight with me? I like her okay? Get that in your head. When you like someone you do everything you can to make them happy.”

“What about Yura?!” Thunder wasn’t one to raise his voice, but that day seemed like a complete exception. Acting out of character, speaking informally and rudely to his leader, clenching his fists in anger? He had been driven insane by a girl. That was his only explanation.

Seungho stood up as well. “What about her?”

“Isn’t she the girl you like?”

The leader was taken back by his comment, his brain trying to formulate a reply back as quick as it could before Thunder won him over. “Wh-what? What are you talking about?”

“You can lie to her, but you can’t lie to us, hyung.” Thunder stood his ground, his arms crossed over his chest. “We all know the only reason you even considered going out with Soyeon-ssi was because you wanted to forget about Yura. It was because of the incident-,”

Seungho tackled him to the ground before he could continue. He held him down with his knees, pinning his arms above his head.“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! You don’t get to talk about it like you understand! You weren’t part of it, you don’t know! You don’t know anything!”

Their eyes glared into each others’, knowing that if they did any harm to each other they would immediately pay for it ten times worse if their managers got a look at their bruises. They couldn’t fight like real men and they were aware of it. His hyung was right though. He didn’t know anything. He knew all the straight facts, he knew how’s and when’s, but he had no idea the emotional turmoil both Yura and Seungho had gone through because of the occurrence. He had no idea at at all.

“Wait, what incident?” The brunette stopped him once more in the midst of his story. Not once since she had arrived to South Korea had she heard of an incident. But the moment her eyes met Thunder’s she knew it wasn’t a happy tale.

“It’s better if you don’t ask.” His eyes casted downwards. Chan said nothing in response. He continued.

Seungho stood up, letting Thunder roll onto his stomach before quickly pushing himself into a standing position. Before he could exit the room, the leader blocked his path, his hand slamming against the door, shutting it close. “Mianhae. I shouldn’t have pushed you. It was my fault.”

The younger boy didn’t reply back, his hand tightly wrapped around the doorknob.

“I hated everyone, you know? I hated every single person. But the person I most hated was myself for letting it happen. For not stopping it when I could’ve had.” Seungho stared down at his feet. “At that time, I couldn’t even look at her. I couldn’t bare it. My heart couldn’t bare it. I’m sure she cried a lot. But I was even more certain that nothing I said to her would make her tears stop flowing Not me anyway. And nothing I said to myself would fix me either.”

Thunder clenched his jaw.

“The only person who spoke the words I wanted to hear was Soyeon. She messaged me every single day. I’m sure at the beginning she was just feeling sorry for me. And I was sure that all I wanted was the pity. But eventually...” He licked his lips. “It grew into more. I felt safe inside her heart. I never meant... for Yura to go through all that even after it happened. I never meant for it. It just did. I can’t back away from my feelings for Soyeon. I can’t. Because she was the only one that tried to fix me and... won.”

The brunette slammed his fist against the door, startling the blonde just enough for Thunder to open the door and walk out. Seungho followed behind. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t know.”

“Cheondu-,”

“Stop.” His words were muffled by his sweatshirt which he slipped over his head. He was quick to slip on whatever shoes he found first near the door that belonged to him. “Just... stop.”

He didn’t glance at his leader once before exiting out the front door.



He stuffed his hands inside his pockets, zipping his jacket all the way up. The neck was long enough to cover his nose and mouth, his breath hot against the fabric. He stared at the little lights in the elevator, watching the numbers blink backwards one by one, all until he reached the first floor.

The building where MBLAQ lived wasn’t very big and it wasn’t as populated as most officetels. They had just recently move and the quiet the whole area provoked was very comfortable to sleep-deprived idols, so as soon as the CEO of their company promised them a new home, they immediately begged for this one.

The one and only fault about the entire neighborhood was that it was maze-like. The only way Thunder could walk around was if someone went with him; someone with a good sense of direction. In fact, the only place he actually knew how to get to from his dorm was the one location he refused to go to. But the moment his foot stepped outside he knew it was either there or no where for the night.

He slipped his phone out from his jean pocket, scrolling down name by name until he reached hers. He clicked the little green button, placing the Blackberry next to his ear, crossing his arm as he huddled under the building entrance. It rang twice before he heard her voice. “Moshi- ah, fuck, yeoboseyo?”

Thunder snorted. “You’ve lived here for how long and you still answer your phone in Japanese?”

“You can’t blame me, moshi moshi is way cuter than yeoboseyo.”

He smiled. “Are you busy?”

“So busy I want to cry.” Her tone was serious enough for it to be unbelievable.

Thunder shook his head. “Really?”

“Not even a little bit. I’m on my way home actually. Just dropped off one of your band members at his party thing.”

“Oh,” He paused, trying to get his thoughts straight. “Do you want to go out for a drink?”

“I thought you were busy all night lazing around with Seungho.”

“Plans changed.” He glanced down at his shoes.

“Whatever you say... well, if you want to then yeah sure. Do you want me to pick you up?”

“Ah, aniyo, it’s fine I’ll walk there. There’s a store right next to your place right? I can buy the drinks if you want if you don’t want to go out.”

She laughed. “Don’t bother, I have enough soju to buzz out an entire country at my place. Just come over. We’ll drink until we can’t drink no more.”

“Fine, see you in fifteen minutes then.” He started walking, quickening up his pace.

“See you.”

For the first time in the entire day, he felt a sense of relief.