Just Paint Your Face

My eyes snapped open as the sun rose, as I often did since my double life had started. We were tangled with each other, tangled in system of leaved and stems. I blinked, confused.

Must've happened while I was asleep, I thought.

He didn't even wake up, snoring lightly. His mouth was parted and mumbled something incoherent. He talked in his sleep. You could tell. Nobody had that much madness in their subconscious without letting some of it out in the night. Otherwise, your head would just blow it's top. I marveled as the sun crept up. He was so peaceful when he slept. Nothing like the man with paint on his face. Sure, the scars displaying the forever-smile upon his face were there but he looked perfectly sane, sleeping beside me--just a man who'd had a bad night with the mob, that's all.

And then walked home and stuck a razor in his mouth, leaving his past behind in the ruins of a chemical factory.

He mumbled again, shifting. I commanded and the leaves shrunk back hesitantly, wanted to hold on.

They like him, I smiled.

"The kitchen... the kitchen's a mess." I smirked at his sleepy monologue.

"You give her three of those... they make her something, but I can't promise it'll be a good thing. Please, don't kill me. Won't tell anyone..." His voice trailed off. I perked up, intrigue.

"You don't know what you're doing... she'll be more powerful than you think."

"Shut up." He growled and rolled over, thrashing my sheets around. I stretched.

"Can't lay in bed all day." I sighed impatiently, feeling energized. I dressed quietly and headed out, leaving him there with his dreams of a man he'd killed just for me. I flipped on the TV, which was stuck to the Gotham morning show. I sat down on the sofa with a cup of tea, staring off into nothing, let my thoughts wander to the night before.

I saw every part of him them, every high and low. One moment he'd throw me violently on the bed, the next he'd handle me as if I was made of glass. He pinched, stroked, caressed, and everything in between. I didn't mind this. In fact, I liked it. The roller coaster of moods he'd went through last night kept things interesting, and I didn't feel bored like I had in the past.

I heard a thump and a curse. I assumed he'd fallen out of bed. Not too long after that I looked behind to see him shuffling in lazily. His trousers were on but he hadn't bothered wearing a shirt. His hair was a disaster. He scratched it, moving towards the kitchen.

"Good morning." I called.

"IMHO." He groaned and I smiled.

"You don't seem too excited for someone who's going to rob a bank today."

"I haven't eaten breakfast yet."

"Well you'd better hurry up because I told Harvey I only had an appointment today, not the day off."

"Then make me some eggs."

I scoffed, "Screw you."

"Already did."

I huffed, "Go get ready or something."

He shuffled off into the hallway again.

I finished my tea and made some eggs, hardly believing I was doing something so mundane for him. I ate a few bites and left a plate out on the counter, going off into my room to get dressed. I threw on something inconspicuous, pausing to glance at the bed. He'd left a mask there. I picked it up. It was dirty, old, and smelled funny.

"Are you fucking serious?" I laughed to myself.

"Am I ever that serious?" I turned to see him in the doorway, dressed in a generic looking suit.

"I'm not wearing this ugly shit." I wasn't one of his faceless little men who could be given a mask and dehumanized, like some idiot extra in a film. I was Ivy. I had a name that wasn't BOZO, and I didn't do magic tricks. I did straight up magic.

"Who said you were?" He shrugged and hummed and walked off to the smell of food, fiddling in his pockets.

After breakfast, we stood side by side in the mirror of my bathroom. He slathered on his clown makeup with lazy precision as I carefully applied mascara and blush onto my face.

"You're going to make the entrance. You're in charge there. Clear it and scare them a bit. The bodies take care of the money."

I nodded in understanding as he took a case of red lipstick out and stretched it sloppily across his lips and scars. He smacked them, surveying his work. He mumbled and nodded to himself, then turned to me.

"Beautiful. But something's... missing." He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out the case of poison lipstick, carefully running it across my lips,

"I could kiss you right now."

I laughed, "why didn't you just take those syringes? You wouldn't even need me."

"I'm the clown, not the plant. Having more than one... gimmick usually confuses people. Besides, I don't need you."

"But you said..."

"Listen, I got 99 problems. And a bitch isn't one. You ever hear that song? I didn't need you. I picked you. And you picked me. So we're uh, we're in this together now, you got that?"

I nodded. He smirked, "School's almost out. Let's go."

The teller working there was some young Italian kid. You could totally tell this was a mob bank. He didn't suspect anything of me at first, in fact he smiled slyly, probably deciding to take a crack at me. I hummed quietly as he cleared his throat.

"You wanna open a account, lady?"

"Yes." I smiled.

"Checking or saving?" He smiled flirtatiously.

I sighed, "Not sure..."

"Well, how about something else." He winked.

"Are you kidding?"

"Nah, lady."

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head stubbornly. I glanced up at a blond teller nearby. She was shaking her head with me.

"Whatev. They always come back. What account you want?"

"Well... Oh! I got it."

He looked at me wide-eyed as I pulled a gun out from my purse and raised it in the air.

"All I wanna do is..."

BANG BANG BANG. My gun echoed through the large room.

"...and take your money."

I let the Ivy in me take over.

I cackled as the womanizer blinked and fell over, fainting. I let the girls do the rest of the work, knocking out or restraining any of the tellers and possible threats. I sang lightly as I walked about, clearing the room quickly of anyone who tried to stop me.

"Pirate skulls and bones,

sticks and stones and seeds and bombs,

running when we hit em,

lethal poison for the system."

There was a loud shot and a glass wall nearby shattered. A gruff looking man whom I presumed was the some kind of office jock was rushing towards me, holding a large gun. A fury filled his eyes.

"Oh, hi there, sir." I smiled. He didn't seem to notice my "talents". At first.

"Do you have any idea who you're stealing from?!"

Wasn't it obvious?

"You and your little friends are DEAD!" He screamed and let a shower of bullets fly. Before one could hit me, a trendil shot out of my arm and wrapped around his leg. I yanked, and he fell on his back, cursing out of shock and anger. The gun flew out of his hands and landed a few feet away.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk." I looked down at him, "Stupid boy."

"What are you? What is this?" He stared down at his leg in disbelief. He screamed as the thorns gored into his skin.

"Ivy." I smiled wickedly. I heard footsteps behind me and turned. I recognized one of the clowns very well (he was wearing the mask he'd left on the bed), the other was nameless to me.

"Joker's pretty stupid, huh? How's he gonna get all the money back to the place?" The nameless one suddenly raised his gun, making me panic for a moment.

"The boss told you to shoot me after we loaded the cash, I'll bet." Nameless said triumphantly.

The Joker had reached me now, and was pushing me gently off to the right as the Nameless one stood dumbly.

"No, no, no." He said softly, amusingly, "I kill the bus driver..."

"What bus dr--"

Before he could finish, a violent crash sounded as a yellow bus backed into the building.

The driver hopped out.

"What happened to him?" He looked down at his fallen comrade. The joker casually pointed his gun behind him without a glance and shot. I let go off the manager, now so injured that he couldn't get up. We loaded the cash into the yellow bus. The joker swinging each bag in with a sloppy fashion while I loaded each one methodically and neatly into stacks.

"Yous guys won't get away with this.... whoever hired you... he'll just kill you!"

The Joker turned and cocked his head in interest, his silly mask still covering his face. He walked over calmly as the man continued, "Criminals in this town used to have rules! They had HONOR and RESPECT. What do you two believe in, huh?WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE I---?"

The Joker stood directly over him now, pulling out a grenade from his jacket.

He took off the mask.

"I believe whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you... stranger."

I heard the man whimper. My back was already turned, my Ivy slithering back into hiding as I stepped toward the bus.

What about you, Ivy?" The Joker called and I blinked in surprise.

"Well?" he demanded.

"You're always responsible for the things you create." I heard the dark voice call after a pause.

The Joker cackled and tucked the grenade in the man's mouth. "LET'S GO." he shouted and we climbed into the bus. As I looked back I saw the string had dislodged from the grenade. Smoke filled the air as the son of a bitch passed out in relief and shock.

"Take me to work." I directed as he sat in the drivers seat and pulled into the morning traffic. It was amazing how no one in this town ever saw anything.

He tapped his hands on the steering wheel and hummed.

"First, we go shopping."

"For what?" I sneered.

"The party. You need a dress, I need to pick up a suit." He licked his lip.

I rolled my eyes. Harvey was going to have a fit.