Just Paint Your Face

The Joker

"These are from when I hurled myself off a building..." She hissed as I pointed them out, running a hand across them and closing her eyes, as if trying to relive the memories of each mark.

"And these?" She lightly caressed a few ripples of flesh that stood out upon my shoulder. My eyes lingered on her face as I paused, trying to remember.

Or forget. I didn't know what was what anymore.

"Oh, uh, ...the mob."

"That night?"

I nodded simply, rolling over and quickly grasping my pants from the floor. It had been dawn for over an hour, I guessed. The woman always woke up with the sun, it was some deal with the plant in her. But she was more human than plant--we both knew that very well.

At least she didn't talk so much, otherwise I'd grow tired and kill her.

Oh, but you can't.

Yeah huh.

You already tried.

I shoved the voice out of my head. They came and went, some of them sounding like previous victims, others just strangers passing through to give their two cents.

I glanced back at her as I buttoned up my trousers. She was slipping into some plain dress she'd picked out while I was still asleep. Her hair was down, as it always was when she was happy and calm. I marveled at her for a few moments. She really was... something. Her body was perfect and smooth, but inside, I knew her soul was as scarred and twisted as the forever present smile on my face.

I didn't know what had made them, but it was plain to me that they were there. I didn't ask or try and figure them out. I left her alone. I knew the way I treated her sometimes was enough.

"I got a uh, ...meeting with the mob today. Just need to talk to them. Something little." I declared, throwing on my shirt. I knew she wouldn't go. She knew I didn't need her, so when I 'asked' her for something she liked to hold it over my head by saying she had to "work" or something.

"Sorry." She said, running her hands through her blood-red hair. It had a mind of it's own, just like the thing in her arm, "I've got a little errand to run today."

"Oh? What's that?" I walked over the sink, grabbing up my raggedy bag of face paints and makeup.

"I'm taking care of the girl."

My eyebrows snapped together, "Uh, I don't want you doing that."

She turned. I saw her face behind me in the dirty mirror. Her eyes shown with some form of anger, sadness, and a hint of desperation. She must've of lost a kid. No woman had that sort of sadness when it came to kids unless she'd lost one. I breathed inwardly, scooping up a bit of the white paint with my fingers and applying it to my face.

"Please..." she said, "I've got to do this... you've got to understand."

"You trust her here? With a guy like me and the men around in some basement? Hm?" I rubbed some black over my eyes.

"You're different with kids."

"Ah, but they may not be."

"I can take them. Hell, I can take you." She laughed bitterly.

I growled, searching through my old bag and feeling my pockets.

"Where are you? Where'd you go?" I whispered. I felt something poke me and I looked up. My lipstick hung idly over my head, wrapped in her vine.

"Ah! Thanks." I pulled it out from her grip. It caressed my face before retreating back at her command. I applied it sloppily over my frozen, jagged smile.

"You go get your baby," I said simply, "but you're responsible for it."

She smiled, "We're always responsible for the things we create, Jack."

I snarled warningly. I wanted to hit her hard, but I knew as soon as I made the movement her little friend would intervene. And who knew what would happen from there, with the temper she had.

You found your match.

"Shut up." I whispered, donning my vest and tie. I picked up a can of spray dye and sloppily applied it to my hair.

I heard her leave. She sang as she walked, taunting me.

"Hit the road, JACK, and don't you come back no more no more no more no more! Hit the road, JACK. And don't you come back no more."

I screamed, enraged.

She laughed darkly, slamming the door behind her. I wanted to kill her. Wanted to wring that long, elegant neck of hers with my hands.

Oh, but you can't, Jack. You're in too deep.

"Shut the fuck up, Jeannie." I snarled to the mirror.

Admit it. You love her.

"Don't you dare say that..."

You do. You never loved me, Jack. Never talked to me. Hardly touched me. Always out with your comedian friends.

"I took care of you."

You felt obligated. I was a responsibility, nothing more. The baby was the only thing you cared for, and look where it is now.

"You shut up, Jeannie! You just shut up about things you don't know about!" I took my knife in my hands and blindly stabbed at my mattress. I tried to imagine Ivy's face, but every time I did my hand fumbled and the knife landed to a floor with a clatter.

I walked out into the office, enraged. I kicked some boxes over, slammed my fist against the wall. I proceeded out the door, slamming it as hard as I could. Hoping Ivy was gone. Because if she wasn't, I didn't know what would happen.

"GOOFY." I barked.

"Here boss." I saw him walk out of the little rec room I'd set up for the guys. He was loping toward me. Goofy was an ex-convict with a funny walk and ridiculous height. We both knew he could snap me in half if he wanted. But he'd been with me from the beginning. He had a thing out for the mob after they'd killed his family. In this way, we'd formed an unspoken bond. His mask was slightly different from the rest, and I'd never thought to kill him like I did the others. He quickly withdrew his mask from his pocket, a silly face with a tear running down it's white cheek. I turned into the weapons room, plucking up two grenades and a gun, throwing the gun to him and strapping the grenades to the inside of my coat. He pulled a pencil from his pocket.

"Flower Lady's gone." He informed me patiently as I took the pencil and slipped it into my own purple pocket.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. But uh, one of the guys whistled at her as she walked out..."

"Where is he?" I snapped.

"In the rec room."

I quickly walked into the room, rolling my neck and fidgeting with my knife. The men were standing in the center of the room, gathered around the crappy TV. Only they were staring down at the floor.

"What's going on? WELL?" I barked and they jumped and scattered like filthy cockroaches.

"H-he tried to flirt with her, boss."

"And?"

"She... she came in with those things. A-and she kissed him. Just on the cheek, you know? But he was screaming. Said it burns. She shook him and threw him to the ground."

I walked over, chuckling. They stared at me, frightened. I looked down at the nameless face, now growing cold. There was a river of red running down his nose and the smudge of red lipstick on his cheek. He was covered in poison ivy blooms.

"You don't mess with the Flower Lady." Goofy guffawed.

I laughed. I saw some of the rookies shudder, "That's right. Get rid of him." I turned, and Goofy and I walked out to a black van parked some ways off.

"You need me to go in with you, Boss?" Goofy asked as we drove.

I licked my lip, "No. Just take care of the guys in the front, wait for me. That's it."

"Cool. We... we gonna go lookin for Flower Lady when we're done, Boss?"

"No, no. She's coming back."

Goofy smiled. Or, his mask did. I couldn't tell which.

When I entered silently, they were staring at a small screen with some china man's face on it. He was telling them their money was safely tucked away somewhere.

"Ha ha ha ha, hahaha, ha, ha, ha, oh, a-hee-hee, ha ha, oh, hee hee, hee ha, ahaha," I laughed monotonously. They looked up, enraged. Obviously they watched the news, "And I thought MY jokes were bad."

A dark skinned fellow suddenly jumped up, "Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here pull your head off."

I licked my lips and tried to feign being nervous, "How abouta magic trick?" I took the newly sharpened pencil from my pocket, "I can make this pencil disappear...."

His "boy" jumped up and rushed toward me. I coolly grabbed his head and slammed it into the table, satisfied by the noise the pencil made as it gouged his eye, "

TA DAH! It... It's gone." I sat down finally, "Oh, and this suit wasn't cheap. You oughtta know, you bought it!"

The dark skinned boss, enraged, rushed toward me. But the other bosses tugged. They were getting desperate.

An Italien from across the table spoke in a heavy accent, "I want to hear proposition."

I leaned forward, gesturing as I spoke, "Let's go back a year... these.. these, uh, cops and lawyers wouldn't dare cross any of you. What happened? Your balls drop off? Hm? You see, a guy like me..."

"A freak." The dark skinned one seethed in his chair.

"...A guy like me... hey, listen. I know why you have your little "group therapy" sessions in broad daylight. I know why you can't go out at night. You see, Batman has shown your true colors, un-for-tunate-ly. As for... uh... the television's so-called plan... Batman has no jurisdiction. He'll find him and make him squeal. I know the squealers when I see them, and..." I sucked my teeth, pointed at the TV.

"And? What do you propose we do about it?"

"Simple. We uh, kill the Batman."

Laughs around the table. I scowled.

"If it's so simple, why haven't you done it already?"

I flicked my tongue out lazily, "If you're good at something, never do it for free."

"That's right. He's gotta pay for his little whore."

I twitched, "She.. She's not. Listen, if we don't do this now, little uh, Gambola? here won't have a-a nickle for his grandma."

"How much you want?"

I paused, "Ah, half."

Gambol rose again, "ENOUGH FROM THE CLOWN." He slammed his fist on the table.

"Ah tah tah tah" I opened my coat pocket, "Let's not blow this out of proportion..."

"You think you can just steal from us and walk away?"

"Yeah." I blinked

"I've had enough," Gambol shouted, "I'm putting the word out. 500 grand for the clown and his bitch dead. One mill alive--so I can teach them some manners first."

"Oh, I see. Uh, okay... why don't you guys give me a call when you wanna take things... a little more... serious-ly. Here's my card." I held up a Joker card for everyone to see, smiling inwardly at their mixed reactions: fear, humor, rage. I left it on the table, walking out as slyly as I'd come, banging backwards out of a swinging door.

"How'd it go, boss?" Goofy stood waiting for me by the van.

"They all think I'm crazy. One of them wants me and Ivy dead. What else is new?"

We climbed in and I started the car.

"If the Flower Lady were there, they woulda listened."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know." As much as I hated to admit, Ivy got things done. Ivy knew how to get a crowd's attention and she knew how to strike fear in them. I mean, stick me in a room alone with a guy and I could make him cry for mommy, but in front of a group like I was never exactly the authority.

(my jokes were bad)

I gave a disgruntled sigh and stared out the window.

Next time, Ivy would be there.