Just Paint Your Face

Daisy

I groaned. Bonked my head against the wall.

The Joker saw me as he passed and peeked in, giving me a strange and slightly amused look. He was fully suited, fully made up. He was going out for the kill. I wondered where Ivy was. I stopped bonking my head out of sheer boredom and stared at him. He fidgeted.

"Uh, ah, what's wrong?" He asked in his nerdy, amusing, dark tone.

"Nothin. That's what's wrong."

"Oh, I see. You... you're bored."

I nodded.

He sighed, puckering his lips thoughtfully.

"Hm. Uh... Ah! I'll tell you a joke." He raised up a finger triumphantly.

I looked at him quizzically.

"Let's see here... a uh, duck walks into a hardware store. He asks the cashier where he keeps the tape, yeah? And, uh, the cashier says, 'You are a duck. Your money is no good here.' And the duck walks out."

I stared. I returned to bonking my head on the wall.

"You kids. Don't even laugh at a good joke. Isn't that right, Goofy? Why isn't she laughing? Hm?"

"Musta heard it before boss."

He nodded and turned awkwardly. Before completely disappearing he said, "Go see Ivy."

I don't know what the fuck he meant, but I listened to his order and left the room. You didn't not listen. Not with the Joker. Whether he liked you or not. The only one who didn't listen on occasion was Ivy herself. By the time I got to the door to their bedroom he was out of the building. Most of the men were with him. I think Happy and Grumpy were arguing in the kitchen as they ate lunch but what do I know?

She was crying. His makeup was scattered everywhere. She was huddled on the floor. Her green eyes turned a deeper shade of emerald whenever she was crying.

Oh god.

He'd hit her.

Stabbed her.

Told her she had to go.

Something.

"Ivy...Ivy..." I rushed over, my more adult mind kicking in. I didn't like seeing her like this. She was my role model, my savior, my avenger, my mother. She shouldn't be treated in such a way, "Ivy what's wrong? It's okay. It's okay. If he told you to leave I'll go too... We could go to Mexico. Somewhere! We'll find a way..."

"No, no," She looked up at me, "it's not that..."

"What? What'd he do? Stab you? Hit you? What?"

"H-he said..."

"What?"

"He said he loves me."

I cocked my head and crossed my arms.

What the hell was wrong with this woman.

"Well, duh." I said finally, rolling my eyes.

"Oh... what do I do?"

"Love him back, stupid." I picked up some of the makeup.

"But..."

"It's a natural thing. Don't act so freaking surprised." I walked over to the mirror and stared at my haggard expression.

She sighed, running her hand through her thick blood-red locks.

"Look, I know you're mad at him for doing that out of the blue but..."

Her head perked up. I smiled.

"How about we go have some fun?"

"We need a disguise. But something more festive." I mused.

She turned and smiled.

"I think... I found something in his closet the other day..."

She turned and rustled through some other door across the room. She came out with a bowler hat. I placed it atop my shaggy hair. I looked at the makeup. Back at the mirror. Ivy was behind me. Her eyes were red and puffy but she was now smiling wickedly.

"Do it." She laughed, copying my movement and grabbing another hat from the closet, trying it on. We went nuts. We painted our faces a white color. We were better at it and it looked more professional than the Joker's. She painted peach on her lips and cheeks and I drew a black heart under her eyes. Under mine, she painted flowers.

"We look stupid." She giggled madly, donning a black sweater and pants. I wore something similar, just a bit baggy on me.

"We look like mimes." I said, "Now, let's go get some air."

I had no idea what we were doing. Happy and Grumpy hardly looked up as we rushed out of the house giggling. We were crazy. Maddened by gray walls and dirty floors. We breathed in the air when we exited one of the alleys, sighing. We walked around, joking and talking. I hadn't seen daylight fully in forever. We bathed our faces in the sun, smiling.

"Hey... Hey!" We looked up sharply and saw some cop in the distance.

"The fuzz!" I whispered.

"Shit. Shit..." Ivy hissed. It was too late. We were done. I shouldn't have done this. Why had I come up with this again? Hell if I knew. We dare not make a sudden move as he reached us, calling to some other guys across the street sitting on a bench.

"Hey... Johnny! Peterson! Street performers! C'mere." The cop, who we figured was off duty, panted. He was fat.

Ivy and I stared at each other.

The three men stared back.

"Oh... uh... yeah! Yeah!" We said in unison.

The men stood back on the sidewalk. Ivy stared worriedly. They looked upon us expectantly. I knew if we didn't act fast, we were over. I did the first thing that ran through my mind. I jumped up on a park bench and jumped around. I sang a stupid little children's rhyme.

Ivy was beside me, throwing multicolored petals in the air that seemed to come out from her sleeves like magic. She produced bouquets for the men, smiling and gesturing wildly like a mime. I'd never seen cops in Gotham smile so wide about anything, except maybe The Batman. When I was done, I hopped down, bowing deeply with Ivy at my side. We smiled and they gave us some change.

Inside, my mind was racing, running, panicking. Sweat dripping into my eyes. The piggies were a breathe away, and I was a fugitive standing next to a murderess. It was then I realized how blind this world really was. Everyone was blind. So dangerously blind. The Joker could've stood up her with us and they might've thought it was all part of the show.

All part of the plan.

One of the cops commented to Ivy how cute I was.

Then he squinted, suspicion written clear all over his face.

She smiled and then nudged me quickly. We ran.

We threw the change to a little boy we passed.

I knew he would just buy candy with it. Like the hobos who bought liquor.

We never grew up. The things we did warped over time only slightly.

We got home feeling strangely rushed and alive. We were happy. We washed our faces and dressed normally, returning things as if they never happened. We didn't know why we'd gone out there. We'd risked everything. We could've been caught. I suppose we just needed to vent and get out without having to wear sunglasses and a cap.

When the Joker came back, we were eating dinner. His hands were covered in blood. He didn't even look at us as he passed, rushing to his room. We heard water running for a long time. When he entered the TV room, his hair was wet and he smelled slightly less gasoline-y. He sat on the couch between us.

"Uh, all my black makeup's gone. You know anything about that, Ivy?"

"Sh, sh, sh, news is on."

He groaned.

"Tonight: Poison Ivy and what we believe to be her hostage, Jeannie Gimble spotted on the streets today by authorities, midday. No sign of the Joker. Authorities have tightened their search for the three, whom they believe to be working together."

The Joker and the rest of the men gawked.

"You... you...?"

"It was my idea." I said suddenly, "We needed air."

"Could've led them right to us." The Joker crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh shut up." Ivy said, "They would've gotten us a long time ago, with the shit you pull."

"I don't leave petals and footsteps everywhere."

"It won't lead back to us. We took the long route home."

He scoffed, "Yeah yeah. While you guys were out playing dress up, I was wiping out Dent's little judge."

Ivy suddenly looked very distant, like she was remembering something that she'd been trying too hard to forget. She got up suddenly and left the room. The Joker snickered.

"Her and her little ex boss... oh ho ho..."

"Hm?" I perked up.

"Harvey Dent. She was his secretary. And his little bunny. Her best friend... but not for long."

"What...?"

"You'll see, kid. You'll see."

I shrugged, turning back to the TV and cocking my head, just as he did.