Just Paint Your Face

The Joker

I was dreaming again.

But Jeannie wasn't there. It was just me. And things weren't as warped or crazy as they always were in my dreams.

I was reliving a moment, I could tell. Usually the past was something like a ball and chain, I'd take it off my shoulders as quick as I could. But when a stray memory returned, oh, it was sharp as a tack, painful as a prick to the finger.

It was night. The streets were wet and shiny with a drizzling rain, as usual. I'd just gotten back from picking up some new recruits that day, so my face was covered in make up. I ran my hands over it, knowing it was smudging. My hair kept clinging to my face so I shook my head. The heavy smell of damp garbage and who knows what else shrouded my nose as the bulky metal dumpster hid me. No muggers out tonight.

I'd scared them away with laughter.

The nights when I came crawling up out of my hole, there were hardly any muggers. Oh, and when The Batman was running around. This disappointed me. No stress relief kills on those nights. That's all I had at the time. Blood and the hunt of The Batman.

But once I saw her, I couldn't think clearly anymore.

Wait. Think clearly?

I think I giggled in my sleep.

I'd been falling for her longer than she thought. Longer ago than anyone thought. I didn't realize it then, didn't want to admit it. But I knew that now.

"May!" A voice chuckled in the distance, "Hurry up! We're almost there!"

I frowned slightly. Wasn't her. The footsteps weren't hers, the voice wasn't hers. And that was all I had to go on so far. I perked up, fumbling and knocking something over.

"Keep your shirt on, Ray, the night's young. Where are we running off to tonight?"

So her name was May. And she was Dent's little baby's friend. Perfect.

"This new club on sixth street," I listened to the bitch speak, "There's a fellow I work with that saw a picture of you and wanted us to meet him there..."

Something white hot burned in me at that moment. Didn't even know why, didn't even know what he looked like. But I knew immediately I wanted to slice him up into little tiny pieces and spit on them. I fought back a giggle.

"And you're going to take me to meet this random creep?" I heard her heels tapping on the ground impatiently as she laughed brightly. I fiddled with my fingernails, hardly noticing the black cat that nuzzled up to me until it was too late.

Fuck.

I'd always been allergic to the damn things.

My nose wrinkled. I nudged the cat away and it zipped off as my breath hitched and I let out a loud sneeze.

I could practically feel her eyes boring in the direction of the dumpster.

"Just a cat." I heard her friend say.

"No, no." May insisted, "I heard a sneeze." I listened, frozen, as her little heels clacked on the ground towards me. I didn't want her to find me out just yet. Goddammit. I wanted her to find out about me on my time, by my rules.

"May, what if it's a mugger?" I heard her friend cry out nervously. I smirked.

"Oh no!" May said sarcastically, "Poor little old me! Don't touch me, Mr. Mugger!"

I could hear her walking in my direction.

Curiosity killed the darn cat.

Isn't that what Goofy said to me before I'd walked out?

She stopped inches away, sniffing. I couldn't help but glance over, and it took every ounce of control I had (which was very little) to keep from laughing and reaching out to scare her.

"Ugh. Smells gross back here. Gasoline or something..."

"Probably some hobo, May. Let's go. Night out? Remember?"

I heard her sigh and licked my lip, tasting rain.

"Okay."

I faded into other memories. The first time I took her to bed, the robbery the next morning, watching her choke on venomous fumes. Giggling as I punched the needle violently into her arm.

The girl. How frightened she'd looked, staring up at me with her mocking painted face and bright green hair. How Ivy had walked down the hall with a gun in her hand, looking ten times more beautiful and dangerous than I'd ever imagined. It'd been too long since I'd shown interest in women. Sure, they were interesting characters some of them. But not enough until she came along. With her bright eyes and crazy hair.

I changed her and..

She changed things. Forever.

I woke up groggy and in a daze, as I usually did.

Mornings suck, no matter what anyone says about that watching the sun rise bullshit.

Daisy

I sat right outside the doorway of the TV room, frozen. The Joker was still asleep (he'd been asleep all day and all night), and Ivy had just woken up. She was in the kitchen making breakfast for me. I hated when she made breakfast because she never made any bacon. Silly vegetarians. Why was she a vegetarian anyway? Weird.

Though I was one to talk about weird.

I blew a strand of red hair that hung in my face. My head wound was almost completely healed and I no longer wore the bandages. The meds had warded off infection and all I was left with was a limp tongue and a little twitch here and there. Oh, and a scar that was shaped weird. That was all.

Goofy, Happy, and Grumpy were talking in low voices, which was why I hid now.

"If she'd a known that was his original plan..."

"Who cares? The fact that the mob got a hold of it means we got a traitor on our hands..."

"Well, dur. But who? The new ones don't know nothin, and you and I's always together."

I could practically hear their heads twisting over in Happy's direction. The silence was raw, tense. Like an animal ready to pounce.

I jumped at the sound of Grumpy getting up violently, as Goofy held him back.

"Let me at him, Charlie! This ungrateful little brat. He almost killed the Flower Lady! And he got you off that poison, boy. You realize what you done?"

I heard Happy hiss lowly and cringed. It was so unlike his bright, cheerful voice, "And do you realize what she would've done to him if he'd gone through with it himself?"

"But you don't mess with the Boss's plans!"

"The Boss doesn't plan. The mob does."

"If he finds out you went to them..."

"Who cares! I die?" I heard Happy chuckle, "If things would've gone "according to plan" he would be dead, she would've killed herself, and then what would happen to the girl?"

Silence.

"So that's what this is all about. The girl." I could hear Goofy let Grumpy go and they slumped back onto the couch.

"What? You guys care about her too."

"But we care cause we had our kids once," Goofy insisted, "You... you ain't never care about nothing but the drugs, Ma--"

"Don't. Call me by my real name."

I left then, having enough with the conversation. I walked towards the kitchen, where Ivy was singing. The Joker walked out the door, scratching his head.

"He lifts me up to the sky to watch me fall to the ground... then he wheels me in easy, he says we never gonna part. My man is a mean man. My man is a mean man..."

He smirked and ruffled my hair as we stood in the doorway. She looked up then, smiling. That flower was still in her hair.

"Good morning, sleepy heads." She chirped. The Joker tugged her hair and winked in reply. We were happy again in the kitchen. Ivy told him the city thought we were dead and he laughed. We all did. What a silly notion. He asked me if I'd been reading and I nodded.

Happy would read with me sometimes. His father was a history professor, he told me. Liked Victor Hugo's works a lot. That was probably the only thing I knew about him. But it didn't matter. Here, you didn't need to know everything to feel like a brotherhood. It just was.

There was some yuppie on the morning show. Everyone seemed all happy and bright because The Joker and Ivy hadn't been seen in days and the blood found by the police station pointed to suicide. Now everyone was buzzing about this mousy little guy. We entered the room full of men and listened.

"We're with a fellow today that claims to know Batman's identity..."

The tag at the bottom read Coleman Reese.

The Joker straightened suddenly.

"I want my phone call."

Grumpy procured a blue cell phone from his pocket and threw it to the Joker. He caught it, fumbling for a second, dialing a number quickly. I wondered how he knew all those random numbers. Must've been a talent he had.

"Oh. Someone's calling in!" The newscaster said brightly, "You're on Gotham's Morning Chat!"

The shift in their faces made me want to laugh as The Joker's whiny yet authoritative voice sounded:

"I had a vision of a world without Batman. The mob ground out their little profit, and the police tried to shut them down one block at a time. And it was so…boring. I've had a, uh, change of heart. I don't want Mr. Reese spoiling everything, but why should we have all the fun? Let's give someone else a chance. If Coleman Reese isn't dead in sixty minutes, then... how about.. I blow up a hospital. Hm?"

He cackled and hung up. I jumped up and down. Another job!

He shook his head and I slumped.

"Me and Ivy got a friend to visit. You haven't even eaten." He wagged a finger at me, as if he was some caring person. In his own way, he was. But it was unusual when he voiced it,

"C'mon Ivy, let's go play... dress up."

She stared at him strangely.

"Come on, come on!" He clapped his hands, tripping as he turned. He got up as awkwardly as he went down, shaking himself like a dog. Ivy followed him gracefully, clinging to the flower in her hair.

And just like that, the madness switched into the on position.