Just Paint Your Face

"Why do you get to be the nurse?"

"Don't want you grabbing too much attention, with those legs of yours."

I scoffed, looking at his white nurse uniform with pink trim. I didn't want to think about he'd gotten it. I pulled at the policeman's jacket I wore. My hair was forced under my hat and his was covered in this ridiculously stupid dark wig. I didn't know why he bothered, he'd put on his makeup and everything and yet he was trying to disguise himself. I climbed into the yellow school bus he'd hidden away and he clambered behind me.

Me grabbing attention? Like they wouldn't notice a very masculine looking woman whose legs hadn't even seen a razor, who just happened to be wearing clown makeup?

Puh-lease.

I rolled my eyes, deciding not to object.

"Here, you take the gun... and I'll take the uh... baby."

He'd wrapped a bomb up in a pink blanket. I couldn't help but giggle as he cradled it in his awkward arms, cooing in his madness. Grumpy drove us on in the direction of Gotham General. Any innocent passerby would think we were on our way to help evacuate, not blow the place to a smoldering pit. The bus ride brought along another bout of my car sickness, and with it came uneasy thoughts.

We were going to visit Dent. Rachel was dead and he'd want to kill us. We were going to blow up a hospital. Filled with innocent people. Filled with children. Children with bandages wrapped tightly around their heads...

"Jack, the kids..." I could hear myself say aloud.

"May," he snapped testily, "They'll get them out first. Sh, sh, sh."

I sighed, staring at the gun uncomfortably. I didn't know if he was trying to comfort the stupid bomb in his lap or me, but it did nothing for my nerves. What if they didn't act fast enough? This city was filled with idiocracy. But he didn't care. It was all out of sight, out of mind to him.

And he was most certainly out of his mind. I knew that better than anyone else. I looked over at him, where he slouched in his seat, hand curled around the crudely made detonator and arm cradling his creation. He hummed a nameless tune.

When I was little, I always thought I'd be like the Little Mermaid. Find my prince one day, find my legs and swim hurriedly away from it all. Sit on a rock and sing all day long with jamacian crabs and cowardly fish about being a human, a person. But now, looking upon the man dressed up as a nurse, with a vine stuck as part of my blood driving off to place where only bad could happen, I knew better.

I noticed the bright sticker on his little nurse vest.

I BELIEVE IN HARVEY DENT.

This was my partner, my ...friend. The man who loved me. A man who laughed at suffering and killed for giggles. The Ace of Knives, The Clown of Chaos. A funny man who only wanted to listen to the world scream as it ate itself alive.

She's in there. Dig her out! Oh, but it's too late...

"May."

I blinked. He was suddenly beside me. God, the man was fast.

"You alright?" He smacked his lips, "You look a little.. uh... scatter-brained."

"I'm looking scatter-brained?"

He simply shrugged, pulling out a surgical mask from his little apron. He messed with the old red wig on his head and blinked his black-rimmed eyes lazily. His bare hand suddenly rested on the back of my neck and I shivered. I still had this primal fear he was going choke me sometimes.

Don't move, or I'll break you...

But he didn't move. He sat, frozen like statue. A statue made of something twisted and horribly disfigured, but undeniably beautiful.

The bus braked sharply and we were jolted forward. In my shock, I fell into his lap. He giggled madly and got up, shoving me violently, the bomb cradled in his one arm.

"Maybe later. Hee hee."

I gave him a look of disgust, shaking my head. He the rudest, most perverse, inconsiderate hell-raiser of a man I'd ever met.

And I loved him.

Boy, I really was scatter-brained.

Daisy

"This stone is entirely blank. The only thought in cutting it was of the essentials of the grave, and there was no other care than to make this stone long enough and narrow enough to cover a man.

No name can be read there.

He sleeps. Although his fate was very strange,
He lived. He died when he had no longer his angel.
The thing came to pass simply,
Of itself, as the night comes when day is gone."

Happy put the book down and I sniffled. He smiled at me, his clear eyes filled with understanding.

"I didn't see it before. But now I get it."

I cocked my head at him, rubbing my eyes.

"Jack is Jean Valjean. Ivy, Fantine."

I nodded.

"And you... Cosette."

I nodded again, smiling.

He sighed, "And I..." I looked at his face expectantly, but he didn't finish the sentence, only rubbed his face with his hands. He shifted awkwardly in his cast.

"How old are you?"

I stared at him. What a strange question. I held up ten fingers, followed by six.

I knew his age. It could be no more than eighteen, I believe. He simply nodded, staring up at the network of daisies on my wall.

I could hear Goofy laughing in the distance. Grumpy was gone to take Ivy and The Joker off to their little mission, so he just watched TV or something. I figured they'd be back in an hour, no worries. Happy and I entertained ourselves by reading and playing dumb games. It was nice, having someone close to my own age to talk to.

Well, sort of.

"So... you..."

I mimed a shushing noise, straightening up.

Barking. Dogs barking.

It didn't make sense. The Joker didn't keep animals and Ivy didn't either. Why...?

See how loyal a hungry dog really is.

The money. They were mad at him about burning the damn money.

"Wha...?" Happy's eyebrows snapped together as he registered the sounds I heard first. I heard Goofy scream suddenly from outside the door and jumped up in alarm. More men screaming. But no sounds of struggles, no gunshots. What was making them scream?

Happy cursed, looking down at the useless weight on his leg.

"You go hide behind the stereo," He said quickly, pulling a gun out from his pocket, "I'll try and ward them..."

I wouldn't have it. I wouldn't stay on the sidelines and listen to anymore screaming. Before he could object, I hoisted him up, supporting him with my shoulder. He wasn't nearly as broad as Grumpy or as tall and skinny like Goofy, so I could handle the weight. I felt like we were about to start a three-legged race.

"Alright then.." He sighed, "I'll be the ammo, and you be the leg."

We looked at each other nervously and I reached for the door. There was no denying we were screwed, but we were going to do something about it.

Ivy

And there he lay. Gotham's White Knight, the real Hero. He was dozing lazily and hadn't woken up when we entered his room. Getting up to his room was easy through the running and the screaming and the hazy fog of confusion that surrounded good judgment and common sense. The Joker planted the bomb while I checked the records and found my old boss's room.

Tick, tick, tick. The clock whirled around and did its little dance with nature.

I hardly even recognized him behind the large clipboard he held. What gave him away in that instant was his nails. They were always sloppy and his hands were covered in little white specks from his makeup. He took the gun from my hand slyly as the ivy in my arm writhed. Someone was coming.

The Joker seemed to not notice.

"Ma'am, we gotta get him out---"

He turned apathetically, pumping a straight bullet dead into the man's chest. He fell to the floor with a dull thud and Harvey's eyes blinked slowly open.

There was a moment where he stared into my face with a hint of sadness and shock, then rage clouded it all as The Joker approached, singing monotonously. The bed shook violently as he tried desperately to free himself and attack us. The Joker was unphased, adjusting the bed.

"La de dah de dah de daaah de dumm..."

I stood at the other side of the bed, frozen, staring at the half of face of the man who I'd once found attractive, now just a ruined, charred landscape of flesh. He didn't really notice me as The Joker plopped himself into a chair beside his bed, sighing and trying his best to affect an empathetic tone.

"Hiiiii." He smiled his yellow grin. I took off my hat, letting my hair wave freely and The Joker threw his wig off to the side, messing up his greasy hair again.

"You know... I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us, Harvey. When you and... uh, Ra, Rah-"

"RACHEL!!" I heard us both scream at the same time. Harvey looked over at me suddenly, oddly. I realized he didn't want me. He thought it was The Joker. He still was stuck on the idea that I was just his brainless little victim.

He jumped, "While you were being abducted, I... I was sitting in Gordon's little cage. Now uh.. I-I didn't rig those charges."

"Your men. Your plan." Harvey sneered bitterly.

"Do I look like a guy with a plan? Listen. You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just do things. The mob has plans. Gordon's got plans. They... they're just schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I try to show them how pathetic they really are. So... so, hey c'mere... when I say that you and your little girlfriend was nothing personal, I mean it."

He was looking at me as he said it. I blinked, confused. He then began unstrapping Harvey's wrists.

What was he, stupid? Harvey was stronger. He wanted to kill him.

"Look what I did to this town with just a few bullets, some gasoline, and a little..uh, science experiment, hm?" Harvey was unstrapped and they struggled for a few moments as I stood, fingering the orchid in my pocket possessively, calming myself as he talked down about me, about my dead friend. He'd managed to overpower Harvey, jumping over him and clasping his wrists together in his dirty hands, "I just did what I do best. Took the little plan and turned it around on its head. And.. you-you know what I noticed?"

Harvey stared at him with pure fury burning into his blue eyes.

"Nobody panics when things go "according to plan"… even if the plan is horrifying. If tomorrow I told the press that, like, a gang-banger will get shot, or a truck load of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all part of the plan. But when I say that one little old mayor will die… …well, then everyone loses their minds!"

I jumped as his voice shifted from calm to chaotically insane. He pulled out a small revolver then, waving it around and pointing it between the three of us.

"Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, then everything becomes…chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos?"

"It's fair." I heard myself say.

The Joker nodded. Harvey pulled out a quarter, his lucky quarter. Rachel'd told me stories about it. About how he'd even decided to ask her out because of it.

And now, now look what he was doing.

"Heads... you and your woman live..."

"Mhm..."

His woman. I scoffed.

"Tails, you die."

"Now we're talking."

A flip of the coin. Heads.

The Joker hopped away.

"Five minutes." He called as he left the room.

The tension between us stood solid and heavy. It could've been another person. The sun shone ironically through the blinds of his plain window.

Harvey broke the silence.

"She was going to marry me. She said so. Right before..."

"I know." I said quietly.

"How would you know? How? You were there with him the whole GODDAMN TIME AND YOU COULDN'T STOP TO THINK ABOUT HER FOR ONE SECOND!"

I slapped the clean side of his face quickly, before I could think. I instantly regretted it but couldn't take it back. I sighed, reaching into my pocket.

"Here." I laid the orchid bloom in his hand. He stared at it, stared at me.

"What...?"

"Rachel gave it to me."

"But... how did you... how did you know?"

I blinked, "What do you mean?"

"I gave an orchid to her. On our first date."

I bit my lip, feeling chills.

Silence settled again.

"It was him. At the ballet."

I nodded. He nodded.

"Makes so much sense now..."

"THREE MINUTES."

I sighed.

"Harvey..."

"It's not Harvey anymore. Two-Face. Call me Two-Face."

He clutched the gun in one hand, the flower and coin in the other. I nodded. Every new villain needed a new name.

"Two-face..." I said, "time for us to go our separate ways."

He nodded solemnly, getting up weakly. I tried to help him but he waved me off violently, so I slinked over to the door.

"Ivy..." I heard him say, "Why?"

I sighed, so tired of this question, "Because."

I don't know where Harvey went, but we allowed him time to make it out. All I know is, once I walked out of that door The Joker took me by the hand and we walked casually down the hall, with him holding up his little detonator

"Pow."

as a loud crash sounded behind our steps.

He skipped outside merrily and paused, turning around.

"What's wrong?" I asked. The explosion wasn't nearly as impressive as I'd hoped.

He threw up his hands in that awkward way as if to say, "What the fuck happened to my 'splosion?" With the same awkward carefree movement he banged the little remote against the palm of him hand...

BANG BOOM CRASH

a sound like thunder and he dropped the remote, grabbing painfully at my arm and pulling me into the bus.

"Take us home!" He cackled brightly and we sped off, leaving a crumbling hospital behind us.

Daisy

"Well, well, well. So this is the famous Jeannie Gimble. Joker and Ivy spawn."

Happy had run out of ammo. We had no other options. We stood headstrong up against a cowardly looking yuppie-boy. He was very business like with his little tie and brown suit. The only change was the ratty old looking bag on his head.

Geez, even the Joker's make up bag had seen better days.

His voice was hoarse and it made me want to laugh. I could beat this guy no problem, all it took, according to Ivy, was a swift kick between the legs.

I drew back, biting my lip, ready to strike. But he sprayed something in Happy's face and he suddenly slackened, screaming, causing me to slip and fall over. I crawled away, knowing that if I stayed near Happy a second longer, I was as good as dead. I remembered that The Joker kept his weapons locked in his office now. I crawled over to the back door, my shoulder sore and my legs shaky, tired.

"Come back, little girl, I just want to see what you're afraid of..."

The key was in his desk... somewhere. I grabbed desperately at the top of it and only came up with a case of his lipstick.

if I could just reach...

I let out a silent cry of pain as the creepy yuppie grabbed hold of my red hair. Everything went hazy for a moment as I struggled to get away and he sprayed some shit-smelling medicinal stuff into my face.

I opened my eyes, and he was my father. Warped, disgusting, filling my heart with the black poison known as panic.

"C'mere, Jeannie, gimmee a hug...."

I felt that familiar feeling again, that feeling of the walls closing in on me and the whole world out against me, bringing me down. Spiraling, deeper into madness.

I could only scream silently as I scribbled at the floor quickly with the lipstick in my hand.

Ivy

"I hope she ate something healthy." I muttered to myself as we reached the warehouse.

"She didn't." The Joker shrugged.

"Did I leave the oven on?" Grumpy muttered.

We were happy again. Harvey could have his personal little vendetta. My part with him was over for now. I knew somehow I needed to show him the flower, even if it made him feel worse. I needed to show him I still understood, maybe then he would realize why I'd let myself get in the spot I was in.

Love.

Simple as that.

We walked down the stairs with Grumpy ahead. He was whistling and I was humming. A small square of light illuminated the stairway as we saw Grumpy enter the basement.

"Holy...."

I squinted from behind his frozen position, "What's wrong?"

"You gotta come see for yourself."

The Joker pushed us out of the way, his body suddenly tense and serious.

"DAISY." He barked, "HAPPY. GOOFY."

Grumpy suddenly looked worried. They were best friends. Who wouldn't be?

No sound. No running footsteps. My heart raced suddenly and I flew down the hall. Her room was seemingly unharmed. Nothing was really out of the ordinary except for a few men that were shot along with some dog, and a gun lying innocently in the middle of the hallway.

Until I saw the red on the door to the office. The Joker got there first, taking some of the smeared mess off with a finger and tasting it.

"Lipstick." He sighed, but not quite relieved yet. He swept into the room and I followed, with Grumpy behind us.

Again, everything seemingly in its place. Except. Just that one terrible tiny word.

Except.

The message scratched almost illegibly on the floor.

dad took me away. us away. calling jean valjean and fantine. help!

-cosette and marius

p.s. DERACS. SCARED. DERACS. SCARED.

"Scarecrow." I heard The Joker whisper.

Scarecrow? That old villain that batman found in less last year?

But apparently failed to keep contained...

"SCARECROW!" He screamed, rushing violently into his room and knocking stuff over. I knew he was changing. I shed off my uniform for the clothes I already wore underneath and he appeared quicker than I could breath a second later.

"He wants to play... I'll show him what happens when he wants us to play."