A Handful of Moments, I Wished I Could Change

I rolled over in bed, my eyes still sealed shut.
"Shit!" I heard someone curse, and small thumping sound. I groaned as I reluctantly opened my eyes.
Alex was hastily rushing around his room in nothing but his boxers and a T-shirt, his hair wet. I slowly sat up, and looked at him. His head snapped up, his brown eyes staring into mine. He slowly walked over and took a seat beside me on the bed.

"Did I really call you, and end up crying last night?" He asked, running his fingers through his hair. "Yeah.." I said quietly. He simply nodded, looking down at the blankets covering my legs. "Alex... If you remember the conversation then can we continue it now that you are sober?" I asked him hopefully. He raised his head to look at me, trying to read my face. "How are you not mad at me? I was an asshole the other night.." He said, taking my hand in his.
"We were both pretty stupid Alex." I told him a small, humorless laugh escaping my lips. He nodded. I could tell he was thinking of what to say. "I'm sorry that everything came out the way it did last night" he told me rubbing circles in my hand with this thumb. "That's what we need to talk about.." I trailed off taking a deep breath, folding my legs in a pretzel before continuing. "Alex, I know this isn't the ideal situation and it's going to be hard. You are going to have to still tour, write,and do interviews. It's going to hard to find time, but I am willing to make this work if you are. This, this baby whoever they will be, will love you no matter what Alex. You are going to be an amazing father. Yes, we will probably fight, and not always see eye to eye, and I may get frustrated and mad when you have to leave and I'm left with the baby but that doesn't change the fact that you are my best friend, I love you, and we are in this together" I told him. He smiled, his eyes watery.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug. "You are the best girl out there Ari" I began to smile to myself as we pulled away. "One more thing though. Did you mean it when you said you loved me?" I asked quietly, analyzing the emotion in his eyes. He bit his lip and nodded unsure of how I would react. "I did, I do... I love you more than you could ever know Ariana. This baby, you, you guys are my life now and I want nothing more than to be here, be a family with you. I also meant it when I said you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I really love you" He told me. I smiled and tears began to spill down my face. I pulled him close, and crashed his lips onto mine. I kissed him with such a passion knowing he meant every word of it. I pulled away resting my head against his. "I love you too" I told him giggling. He let out a huge sigh of relief. "So are you mine now?" He asked. I bit my lip and nodded. He quickly pecked my lips. "I hate to ruin this moment hun, but I need to get to the airport soon." He reminded me. A frown came across my face, but I nodded getting out of bed.
I went to his closet, taking out a pair of jeans lifting them to my waist for measure. I stripped out of my pajamas, sliding the jeans on. They would normally be way too big, but they buttoned with ease, and fit to a T, due to my growing baby belly. I slid on one of his many glamour kills shirts, and walked back into the room. I watched in the door frame as Alex made sure all his bags were there, and his carry on stuff was ready. I walked up behind him, and wrapped my arms around his frame. He turned around to hug me back. His lips pressed to the top of my head. "We better get to the airport" He told me, letting go, and grabbing a bag to start lugging them to the car.

"Congratulations guys. On everything" Flyzik said hugging me as we approached the guys, hand in hand, in the airport. "Thanks Matt" I told him sitting next to Rian. He smiled over at me. "How's baby Gaskarth?" He asked lightly, pointing to my growing stomach. I rubbed my belly. "Good, growing fast. I'm so not ready for this Ri" I told him. "I don't think anyone ever is Ar, but you just have to deal with life as it comes I guess, which definitely can suck sometimes don't get me wrong, but everything happens for a reason right?" He explained. I smiled at him. "You're a good friend Rian. And yeah things happen for a reason, but do you think Alex can really be a father? Not only maturity wise, but being gone all the time. I know I should trust him to make the right decisions, but his track history isn't exactly great. Keep an eye on him for me Ri" I said looking over at Alex, who was dancing around with Jack to Call Me Maybe. "None of those other girls were his best friend, or the mother of his child" Rian told me, ruffling my hair. "But if it makes you feel better, I will keep an eye on him for you." Rian told me, smiling. I nodded and hugged him. "Thanks." I mumbled into his chest. "Anytime hun" He told me. I smiled sadly as I observed all of my friends around me. They had been home such a short amount of time, and were leaving me again. "Cheer up Ar" Grieco told me, giving me one of his cheesy smiles, "We'll be home before you know it" he added. I nodded, and stood to see all the boys off. There was only a few minutes before they had to head to the plane. I hugged each crew member, wishing them good luck before moving on to my best friends. I started with Zack first. "Take care of them for me okay?" I asked hugging him tightly. He chuckled and nodded. "Of course Ari." He kissed my forehead and pulled away. I sadly smiled and moved on to Jack. "Jackie.." I whimpered, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face into his neck. "We'll be back before you know it peanut. Funny, my peanut has a little peanut now" I giggled as I pulled away, wiping a few tears away from my checks. "Be good! Don't get arrested or any girls knocked up" I scolded him playful. A goofy grin appeared on his face, and his eyes shone brightly. "I can't make any promises. Take care of yourself, and mini Alex" He kissed my check, and squeezed my hand before letting me move on. "Rian Dawson, you take care of yourself out on tour alright?" He hugged me and rubbed my back soothingly. "Don't let Alex get into any trouble out there. And keep in touch" I told him. "Always." he simply said before waving goodbye.
I took a deep breathe and a lump formed in my throat. I chocked back a sob, and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, crying into his neck. "Shhh. Ariana don't make this any harder than this already is. I'm sorry I have to leave baby" He cooed in my ear. I nodded. "I"m sorry." I whispered. He chuckled. "Don't be, I just hate seeing you cry. I'm sorry we just fixed things and I'm leaving. I'll call and text you, and we can skype or facetime every single night. I love you." He leaned down and placed his lips upon mine. Our lips molded together, fiercely moving, afraid of being separated for so long. I slowly pulled away, only to quickly kiss him a few more times. "I'm going to miss you" I whispered softly. He looked sadly into my eyes and nodded. "I know, I'll miss you too. But we'll be okay. We've been apart during tours before. We can do this" he reminded me. I smiled. "Don't forget about me on tour" I kidded. He shook his head. "Never. I love you Ariana Noel Rivers." He told me, smiling. "I love you too Alexander William Gaskarth" He kissed me one last time, before getting on his knees, and rubbing my stomach. I placed a hand over my eyes, laughing. "Hey peanut. I'm going to be gone for a little bit, and I'll miss you and mommy very much." He cooed, before placing a sweet peck to my covered baby bump. I giggled as he stood up. "See you later Lex" I smiled to him. "See you later Ari" He said sweetly before walking away with the rest of his friends to catch a plane.

He would be gone for only a month but time seemed to love slowly when he was gone. I couldn't wait for him to be back home with me. I hope tour went well, and when he got home we could properly start this relationship and prepare for our baby.