Trashed & Scattered

"Hey girl, you ready to go?" Val was standing in the doorway of my hospital room as I slid on my shoes. Her face held a look of worry and sadness. I'm tired of it already.

"Yea just gotta grab my bag." I bit the inside of my cheek as I stood from the bed, heaving the black duffel bag up and onto my left shoulder. It had only been two days and I was more than happy to be leaving the place.

I didn't bother starting a conversation as I followed her from the room, already having double checked the room to make sure I didn't leave anything behind. Everyone was still upset about the whole situation. Brian had yet to talk to me after his temper tantrum.

Not that I would consider it a bad thing. It would make leaving so much easier when the time came. 

I could tell by the way Val kept glancing at me that she wanted to say something. It's not like I could stop her anyways.

"He'll come around Skylar. He's just upset and worried." She had a small smile on her face, attempting to make the conversation less serious.

"There's nothing for him to be worried about. But he has his right to his own opinion I guess. He can hate me all he wants. It still doesn't change the fact that it was my secret to keep if I wanted." I knew the last statement had upset her a little, but it was true. Though I had already forgiven her for telling it. 

"He doesn't hate you Skye, he just doesn't know how to act right now." She had now stopped at the elevator door, hitting the down arrow.

I let out a frustrated sigh, this topic was getting tiring already.

"That's the problem Val. I don't want anybody acting any differently. There's no reason to treat me like some kind of porcelain doll. I'm fine."

I was met with silence as she stared at me. The only noise being the bell that dinged signaling the arrival of our elevator. We stepped inside silently and waited to reach the 1st floor. I hated the tension that now stood between us. But at the same time I could feel the relief that the conversation had been halted.

When the elevator finally stopped we quickly made our way outside and into the fresh morning air. 

"So what do you want to do today? We have a few hours to spare before we leave for the next venue." A smile had finally appeared on her face as she considered our options. 

"I guess we can browse for a while?" The giddiness that overtook her body let me know she was happy with my decision. 

"Ok we just have to make a quick stop at the bus to drop your stuff of then we'll hit the town." 

I nodded in agreement as we waited for a taxi. 

I bit my lip as the lyrics to 'Mouth for War' by Pantara came blasting from my phone the minute we slipped into the cab. I took a deep breathe before hitting the send button and placing the phone to my ear.

"Hey man."

"Dot you 'man' me. What the hell were you thinking?! Skipping appointments?! Not taking your medication?! What the hell Skylar?!" I couldn't help but chuckle quietly at my friends ranting.

"You'd think I were dying or something. Dang Joe, calm your tits. I'm fine now." I rolled my eyes at the noises she was making in the background. 

"Thor is going to kill you." She had finally calmed a little but I knew next time I saw her she wouldn't let it go that easily.

"Tell the old man not to have a conniption. I'm alive and breathing. In a few months I'll be home and right back at work."

I sighed at the last statement. Things would be a lot more complicated in a few months. 

The laugh at the other end of the phone brought a tiny smile to my face. 

"I miss you darling." My fingers were absentmindedly tracing patterns into the leather seats of the cab as I spoke.

"I miss you too babe. It's so boring without you here. The apartment is so quiet without your loud and obnoxious voice singing.

I chuckled as I recalled the many times she had joined in. She really was my other half. She was the only one who understood me and was there when I needed her. 

I was so used to people using me and leaving me. I don't think I could survive without her.

"Well I have to get back to work. I'll probably call again later. If not I'll just text you or something. I love you darling. Forever and Always."

"Forever and always darling. Bye."

By the time I got the phone shoved back in my pocket we were already at the bus. I quickly hopped out after taking a deep breath and hauled my bag to the bus. I could hear the voices of the band from outside.

I kept my eyes from wandering as I rushed through and passed them to get to the bunks. They all went silent as I passed. Apparently things were still awkward. They just need to get over it.

After tossing my bag down I quickly turned and was about to head back out when I ran into someone. I would have fallen had their hands not wrapped themselves around my arms. I tightened my hands into fists and stepped back as my eyes connected with Brian's.

It was a struggle for me not to run from him. I don't do well in tense situations. And I was under enough stress as it was.

"Excuse me." My voice was barely above a whisper as I tried to step around him. Unfortunately he placed his hand on my shoulder and blocked my path.

"Skylar...can uh..can we talk? Please?" His voice wavered a bit and he sounded really nervous. I glanced past him looking for Val but she was seated on Matt's lap laughing along to something Johnny said. There was no getting out of this.

I sighed and nodded my head before he slipped his hand into mine and led me to the back room.

He shut the door behind us quietly, thus blocking my view of my escape route, before sitting bye on the bed.

The silence surrounding us was unnerving. Was he just going to insult me again? Moments passed and I continued to grow more anxious as he remained silent. His hands shifting their position and rubbing up and down his legs as if he were cold. I nearly jumped as he quickly began pacing the length of the bed we were sitting on.

He still remained silent.

I heard a loud breath escape his lips as he turned to face me, his hand running through his hair. I bit my lip and dug my nails into my arm as he continued to stare me down.

Unnerving was an understatement.

"I'm sorry." His arms fell down to his side as when he finally spoke. And when he did I began wishing with all my might he would take it back.

"I know I was an ass back at the hospital. I had no right to say those things to you. I talked to Joelle and she explained to me why you keep it such a secret. I'm sorry for how I reacted. And for what I said. I'm just really sorry. Please forgive me? I don't want you to hate me...I want to be there for you."

With each word he spoke my heart broke a little more. I never realized how much I was actually starting to like him. And it was only going to hurt that much more when I had to leave. 

Before I knew what was happening he ran his thumb across my cheek, wiping away my slowly falling tears. I hated feeling so weak. He was kneeling in front of me with the most pitiful face. I would bet on my life he was holding himself back from crying.

"Please don't cry. I'm really sorry Skye. Please stop crying." he quickly sat down beside me and wrapped me in his arms. Seconds later I found myself in his lap. 

His hands ran through my hair as I took deep shuddering breaths attempting to calm myself down. My emotions were going haywire at the moment. 

When I finally calmed down enough I pulled away from him, he was reluctant to let me go but he did. Though he kept one of my hands in both of his.

"I feel horrible for the way I reacted Skylar. Please just give me a chance to make it up to you."

I glanced in his eyes for a moment seeing nothing but pure honesty and desperation. I took another few seconds to gather my thoughts before nodding. 

"Ok just...." I had barely gotten those words out before he had his arms around me and repeatedly said 'thank you ' like a little kid.

I couldn't help but giggle as he pressed a big kiss to my cheek, leaving slobber there in the process.

I squealed as he quickly lifted me up and carefully placing over his shoulder. He practically ripped the door from it's hinges when trying to get it open and basically ran to the front room. 

My attempts to get down were going unnoticed by everyone as they chattered in happiness about the fact that I had forgiven him.

My movements stopped as I suddenly began feeling nauseous. I swallowed quickly before kicking Brian's leg fiercely.

"Put me down. Now." His eyes were wide and he was silent as he quickly set me down. As soon as my feet hit the floor I was out of the lounge and in the bathroom. 

I turned on the faucet and dropped to my knees just in time as the bile rose to my throat. I kept as silent as I could to keep what dignity I had left. 

When the moment passed I flushed and rose to my unsteady legs, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. The knock at the door brought me back from my state of worry.

"Skylar?" Brian's worried voice sent a shiver down my spine.

"Give me a minute."

I quickly washed my hands and brushed my teeth before  splashing a little water on my face. I quickly shut the water off and dried my face and hands. 

When I had composed myself enough I put a small smile only face and opened the door to find a very worried Brian.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you again. I.." I quickly cut off his rambling by placing my hand over his mouth and shaking my head.

"You didn't do anything wrong Bri. Your shoulder was just pressing into my bladder and I really had to pee. See this smile on my face? Yea it usually means I'm happy. Ok? Ya big baby." I laughed before making my way back to the lounge. It took less than a second for him to catch up to me and wrap his arms around me. He picked me up to where me feet were dangling a few inches above the floor before plopping himself down in a chair with me in his lap. I was turned sideways in his lap with my legs dangling over the edge of the chair.

A blush rose to my cheeks as everyone grinned cheekily at me. I rolled my eyes and began playing with a string from my shirt as everyone conversed.

Brian's finger was tracing patterns on my leg as I leaned against him, my head resting on his shoulder. My mind began to wander and soon I found my eyes beginning to drift shut. I forced them open a few times, attempting to follow the conversation about the next show. But it was a lost cause. 

I soon drifted off feeling nothing but content and comfort. In the arms of the man I was slowly falling for.