Status: activee (:

Trashed & Scattered

Secrets

The next morning I awoke to an empty bed. Though the area where Brian had been the night before was still slightly warm, so he couldn't have been gone long.

I heard voices coming from the front of the bus when I decided to get up. Most of the bunks still had their curtains closed meaning everyone was still sleeping.

I shuffled my way quietly to the front area were Brian and Joelle were talking. The tv was on with the volume turned almost all the way down. I could see a Nickelback music video playing on the screen.

"Morning sunshine." I was amaze at how chipper Joelle was with the amount she had drank the night before. But then again that's how she'd always been. Brian sent me a large smile as I continued walking.

I covered my mouth as I yawned and nodded my head in their direction before passing the two, sitting on opposite ends of the couch, and heading for the kitchen area.

I quickly pulled out a frying pan along with a carton of eggs. I was craving scrambled eggs and bacon like my life depended on it. I quickly scoured the fridge for the bacon that I knew for sure we had gotten. 

I could feel myself getting worked up when I couldn't find it. My movements were becoming more frantic as I began taking everything out of the fridge and placing it on the counter.

It's a good thing the bus was not moving or we may have lost some food items.

"Skylar." I ignored Joelle's voice when the couch shifted and continued my searching.

"Skylar." I heard footsteps getting closer as I sped up my search.

"Skylar what are you doing?" I almost dropped the jar of pickles I was holding as I quickly spun to face Brian who had suddenly snuck up behind me. I placed my hand over my heart to calm it's erratic beating before placing the jar down and spinning back around to search more.

"Where is the damn pack of bacon?!" I kept my voice I quiet as I could an it still came out sounding high pitched."

My hands found their way into my hair, squeezing my hands into fists and pulling on it. The mini fridge had been completely emptied and the bacon was no where in sight.

I felt a growl escape my lips as I spun to glare at the items placed on the counter. Of all the times I actually felt like cooking I couldn't find the food I wanted to make. 

"Um...are you ok Hun?" I turned to glare at Joelle who was now standing next to Brian. Both were looking at me worriedly. 

"No I'm not fucking ok! Where is the god damned bacon?"

My eyes widened and my hand flew to my mouth at my outburst. I had no idea how far the extent of 'hormonal pregnant women rage' went. But I was beginning to see it. 

I felt tears slip down my face as I flung my body into Joelle's arms, pulling her into a hug and letting out a stream of apologies. Though I'm not sure if they were understandable due to my blubbering.

When I finally looked up both Joelle and Brian were staring at me wide eyed. I let out a giggle before spinning around and beginning to cook some eggs. I began humming along to the song playing on the tv. 

I couldn't help but start dancing weirdly to Michael Jackson's song You Rock My World. It was always a favorite of mine. 

When the scrambled eggs were finally cooked I split them up on three different plates. I grabbed three forks, placing one on each plate. When they were ready I picked up two of them and turned to hand them to the two people who had yet to move from the spot they had been standing in for the past five minutes.

They continued to eye me wearily as I picked up my plate, and the jar of pickles that suddenly sounded appealing, before skipping off to the couch. It took them a minute before they joined me in front of the tv. I couldn't help but bounce in my seat to the upbeat song that played on the tv. 

I could feel their yes on me as I ate. Their food diminishing extremely slowly. I was sat in the middle of the couch between the two, which made the situation slightly awkward.

My eggs were gone before the song ended and I was currently working on getting a pickle out of the jar when a loud bang came from outside. I nearly dropped the jar from fright. I quickly stood and rushed for the door. 

When I peeked outside I noticed some of the stage crew walking around carrying the stage equipment. When I had successfully satisfied my curiousness I began putting all the food items away. 

Joelle and Brian had yet to speak after my outburst. When everything was put away the two were still sitting on the couch with their plates in hand. Staring at me of course. 

I rolled my eyes before skipping off to my bunk. I grabbed a change of clothes from my bag. It consisted of a pair of black jean shorts and a white Asking Alexandria tee shirt. I also grabbed a thigh high pair of socks and my converse before running for the bathroom to change. 

When I felt ready for the day I stepped outlet of the bathroom. Joelle stood there just staring at me.

"What are you doing?" I shrugged my shoulders before stepping around her and walking back to my bunk with a large smile on my face. 

"Put some shoes on, we're going for a walk my love. It's such a wonderful day outside!" I kept my voice as quiet as possible to avoid waking the others. 

I quickly stole Brian's fedora that was on top of his suitcase before rushing to the front of the bus. Brian was still seated on the couch but his plate was no where I sight and he was watching an episode of How it's Made. 

He smiled at me as I quickly placed his hat on my head. 

"You know, I think that hat looks better on you than it ever could on me. You should keep it." My smile grew as I jumped on his lap. 

"Really?!" he just nodded his head before placed a kiss on his cheek. I jumped up once again before standing as Joelle made her way into the room.

"Ready?" She just nodded before following me to the door.

"Where are you two ladies going?" Brian made a move to stand but I shook my head no.

"We're going for a walk. It's Joelle and Skylar time!" I sent him a smile before practically diving out the door with Joelle following right behind me. 

I linked my arm with hers and began leading her around the venue. 

"So what's up with you? You're being all bipolar all of a sudden." My happy mood, which had lasted all of an hour, began to thaw when she spoke up. Her voice was calm and quiet, I guess her way of trying to put it nicely. 

"What do you mean?" I stopped walking as we reached an empty picnic table. I sat down with a sigh when she gave me a pointed look. 

"Skylar come on. Something's going on but you won't tell anyone. I know you aren't taking your medication because I found the stash you hid in your suitcase. And what's up with the mood swings? You were happy, then frantic, then pissed, then sad, and then happy! All witting the span of ten minutes. Seriously, what is going on with you?" 

I sighed before running a hand through my hair. My eyes searched the secluded area for any sign of life before looking back at my best friend. I guess now was as good a time as any to speak up.

"I'm pregnant." Her jaw nearly hit the table as she looked at me with wide eyes. She made a choking noise as she tried to speak but no words came out.

It was silent for a moment before she took a deep breath and was able to speak.

"Who's the dad? When did it happen?" She was leaning closer to me as she spoke. I could tell she wanted to say more, possibly freak out, but thankfully she held it in.

"I uh...I don't know. And about two and a half weeks before I ended up in the hospital." Her eyes widened at my words.

"You mean?..." I saw tears forming in her eyes as she pieced everything together.

"Yea, I was raped." my gaze flickered down to the table as she let out a loud gasp. She quickly jumped up and made her way to my side of the table and pulled me into a hug.

"Is that why you avoided everyone and didn't go to your appointments?" I just nodded my head as a single tear made it's way down my face.

"Yea I can't take my medication now. I won't do it." She just nodded her head in understanding.

"How did it happen?"

"I was working thereby tent and he basically just took me by surprise and drug me to a closet. I haven't seen him since. I just want to forget about it."

"So what are you going to do?" She leaned away from me to get a better look at my face.

"I'm keeping it. Other than that, I have no idea. I don't know what I'm going to do." my tears began to fall more freely at the information I just came to realize. I had no idea what I was doing. What if I wasn't a good mother. I was never very good with people. How was I going to take care of a baby when I couldn't even take care of myself? 

"Oh my god. What am I going to do?" Joelle pulled me into her arms as I began getting hysterical.

"Calm down babe. Everything will be ok. We'll get through this. We'll all be here for you. I promise." I froze up at the mention of 'we'

"No. You can't tell them! I don't want them to know! I cam take care of it by myself. I don't want their pity. Please they can't know!"

"Sky, baby they have to. They're our friends. They aren't going to shun you baby."

"But what about Brian? I...I don't want him to hate me. I told him I'd go on a date with him. I can't do it Joelle. I just can't!" 

"Shhh. Skylar, he's not going to hate you. He'll understand. He really likes you Hun. Just give everything a chance. But we have to tell them. Maybe not today, but soon." She wiped my tears and pulled my into a hug once again.

"I'm so scared."

"I know baby. But everything will be ok." 

 I nodded my head before finally trying to compose myself. Joelle placed her hand on mine before standing up. She pulled me to my feet and with one final hug we began walking again. 

I wasn't ready to go back to the bus yet.

Hear arm was laced through mine as we walked, charting about random things to keep my mind off of the stressful situation.

---------

By the time we got back to the bus almost three hours had passed. Brian was pacing around outside furiously. His hand running through his hair while the rest of the guys were behind him just leaning against the bus smoking.

"Dude, see. We told you they were fine." Brian stopped pacing and turned to us as Matt spoke with laughter in his voice.

"What's going on?" Joelle spoke up in question to the awkwardness. 

"Oh nothing much. Brian was just freaking out because his girlfriend never answered her phone and he didn't know where she was." 

My eyes widened and my face turned scarlet red as everyone else began laughing. Well except Brian who just turned to glare at Matt.

"Shut up dude, I wasn't freaking out. And we're not dating." Joelle wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled my into her side when she noticed me tensing up at the conversation. 

"Then what was with the pacing and ranting. 'Where the hell are they?! They left three hours ago!' You were freaking out man." The guys continued laughing at Brian's expense as I shifted uncomfortably.

Thankfully Joelle came to my rescue and spoke up.

"Alright guys that's enough. What's the plan for today?" She sent me a small smile and squeezed my side to calm me down. 

"Well we're actually getting ready to leave. We're starving." At the mention of food my stomach growled 

My eyes widened as everyone stared at me. I quickly placed my hand over my stomach and giggled nervously to hide my embarrassment.

"Uh yea, food." Brian let out a loud laugh along with everyone else as the bus door opened. The girls came piling out of the bus while laughing. They were all dressed casually, well except Michelle who looked like she just stepped out of a fashion magazine. Her gaze immediately flickered to me. The knowing smirk she had instantly gave me the chills. 

"Alright guys, let's go." Val led the way out of the venue. Apparently the place we were going was within walking distance of the bus. All the couples held hands as we made our way down the street. Joelle was on my right with her arm linked through mine as Brian walked on my left. His hand brushed mine occasionally as we walked, causing a light blush to cover my cheeks.

I nearly choked on my breath as he laced his hand through mine. I was not expecting that. 

Brian glanced over at me with a smile which I gladly returned. He had been tense when he first grabbed my hand but it quickly faded away when he realized I wasn't going to pull my hand from his. 

Joelle let go of my arm with a wink as she quickly skipped to catch up to Gena who was laughing at Zacky who nearly did a face plant when he tripped over an uneven part of the sidewalk.

Brian gave my hand a gentle squeeze when we stopped outside of the dinner. Michelle who was standing to the left of Brian quickly sent me a glare before stepping in front of me. She flipped her hair and began walking inside, exaggerating the sway of her hips as she walked. 

I rolled my eyes at her, chuckling when I hears Brian scoff. 

"I wonder if she could get any more desperate?" I had to cover my mouth to stop the loud laughter that escaped my lips. Everyone turned to stare at Brian and I who were attempting to conceal out laughter. It wasn't working very well. 

"You lovebirds alright back there?" I rolled my eyes at Val's comment before nodding my head as we stepped up to our booth. Brian allowed me to slide in next to Joelle before following suit. Thankfully Michelle was in the farthest spot possible from Brian and I. 

Brian placed his hand on my knee as I began looking over the menu. I sent a quick glance his way to see him smiling to himself. I quickly laced my fingers through his before turning to answer the question being directed at me from Val.
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I only got 3 comments for the last chapter. How depressing ):

But on a better note, here's another update!! Oh and I finally got my college application sent in! Soooo excited! And nervous ): anyways. COMMENT PLEASE!!!!

Thanks to those of you who did comment. I really appreciate your input.

Love always,
Skye <3