Status: my first story its been in my head for years its time it got out
The Fallacy of Love
When I was about 8 or 9 I realized the euphoria pain can give you when your unhappy. It had been a complete accident I’d gotten grounded for some irrelevant reason and I got a paper cut and I remember that I had just forgotten everything for a few seconds. For that brief moment in time everything was perfect. But I wasn’t till I was 14ish that I did it on purpose. My father started getting drunker and drunker by the day. My parents started fitting more one day he hit her, it wasn’t horrible, but still. As his drinking got worse so did the abuse on my mother. I stepped in one day and was beaten by my father for the first time, the first of many as I soon came to learn. That night I had to escape the emotional pain the only way I knew how. I was already in a tremendous amount of physical pain but not by my own accord, so one little slit across my wrist sent me to my mental utopia. My father eventually cooled down but not before leaving some scars, both physically and emotionally.
Now however he hasn’t stopped, I’m 16 . A few months ago I broke up with my boyfriend ‘Sonny’ I went home completely devastated. I hadn’t realized that anyone was up as I walked into the kitchen, still crying my eyes out as I looked in the fridge for some cold water. I was taken by surprise when I heard some one behind me, it was him. He’d been drinking I could smell it now, how had I missed it before. All he said was “What the fuck is wrong with you boy? You look like you just broke up with your boyfriend” he was being cynical of course. But in my distraught mind I imagined for a split second that maybe just maybe he knew everything and he was ok with it and he was sincerely concerned, how wrong had I been. I blurted out “yes. Sonny and I are over, he broke up with me and now he’s gone.” he stared at my like I’d suddenly grown a second head, he stood and walked over to me. I was still holding on to the hope that he was being sincerely concerned and I wasn’t expecting a hug but I did wish for it, instead I got a punch to the face another to my stomach a few kicks when I had fallen over in pain.
He left me there, I’d passed out. I woke up to some calling my name and shaking me, seeing if I was alive I guess. It was Lilly she had heard the news about me and Sonny and had come to see how I was doing. She helped me up to my room I could barley walk, I made it to my bathroom right before I puked, whatever I had eaten along with some blood. She wanted to take me to the emergency room but I didn’t want to. I told her I just needed a nice warm shower, she helped me out of my shirt, which was excruciatingly painful, I had some bruised ribs but nothing severe. I couldn’t even bend down to take off my jeans, she helped me with that too. I kept my underwear on as I got in to the tub she had filled for me, I started feeling better in the lukewarm water, my muscles started relaxing instantly, it was blissful.
From that moment on we were inseparable. I told her everything, and we were able to talk about anything with the simplest of ease. I was content with her.
Now however he hasn’t stopped, I’m 16 . A few months ago I broke up with my boyfriend ‘Sonny’ I went home completely devastated. I hadn’t realized that anyone was up as I walked into the kitchen, still crying my eyes out as I looked in the fridge for some cold water. I was taken by surprise when I heard some one behind me, it was him. He’d been drinking I could smell it now, how had I missed it before. All he said was “What the fuck is wrong with you boy? You look like you just broke up with your boyfriend” he was being cynical of course. But in my distraught mind I imagined for a split second that maybe just maybe he knew everything and he was ok with it and he was sincerely concerned, how wrong had I been. I blurted out “yes. Sonny and I are over, he broke up with me and now he’s gone.” he stared at my like I’d suddenly grown a second head, he stood and walked over to me. I was still holding on to the hope that he was being sincerely concerned and I wasn’t expecting a hug but I did wish for it, instead I got a punch to the face another to my stomach a few kicks when I had fallen over in pain.
He left me there, I’d passed out. I woke up to some calling my name and shaking me, seeing if I was alive I guess. It was Lilly she had heard the news about me and Sonny and had come to see how I was doing. She helped me up to my room I could barley walk, I made it to my bathroom right before I puked, whatever I had eaten along with some blood. She wanted to take me to the emergency room but I didn’t want to. I told her I just needed a nice warm shower, she helped me out of my shirt, which was excruciatingly painful, I had some bruised ribs but nothing severe. I couldn’t even bend down to take off my jeans, she helped me with that too. I kept my underwear on as I got in to the tub she had filled for me, I started feeling better in the lukewarm water, my muscles started relaxing instantly, it was blissful.
From that moment on we were inseparable. I told her everything, and we were able to talk about anything with the simplest of ease. I was content with her.