Eyes Wide Shut

Samuel and I were nothing short of experts in the art of failed normality. I like to say, that at least we tried, but I did'nt think we really did. I think we were so use to the endless spiral of our lives that we have no true grasp of the concept. So, how would we ever be able to properly fake such a thing? The flickers of happiness that I saw in Samuel were rarely induced by acts of normality. In our attempts at normal we lost ourselves even more. After all, we were only ever Kendrick’s.

“Here, take a hit.” An overly tan, shaggy haired boy held a blunt out to me, his eyes so obviously bloodshot.

The sun was hanging lazily in the sky. It so obviously was’nt day, nor was it evening, but the sunset was approaching. I looked down at my pink painted toe nails and watched the sand move as I wiggled my toes. I did’nt know why I was sitting in the circle when I did’mt even smoke. I did’nt know how Samuel had even convinced me to come here. It was all stale beer and cheap liquor, cold hot dogs, and overcooked burgers, bad music and clusters of people. This was our attempt at normal.

“Come on, Blair.” Shaggy hair touched my thigh and learned towards me like he knew me. He smiled a last grin and took another hit. “It’s easy, not like you haven’t done it before.” His hand inched up my thigh. Samuel looked at me from across the circle, a high blonde giggled as she nipped at his neck.

“No. Don’t touch me.” I smack his hand away and moved farther.

“Prude bitch.” He sneered.

I got up and brushed the sand off of my shorts. I did'nt say anything back, except stare right into his bloodshot eyes. I looked at Samuel; so enveloped in the blond who wanted him. I might as well have been a thousand miles away.

“Don’t say my name like you know me.” I felt my eyes narrow so slightly, but turned away.

“Stupid whore.” He laughed, contradicting himself, passing the blunt. “You are all that people say you are.” He continued. “People like you always are.”

“People like me? I am nothing-” I began, but stopped myself. “I’ve got nothing to prove to you.” I said sharply before turning away.

I wandered down the beach to a different cluster, slowly collecting sea shells on my way. They ate cold hot dogs and drank stale beer. They laughed at their competitive game of cards; some game involving shots of liquor. A few waved as I passed, a few more were scattered closer to the water. Nearby was a boy with a chocolate lab by his side, then a bark as I got closer.

“Shhh, Mouse.” The slightly familar looking boy pet the dogs head. "Sorry," He called out. "He likes to warn me sometimes." He smiled revealing his dimples, Ray-Bans covering his eyes. Sulight had kissed the ends of his chocolate brown hair, that went so well against his warmed skin.

"It's fine." Mouse lifted his head to me as I he sat near the boy. I had seen him before. We had spoken, and he had cracked a cruel joke.

"You sound familiar." His head turned towards me.

"I think I've seen you before." I nodded softly.

"I think so... I mean not technically, but we've met... a little bit." He hadn't seen me.

"I'm Henry." He looked out to the sea. "And this is, Mouse."

"Can you see?" The second the words escaped my mouth I wanted to pull them back in. It wasn't like me to speak without thinking.

He laughed. " I can, in my own way." His head turned towards me. "I can see you quite well, actually." I moved closer towards him so there were only a few feet between us.

"I'm Blair Kendrick." I said softly, wide eyed.
I don't know what happened, but his face doesn't even twitch. His lips fall into a seemless smile. There's an ease about the way he looks at me. If he hadn't told me he were blind himself, I would never have beleived it.

"Blair, That's a nice name." He nodded.

"Blair Kendrick." I repeated.
The name so routinley left my lips, as if I were no longer speaking of myself. I don't know when it got that way, but that's how it had been for a long while . I spoke like I was consttantley at an interview.

"That's got to get tiring." He said it as if he were answering me.

"What?" I looked down at the sand.

"What's your name?" He switched gears so quickly I had near no time to react.

"What?" I asked confused as to why he cared.

"Well, what is it?" He asked as if it weren't a strange thing to wonder when you first meet a person.

"I've got two." I glanced up to his eyes.

"Let's hear them." He smiled.

"Ava Ruth." I narrowed my eyes skeptically. "Why do you ask?"

"Ever wonder who you would be if your name stopped there?" He grinned as if he knew he had been onto something as soon as the words came out. "Blair Ava Ruth."

"That's awfully personal." I found myself squinting my eyes into the reflection of his sunglasses, half searching for the flicker of his own eyes.

"I'm sorry you feel that way." He shrugged carelessly.

"And who would you be if you didn't have a last name?" I striaghtened up as I asked.
'Henry Jacob." Mouse barked. "Calm down boy." He touched him by the ear. "He's not the best trained dog, but he gets the job done." He smiled.

"He's sweet." I hesitated to actually pet him.

"Yeah, I-" He began.

"Blair!" I heard Samuel's voice calling for me.

"I have to go." I waved before remebering that he couldnt see me. "I'm leaving now." I leaned forward and squeezed his arm gently. I watched as the blonde hairs on his arms rose.

"Blair!" Samuel came into view. "Come on." He waved me over, only a few feet away.

"It was nice meeting you, Henry."

"Goodnight, Blair." He nodded and then went on as if I were never there to begin with.

"Who was that?" He mumbled as we walked tiwards the boardwalk.

"Who was the blonde by the bonfire?" I shot back in an effort to silence him. How was I suppose to explain that Henry was blind? Was I evensuppose to mention it at all? Besides, Samuel wasn't near sober, so it wasn't a conversation worth having.

"I don't know her name." He shrugged as if he faked the effort of remembering her name. He barley flinched as he ran his fingers through his honey blonde hair.

"First inital?" His skin glowed in the soft glimmer of the lamps lighting the boardwalk. The shops were buisier than I had ever anticipated. It was near shameful that it wasnt quite as dark as we had anticipated, yet Samuel was more gone than ever, silent though.

"Maybe a C." He breathed. 'Could've been a V." He could only manage to glance at me for a second or two.

"Let me know when you figure that out." I looked over to a glassy expression in his eyes.

"I never knew her name." He spoke softly, with a bluntness draping his words. "I never tried to learn it." He addmited near shamelessly.

"Classy." It slipped from my lips before I could stop it.

"We're Kendrick's, Blair. We've got no room to be judgemental."
That 's all we'll ever be.