I Can't Stand Alone Anymore.

I stepped into the cafeteria. As I looked around, I assessed that the room was pretty much empty, maybe 40 people. It was understandable as school didn’t start for another week, but it just made it all the more unbearable when every single pair of eyes watched me walk to the lunch line.

That was when the whispering started. Each student in the cafeteria pretended not to be looking at me, but kept on sneaking peeks at me, gesturing towards me, and talking about me.

I grabbed my tray after thanking the cafeteria lady and turned towards the gawking student body, looking for a place to sit. I caught Alekzander’s eye but he simply turned his head away and pretended not to notice me. Whatever. I hoped he tripped on a banana peel, face-first into a bucket of rotten chilli only to have spoilt milk poured on top of him.

I walked over to an empty table and started to eat. At least the food was good. I wasn’t that hungry so I just had an apple and a turkey sandwich, but it tasted fantastic. Just the way I like it. I finished my sandwich and moved onto my apple; as I was eating it, I felt the presence of someone behind me. I turned slightly in my seat and looked up.

Three girls were standing there, looking down at me with glares fixed upon their perfectly made-up faces. The girl on the left was short. She had brilliant red hair that fell in perfect waves. Her green eyes popped in contrast to her incredibly fair skin. Her thin, pink lips were drawn down in a frown, just like the girl on the far right. She had the most beautiful chocolate coloured skin. She didn’t look like she was wearing a lot of make-up but she looked flawless just the same. She was the tallest of the group and had her long, dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. Her dark eyes bored into mine in the iciest glare I had ever seen. That led me to the girl in the middle. She had rich, think brown hair that was styled into large, soft curls. Her skin was slightly tanned, but still on the light side and she had ocean blue eyes. Unlike the other girls, she wasn’t frowning at me. Instead, she was smiling patronizingly at me.

The girl in the middle gave a small giggle. She smirked at her friends before turning back to me.

“You must be the new girl! No wonder you don’t know anything. You see, this is our table. So you’ll have to run along now.” What was this? Mean Girls?

“Excuse me?”

“Oh. Silly me. I should introduce us. This here is Amy Palmer,” she motioned to her left. “This is Jaelyn Johnson,” she gestured to her right. “And I’m Mona Pierce.” She smiled as she put her hands on her hips.

I just gave her a blank stare. So this was Aaron’s ex. It was typical; football jock and cheerleader getting together. I must have been staring longer than I thought because Mona’s smile faltered before she started talking again.

“I know we’re gorgeous, but you really must get over yourself. We need to sit. Our feet aren’t getting any happier.” She giggled again.

I shook my head slightly before answering with my own smile, “I’m sorry. I was distracted by your 1000 watt smile. Do you get them professionally done, or do you just drink the bottle of bleach yourself?”

Three jaws dropped instantly. Give you three guesses as to whose.

Jaelyn stepped forward slightly, “how dare you? Are you suggesting that Mona is fake in any way!?”

“Oh my gosh, no!” I gave a look of fake concern. “I would never! I was talking about all three of you!” I grinned. I stood up then since I was already done eating. “Have a nice day, ladies.” I laughed as I walked out casually.

It wasn’t until I started walking out that I noticed everyone in the cafeteria had watched my little exchange with Mona and her little followers. I could tell I wasn’t going to like this school. People couldn’t keep to their own business. I knew that everyone that went to the school would know about the conflict by the end of the day; even the people who hadn’t arrived yet. But then again, I wasn’t surprised. Every high school was like that. Teenagers feed on gossip.

For the second time that day, I found myself wandering the monstrosity of the school without any idea of where I was. Only this time, I was without a map. I knew I was going the wrong way because I was in the academic wing of the school. My footsteps echoed through the empty hallways as I passed empty classrooms. I didn’t really know where I was going, but I was content in just wandering the silence. The lights were half-off so the hallways were given a darker feel; it was mysterious and fantastical. I went up and down stairs, daydreamed as I looked down at the courtyard and peeked through the small classroom door windows. I had been walking for close to an hour when the silence was broken by something other than my footfalls. I couldn’t quite make it out so I tried to find the origin of the sound. I walked father down the hall, quieting my steps as I did so.

I advanced on room U23. The door stood ajar and a small sliver of light spilled out onto the waxed floor. I could hear the sound more clearly and I knew I had to leave. Moans and grunts filled my ears as I stood beside the door and the realization that people were having sex in an abandoned room dawned on me. I couldn’t believe it. I scoffed a little bit at the stupidity and desperation you would need to have to have sex in a classroom. I didn’t realize my mistake until a few seconds later.

I heard a little gasp and then, “Alek? What are you doing?”

“I heard something. Someone’s out there.” It was Alekzander’s voice. I didn’t recognize the female voice, but it was definitely Alekzander’s voice.

‘Great. Just great. I’m rooming with a sex hound. He’s a man whore.’ Shuffling sounds came from the room. ‘That’s probably Alekzander pulling his pants up like a good little boy. Going to check out the scary noise …. Damn it!’ I spun away from the room and dashed to the stairwell just to my left. I skipped steps and flung around the corner at the bottom. I didn’t stop running until I was back by the cafeteria, but dinner was over and everyone was gone.

Not wanting to be out in the open, I hid in the community girls’ washroom to catch my breath and calm down. I splashed my face with water and took a couple of deep breaths. I hoped beyond all hope that Alekzander hadn’t seen me. That would make for awkward times.

I decided that I would go back to the room. Hopefully, Alekzander was finishing up. I really didn’t want to get caught. He already disliked me. Not that I cared, really, but I didn’t like to be hated by anyone. So I started the trek back to my room. I was constantly checking over my shoulder, paranoid out of my mind.

I slipped my keycard into the slot and walked into the room. I let out a sigh of relief after I looked around to see that Alekzander wasn’t there. I even checked the bathroom and the closet to make sure he wouldn’t jump out of them screaming, “AHA!” and start accusing me of spying. Finally able to relax, I settled down into my bed, picked up my novel and read from where I left off.

I loved to read. It was my favourite pastime. I could get lost for days, immersing myself in the lives of Elizabeth Bennet, Hamlet, Jane Eyre and Sherlock Holmes. I read everything. There wasn’t a genre I didn’t like; from Black Beauty to Harry Potter to Dracula. I loved it all. I was also a very fast reader, which was why I had such an impressive collection of read books; that and the fact that I never had a social life.

At that moment, Alekzander decided to burst into the room in a flurry of rage; banging the door and causing me to jump. He didn’t even look my way as he stomped into the bathroom. I looked down to see I had dropped my book when he barged in and scared me.

“You made me lose my spot!”

“Get over it,” was his muffled response through the door.

“You’re such a buttface.”

I door creaked open and he looked out at me with disbelief on his face. “Buttface? What the hell is a buttface?”

“You are. You are a buttface. But that’s okay, because you can be cured of buttface-dom. Want to know how?” I smiled at him. He didn’t respond, so I continued. “All you have to do is not be a buttface.” My smile grew to a grin as his face contorted into confusion.

“You are so weird.” Then he closed the door again. I couldn’t help myself; I started to laugh. Quietly at first, just little giggles, but that grew into full out laughter quickly. I calmed down a little bit, but when Alekzander came back into the room, it started up again. He impatiently waited for me to finish before he spoke.

“What are you laughing at?”

I calmed myself by taking deep breaths. Then I responded with, “the ridiculousness of the situation. I mean, I just called you a buttface.” I giggled some more.

“And I called you weird. Which is what I’m going to call you again.” I sniggered. He sat down on his bed and we remained silent for a few moments. Then Alekzander did something I never expected him to do; he made conversation. “So, what book did I make you lose your page in?”

“Uhm, I’m re-reading the Catcher in the Rye.” I was so unsure of what he was doing. He glared at me all day and then he made conversation. It was odd.

“I loved that book. Do you like it?”

“Uhm, yeah. That’s why I’m reading it again…?” It was really, really odd. I just felt completely uncomfortable. Since I bumped into him earlier that day, I had expected us to be at each other’s throats constantly.

“Oh yes. Silly me. So, did you come back here right after dinner to read? Or did you explore the school?” He knew. He knew I knew. There was only one way to play this off and not be blamed for anything.

“I went exploring, actually.” I smiled at him. “This school is huge. I had a workout just walking through the academic wing.” Then I dropped my voice slightly. “But the funny thing was, as I was looking around I heard something.”

“Oh really? What was that?” He seemed very interested but he tried to be nonchalant at the same time.

I laughed a little, “a couple was having sex in one of the unlocked rooms! How gross is that? I just booked it out of there before anyone saw me or I saw anything disturbing.”

Alekzander physically relaxed. He thought I didn’t know who was in the room, so I was safe.

“What did you do after dinner?” I was pushing me luck. But I really wanted to watch him squirm.

“I hung out with friends.” He said it like it was nothing. He must have had a lot of practice in lying through his teeth.

“Awesome. Maybe I’ll meet them someday.”

“I doubt it.” He stopped for a second then looked back to me. “Don’t get any ideas. I don’t want you talking to me outside of this room. Ever. I can’t have my reputation dragged down by you. Don’t talk to me or my friends.”

“What are you worried about? Is your reputation so flimsy that a one little girl can ruin it for you? What kind of friends would disown you for speaking to your roommate?”

He stood instantly. “My reputation is beyond what your little brain can comprehend. I am known everywhere. I am idolized by everyone. As for my friends, you know nothing about them. So don’t be going around making rumours about them because they are the best people you will never meet!” And then, in true Alekzander fashion, he stormed out of the room.

“Touch-y.” I picked up my book and searched for my page; I put my bookmark in the book and put the book on my nightstand. I jumped out of bed, changed into some make-shift pajamas and crawled into bed after flicking off the light. I had opted for an early night so I snuggled into my blankets and drifted off into a deep sleep.