Status: Complete. :)
Always
Garbage
Dear Severus,
I’m sorry I haven’t taken the time to write to you in awhile. I’ve been rather angry with you, and that made me determined not to talk to you. I’m still upset with you, but I don’t see why we have to stop being friends with one another just because I don’t like the way you handled things with James.
I miss your company. I remember before our fight and before you called me that awful name when we were closer than most people ever were, and I miss it. You were one of my best friends, and I still see you as that. I know I haven’t said it in awhile, so I figured that I should probably tell you so that you knew it.
I—
“What are you writing this garbage to him for, Lily?” Lily heard James’ voice interrupt her writing a few nights later. She jumped and turned to face him before blinking, narrowing her eyes at him as she moved her hand to shield the letter she’d been writing to Severus.
“It’s none of your business who I’m writing it to or why, James,” she snapped at him. “I thought I made it clear to you that I don’t want to be around you.”
“You’re dumping me for someone like him?” James blinked, shaking his head. “That’s absurd, Lily, and even you know it. You’re a smart girl. You know that he’s—”
“I know that he’s always been my friend,” Lily cut him off, standing up and narrowing her eyes at him. “I know that Severus has always stood by me, even if he’s made mistakes in our friendship. I know that he’s helped me get through things and I know that he’d never betray me.”
“And you also know that he’s going to end up being one of those…those…Death Eaters!” James narrowed his eyes at her, throwing his hands in the air. “You know he’s dangerous, Lily, and you know that if you associate with someone like him, you’re going to end up going down a path you don’t want to be on.”
“I’ll decide that for myself,” Lily told him. “Look, James,” she added a few moments later in a softer voice. “I think we aren’t good for one another. I don’t want to date you, and you’re clearly not interested in a one-person relationship.”
“You’re making a mistake, Lily,” James narrowed his eyes. “You’re not going to be happy with someone like him.”
James didn’t say another word before he stormed out of the Common Room. Lily had no idea where he was going, but she didn’t care. She wanted to make sure that she finished his letter for Severus. She was hoping to make sure that she finished it in order to make sure that it got to him before he went to bed tonight.
—I keep thinking back to our conversation underneath the tree the other day, and it pleases me to know that you’ll be returning to Spinner’s End this holiday season. I look forward to spending some time with you and putting the past behind us, especially now that I’ve broken up with James.
I need to end this letter here so that I can finish my homework and get to bed, but I wanted to make sure I wrote something to you. I know that I haven’t in awhile and you’re probably surprised to receive this, so I’m hoping it finds you well tonight.
Always your friend, Lily
She smiled when she saw the conclusion of her letter written neatly at the end of the parchment roll. She didn’t know how Severus was going to respond to seeing those words written at the end, but she knew that whatever his response, it would be favorable. He had always told her that he was her friend at the end of his own letters; ever since the very first one, and she was glad to be able to give him those very same sentiments now that she was finally able to say it.
Severus was in the middle of working on some potions equations for class in the Slytherin Common Room when he heard Baldric clucking on the window. He pushed his hand back through his hair to look up, smiling when he saw the owl hovering there with a letter written to its legs.
He knew that it wasn’t a letter from his parents because he hadn’t written a letter to them since they’d responded and told him that he could come home for the holidays. He was wondering who would send him a letter, or if perhaps it was James Potter, but he decided he’d read the letter simply to find out.
He pushed the chair back and walked over to the window, pushing it open before he untied the letter from around the owl’s leg before walking back over into the Common Room. He gathered his things before he walked up to the dormitory.
Once he was inside the dorm, he lay down on the bed and propped the pillows up so that he could read before he unrolled the parchment, wanting to make sure that he read it. He grinned to himself when he saw Lily’s handwriting on the tan paper, unable to stop himself from doing so.
He was just glad that she was writing to him again, he thought to himself. He’d missed seeing her letters and having a way to correspond with her, and even if they had already agreed to spend some time together during the Christmas break, he was still happy that she had chosen to write a letter to him.
He was already envisioning all the different ways they could spend time together during the break. He wouldn’t hardly have to see his parents, he reasoned with himself, and they could easily avoid being anywhere near her annoying sister was lurking. He was happy that he was getting a chance to correct the mistakes he had made in the past. He’d made them once, he told himself; he wasn’t going to do it again.
He was also hoping that he could use the Christmas holiday as a way to find the courage to tell Lily just how he felt about her. He had known for a long time that he loved her, and now the time had come to tell her about it. He needed to make sure that she knew because he couldn’t keep going through live living a lie. And that was exactly what his existence was so long as he kept holding everything back to himself.
“It’ll happen, Severus,” he muttered to himself before he pushed his hand back through his hair as he lay down on the mattress.
All he could really hope for, he knew, was that she wouldn’t take his confession to be some kind of joke. He was serious about his feelings and he knew they were true. He knew it might be hard for her to hear that he’d been in love with her since they’d been children, and particularly because of the fighting they’d had in the last few months. But she needed to know about it.
He closed his eyes and decided to get some sleep. Even if the break was near, it was still far enough away that they needed to go through the O.W.L.’s and the regular exams. He needed to pass them so that his parents were somewhat pleased with him, and he needed to make sure he didn’t fail any of the subjects he wasn’t so skilled in.
I’m sorry I haven’t taken the time to write to you in awhile. I’ve been rather angry with you, and that made me determined not to talk to you. I’m still upset with you, but I don’t see why we have to stop being friends with one another just because I don’t like the way you handled things with James.
I miss your company. I remember before our fight and before you called me that awful name when we were closer than most people ever were, and I miss it. You were one of my best friends, and I still see you as that. I know I haven’t said it in awhile, so I figured that I should probably tell you so that you knew it.
I—
“What are you writing this garbage to him for, Lily?” Lily heard James’ voice interrupt her writing a few nights later. She jumped and turned to face him before blinking, narrowing her eyes at him as she moved her hand to shield the letter she’d been writing to Severus.
“It’s none of your business who I’m writing it to or why, James,” she snapped at him. “I thought I made it clear to you that I don’t want to be around you.”
“You’re dumping me for someone like him?” James blinked, shaking his head. “That’s absurd, Lily, and even you know it. You’re a smart girl. You know that he’s—”
“I know that he’s always been my friend,” Lily cut him off, standing up and narrowing her eyes at him. “I know that Severus has always stood by me, even if he’s made mistakes in our friendship. I know that he’s helped me get through things and I know that he’d never betray me.”
“And you also know that he’s going to end up being one of those…those…Death Eaters!” James narrowed his eyes at her, throwing his hands in the air. “You know he’s dangerous, Lily, and you know that if you associate with someone like him, you’re going to end up going down a path you don’t want to be on.”
“I’ll decide that for myself,” Lily told him. “Look, James,” she added a few moments later in a softer voice. “I think we aren’t good for one another. I don’t want to date you, and you’re clearly not interested in a one-person relationship.”
“You’re making a mistake, Lily,” James narrowed his eyes. “You’re not going to be happy with someone like him.”
James didn’t say another word before he stormed out of the Common Room. Lily had no idea where he was going, but she didn’t care. She wanted to make sure that she finished his letter for Severus. She was hoping to make sure that she finished it in order to make sure that it got to him before he went to bed tonight.
—I keep thinking back to our conversation underneath the tree the other day, and it pleases me to know that you’ll be returning to Spinner’s End this holiday season. I look forward to spending some time with you and putting the past behind us, especially now that I’ve broken up with James.
I need to end this letter here so that I can finish my homework and get to bed, but I wanted to make sure I wrote something to you. I know that I haven’t in awhile and you’re probably surprised to receive this, so I’m hoping it finds you well tonight.
Always your friend, Lily
She smiled when she saw the conclusion of her letter written neatly at the end of the parchment roll. She didn’t know how Severus was going to respond to seeing those words written at the end, but she knew that whatever his response, it would be favorable. He had always told her that he was her friend at the end of his own letters; ever since the very first one, and she was glad to be able to give him those very same sentiments now that she was finally able to say it.
Severus was in the middle of working on some potions equations for class in the Slytherin Common Room when he heard Baldric clucking on the window. He pushed his hand back through his hair to look up, smiling when he saw the owl hovering there with a letter written to its legs.
He knew that it wasn’t a letter from his parents because he hadn’t written a letter to them since they’d responded and told him that he could come home for the holidays. He was wondering who would send him a letter, or if perhaps it was James Potter, but he decided he’d read the letter simply to find out.
He pushed the chair back and walked over to the window, pushing it open before he untied the letter from around the owl’s leg before walking back over into the Common Room. He gathered his things before he walked up to the dormitory.
Once he was inside the dorm, he lay down on the bed and propped the pillows up so that he could read before he unrolled the parchment, wanting to make sure that he read it. He grinned to himself when he saw Lily’s handwriting on the tan paper, unable to stop himself from doing so.
He was just glad that she was writing to him again, he thought to himself. He’d missed seeing her letters and having a way to correspond with her, and even if they had already agreed to spend some time together during the Christmas break, he was still happy that she had chosen to write a letter to him.
He was already envisioning all the different ways they could spend time together during the break. He wouldn’t hardly have to see his parents, he reasoned with himself, and they could easily avoid being anywhere near her annoying sister was lurking. He was happy that he was getting a chance to correct the mistakes he had made in the past. He’d made them once, he told himself; he wasn’t going to do it again.
He was also hoping that he could use the Christmas holiday as a way to find the courage to tell Lily just how he felt about her. He had known for a long time that he loved her, and now the time had come to tell her about it. He needed to make sure that she knew because he couldn’t keep going through live living a lie. And that was exactly what his existence was so long as he kept holding everything back to himself.
“It’ll happen, Severus,” he muttered to himself before he pushed his hand back through his hair as he lay down on the mattress.
All he could really hope for, he knew, was that she wouldn’t take his confession to be some kind of joke. He was serious about his feelings and he knew they were true. He knew it might be hard for her to hear that he’d been in love with her since they’d been children, and particularly because of the fighting they’d had in the last few months. But she needed to know about it.
He closed his eyes and decided to get some sleep. Even if the break was near, it was still far enough away that they needed to go through the O.W.L.’s and the regular exams. He needed to pass them so that his parents were somewhat pleased with him, and he needed to make sure he didn’t fail any of the subjects he wasn’t so skilled in.