Always

“Look, Lily, I already said I was sorry!” James defended himself later that evening in the common room as he looked at his girlfriend. She hadn’t spoken so much as a word since she’d told him to leave her and Severus alone, and it was worrying him. He’d just been having fun, he reasoned. Everyone knew that Snivellus had it coming to him, so James didn’t see what Lily was so adamantly angry about.

“You didn’t apologize to Severus,” she snipped, not saying anything else as she dipped her quill in an inkwell. She had some homework in arithmancy that she needed to get done, and James was only proving to distract her right now. Talking with him was the last thing she wanted to do.

“You can’t expect me to apologize to old Sni--” he started before Lily cut him off with another narrowed glare. She wasn’t going to stand for hearing James talk about him or call him that name in front of her, and she was going to make sure he knew it.

“James, I mean it. If you don’t apologize to him and stop calling him that horrible name, I’ll…” She started, trying to think of something that she could use as leverage before she narrowed her eyes at him. “If you don’t apologize, I’ll break up with you.”

The brunette’s eyes widened and he obviously didn’t believe her, although he was smart enough not to say something else. “Alright, alright. I’ll apologize to him,” he muttered under his breath before leaning in to peck her cheek. Instead of allowing him to do so, she pulled away from him and glared at him.

“You can’t kiss me until I know that you apologized,” she said simply before turning her attention back to her homework for a second time, hoping that James knew enough to leave her alone for the time being. She knew that he probably wouldn’t go apologize to Severus tomorrow, and that if he did, it wouldn’t even be a halfhearted apology. But it was the actual words themselves that she wanted James to say.

A few moments after James had retired to the boys’ dorm room, she heard a small click clack on the Gryffindor common room’s window, and she looked over to see Baldric hovering in the window, another scroll tied to his leg. She felt her heart flutter in spite of itself, and she slid her chair out before walking over to the window, opening it and patting the bird on its head before taking the scroll, watching as the animal flew off.

She was happy to see that Severus had written her another letter today, particularly since she’d been worried that replying to him might stop him from sending more letters. She knew that he was a private kind of person and that he didn’t often open his heart up to people, so she was happy to see that he’d taken time out of his day to write her another letter so that she could read it.

Lily,
Thank you for writing me back. I was surprised to see that Baldric was carrying a letter from you to me, but it was a good surprise. I’m glad that you remember that day in the same way that I do. It was the best day of my life; the only other day I have to compare it to is our first day at Hogwarts, when we left our families for that first year. It was a good year and I remember we had lots of fun playing in the snow that year. I still remember giving you that slightly blackened eye with the snowball I threw too hard. The snow is coming and that means that the holidays will soon be here. Are you going home to Mill Town, or are you staying here at Hogwarts this year? As an answer to your question, I do indeed find it odd that wizardry hasn’t come up with a way to completely reverse time. Perhaps if we could, I would be able to go back and take back what I called you. I don’t live with many regrets, but that is one of them.
Always your friend, Severus

She smiled as she looked down at the writing that he’d put down on the parchment. As much as she knew she shouldn’t, she looked forward to seeing his letters. She had noticed that he always ended them in the same way: always your friend. It made her feel slightly guilty. Severus was obviously still close to her; he still cared about her and thought of her as a friend, and she couldn’t even bring herself to really talk to him the way she used to.

She sighed softly as she put the scroll away in a small box before locking it. She’d taken to hiding all of Severus’ letters into it. There was a charm placed on the box so that no one else could open it with magic, and only she had the key. She knew that his letters were safe in there, and that was all she cared about at the moment. She would respond to his letter in the morning, she thought to herself. Right now, she needed to finish her arithmancy homework.

When Severus woke up the next morning, he realized that he needed to rush to finish the Potions homework he’d put off the night before. He quickly set about getting it done, not wanting to be late to his first class before he got dressed and grabbed his books to make his way towards the classroom. Breakfast was already over, and class would be starting soon.

He sighed and pushed his hand back through his hair as he walked into the large classroom. As usual, he was there before anyone else, although it wasn’t because he was the teacher’s pet. He automatically started making his way to the back of the classroom, sitting in his usual spot before he looked across the room, knowing where Lily would be sitting even though she wasn’t here yet. Ever since he’d made his mistake, she’d been sitting in the first row, right between James and Sirius.

He missed when she used to sit next to him. She had made his days much brighter just by sitting next to him, and he missed it. They would oftentimes trade notes or pass little conversations back and forth when the teacher wasn’t paying attention. He’d saved all of the scraps of paper they’d passed conversations on. Looking back through them, they put a smile on his face. Especially now that he wasn’t sure if they’d ever get back to that point again. He knew that she was angry with him and that it would take a very long time for her to forgive him, if she ever could.

“Snape!”

He looked up when he heard Potter’s voice calling in his direction, and he sighed before looking down at his parchment and quill, hoping that maybe if he ignored James, this time he’d leave him alone. After what had happened yesterday, he didn’t feel like getting into it with the other boy. Lily had this class with him and he knew that if he stepped one foot out of line as far as it came to magic, she’d be angrier with him than she was with James.

Instead of leaving him alone, however, James walked over so that he was sitting next to Severus. The Slytherin clenched his fists tightly; so tight that his already-pale skin was turning a ghostly shade of white.

“Aren’t you going to say hello? That’s the polite thing to do, you know,” James sneered at him before peering at him through his glasses. “Lily wants me to apologize for yesterday.”

Severus just rolled his eyes, knowing that the only reason James was here right now was because Lily had probably given him an ultimatum. He knew that the redhead was quite adamant when it came to treating people fairly.

“I don’t want a forced apology, Potter. I don’t want an apology at all,” he said simply before looking up, glaring angrily at the other boy. “Now that you’ve gotten that out of the way, you can get out of my way and go back to where you sit.”

James just chuckled and shook his head before pulling out his book and a roll of parchment. “I rather like it back here, Snivellus,” he muttered under his breath quietly enough so that Lily wouldn’t hear. The redhead had just walked into the room, shooting the two of them a curious look before she sat down next to Sirius.

Severus groaned inwardly, knowing that now he was going to have to sit next to James Potter for the rest of the period. He hated the boy with a loathing, and he knew that there was nothing he could do about it now. If he reacted negatively, Lily would see and assume that Severus was the one instigating. And as much as he hated James, he couldn’t allow his hatred for him to get in the way of logic. He could handle sitting here next to him for an hour or so. It wouldn’t kill him, and it might earn him points with Lily. And that was what made it bearable for Severus.