Willow Mansion

Rose's POV

During the night I had worried about Byrn's nightmare and what he wasn't telling me. My dreams had conjured up images of despair, of things that I thought Byrn would dream about, not that it was obvious because it certainly wasn't. After a while I had drifted into my own nightmare with me dying like the other women in the graveyard.

By morning I was worrying about Byrns behaviour when I went down for breakfast. I walked past this large room where Bryn was reading. It crossed my mind that he hadn't slept last night. I went slowly into his kitchen and pondered what I could have for breakfast, when Byrn came in looking moderately awake. He glanced at me and shook his head.

"It won't do you any good to have normal food." He made his way over to the fridge and started to shuffle through it.

"Well I've got to eat something and 'normal food' is just right, so have you got any cereal or toast?" My tone was slightly snappy, which wasn't like me but I kept my eyes fixed on his moving body. He took three minutes to find what he was looking for, before he turned and came over to me.

"I'm afraid I can't comply with your wishes. Instead I think you should go more for the nutritious value."

"A more nutritious meal, what is that-" I stared at the packet he was holding. "Oh, no, I will not eat that, whatever it is." I couldn't remove my eyes from it. "I am not an animal," I remarked quietly.

"It doesn't matter what you are, you need to have this because otherwise, in a few hours you shall have another 'episode'." I watched Byrn watching me and bit my lip nervously. "It isn't as bad as you think, I got that blood from a rabbit. That is why it's nutritious; it holds rich blood that will revitalise your system." He paused. "It will stop you feeling ill later," he added at the end.

"I thought I said yesterday that I didn't want you to do anything like this again?" I told him. He let out a brief laugh.

"If it makes you feel more civilised have it in a mug." He pointed to a cupboard before leaving the room again. I stood sulking. If I had to drink that then I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. I didn't want to do as he told me, that would mean acting like a child, and complying too his wishes but I wasn't a child anymore. I could think for myself.

Byrns POV

As I ascended the stairs, I was careful to keep my steps measured and calm so as not to startle Rose. Well, anymore than I already had. Once on the first floor, I let my feet guide me to a room at the very end of the hall. Although the door was locked, it swung open as I approached and shut behind me once I was safely inside. I turned around and checked the room to see if anything had been moved, and wasn’t surprised to find it exactly the same as always. It had been this way for so long, I don’t know what I would have done if something had been moved.

The room was fairly large and average looking, containing the standard features of a bed, wardrobe, chest of drawers and a small writing desk. All of the wood was pale, the sheets white, the curtains of a filmy material. I suppose it was the most beautiful part of the house, the only part I bothered to keep neat. Which was strange really, since the occupant of this room no longer had any use for it.

I sat at the writing desk and dropped my head into my hands. Sighing, I softly repeated the words Rose had spoken only a moment before.
“I am not an animal.”

I laughed softly and raised my head. I had thought the same thing, once. A long time ago. Although when I had said it, I had been beaten for raising my voice. Of all the people to have been in this house, Rose was the only one to feel that way. Most of the girls before had simply been terrified, too scared to speak. Some had complied for fear I would kill them. One of the men had been enthusiastic about drinking blood and even scared me a little...but no one had reacted like Rose, like I had all that time ago.

I opened the draw that was in the front of the desk and drew out a photo album. It was old but the photos inside varied. I flipped through them slowly, from right to left so as to start at the most recent. It struck me as I was turning the pages that all these people were truly dead. Gone. Finished. And that it was my fault.

I am not an animal

I had been offended by that at first but now I thought I could see where she was coming from. After all, I had been treating all of them like animals hadn’t I? Like pets. I had felt lonely and so chosen people I liked the look of to be my own without asking their permission, in the same way a person would choose a dog from a pound. I had then changed those people I had chosen to suit my needs, like micro chipping or alterations to mark them as mine. They were then forced to act the way I told them to...and all eventually died, only to be replaced soon after. I had been treating them like dogs, essentially slaughtering them like livestock...

I felt sick to my stomach and hurriedly skipped the rest of the photos to open the album on the very first one. As soon as the page fell open, I slammed the album shut again with a strangled yell. No. I couldn’t look at her now, not while the memories were so raw after the nightmare...I couldn’t face seeing her in that photo, taken the day before she...I couldn’t look.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, not sure who I was talking to or what I was apologising for. I had so much to apologise for after all. I thought of Rose, alone and confused. Part of me wanted to go to her but I didn’t know what to say to comfort her. What could I possibly say? I was a monster in her eyes. I thought that perhaps she would feel differently if she knew...if she saw these photographs, saw this room, saw the pain that I knew I couldn’t conceal when confronted with the faces of those I had lost. Perhaps then she would see a shred of humanity within me...

I laughed bitterly then, before throwing the album back into the drawer and slamming it shut.

“What humanity?” I asked quietly. “Is there any part of me that can still be called human?”

I stood up suddenly and crossed the room to the wardrobe, pulling it open in one swift movement. Inside hung one outfit. It had once been a beautiful white dress but was now mottled with age and stained with blood. I ran my hands over the material and closed my eyes, letting the memories swamp me. I could pretend the dress wasn’t empty, that the room wasn’t so cold. I heard a voice in my head, a familiar voice. A voice that spoke softly but never deviated from the point at hand. The words both comforted and chilled me.

Why have you brought her here?

I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

It’s selfish.

“No...”

Yes. You’ve taken everything from her.

“I didn’t mean to...”
Yes you did. You’ve always been selfish. That’s why they’re all lying out in the garden under the cold earth instead of being in here with you. How can you sleep at night, knowing they could have been sleeping beside you?

I opened my eyes and the voice faded. Her voice. Her voice but my words. She didn’t know of the others...how could she? She had been the first after all. I didn’t want to hear anymore. I couldn’t bear it. Instead, I sat back at the desk and retrieved the album. I turned to the latest picture and began to speak softly.

“Tiana,” I murmured. “I’m sorry for what I did to you. I’m sorry I scared you so much. You were such a sweet girl...you would never have survived in my world and I am sorry for trying to bring you into it.”

I turned the page again. “Michael,” I whispered. “I’m sorry for taking you away from your family when they needed you. I never meant to hurt you...I never meant to hurt anyone...”

I progressed through the album slowly, apologising for each of my crimes while knowing an apology would never be enough. As I did so, the room felt less empty, felt as though it was filled with the spirits of those I was talking to.

The feeling did not comfort me in the slightest.

Rose's POV

I sat on the soft bed crying, wondering how he could be so cold, and unfeeling. I thought of the way he didn't notice how hard it was for me, to live in a house that's unfamiliar, to have conversations with a man so absorbed in his strange habits that I felt alienated from him. No, he didn't seem to understand at all. Not that it wasn't hard to see why, he had long since closed his mind to anyone else, any conversations we started seemed to end with him not being able to tell me anything. He was a shattered soul not comprehending that he could be saved, or helped, if he just opened up, if he showed the signs of life he had rather than the death that followed him.

What did he mean by 'Why are you so cold?' was there something behind that which had meaning?

My thoughts lingered on the box I had shoved underneath my bed. Could it give me the answers I needed, which Byrn in his current state seemed unable to tell me? I wanted to reread the letter I had read yesterday, but I was deliberating whether I should. Sometimes it’s better to address the person directly but with Byrn it was different. He was so closed off, my curiosity won over reason in the end and I reached for the box and opened it, the letter sitting open on the top of the pile. I picked it up and glanced at the neat hand writing. The envelope lying underneath was old fashioned with one of those wax seals, it made me think of someone important but I couldn't have been sure she was. I focused back on the letter and began to read again...

My dearest Byrn, 7th September

You should know by now that it is futile to keep asking me such questions. Not only futile, it is dangerous, for both of us. Please stop writing to me, stop asking me over and over a question which you know I must refuse. My circumstances will not change and neither will yours. We must be practical, and I fear that you are being increasingly ruled by your heart and not your head. Forget about me Byrn. You are only a child.

Best wishes, Marianna

She sounded so collected with her thoughts. I pondered if this was the person in Byrns dreams and the graveyard. Why had he pestered her when it was clear she wanted to be left alone? What on the other hand did she mean by circumstances changing? If Marianna didn't want to be with Byrn then her opening statement was confusing, to use the word dearest would be classed as close affection, however she proceeds to call him a child and direct him away from her.

I shouldn’t have read this; it’s just raising more questions instead of answers... I’m reading information that’s private; and it will get me into more trouble than I am already in even if it is enticing to read. Why am I doing this? Invading his privacy, scraping for any information at why I'm the one he needs now.

The fact is I know why I’m invading his privacy; I want to know more about him. The person he is, what he did when he was younger, who those people were. But the one thing I really want to know is how he could have fallen into this state, why he has nightmares that torture and haunt him, the look on his face at the graveyard when he realised where he’d brought me. What it meant... The little things he doesn’t think I see but are being enhanced by the vampire genes spreading through my body. I’m changing. However shocking and irreversible it is, I think I’m dealing with it.

Byrn ripped out my heart when he pulled me away from my life; unforgivable is the only notion I should be feeling towards him... I may not say it most of the time and I little think it but deep down, I know I could never hate Byrn for what he’s done to me. I ought to give him a chance to show me the good things about being a vampire and see where it takes us. I should just trust that he wants me safe, though I fear he wants me ignorant of the truth.

The truth being a factor, I can’t stand not being told to me.

I put the letter away back under the bed and sighed as I sat back down on the double bed.

If I want the truth I should ask him, at least then any information I get can be explained and if he lies to me... Well I’ll actually have a reason for hating him. I think I will talk to him about it though it will have to wait until later today, I’m feeling so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.

It’s all this thinking I’m doing and it’s being in Byrns house that’s confusing and wearing me out. The mansion itself feels alive and the longer I stay in this place, the more I want to feel alive myself and know the secrets that haunt this realm and more importantly the ones that haunt Byrn.

I crawled underneath the covers and got my self comfortable on the bed so that my neck wouldn’t hurt. Then I closed my eyes and let my dreams take me far away from reality.

***

I awoke to moonlight coming in through my window, I didn’t know I had been that sleepy, I must have slept the rest of the day away. A thought struck me as I pulled the duvet closer to me for the warmth. I hadn’t had a shower in days.

Did the mansion have a bathroom? I hadn’t seen one but then again I hadn’t had a look at many of the rooms. Maybe Byrn wouldn’t want me nosing around his house; on the other hand he shouldn’t have brought me here if he had things to hide.

The soft bed linen made my tired body want to stay in bed all night, but I wanted answers to my many questions and I desperately needed a shower. I shivered as I got out from the warm duvet. There’s nothing like cold air to wake your body up fast. I hopped quickly round to the back of the bedroom door where I grabbed the dressing gown. It was an old thin silk one that showed off my curves, I stood admiring its beauty before going to find Byrn.

He wasn’t in his bedroom, which I peeked quickly in, I didn’t want to be found near there after the reaction he had last time I had gone in there. I checked the kitchen and living room but both were empty. I started to worry that I wouldn’t find him when he appeared on the landing carrying a book.

“There you are.” I sighed, “I thought you’d left me here for a second.” When he looked at me I saw surprise flash across his face and then briefly longing before he composed himself. His reactions confused me.

“No, no, I was just in the library.”

There’s a library in this place, I could so get used to that, I wonder what books he has. What a ridiculous question, he’d have old books in there that I definitely wouldn’t want to read.

“I was wondering where the bathroom was, I haven’t had a shower in days.”

He looked puzzled for a moment, then he realised, “I never showed you where it is!” He laughed a deep chuckle that made me want to laugh too. “It’s up here next to my bedroom, come up and I’ll show you,”

When he opened the door I stared around the room it was huge.

“I refurbished it a couple of years ago.” He said to fill the silence when I didn’t say anything.

“It’s like I’ve gone to heaven,” I whispered. His soft laugh echoed in the space around me and I glanced back at him, his face was sad.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just thought how easy it was to make you happy,” We stared at each other for a few moments before he got nervous and turned around, “Anyway I best leave you to your wash.” He left the room swiftly. It was a couple of moments before I followed.

“Byrn,” I said softly at the top of the stairs.

“Yes.” He turned on the bottom step to listen to me.

“We need to talk.”

He nodded.

“I know, when you’re ready I’ll be down here waiting. If you need me in the meantime just call,”

*

Bryn’s POV

I settled myself in what passed as a living room but was really an extension of the library, like most rooms in the house. Once I was seated in the battered armchair, I opened my book and stared at the words. They should have been interesting but I couldn’t focus on them, couldn’t get the letters to join up. I couldn’t stop seeing her. Rose. Well, mostly Rose. Sometimes I saw others.

The nightdress. Why had I left it lying around? I knew it would always cause me to pause and catch my breath and yet I didn’t throw it away. So many women had worn it now. So many had gone. Like every time, I prayed fervently that Rose would be the last one to claim it as hers.

I jumped as the book slipped out of my hand and fell to the floor, landing in a cloud of dust. I shook my head and bent down to retrieve it. Foolish. Life would be so much easier if I was able to go more than ten minutes without losing myself in the past. I tried to focus on the present, feeling the energies in the house swirl with new life. The house must grow bored with just me being around, I supposed. Rose was different to most of the other girls, more vibrant and full of life. I could feel the years of wear being stripped away from the air and almost felt as though I could see the cracked plaster repairing and the dust being blown away.

It had to work this time. I had to be honest. I was a coward, always had been. Maybe it was time to be brave and face up to what I was.

“Hi.”

Her voice was quiet and I looked up to see her standing in the doorway, hair still wet from the shower. I was frozen, bent down to pick up the book but fingers barely grazing the cover. Instead of getting lost in the past, it seemed I had managed to get lost in the present. I sighed at myself and grabbed the book, sitting up hurriedly.

“Hi,” I said at length, gesturing towards the only other chair in the room that was free from books. “Sit down if you want. You know what you want to ask?”