The Beach

Sawyer wanted to pull her hair out. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. And really, if Sawyer was being honest with herself, she wanted to push Jake off the top of a very large building.

Jake had only been in the house half a day and already she just wanted him to be back on his way to California, far away from her for the rest of the summer. And Sawyer was pretty sure that it wasn’t just her that was already feeling that way.

Austin and Jayce couldn’t stand Jake and the way he acted. He was driving them crazy with his talk of rotations and finishing his residency. Talking himself up while he was engaged, however innocent it was, was driving them beyond crazy. He just couldn’t shut up.

Jack found Jake funny for the sole reason that he was such a tool and he didn’t even know it. Every single time that Jake spoke, Jack had to try and not laugh. He didn’t understand how it was possible for him to be so smart and so fucking stupid all at the same time. And the worst part was is that he was so oblivious to the fact that everyone else thought that he was a tool.

Rian and Zack felt bad for Jake. As smart as he was, he was so oblivious to the fact that the woman he loved didn’t even love him back. While he was sitting there making eyes at her, she was making eyes at Alex, despite how hard she tried to avoid doing so. Jake didn’t see the way that Sawyer looked at Alex, and how Alex looked at her. He was just so oblivious to the most obvious thing in the state.

And Alex. Alex almost felt sorry for Jake, but really, he was just envious. Envious that he was able to hold Sawyer, tell her he loved her and just hug her. Jake had Sawyer when she was all that Alex wanted and more. But Alex also felt horrible for the guy, because despite that Alex was hoping he was going to be a dick and horrible, he was actually nice and seemed to really love Sawyer. When he looked at Sawyer, he looked so happy, which almost made Alex feel guilty. Almost. Because despite everything, Alex wanted Sawyer to himself, as selfish as it was. He wanted her, and he didn’t want Jake to have her.

Sawyer felt so caught. She literally was on edge from the second that Jake arrived, and it didn’t help that she had Jack constantly making faces behind Jake’s back, which Sawyer struggled to not laugh at. She felt so caught between everyone, and she felt like she deserved it, because this was her mess. She did this to herself by making the situation a possibility.

And the fact that they were all on the beach was really only making everything worse. She had kinda wanted to simultaneously smack and thank Austin for suggesting that everyone go down to the beach and enjoy a relaxing day out in the sun. It was a great idea, because the beach was far larger than the house and the tension was quickly building for Sawyer. However, the flaw to the beach was that Alex would be walking around without a shirt the entire time, and she wouldn’t be able to touch him because Jake was going to be there as well.

Sawyer also knew that wearing a bikini all day was going to draw a lot of attention to herself, from Jake and Alex both.

And that is exactly what was happening right now. She was setting up her towel on the beach so that she could bask while everyone else wandered and did their own thing. They hadn’t even been on the sand for 2 minutes and she could already feel both sets of eyes on her body, and it took everything she had to ignore them both. She knew if she looked up, her eyes would find Alex, not Jake.

“So. How are you holding up so far?” Jack asked she he came up next to her, the last of the group to come out of the house and arrive on the beach. Sawyer looked at him, giving him a sad smile from her glossed lips and a shrug of her shoulders.

“I’m living in a beach house with my fiancée and the person I’ve been having an affairs with for years. How do you really think it’s going Jack?” Sawyer asked with raised eyebrows, causing a chuckle to come from the lanky man.

“I guess that was a bit of a dumb question.” He replied, and Sawyer laughed in response. Jack sat down in the sand next to Sawyer’s towel, looking at her, almost studying her.

“Did you need something Jack?” She asked, confused as to why the brunette boy wasn’t out running and splashing in the water with everyone else.

“I’m just trying to figure out why you don’t just ditch Jake and get with Alex.” Jack said so bluntly that Sawyer had to force herself not to let her jaw drop. She really hadn’t expected that Jack would ask her that, but then again, she really didn’t know Jack.

“I can’t just leave Jake. And Alex, well. Alex has had years to try and be with me, and he always chose his girlfriend. Me and Alex work at the beach Jack. Nowhere else.” Sawyer said, and Jack laughed and shook his head, because that was probably the lamest excuse that Jack had ever heard, and it wasn’t even really an excuse.

“If you really think that you and Alex could never work, you really aren’t the person that Alex is in love with.” Jack said, shaking his head once more as he got up and walked away from Sawyer, heading towards the ocean where everyone was playing in the water or on the sand.

Did Jack just say that Alex was in love with her? Sawyer shook her head. Jack didn’t know what he was talking about. He didn’t know anything about Sawyer and Alex.

“Hey.” Jake surprised Sawyer, because she had been so lost in her thoughts about what Jack had said that she hadn’t even realized that Jake had come up from the ocean to where she was laying.

“Hey.” She said back with a small smile, going back to closing her eyes and letting the sun hit her. She was on vacation. She needed to find a way to relax despite the fact that Jake and Alex were in such close, far too close, proximity to each other.

“So what did Jack wanna talk to you about?” Jake asked, and Sawyer’s eyes just popped back open. She gave Jake a confused look.

“Just asked how happy I was that you were here.” Sawyer said cautiously, because she really wasn’t sure why he was asking. And technically, what she said was mostly true.

“And how happy are you that I’m here?” He said with a smile, and Sawyer gave him a fake one back.

“Well, I mean, I was really upset when you decided to surprise me because this is the only time I get to spend with my friends” Alex. “for the whole year. But I guess you were gonna meet them eventually.” But really, never. “I just wish you hadn’t surprised me. This time with them “ Alex. “Is really precious to me.”

Jake gave Sawyer a small smile, sitting down next to her and leaning down to give her a quick kiss.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to see you over the summer and I thought you would like the surprise.” Jake said, and Sawyer felt horrible, because Jake really was incredibly sweet. He treated her amazing and here she was, in the middle of a big charade to cover up an affair she’s been having. An affair that’s carried over several summers. She almost felt sick being so close to Jake at the moment. He had no idea he was just a pawn in a game of chess. A very complicated game of chess that was already feeling like it was far over Sawyer’s head.

“I know. Now why don’t you go and play in the ocean. You never get a chance to go to the beach back home. Take advantage of the vacation.” Sawyer said playfully, and Jake smiled, giving her one last kiss before taking off back towards the group of friends that were playing in the salty water. Sawyer sighed and closed her eyes once more, trying to relax in the sun.

Sawyer sighed, only to feel another body coming back up to her and blocking the sun from her body. She sighed before opening her eyes once more to be met with Jack for the second time. She sighed. Really, Sawyer just wanted a few moments of peace. Was that really too much to ask for? If she couldn’t be making out with Alex in the ocean, she deserved to at least get to relax, right?

“You look stressed. Wanna take a walk?” Jack asked, and Sawyer sighed. She obviously wasn’t going to get to relax by laying in the sun.

“Sure. Why not? I can’t seem to get any peace here.” Sawyer said, standing up and stretching before following Jack down the beach line. They were silent for a while, just walking peacefully down the shore away from everyone else. Away from the lies and the cover-up, the fiancée and the other man. Away from life if she was being honest. Even if it were for only a minute of two.

“Are you really ready for the next few days?” Jack asked and Sawyer instantly shook her head ‘no.’ She wasn’t ready at all.

“Honestly Jack, I already feel like I’m losing my mind and it’s only been half of a day. I still have to make it through another two and a half days and truly, I’m not sure how in the world I’m going to do it. I mean, how am I even going to keep both of them apart and keep Jake from being suspicious and keep Alex from getting hurt?” Sawyer asked and Jack chuckled. “What’s so funny.”

“Out of all of that, you’re only worried about hurting Alex. Doesn’t that tell you who you should be with?” Jack asked her, and Sawyer didn’t have an answer. Well, she did. She always wanted Alex. She had wanted Alex since that second summer. It was always Alex. She always wanted him.

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t think about him during the rest of the year that they were apart. She could replay her time with Alex in her head over and over again through the year, remembering every detail of every day spent with the blond haired man. She watched every video they posted online to their fans, because she loved hearing his voice. She had every cd, every extra song, every cover song that they did was on her iPod. She had the live versions of their songs, acoustic versions, and even some of their interviews. She spent most of the year obsessively following where Alex was. She had even made appearances at some of the shows by her house. She missed Alex all the time. She forgot about Jake once she got to the beach.

Didn’t that mean anything? How could she ignore that?

She ignored it because she couldn’t admit that she was in love Alex, because that would mean that she would be giving up everything to be alone for the majority of the year. She just couldn’t do it. She couldn’t shatter everything.

“Shut up Jack.” She said, and Jack smirked, following alongside Sawyer, knowing he didn’t have to say anything else. He had proven his point, and he knew that she knew it.