An Insomniac's Summer

“Corey?”

“Yeah?”

“I… I don’t know. Nevermind.” I snuggle deeper into the blankets, pulling him closer to me.

“No, what were you going to say?” he prods, brushing my hair away from my face before resting his hand back on my waist.

Would you ever want to be with me? Could we be more than just friends? Is it possible for you to fall in love with someone like me?

“I don’t remember.” I lie. “Stupid of me.” I chuckle a bit.

“Alright.” He laughs lightly along with me.

Sometimes, Corey and I just lay around in each other’s arms. Usually, after lying around we’d go do something. We’d go to the park, see a movie, go driving… anything, just because we’re tired of doing nothing.

But right now, these moments of being so close to the person that means the world to me, I cherish these moments. This is what makes me happy. Sure, I would like… other things to be happening right now. But who needs kissing when I can just be content with his arms around me? When I’m enveloped in Corey’s warmth?

I miss the feel of his lips on mine. Those marks on my neck and chest finally went away a few days ago. I can’t help myself. As content as I am just lying here with him, I really want us to be so much more.

I’ve never felt this intense longing before. I don’t even know. It’s just so foreign. So… different. It makes me wonder why he’s not feeling the same way. I mean, after everything that had happened that night, and now that he’s broken up with Tiffany, why couldn’t we be something?

I’m just a bit confused.

Corey starts twirling my hair between his fingers.

“It’s so soft…” he murmurs. I’m not sure if he said it to me, or just to himself. His lovely blonde locks are splayed on his chest, next to my face. I remove my hand from his waist and run my fingers through his silky hair.

“Not as soft as yours.” I reply. His hair is wonderful. He decided to grow it out after he got a really bad haircut. He ended up buzzing off all of his hair. After that, he decided he wasn’t ever going to cut it again. Well, at least for awhile. He hadn’t had a hair cut since that buzz cut in eighth grade. Now, it’s almost as long as my hair. It goes just past his chest, almost at his waist.

“Hey, want to go get some food? I’m hungry.” He says after a moment. Tucking some stray strands of hair behind my ear.

“Yeah, sure. But let me braid your hair first.” I say, getting off of him and lifting the blankets up from around us.

“Gah, no! Then people will think I’m even more of a girl than they already do!” He laughs.

“No they won’t!” I say, giggling as I separate his beautiful golden hair into three sections. I quickly fold the sections over the other, weaving his perfect braid. He hands me a hair elastic from his wrist and I secure the braid behind his back. “They wouldn’t think you’re a girl because…” I come around to the front of him and poke his chest. “you have no boobs.” I smirk. “And your legs are hairy.”

“No, no.” he chuckles. “You’re right, but…” he takes out the braid. “I prefer buns. I really like you playing with my hair, though.” He smiles, his perfect teeth showing. We both had braces at one point. I love his teeth. I love everything about him.

“Well, that’s why I do it so often.” I smile back. “I love playing with your hair. It’s so soft and…” I trail off as he gathers his hair and pulls it into a cute, thick bun, securing it with the hair elastic. He is perfection. I love that bun on him. I don’t even know why. It’s just so adorable, a strong guy who is not effeminate at all except for the length of his hair, wearing it tied up in a bun.

“You do buns better than I do!” I laugh.

“I know.” He smiles. “Hey, I’ll do your hair in a bun too. Then, we can match!”

“Alright.” I smile. I absolutely love when he plays with my hair.

He gathers my hair and twists it, folding the strands together. He wraps the hair elastic that I had him around the mass of hair. A cute, messy bun was created.

“Thank you.” I say, fingering the strands. I don’t know how he manages to make a perfectly cute looking bun. The only thing I know how to do with my hair is French braid it.

“Let’s go.” Corey says after a moment. “I’m still hungry!”

“Okay.” I laugh. He starts to walk down the stairs and I follow him.

We decided to go on a “picnic” in his backyard. We make sandwiches and I pour some iced tea into water bottles for us to drink. At the last minute, I grab a handful of cookies from his cookie jar.

It’s these little adventures, these moments that make me fall more in love with my best friend. And I know that soon, I’m going to tell him how I feel.

I just hope he feels the same way about me.

xxx

I shake my head and continue folding shirts. I can’t keep getting distracted by Corey.

Meili… he is gone. There is nothing you can do about it now. Let him go.

I don’t know why I keep getting consumed by the memories, consumed by everything we were. I suppose moving to a completely new place only knowing one person can do that to you. I feel a bit lonely, and I long for the presence of my best friend. But he hasn’t been here with me for over a year. I need to move on.

I sigh, placing some of the shirts on a display table. At least this job keeps me a little distracted, though it’s not much.

And, I’m seeing Jude tonight. That should be enough.