Dying to Say This to You, Zak Bagans

Zak’s POV

I had left Jeanna alone at home while the guys and I went to Florida for our next lockdown at The Riddle House. I really didn’t want to leave her, but I wasn’t allowed to bring her along because of three reasons: one, I didn’t want to overpass the doctor’s suggestion; two, Nick would want to bring Jess; and three, Aaron wouldn’t want to be between two couples. So maybe against my better judgment, I left Jeanna at her house, making sure that she had the list of numbers to reach me if she needed to. I can say for sure that she didn’t really like being treated like a child, but I just wanted to be sure that my beautiful girlfriend would be home when I returned. I thought my world was breaking when I had walked in and saw her convulsing in a seizure upstairs. She had just remarked that I had helped the doctor put her in “solitary confinement.”

The plane ride from Nevada to Florida wasn’t that bad-- only four hours. When we touched down and collected our bags from baggage claim, we rushed out of the airport to the car rentals. No we couldn’t roll in style by driving an actual car. We had a sixteen-passenger van.

Nick, Aaron, and I shoved our suitcases into the back of the van and piled in. Aaron opted to drive, but Nick didn’t allow him, for good reasons. Instead he rode shotgun while Nick drove. I sat in the seat behind them, iPhone in my ears, listening to “I’m Not Dead” by Buck-O-Nine. I was excited for this lockdown.

* * *

Jeanna’s POV

I had Kung Fu out of his pen and was playing with him and Ridley. While Zak left on the lockdown, I insisted that I keep Ridley to take care of him. At first Ridley wanted to hike his leg and urinate on everything and that drove me crazy. But then I realized that he was trying to establish his territory from Kung Fu. After a while, Ridley understood really well that using the bathroom in the house was a big no-no. I was happy to see that he actually started to get along with Kung Fu. The hardest part was having to divide my attention between them and play at the same time. While Kung Fu just loved to be held and petted, Ridley wanted to play fetch. When Ridley wanted to be petted, Kung Fu was wanted to play tug-of-war with his chew toy.

When Zak had left he gave me about five numbers so I could reach him. I understood that he wanted me to be safe, but at the same time, I was an adult and I could take care of myself. I mean, I think I am starting to love the man, but I wish he just wasn’t such a worrier.

While Zak was gone, I found myself thinking more and more about us. I was sure that I could trust him. I was sure that he would take care of me. I thought I was sure that he loved me. I prayed that he felt the same as me.

I also found the subtlest hints of Beau and Joel’s presences. One morning I awoke to the sensation of having the covers ripped off of me. When I sat up, I found no one and a smile crept across my face as I noticed the clock read noon. I knew it was Beau. Another day, I saw the lid off the cookie jar. While most people would have been freaked out, I wasn’t. Joel and Beau were not to be feared, even in life. I knew they were just keeping me company while Zak was gone.

I was in the laundry room washing clothes when I heard that familiar voice in my ear.

“Jeanna.”

I smiled to myself and continued to load the washing machine. The little voices like that were what, oddly enough, kept me sane whilst living in this solitary confinement I had been put in. I had told no one about the voices I kept hearing, and especially the encounters I had had.

Thankfully, the week would be up tomorrow where I could go back to work. I had missed being able to get out and be active. I was on a so-called restriction from my normal every day activities and I was thankful that I would finally be able to start my daily runs again. I hoped that the week I was off that I hadn’t gotten too out of shape.

Today was a lazy day. I did laundry and straightened up the apartment, dusting here and there and vacuuming, keeping the dogs outside to play. I was in the middle of straightening up pictures on the wall when I my vision went black.

Zak’s POV

Something wasn’t right. I could feel it.

“Jeanna.” I jumped at the sound of the masculine voice coming through my headphones. We were listening to our digital recorders, doing a real-time EVP session.

“Guys, I swear to God it just said ‘Jeanna’,” I said, nervously looking up at Nick and Aaron.

“What?” Aaron questioned, eyebrows arched. “Why her? Are you sure that’s what it said?”

“Jeanna.”

“What about Jeanna?” I questioned, hoping to get more information from the spirit.

“Kill. Jeanna.”

“Dude!” I exclaimed to the guys. Then I questioned the spirit again. “Why do you wanna kill Jeanna?”

I waited for a few minutes, listening to silence, before I decided to use the spirit box.

“Hey, Aaron, hand me the spirit box. Nick, both of you keep rolling on your digital recorders.” I took the spirit box from Aaron and turned it on. I hoped the spirit was still with us. “Why do you wanna kill Jeanna?” I asked yet again.

A moment of the static noise passed before a man’s voice cut through the static. “Man…try to…”

“A man tried to do what?”

“kill Jeanna.”

I felt the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stand up. “A man tried to kill Jeanna? My Jeanna?”

“My Jeanna,” the voice responded. “Help…her.”

I felt a sudden breeze on my arm, causing my body to react in goosebumps.

“Who are you? What is your name?” I questioned, curiosity getting the best of me.

A child’s crying came through the spirit box, sending more chills down my spine.

“Help…Mommy.” It was the child’s voice first and then the same man’s. “Zak. Help.”

I felt my eyes go wide and I dropped the spirit box, resulting in the sound of static to abruptly stop. I probably broke the device, but that wasn’t on my mind right now. Jeanna was. I don’t know how, but I knew who those spirits were. And I needed to get to Jeanna. Fast.

“Are you okay, dude?” Nick’s voice vaguely registered in my mind as I made my way to the door.

I turned the knob and shook the door, forgetting we were in lockdown and couldn’t get out. Frustrated, I shook the door harder before turning to open a window. I succeeded in opening the window and stuck one leg over the frame, feeling my foot hit the wooden boards of the porch.

“Zak. What are you doing, dude?” It was Aaron by my side, grabbing my arm and trying to pull me back inside.

“Let go of me!” I shouted, taking his hand and throwing it off me. “I’ve gotta go!”

“What are you talking about?” Nick questioned, now joining Aaron beside me.

“I’ve gotta get back to Vegas.”

“Are you talking about what that spirit said?” Aaron asked. “That’s just a coincidence! Come on Zak! You don’t even know if it was sincere, hell, it could be a demon! Then you would have lost the battle!”

I shook my head, succeeding in pushing myself through the window and onto the porch. I leaned down and put my head through the window.

“It was Beau and Joel,” I said, staring into their eyes and not caring if Aaron didn’t know who they were.

Understanding spread across Nick’s features and his eyes grew wide. “I’m coming with you,” he said, handing me his camera and stepping out the window with me.

“Come on guys! Am I the only one with enough sense here? Do you guys not remember that the Devil has a voice of many waters?” Aaron argued.

I shook my head. “I’m going back to Vegas. You can stay here if you want. Billy will pick you up, but I’ve gotta go.” With that, I turned my back on Aaron and ran to the van, Nick on my heels.

Despite the fact that it was three in the morning and my body was tired, I felt wide awake. Nick and I sped to the airport, leaving all our luggage at the hotel. Billy and Aaron could help us out and bring it with them tomorrow.

We stood at the counter for fifteen minutes waiting for the airport employee to wave our round trip tickets through. The flight was four hours and I didn’t have time to waste! Finally, she smiled at us and waved us to our terminals. “Your flight leaves in ten minutes. Welcome aboard American Airlines.”

I didn’t think about thanking her. My mind was on the terminal ahead of me. I rushed through the walkway and found my seat by the window, thankful that there weren’t hardly any people on the plane.

“Oh my God! Zak Bagans?”

I froze and ignored the voice, feeling myself tense up. This was the least of my worries, but I didn’t really feel like talking to fan girls when Jeanna was in danger. Why did I leave her at home alone? This is all my fault.

Jeanna’s POV

I didn’t know where I was, but it was dark and smelly. My face felt wet and numb. I attempted to move my hand to my face, but found that I was unable to move. A wail of a siren was heard in the distance along with the persisting noises of the city. I wanted to cry, but tears didn’t come. I remembered nothing. I prayed that someone would come by and see me, that someone would help me. But it was if I didn’t exists, like I was part of the pavement going unnoticed. Slowly, a crippling ache started to come in waves over my body. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I needed help. Could no one hear me? Could anyone see me?

A few moments later, I was able to move, but with great pain. I lifted my hand to my face and felt my matted hair and eye. When I brought my hand away, I saw thick blood coating my hand. I looked down and saw that my legs were bruised and bloodied as well as my torso. My clothes were ripped, hanging onto my body by mere threads. What happened? I was frustrated that I couldn’t remember. The pain and frustration gave way to tears. The saltiness from my tears burned my eyes and face. I could only imagine what my face must have looked like. What happened??

I tried to sit up and was greeted with a dizzying sensation.

“He’s coming.”

I was able to recognize Beau’s voice before I slipped into more darkness.

* * *

Zak’s POV

I searched Jeanna’s apartment, finding no signs of her presence. The dogs barked noisily from outside, clawing at the glass sliding door and trying to get in. I jogged up the stairs and was met with a large blood splatter against the pictures that lined the wall. I felt my blood run cold and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. What happened?

I searched the bedroom, bathroom, and guest room to find any sign of what had happened and found no luck.

“Zak.”

I whirled around at the sound of my name, eyes wide, and came face to face with a man who was about my height with shaggy brown hair and a goatee.

“W-who are you?” I stuttered, caught off guard.

He ignored my question. “Jeanna needs you.”

I was aggravated now. “No shit Sherlock. Who are you?!”

The man took a few steps closer to me, one hand outstretched. “My name is Beau. There’s no time for this nonsense. I need you to find her!”

Realization spread across my face. So this was Jeanna’s deceased husband. The spirit who had spoken through the spirit box, telling me to help her. “Where is she?” I demanded.

“In an alleyway on the backside of Caesar’s Palace. She’s near death.”

I looked at him. “If she’s near death, why do you want me to help her? Do you not want her to join you? So you can be together again?” I felt pain at the sound of my words.

Beau’s eyes met mine, a deep brown that showed intelligence and care. “I love Jeanna. I vowed that I would take care of her until the day I die. She does not deserve to die when she can finally be with someone who can love her better than I ever could. Find her. Don’t let her die.”

I nodded my head. “I won’t.”

“Don’t let her die.”

Beau faded into the air as I made a dash for the door. I reserved the right to plunge into Jeanna’s purse to find her car keys. Nick had dropped me off here while he took the van and looked for her at any place he could think of. Because I had left my car keys with the rest of my things at my hotel in Florida, I reserved the right to drive her car to find her. Finally, I felt something metallic and pulled it out. Success.

I briskly walked to her car and slid in, starting it immediately. Behind Caesar’s Palace. I knew Vegas perfectly and I was sure that the road I had in mind would take me directly to the alleys behind Caesar’s Palace and would cut the drive down to ten minutes.

I ignored honking cars as I sped down the highway, dodging past all the slower cars. I didn’t have much time. I needed to get to her quickly. I can’t let her die.

As I neared the Vegas strip, I slowed my speed down. The last thing I needed was to be stopped by a policeman. Not now. I pulled up to a club that was situated catty-cornered from the hotel and jumped onto the sidewalk. Vegas was still loud and crazy. Several drunkards lined the sidewalk bumping into each other and laughing. I vaguely heard fans trying to talk or saying, “Is that Zak Bagans?” I didn’t care about them now. My only care was for the woman laying in one of these alleys.

I came to the first alley, but saw nothing but old milk cartons and a single bag of trash. The next alley was almost completely dark and was a dead-end. I felt a breeze shoot through my chest and somehow I knew that this was where I would find Jeanna. I cursed myself for not bringing a gun or a knife or some kind of weapon as I stepped foot into the filth that covered the asphalt. I attempted to call her name, but my voice wouldn’t work. Instead, I pulled out my phone to use as a light and looked up and down both sides. The breath in my lungs caught as I stumbled upon a pool of crimson colored blood halfway hidden by a dumpster and mountains of trash.

“Jeanna?” my voice was barely a whisper.

I rounded the corner of the dumpster and found a mangled body in the midst of the pool of blood. Jeanna. Her hair was matted and covered in the crimson fluid and her body appeared to be sliced to pieces. The tank top she was wearing was shredded, showing her white bra that was stained with blood. I was courteous and took off the t-shirt I was wearing and gingerly put it on her. A low moan of pain emitted from her lips and I did my best to pull her into my lap.

“Shh…Jeanna, it’s just me.” I said, carefully wiping the blood soaked hair out of her face.

I held her tightly and watched all around us as I pulled out my phone and dialed 911.

“911. What’s your emergency?”

“My girlfriend’s been mangled. We’re in an alley behind Caesar’s Palace. I need help. She’s bleeding out.”

“Can you give me an address, sir?”

“Fuck if I know!” I exclaimed. I felt my emotions getting the best of me. I just needed them to hurry. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know. I need an ambulance quickly. She’s dying.”

“Okay, sir. We’ll have an ambulance there as quickly as possible. What I need you to do is make your way towards the entrance of the alley so the EMS can spot you easier.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

The operator hung up and I put my phone back into my pocket.

“I’m so sorry, Jeanna,” I said, as I lifted her delicately into my arms. She was out cold and I just hoped that I had made it in time. Her blood soaked through the t-shirt I had given her and now smeared across my naked chest, but I didn’t care. I focused on the sound of sirens rushing toward us. I saw the red lights flashing on the faces of the people on the sidewalk who stopped and stared at us. I felt like screaming at them, but instead focused on the paramedics climbing out of the back of the ambulance with a gurney, rushing to us.

I allowed them to take Jeanna from my arms and strap her onto the gurney. I watched as they loaded her into the back of the ambulance.

“Would you like to ride in the front?” a paramedic asked before jumping into the back of the ambulance.

I nodded and quickly got in the cab of the ambulance. The sirens wailed, but I could still hear everything they discussed in the back of the ambulance as they worked on Jeanna. Finally, the hospital appeared and they rushed Jeanna into the emergency room. A nurse asked me several questions, including our names and relation and if Jeanna was allergic to anything before leaving to assist the doctors in the emergency room. I wasn’t allowed to go back with her while they worked on her. I was made to stay in the waiting room. It killed me. I wanted to be by her side. It was all my fault that this had happened to her. If I hadn’t left, this wouldn’t have happened!

I called Nick and told him that we were at the hospital as an older, mid-forties nurse dressed in green came out and handed me a white hospital smock and a washcloth for me to clean my self up with. I took it from her and hung up with Nick, going into the bathroom to wash Jeanna’s blood off myself and pull the hospital getup over my head.

By the time I was finished, a doctor with silvery grey hair waited for me in the waiting room.

“Are you Mr. Bagans?” he said solemnly.

I swallowed hard. Why was he talking like this? Was I too late? I nodded my head.

He sighed and my heart almost stopped beating. “Ms. Martin lost a lot of blood. We had to give her six pints of blood. She’s lucky that you got to her when you did because any longer and she would have died. She has a concussion and many cuts. The majority of her injuries are shallow cuts that sounds heal in a week or so on their own. Others were sewn back together and will heal in a few weeks. She’ll need to come back in two weeks to get the stitches removed.”

I interrupted him. “Can I see her?”

The doctor nodded his head and showed me to her room. “She’s weak, but awake. She’s been calling your name.”

I nodded and swallowed again, my mouth was dry.

“I want to keep her for at least a couple days. She’s been admitted into the hospital and will be moved in an hour or so. You’re welcome to stay the night with her if you wish.”

“Thank you, Doctor.”

He nodded his head and softly pushed the door open for me. Once I stepped foot inside, he closed the door behind me.

“Zak?”

Her voice indeed sounded weak and raspy. She had a bandage wrapped around her head and an eye patch over her left eye. Bandages graced almost every inch of her body.

“Hey, Baby,” I said, moving to her side quickly and grabbing her undamaged hand.

“I love you,” she said, closing her eyes.

“I love you, too.” A few moments of silence passes as I listened to her breathing. “What happened?”

Her breathing picked up and became shallower. A tear fell from her un-bandaged eye. “I-I don’t remember.”

“Shh,” I cooed softly, putting my hand on her forehead. I kissed her cracked lips. “It’s okay. You’re okay now. You have a hell of a guardian angel, two of them, who love you very much.”

She smiled lightly. “Beau and Joel?”

I nodded and softly pecked her cheek. “If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have you anymore.”

She weakly brought her arms up and placed her hands on the back of my head. “They know I love you too much to leave you.”

I smiled at her. “Do you know how much I love you?”

“I have an idea,” she said playfully, lifting her head a little and placing a loving kiss on my lips.

What would I have done if I had lost her?