Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart

The sun seemed to rise very slowly that late November morning. And so did I. When I awoke I noticed how beautiful the sunrise was. The sky was a mixture of purples, pinks and oranges. Normally, I didn't wake up so early, but today was not a normal day. I could feel it.

I slid out of bed and planted my bare feet on the cold floor. I walked over to my window and looked outside. The snow was still compact on the ground even though there wasn’t much, and no one was in sight. I stretched thoroughly then grabbed my soft, fleece robe to protect me from the cold and walked into the living room. Since I had decided to go to bed early the day before to catch up on sleep, I checked my answering machine to see if anyone had tried to get ahold of me. Lo and behold, there were two messages.

The first was from my grandfather. He had just asked how things were going for me and to call him back when I had the chance because he wanted to talk to me about something. I decided that after I checked the next message, I would call him. The time difference between where I lived and where he lived was great, so he would most likely be up.

The next message wasn’t anything spectacular. It was my landlord calling me, once again, to tell me that I was behind on my rent and that if I didn’t pay it soon, that he was going to have to evict me. Considering my current job doesn’t pay all that well and they had cut back my hours significantly, I feared that that was actually going to happen. I sighed, hung up and began to dial my grandfather’s number.

It rang quite a few times but, finally, someone answered. “Hei?”

“Pop-Pop?” I asked quietly. I had always remembered calling him Pop-Pop, ever since I was little.

“Sofia? Is that you?” he said, his accent thick.

“Yes. Who else calls you Pop-Pop?”

“Darling Sofia! How are you?”

“I’m alright. Could be better though. Yourself?”

“I’m great, dear. But what’s wrong?”

“Just behind on my bills. That’s all. And the landlord called last night to tell me that if I don’t pay soon, I’m going to be evicted.”

“Oh, sweetheart. I’m sorry. But then, I guess I called at the right time.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I called to talk to you about, it could be beneficial to you.”

“Do explain.”

“Well, Mumu and I have been thinking… We have an extra room and we’d love to see you; it’s been years. And by the way you sound now, you could probably use a change of pace and people who love you. So, how would you like to come stay with us in Finland?”

“That would be amazing! But I don’t have nearly enough money to get there.”

“Don’t be silly, Sofia. We can pay for your flight. And you can stay here as long as you’d like. We’d love some company.”

“But what about this place? I can’t just leave it. And I have a job. And I‘m probably going to end up getting another one, just to make some more much needed money.”

“Take a vacation. Or quit, if you’d like to stay here longer than a week or so. I could easily get you a job here. I could use an assistant. And I know quite a few people in town who’d be willing to hire you. About the place, we could pay off some of your bills if you’d like.”

“Oh, I couldn’t do that, Pop-Pop… I can’t let you pay for everything without doing anything myself…”

“Don’t mention it, sweet Sofia. We’re your grandparents and we care for you. We’d do anything to help you out.”

“But that seems awfully extravagant. I know you’d like to help out but I don’t want you to spend an arm and a leg to help me out.”

“It’s nothing, Sofia. We can afford it right now. Please, it’d be our pleasure.”

“I don’t know, Pop-Pop.”

“Please, sweetheart. I insist. And as soon as you hang up the phone, I’m ordering you a flight to Helsinki.”

I sighed heavily. I didn’t like to let other people pay for things for me. It made me feel greedy and pathetic that I couldn’t pay for the things myself. But this time, since my grandfather was being so persistent, I gave in. “Alright, fine. If you really insist. But I feel like a owe you so much.”

“The only thing you owe me is your company. Alright, darling?”

“Okay. I’ll call you back when I get a flight lined up for you. Now all you need to decide is whether you just want to visit or to stay.”

“I should probably just stay for a little while. I can‘t just leave everything here. I can‘t believe you two really want me to come up there…,” I said.

“Of course we do. We think it’d be good for you to come back to your homeland. You sure loved it when you were a child. I think you’d love it, still. It’ll do you some good.”

“I do miss it…” I said with a longing sigh.

“Than it’s settled. I’ll book you a flight as soon as we’re finished speaking. How long from now should we set it up for? We need to give you enough time to get things settled there. I’ll send you a check to help pay off anything you need covered. If it’s too much, just keep the rest. Then, you’ll come stay with your dear old Mumu and Pop-Pop. Alright?”

“Alright, Pop-Pop. If you say so. It would be nice to get away.”

“Exactly, my dear. And we look forward to seeing you. Keep your eye open for mail. We love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Pop-Pop. Tell Mumu I love her too. I look forward to seeing you two as well.”

I hung up the phone, feeling slightly better than before. I believed that going back to Finland truly would be a good thing for me. It would help me free myself from my debts and everything else that was bothering me, here at my current home. I hadn’t been to Finland since I was a child and living there. Born and raised in Helsinki. But even after my family had moved, I felt the Finnish blood flowing through my veins. I longed for my childhood home on many occasions; mainly the long, cold nights I spent wrapped up in blankets on my bed, alone.

But I knew some good would come out of this decision. I would get to see my grandparents whom I hadn’t seen in years. I would make new memories in my favorite place. I would meet some new, interesting people. I would gain some uncommon work experience whether working for my grandfather or various other things that could be done in town. And perhaps, I could get my creative juices flowing again. I used to love to sing and write but I hadn’t been very happy as of lately and didn’t focus on those things much anymore. The only thing I really focused on nowadays was working and making enough money to live.

I looked down at my phone, not really knowing whether to believe that phone conversation had actually happened, but quickly shook it off. I had to at least start getting ready for work so I went into the bathroom and quickly got a very hot shower started. I took a very long and refreshing shower then went into my bedroom to get dressed. I clothed myself in my usual attire - jeans and a band tee. Today’s band: Lordi. After I dressed, I put on the standard makeup which included mascara and a smudge of black liner beneath my icy blue-grey eyes.

Seeing as I didn’t have to be at work for about two more hours, I sat on the couch and turned the television on to something that managed to keep my attention for a while. I had found an international music channel that happened to be playing videos of Finnish bands for the next hour or so. Some I loved, others I could care less about.

After watching about four videos (and several annoying commercial breaks, of course), my phone rang again. Caller ID informed me that it was my grandfather again.

“Hey Pop-Pop.”

“Alright, Sofia. You’re all set. I’ve booked you a flight for two months from this date exactly. You’ll get your ticket in the mail in a matter of days. You’ll be leaving at six in the morning. So, hopefully, between now and then you’ll get everything there all straightened out. You’ll also be getting a check from us in the mail soon. I hope it helps. If it’s not enough, don’t hesitate to call and ask for more. It’s no problem.”

“Thank you, Pop-Pop. You have no idea how much I appreciate this. Tell Mumu thank you as well, please.”

“Will do, darling. We can’t wait to see you. Keep in touch these next few weeks.” And with a laugh, he said, “Oh, and pack your bags for a long stay, sweetheart.”

And eventually, I did just that.