Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart

47 days and counting. Ever since I had called my Pop-Pop and made the plan, I had sort of an internal countdown, counting down the days until I left. Just over a week after I had made the phone call, I got a check in the mail to pay off my rent and other bills and then some. Ever since then, I had been a happy girl. Completely stress free. And, as of lately, I had been waking up in a much better mood than most days. That was definitely a plus.

This morning was no exception. I awoke with a spring in my step, ready and willing to go to work for once. I accomplished my normal morning routine, then headed out the door to work.

As I arrived at work, I was greeted by some new snowfall. I smiled as I walked through the door, the snow making me as happy as could be. When I got inside, I went straight to the back, put my things in my employee locker, clocked in, and grabbed a box full of CDs that needed to be put out in their rightful positions. As I went to go unpack them, I was stopped by my coworker and friend, Johnny.

“Hey, Sof. How are you today?”

“I’m great, thanks! And yourself?”

“I’m alright. What’s with you? You seem… different,” he asked, curious.

“Oh, I’m just happy. That’s all.” I grinned.

“Well that’s wonderful. What’re you happy about?”

“My grandfather called this morning.”

“You’re happy because you talked to your grandfather?” He looked extremely confused. “Hey, don’t get me wrong, I love my grandpa and all, but I don’t think I could ever be that happy just from talking to the man.”

“It was more the content of the conversation that made me happy.”

“Oh yeah? What did he have to say?”

“He invited me to go stay with him and my grandmother for a while. I may even end up moving there.”

“Oh really? And where would that be? Hopefully somewhere close so I can visit you all the time,” he said, smirking.

“Well you can visit all you want but it’s not that close. Quite the opposite, actually.”

“Than where?”

“Helsinki.”

“Finland? Seriously?”

“Yup!” I said, smiling. Happy as could be.

“Oh…” he said and looked out the window at the falling snow.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“That’s so far away.”

“Yeah, it is…” I said, dreamily. “I can’t wait to be there.”

“But how will I ever visit you?”

“Whenever you are able to.”

“Do you realize it would take me months to save up for the flight alone? Plus I’d also have to save for a place to stay, food… etc.”

“Forget the last two. You can stay with me and eat there too.”

“But still, Sof. That’s a couple months pay for a week stay.” He frowned.

“It’s doable, J…” Now I was really starting to feel bad. Apparently he really wanted me to stay. I had never thought that John considered me a very close friend, but I was beginning to think otherwise. I guess I was more of a friend to him than I had realized. But even so, I wasn’t going to sacrifice my happiness, my sanity, just to stay here with him.

“I guess we’ll see about that…” he said as he walked off to that back room, not looking too happy.

I stood there for a moment, in thought, the box of CDs still in my hands. I didn’t understand why he could be so seemingly upset. It’s not like we were best friends or anything. We didn’t see each other outside of work much besides the occasional lunch, dinner or beer together.

I shook it off and continued about my work. I carried on with my normal duties - restocking the shelves, working the register, cleaning and the lot. The rest of the work day passed by pathetically slowly. J and I were the only ones working that day. Usually when that happened we talked and joked all day. Today was different though. We barely spoke to each other. That really put a damper on my happiness. I didn’t want it to be like this and I hoped it would change soon.



It seems as though, if you are looking forward to something in the future, everything in the present passes by in a blur of anticipation. This was definitely true for me, no doubt about it. And when nothing significant is happening in the present, it makes it that much easier to only think of the future.

It had been about 4 weeks since I got that glorious phone call from my Pop-Pop and there was just over three weeks until I left for Helsinki. As of late, I had been overwhelmed with excitement. I had already started packing my necessities away neatly in my brand new luggage. I knew I was probably being a little over-zealous packing my things way ahead of time but I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t forget anything.

Besides packing, I had also been getting my other priorities in order. I had informed my landlord that I was going to be going on vacation for quite a bit of time. I had made arrangements to pay for my apartment while I was going to be gone, just in case I really was going to be coming back. Surprisingly, he had no problem with it. He had said that a vacation would probably be good for me. I couldn’t agree more. Other than that, I had also been thinking about putting in my two weeks notice at work.

Work. Work was still… well, work. Same low pay. Same low hours. Quiet. Ever since that conversation with J, we hadn’t been talking nearly as much. A simple hello here and there was really all that we said to each other. I had to admit, I had really been missing him lately and it hurt not talking to him like I used to.

And lo and behold, as I sat there thinking about Johnny, I received a text from the man, himself.

“Hungry?” it read.

I smirked and quickly replied. “Starving. Haven’t eaten all day.”

A couple minutes later I got a message saying that I should meet him at a restaurant that was almost exactly halfway between both of our homes. So, I grabbed my purse and headed out into the cold, crisp night to meet a dear friend.