Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart

“What are you doing here?” I asked my grandfather, baffled.

“Seppo, hey!” Ville said, cheerfully.

“As I was going to say… Have you never inquired as to what Pop-Pop does for a living?” Aleksi finally finished.

“Well no, actually. I just figured he was some sort of businessman and left it at that. I figured it didn’t really concern me and I wasn’t going to pry,” I answered truthfully. But by now I was questioning why I never bothered to ask. It seemed like that might have eventually been some pertinent information.

“Your grandfather is the reason Aleksi and I have known each other so long. Since he is our manager, he has sent Aleksi to help out with gigs occasionally,” Ville explained.

I stood there, staring off into space, wondering why I never knew anything about it. Wondering if I had actually just been ignorant the whole time; having the information the entire time, just never really paying any mind to it. Regardless, it was all laid out in front of me now and, quite frankly, I was shocked. My grandfather had always kept up with what was current, but a band manager? I had never thought he had been that “hip”.

Suddenly, my perspective changed. The grandfather that I had always thought of as a typical grandfather seemed much more “hardcore”, for lack of a better word. My imagination kicked into gear and I suddenly thought of him with the band, surrounded by groupies and other nonsense. I couldn’t help but smile at the crazy notion.

“This is all too weird,” I finally mustered. “But insanely awesome at the same time.”

“That’s what I thought, too, at first,” Aleksi responded, smiling and nodding in agreement.

“Well, now that you know, how would you like a job helping me out?” my Pop-Pop asked.

“Are you serious? Doing what? Surely I can’t be of much assistance.”

“More so than you think. I could always use someone to help out with one might consider the simplest of things. You know: paperwork, phone calls, the occasional roadie task. Things of that sort.”

“Of course I’ll help out Pop-Pop. I owe you anyway.”

“No, no. I don’t want you to do this because you feel you owe me; you don’t owe me in the slightest. I want you to do it because you want to. So, if you don’t feel up to the task, just tell me. No harm done.”

“I’d love to help.”

Thus began my limited experience in band managing. I had nothing better to do anyway. Other than going out with Annikki and Aleksi, that is. But the work I didn’t mind. Nothing was too hard or complicated and the guys were all extremely nice. It was actually kind of a fun job. They kept me entertained as well as busy. As did my grandfather. Sometimes the work got a little overwhelming, what with all the paperwork and phone calls. But when it came time for my grandfather to take me with him to the meetings with the band, that’s when I found myself truly appreciating this job. The guys had all been extremely nice and accepting of me. They were the most gentlemanly bunch I’d ever met and I’d really looked forward to getting to hang out and work with them more often in the future.

The days quickly progressed. As they say, time flies when you’re having fun. I sure was. Most days, I hung out with either Aleksi, Annikki or did some work for my grandfather. I couldn’t believe how completely different my life had become compared to living in the States. Life in Finland was great beyond belief and I couldn’t fathom the thought of leaving. But just when I was feeling so high from joy, a little reminder of my other home brought me back down to earth.

I logged onto my email just to check if there was any work that needed to be done. There was all but 3 messages in my inbox; two of them being junk mail. The third, and last, email brought a sudden shock to my system. It was from J. A wave of sadness flushed over me as I skimmed the contents of the short email. Since my voyage to Finland, I hadn’t really spoken to J at all, and that is exactly what he had brought up. He said he missed me and asked how things were going. Then, to the hard part. Why hadn’t I kept in touch? He assumed I had been busy finding work and et cetera. I suppose that was half right. The other half being that I was just a terrible friend, too caught up in my happiness to think of others.

So I typed out an email three times as long as his, explaining what I had been up to and apologizing time after time about the lack of communication. I promised I would email him weekly, at least. There was no use loosing my only friend back in the States.

Suddenly, there was a knock upon my bedroom door. “Yes?”

The door popped open just a smidge and my grandfather popped his head in. “Sofia, are you busy this evening?”

“No, not that I recall. Why?” I responded.

“Well, we have all been invited over for dinner at a family friend’s house. Mumu and I were wondering if you’d like to join us.”

“Of course I would.”

“Great. I’d encourage you to start getting ready. We’ll be leaving in about 45 minutes.”

“Alright, Papa. Thank you.” He smiled and gently closed the door. Looking back to my computer, I began to shut it down so I could get ready for the outing.

I began thinking of whom we were going to visit. I remembered the times when I was young when we would enjoy supper with some family friends. It made me wonder whether or not I knew the family we were going to visit. Of course, I had been absent from Finland for quite a few years. Plenty enough time for my grandparents to meet some family whom I had yet to meet.

I continued to ponder while getting dressed up. I had always been taught that it was only polite to dress nicely when going to dinner at someone’s house, even if you were the best of friends. So that’s what I did. I pulled on my nicest, and favorite, black dress then carried on with the rest of my routine.

As soon as I was finished, I left my room. I still had 15 minutes to spare but I figured I’d spend the last few moments, out in the family room with my Pop-Pop while my grandmother finished preparing herself. He was silently looking over some papers as I walked out into the front room. I walked over to where he sat and perched upon the arm of the chair he occupied.

“Hey, Pop-Pop. Who are we going to visit?”

“You’ll see, Sof.”

He had me curious. “And why can’t you just tell me?” I questioned.

“Because you will find out. When we arrive.” He smirked.

I sighed heavily, but cracked a smile.

“So,” my Pop-Pop said, “because I have been having to put up with dear Ville incessantly asking about you, perhaps you should make a plan to do something with him the next time you see him. Please, for my sake. Get him off my back,” he said with a laugh.

I looked at him quizzically, one eyebrow raised. “He’s been asking about me?” I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that.

“Well, he’s been saying that he’d like to get to know you better, is all. They all have said that. But you can’t blame them. They are grateful for you. You are helping me out, which is helping them. As well as a great stress relief for me. I suppose they appreciate me no longer having to take my stress out on them. Plus, I’m sure they can’t wait to try and find out some incriminating information about your dear Pop-Pop.” He laughed and pulled me into a half-embrace.

“Wait… Is that who’s dinner party we are attending this evening? Ville’s?”

He smiled. “Like I said, you will have to wait and see.”

With perfect timing, my grandmother entered the room. She looked wonderful. The navy blue dress she donned reminded me of an old picture I’d seen of her and my grandfather together. Back when they were young and my father must’ve been but a few years old.

“Well, don’t you look beautiful?” my Pop-Pop said to her, looking at her longingly. I vocalized my agreement as well. She stood there smiling and blushing for a moment. I smiled, admiring the love they had for each other. It didn’t seem that this kind of love was too commonplace in this day and age.

“Okay. Well, let’s head out,” my grandfather said, rising from his seat.

In a matter of minutes, we were in the small, white car they had owned for years and we were on the way to our destination. As we drove, I couldn’t help but to realize how badly I had missed doing things of this sort with my family. It was one of the things I had truly lacked back in the states - a connection with other human beings, especially family. I made a pact with myself to enjoy this night to the best of my ability.

But, as we approached the home of our destination, a weird sensation grew and made it’s home in the pit of my stomach. My instinct was telling me that enjoying this evening may be a bit of a challenge.