The Last Letter

He had been waiting for hours. He was starting to get impatient. He thought about leaving, but talked himself out of it. She always came here after school; it was her usual hang out spot. She came here with his brother. She claimed they were just friends, but he suspected it to be a little bit more than that. He didn’t know why he was waiting here. He just had to see her, had to see the smile that he couldn’t create anymore.

This pizza restaurant had bells on the doors, signaling customers. He heard them ring right before he heard her voice. He jumped up quickly, running to a video game and slipping a quarter into the slot, wanting to look busy. He was not about to get caught waiting for her. She was laughing at something and it sent waves through his body. Her laugh was beautiful, sure she snorted but it made her that much cuter.

“Really, you can’t just say stuff like that about someone! I mean you had ‘sexual relations’ with her!” He heard her exclaim to her company. They turned the corner into the area they always sat at. Her and his brother. His fingers tightened around the joystick. Why was he caring about her like this so suddenly? His pocket grew hot, the pocket with the letters.
She had written him letters when he wasn’t talking to her, which was often. The first one had been to tell him how in love with him she was, how she didn’t know if she could be without him in her life, whether they were just friends or something more. The second letter told him that she didn’t care anymore. She was done trying. She knew he didn’t have feelings back. She wanted to let go. But what he didn’t know was that she didn’t really want too. That letter had been written because she was tired of getting hurt. She still cared though, still wanted him to love her back. She didn’t want to let him go.

“Hey!” she called brightly to him, setting her backpack down on the bench they used as seats. He nodded back to her saying a quick greeting. She sighed and turned back towards her friend, her face lighting up at the goofy expression on his face.

“What?” she laughed at him.

“Why do you talk to him? He hurt you so badly,” her friend whispered, “You act like nothing even happened.” He was right of course. She knew that. But she didn’t want to tell him that she wanted to forget it happened. Forget the first letter and the second one. Forget she ever told him anything. She wished she had just kept her feelings to herself.

“Because I can’t change the way he feels, but I can try to pretend that nothing ever happened,” she told her friend, determination very evident on her face. No one was going to stop her from pretending. Except maybe him. He was the only one that could ever really stop her from doing anything. She sighed, her stomach rumbling at the same time. She hadn’t eaten since 10 this morning, in German class.

“I’m going to get something to eat. You want something?” Her friend shook his head and she turned, heading back the way they came in. She walked silently to the front counter hoping that her friend’s brother would leave so she wouldn’t be so damn nauseous. He always had this affect on her. She got shy and scared, which was the exact opposite of her real personality. She was hyper and out-going, always talking to anyone who would listen. She wasn’t afraid of anyone, except for him. He had hurt her so many times she was terrified of the heart ache he brought. There were so many nights she had cried herself to sleep because of that boy, so many tears that had been shed. She was in love with him, had been since the beginning. Three years ago it was. She remembered it perfectly.

She ordered a small pizza and medium drink from the front counter. She set her fake smile on because she didn’t like people knowing when she was hurt. He watched her from the corner of his eye. Her tight fit jeans and white t-shirt. Her long red hair reminded him of fire when she moved, which went along perfectly with her anger. If he was to be honest about being afraid of something it’d be her. No doubt about it. He had hurt her so bad so many times that he’s surprised she could even look at him without hitting him the face. He knew he deserved it if she ever did hit him.
He looked across the room at his brother, who was lying peacefully on the bench. His eyes shut and lips slightly open. He couldn’t help but be jealous of him. Why did she get along so much better with him? Why did she always want to hang out with him? What did his brother have that he didn’t!..

A HEART.

She came back carrying her pizza and drink. She smiled at him and then at his brother. His brother got up off the bench and sat next to her whispering things to her that made her sigh and frown every few seconds. He was angry that his brother was making her feel so badly. He had no right to talk though, he knew that. He glared at his brother for a moment before looking back at his video game.

“Shit,” he mumbled to himself. He had died and he had no more quarters. He kicked the machine angrily and mumbled curse words under his breath. This wasn’t the way he wanted this to work out. What this was he wasn’t quite sure. But he knew this wasn’t the way he wanted it.

He glanced back over where she and his brother were. But his brother was gone. She sat there all alone her head bowed. Tears were streaming down her face and he wanted so badly to kiss them away. He walked over towards her slowly. His footsteps nearly silent.[br]

“Are you okay?” he asked her. His voice was soft and almost undetectable. She nodded and looked up at him, her brown eyes glossy and big.

“It’s just… he’s right. He knows I haven’t really gotten over it and he knows that there is no hope of it ever really happening. He said I should just stop dreaming and move on. But I can’t do that. I wish I could. But I can’t,” she whispered. More tears flowing down her face now.

He sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders pulling her to him. She leaned into him and cried harder. His heart felt like it was breaking. Seeing her like this was awful. He was going to kill his brother when he got home. What was he thinking making her cry like this?

“It’s okay,” he muttered, kissing her hair and rubbing her arm. He was trying to be comforting. He had never done this before in his life. He made girls cry, not make them stop. She threw her arms around his thin waist crying harder.

“Come on,” he pulled her up, “Let’s go outside.” He grabbed her stuff for her and took her hand leading her through the restaurant and out the door. People stared at them as they hurried past. Some looking angry, some sympathetic, and others with pure curiosity. The employees of the pizza joint stared in awe. They had seen her here every day and never once had she cried or shown any signs of being weak. But when it came to him she was defenseless. He pulled her to the side where no one could see them except the passing cars, but no one ever really paid attention.

He leaned against the wall and pulled her to him again. Their arms went around each other’s waists and she buried her head into his chest.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she sniffed moving her head so only the side of her face was pushed into his chest. “I can’t go on pretending that I’m not in love with you, or that I don’t care. I can’t.” she hugged him tighter.

His heart swelled and he took her face in his hands. He was going to do it. Kiss her for real this time. He was going to love her in a way she’s never been loved before. He was going to love her and take care of her for as long as she let him.

“I love you Ambirly,” he kissed her softly. She pulled away and looked up at him. Should she listen to him? Should she believe that he really meant the words that he had already taken back once before? She bit her lip nervously.

“I love you back Ricky,” her smile was small when she leaned up and kissed him. She giggled when he pulled away and kissed her cheek. She only hoped that this would be the last time she had to fight to hear those words again.