Only In It For A Minute

I heard someone knocking on my bedroom door, then it opened and Lucy walked in.

“Tash, hun, you need to do something,” she said sitting next to me on my bed. “We’ve been home nine days and all you’ve done is mope around this house. You’ve barely eaten, you’re awake half the night, you need to get back to some sort of normal pattern and get of the house. This isn’t good for you.”

I didn’t answer her, instead I continued to start at my laptop screen. Looking at all the photos that I’d taken in America and feeling sad. I didn’t know someone could affect your life so much in a matter of weeks.

Lucy sighed and got up and walked towards the door.

“I just want to see him,” I said, quietly, causing her to stop walking. “What am I going to do?”

“But you talk to him don’t you?” she asked, turning round to face me.

“Yeah, but hearing his voice just makes it worse. And I can’t even bare to iChat with him, to see his face and hear his voice but not be able to be with him? It just kills me every time,” I told her, placing my laptop next to me on my bed.

“I’m sorry, Tash, I know how close you two got the past few weeks,” she said. “To go from seeing him so often to not knowing when you’ll next see him, I know it must be tough.”

She gave me a comforting hug and left my room. I switched my laptop off and got under my bed covers. I just wanted to shut the world out for a while. I felt myself drift off to sleep quickly.

I woke up and could tell it was dark outside. I didn’t know if I had just messed up my sleep pattern or whether it was jet lag but I was waking up early in the morning almost everyday. I tossed and turned for a while before realising I wasn’t going to get back to sleep. Looking at my phone, I saw it was 2.43am and knew I wasn’t going to be getting any more sleep tonight. Immediately my mind went to John. He was in Chicago today so he was about 6 hours behind. I grabbed my laptop and turned it on. I looked through a few websites before looking through the photos from America again. The photos where John was looking directly at the camera, I felt like he was looking right at me here and now. As I began to get lost looking at the smiles and the memories, an IM popped up.

John: I thought you’d be awake.
Tash: Am I that obvious?
John: No I just know you.
Tash: I couldn’t sleep. I miss you.
John: I miss you too. I got used to having you around.
Tash: I miss that lifestyle. It’s not the same being back at home.
John: You need to get out and do something. You need to start eating properly.
Tash: How do you know I haven’t been out?
John: I’m just good like that. Plus Lucy got in contact. Please can you just look after yourself, I hate that I can’t help you.

We talked for a while longer until John told me he had to go. I hated every goodbye we had to say, whether it be in person, on the phone or like this.

I turned my laptop off again and laid on my bed. I knew I wasn’t going to sleep any more but it was far too early to get up so I just laid there silently with my thoughts.

Over the next week, Lucy and Lizzie and a few other friends did their best to keep my spirits up. I talked to John on the phone or over IM everyday, mostly in the early hours of the morning since I still couldn’t get back to a normal sleep pattern. Warped tour was coming to an end and he and the guys were thinking about going home for a few weeks off.

It was at this point I had an idea. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I just needed a little help from some friends. Over the next couple of hours I got in touch with the people I thought could help me the most and was now impatiently waiting for replies.

My phone buzzed and I picked it up excitedly.

Text Message From: Josh
So I spoke to Garrett for you, he’s going to get in contact. Hope this works out for you. x

To: Josh
Thanks, it means a lot. Speak to you soon. x

A few hours later, I saw Garrett come online and he started an IM chat with me.

Garrett: Hey your friend Josh said you want to speak to me?
Tash: Yeah I need a favour actually.
Garrett: Sure, what’s up?

I started explaining my idea to him and told him what I needed him to do. He agreed to everything I asked and said he would help with what ever I needed. We ended the chat and I shut off my computer with a smile.

I walked out into the living room of our flat to find Lucy and Lizzie with their eyes glue to the TV screen.

“Hey guys, I need to tell you something,” I said, getting their attention. They both turned to look at me and gave me a confused look.

“What are you so happy about?” Lizzie asked.

“Well, that’s what I need to tell you about really,” I told them. “I’ve just been talking to Garrett and I’ve decided to go to Arizona.”

“WHAT?!” Lucy asked, looking extremely shocked.

“Warped tour ends in a week and he’s gonna help me sort it so I can go over and surprise John when they get home,” I smiled.

“I know there’s probably nothing we can say that can stop you, but have you really thought this through?” Lucy asked me.

“What is there to think through?” I asked her. “I miss him.”

“So how long you going for?” Lizzie asked, obviously changing the direction the conversation was going in to save us all.

“Just a week.”

“What about everything here?”

“What about everything here?! I don’t have a job, I have no other plans, summer’s nearly over. What am I going to miss in a week?”

Once they finally came round to the idea, they seemed happy for me. They knew I just needed to see him, if only to find out if he missed me as much as he said he did.

I spend the next few days sorting plane tickets, packing my bag and organising everything with Garrett.