Sequel: Back to Black ›
Falling Inside the Black
11
The last days of the school year always loomed with a foreboding depression even now long gone from my school age. My best and happiest times were within these grounds and it broke my heart to see it be abandon from the youth that gave it life. I dodged the levitating desks as they stacked themselves in the hallway preparing for storage until the next year. I nodded to Professor Flitwick as he greeted me 'good morning' before continuing on disassembling his room. I made it into Remus' room surprised to see it already disassembled. I climbed the stairs to his private chamber and stood in the open doorway my jaw slacked as I noticed all of his possessions packed.
"So its true then?" my voice was soft but full of heartbreak. Remus turned and looked back at me slowly. His appearance made my heart ache for him. His skin was deathly pale as he leaned upon the corner of his desk for support.
"Yes I'm afraid. I resigned this morning with Dumbledore." He sighed leaning more of his weight onto the desk. I released a heavy sigh and shook my head. I had overheard Snape's smug voice this morning over breakfast discussing Remus' choice to resign with McGonagall. I had to come see for myself.
"I can't believe it" I whispered taking a seat in the armchair and placing my head in my hands.
"Hey" He sighed forcing himself to kneel before me and taking my face in his hands. "Its for the best. And lets face it" he chuckled "I'm quite used to it by now."
"Its not fair.." I whispered turning my eyes away from him as my heart broke for my friend.
"Well perhaps but lets face it" his fingers lingered around the opening of my shirt gently touching the heavy bandages that still encased my chest and lingered down to my arm that was still bound in the tourniquet. "I shouldn't be around children not in my state its just too risky. Hell I shouldn't even be around you Ella" his voice broke slightly at the end of his chuckle.
"Oh Remus" I whispered still holding his other hand to my cheek I turned and pressed my lips to his coarse palm.
"You're too good to me Ella. Far kinder than I deserve. I see that now." he stood on shaky legs before taking his cane to aid his posture. "I shall remove all my possessions from Scott manor by the end of the month."
My head snapped up at this and looked at him dumbfound "Remus why? You are more than welcome to stay there."
He shook his head and pulled on his coat. "No. I'm afraid I might impose and be a burden on the happy family."
I looked at him shocked tears brimming my eyes as he limped towards me and leaned down and kissed my forehead.
"Goodbye Ella. I hope all goes as you hope with Padfoot."
After finally collecting my bearings I made my way down the grand staircase to the entrance my bags levitating behind me. The great hall was alive with excited chatter and I could see Harry and his friends crowded around the unwrapped package gawking as they stared down at it in awe. Seeming to catch my heavy stare Harry looked up to meet my gaze. He gave me a knowing smile and I bowed my head with a smile in confirmation; Sirius the spoiler I the deliverer. He attempted to make his way toward me but the crowd of students grew thicker and blocked his path. I fought back the tears as I turned back toward the entrance feeling now was not the time to see him. He would have questions I wasn't sure I would have the answers to. The law would not allow him to come with me away from his aunt and uncle not with Sirius still at large. I knew soon the ministry would be making a visit to question if I had had any contact with my husband since his escape. I couldn't put Harry through that.
I couldn't even answer my own questions. What was I to do without Remus? He had been my foundation for the past eleven years. The large home would seem so empty without him. I realized then I did not do well on my own. I could not bear to be by myself. My thoughts were my own worst enemy that would bring back the past as its weapon of choice. At least company kept my occupied and the past at bay. A form of shock seemed to rack my frame as I reached the gate, I paused. How would I cope with being alone?
"So its true then?" my voice was soft but full of heartbreak. Remus turned and looked back at me slowly. His appearance made my heart ache for him. His skin was deathly pale as he leaned upon the corner of his desk for support.
"Yes I'm afraid. I resigned this morning with Dumbledore." He sighed leaning more of his weight onto the desk. I released a heavy sigh and shook my head. I had overheard Snape's smug voice this morning over breakfast discussing Remus' choice to resign with McGonagall. I had to come see for myself.
"I can't believe it" I whispered taking a seat in the armchair and placing my head in my hands.
"Hey" He sighed forcing himself to kneel before me and taking my face in his hands. "Its for the best. And lets face it" he chuckled "I'm quite used to it by now."
"Its not fair.." I whispered turning my eyes away from him as my heart broke for my friend.
"Well perhaps but lets face it" his fingers lingered around the opening of my shirt gently touching the heavy bandages that still encased my chest and lingered down to my arm that was still bound in the tourniquet. "I shouldn't be around children not in my state its just too risky. Hell I shouldn't even be around you Ella" his voice broke slightly at the end of his chuckle.
"Oh Remus" I whispered still holding his other hand to my cheek I turned and pressed my lips to his coarse palm.
"You're too good to me Ella. Far kinder than I deserve. I see that now." he stood on shaky legs before taking his cane to aid his posture. "I shall remove all my possessions from Scott manor by the end of the month."
My head snapped up at this and looked at him dumbfound "Remus why? You are more than welcome to stay there."
He shook his head and pulled on his coat. "No. I'm afraid I might impose and be a burden on the happy family."
I looked at him shocked tears brimming my eyes as he limped towards me and leaned down and kissed my forehead.
"Goodbye Ella. I hope all goes as you hope with Padfoot."
After finally collecting my bearings I made my way down the grand staircase to the entrance my bags levitating behind me. The great hall was alive with excited chatter and I could see Harry and his friends crowded around the unwrapped package gawking as they stared down at it in awe. Seeming to catch my heavy stare Harry looked up to meet my gaze. He gave me a knowing smile and I bowed my head with a smile in confirmation; Sirius the spoiler I the deliverer. He attempted to make his way toward me but the crowd of students grew thicker and blocked his path. I fought back the tears as I turned back toward the entrance feeling now was not the time to see him. He would have questions I wasn't sure I would have the answers to. The law would not allow him to come with me away from his aunt and uncle not with Sirius still at large. I knew soon the ministry would be making a visit to question if I had had any contact with my husband since his escape. I couldn't put Harry through that.
I couldn't even answer my own questions. What was I to do without Remus? He had been my foundation for the past eleven years. The large home would seem so empty without him. I realized then I did not do well on my own. I could not bear to be by myself. My thoughts were my own worst enemy that would bring back the past as its weapon of choice. At least company kept my occupied and the past at bay. A form of shock seemed to rack my frame as I reached the gate, I paused. How would I cope with being alone?
♠ ♠ ♠
Do you want a sequel? Let me know! Thank you so much for the support for this story I have truly enjoyed writing it and have plans for the next addition to it (With much more Sirius ;) )