The Hangover: Part III

The yellow cab was driving east on the I-495 toward Huntington with the air conditioning blasting. Doug was sitting up front with Alan and the cabbie; Alan in the middle. Meanwhile, in the backseat, which wasn't very roomy with four people, Stu sat behind the cabbie, with Amanda in the middle and Phil behind he passenger seat. Sam was sitting on Phil's lap, her hands gripping the seat in front of her for balance when the vehicle turned at all, despite the fact that Phil had his hands resting on her hips to help keep her stationary.

Out the corner of her eye, Sam felt Amanda's gaze on her. She turned and furrowed her brow. "What?"

Amanda simply sat back and shook her head, albeit a knowing grin on her face. "Nothing," she replied, looking forward and trying to peer over Alan's head to catch a glimpse of how she looked in the rearview mirror.

Forty minutes after leaving Green-Wood Cemetery, the cab arrived to OHEKA Castle Hotel and Estate. Amanda handed Sam her purse and Sam pulled out her wallet, offering up her charge card, figuring that since she had it now she could contribute to all the traveling fares the guys had paid for. Doug tried to protest, since he had his wallet on him but she would hear none of it. As the six of them almost literally piled out of the cab, Amanda looked at Sam.

"Where's my purse?"

"Stolen."

Amanda just nodded. "I guess I'll have to call to cancel my credit cards tomorrow before I leave on my honeymoon."

"Sorry," Sam offered up as they all walked quickly across the entrance courtyard, each and every one of them looking like disasters.

Amanda shrugged. "It's okay." She then slipped an arm around her big sister. "You know, I might have been stuck in a mausoleum in a cemetery for a day, that was hotter than Hades, with no food or water, but everything that led up to that was so much fun."

Sam looked her sister in the eye and began to smile. "Yeah, I remember next to nothing, but I had fun, too."

The sisters embraced in a side hug. "Best bachelorette party ever," Amanda laughed.

As the six walked into the front entrance, they were greeted by a worker of the hotel and estate standing by the grand staircase. He looked down his nose at all of them, not knowing who they were or why they looked like white trash.

"Can I help you?"

They all pointed to Amanda. "This is Amanda Simmons, bride. She's getting married here today and needs to get ready ASAP. We're already behind," Sam announced.

"And the rest of you are?"

Sam pointed to herself. "Maid of Honor," she then gestured to the guys, "and guests."

Stu cringed when he looked down at himself and the state of all of their clothes. "Is there maybe a way to clean up?" he asked, partly toward the OHEKA Castle employee but also to Sam. "I don't think this is how anyone should attend a wedding."

"There are polo shirts available for purchase," the employee commented directing them up the grand staircase to the main floor.

"That'd be great," Phil commented. "Could we get four of those?"

"What sizes?"

"Uh, two large, one medium and one extra large?" he replied, knowing his own size but trying to size up Stu, Doug and Alan. They nodded at him that he got it right. "Yeah," Phil confirmed his uncertainty. He pulled his wallet out, removing one of his credit cards, about to offer it to the employee. "Can I just give this to you?"

Amanda just reached her hand out and pushed Phil's down. "Don't," she said to him. She then looked to the employee. "Just charge the shirts to my father, Dr. Ira Simmons."

The employee nodded and continued to lead them toward the second floor where the hotel suites were. Amanda walked side by side with the employee and Sam trailed behind them, while the four guys brought up the rear, looking around at how opulent the inside of the place was. When they reached a particular door, the employee knocked and after a few moments, the door opened, revealing a woman in her early sixties who looked almost identical to Sam. She had the same shade of auburn hair with the exception of several strands of grey here and there, the same color of green eyes. The only difference was the woman was more plump, her hair was done up in a styled bob, there were age lines on her forehead, crow's feet beside her eyes and wore glasses.

The woman squealed with relief upon seeing Amanda. Her arms immediately went around the blonde bride-to-be. "Oh, thank god. Get in here, get in here...we don't have time to mess around. We need to get you cleaned up and dressed, and oh sweet Jesus, is there any time to even do your hair and makeup?"

"Mom, it'll be fine," Amanda assured with a calm demeanor. Apparently this woman was Sam and Amanda's mother, Dr. Colleen Kirkpatrick-Simmons.

"I'll be back with your shirts," the employee remarked to the men before disappearing somewhere down the hall.

Sam and Amanda's mother looked at Sam and frowned, placing her hands on her hips once she shooed Amanda inside the suite. "How could you scare me like that, thinking you lost your sister in the city?"

"Well, technically she was never my responsibility," Sam retorted.

"It was an unspoken responsibility," Colleen commented. "You're her big sister and maid of honor. Keeping track of a bride is the maid of honor's duty during a bachelorette party or weekend."

"Well, I didn't lose her, she's here now. Let's get her married." Sam sighed heavily and ran a hand through her hair, her lips pressed together firmly as she frowned exactly the same way her mother had just done.

Slowly, Colleen reached a hand up and touched it gently upon her oldest daughter's face, where the bruise was on the left side of her jaw. "Someone hit you?" It was a moment of the loving mother she truly could be with Sam. Her eyes scanned to the four men standing behind her eldest and noticed their cuts and bruises, as well as the general filth covering them. Her eyes seemed to continually find their way back to Phil. She seemed a bit interested in who he was, or was perhaps found him attractive like so many others did; dirty and disheveled appearance be damned. "Who are you?" she asked the four guys, though she slightly more focused on Phil.

Amanda pointed to Stu first, "This is my boss, Dr. Stuart Price."

"You're the one from the phone."

Stu nodded, "Yes." He offered his hand, which she shook. "It's nice to meet you. You're daughter is the best hygienist I've ever had. All my patients just love her. You must be proud," he added, laying it on thick on purpose. He knew from Sam, how her parents were disappointed in her not pursuing a career as any sort of doctor. They didn't seem to understand Sam was happy doing what she did.

Colleen smiled appreciatively. Obviously, she couldn't disagree with the guys standing right there. It would be impolite and rude, not to mention embarrassing. "Of course. She's always been a very pleasant young woman, very hardworking."

Sam raised an eyebrow. She didn't know if her mother was being honest or playing it up for the guys' benefit. Either way, she turned and pointed to Doug and Alan next. "This is Doug Billings, Stu's best friend, and Alan Garner, Doug's brother-in-law."

Both men waved, but Alan walked up to Sam's mom and placed a hand on her shoulder which she looked at with disdain. "Your daughter Sam is a very important part of our wolf pack now. I just thought you should know."

"A wolf what?"

"And this is Phil Wenneck," Sam continued, gesturing behind her to Phil. "He's Stu's other best friend."

Phil stepped forward and also offered his hand, flashing Colleen his million watt smile which seemed to melt her tough exterior a little. "I'm also Sam's boyfriend." He hadn't forgotten their conversation on the Brooklyn Bridge about how they should pretend to be together. Only this time, he was serious about it and not wanting to use it simply as some façade to throw in her mother's face.

Sam turned and looked up at him with a grateful smile. As she turned back toward her mother, she declared, "They're my plus four."



Some time later, the employee had returned to the suite Amanda was to use to get ready in for the wedding ceremony. He had the guys' four shirts in hand but was directed to a second, smaller room which had been booked by Sam's parents for Sam to use. Had the weekend gone according to plan, Sam would've spent the night before the wedding at the OHEKA along with Amanda, their parents, Amanda's betrothed and future in-laws, and both sides of the wedding party. They had the rooms until the following morning.

The guys had taken turns showering and changing back into the same bottoms they'd worn. Only this time they were all wearing polo shirts. The two larges where light blue and white striped with the same light blue color for the collar. Those went to Phil and Stu to wear. Doug and Alan got the plain white polos. All four had the same OHEKA Castle logo over the left breast. When they were showered and redressed, they realized Alan was still without shoes as he'd lost them in the grave he'd fallen in. He would definitely be quite the sight and would stick out like a sore thumb being barefoot and still wearing Stu's green swim trunks. Stu had finally removed the Ace bandage from his head Sam had applied the night before and Alan had removed the makeshift bandage made from a part of the pink dress Sam had made for him. Their wounds seemed to be trying to heal themselves. They were all just left with a few cuts and bruises here and there.

After finding their way down to the main floor, they were ushered out to the formal gardens, all the way to the end where chairs were set up in two different sections in front of a gazebo adorned with an array of what looked to be tie-dyed lilies. Each petal seemed to be a different color: red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. It was an odd choice for floral arrangements.

It was after three, the ceremony was an hour late, but the guests had been informed on this and were offered hors d'oeuvres and cocktails while they waited. Phil had snatched a glass of whatever liquor the wait staff was walking around with when the guys took a seat toward the back.

Stu peered toward the front where the gazebo was, narrowing his eyes upon something, before turning to the others and whispering, "Where's the groom? Shouldn't he be waiting up there with his groomsmen?"

Alan shrugged, "I don't even see any groomsmen."

"Maybe they're all walking down the aisle in pairs and Amanda and her fiancé are gonna walk down together. Not every bride is walked down with her father," Phil suggested. "Stephanie walked down with her mother, remember?"

"I thought that was because her father died when she was in high school," Stu muttered, then looking over at Phil who was taking a sip of his cocktail. "You're already drinking?" he questioned.

"Yeah."

Stu didn't push it any further as the string quartet off to the side of the gazebo started playing a classical rendition of 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow.' Everyone turned around and saw about ten women, walking two by two, down the aisle, all wearing the same short, kelly green dress with matching kelly green ribbon around their waists. Their shoes were the same color and their hair was all done up in the same French twist. Next came a black woman in the same dress, only instead of a green ribbon around her waist, hers was white. Following directly behind her was Sam, wearing the same outfit.

The guys were confused.

"Ten bridesmaids and two maids of honor?" Stu remarked. "How big is this wedding party going to be?"

As Sam walked past, a bouquet of white lilies in her hand, she winked at the foursome. Her hair was swept back off her face into some sort of hair clip that was covered by baby's breath. The bruise on her jaw was covered up as best as possible with foundation and her makeup made her features stand out. Normally she looked rather pretty, but with the makeup she was stunning.

Phil's eyes were locked on her as she continued her way up the grassy aisle; something in his chest fluttering.

As 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' began to end, the typical wedding march began to play and Amanda came walking toward the ceremony area from the gardens, her mother and father on either side of her, walking their youngest up to the gazebo altar together. Once she reached the gazebo, surprise genuinely hit the guys.

A woman with blonde hair, a few shades darker than Amanda's, came walking up the aisle in a bridal gown of her own. She had an older man and woman walking her up the aisle just as well. Her dress was more simple, compared to Amanda's who wore what looked like a big cream puff. The second woman wore a more classic style dress; something that would've been worn by a Hollywood starlet in the 1930s.

The bridesmaids had broken up in two, five on either side of the gazebo. The black maid of honor stepped to the left and Sam stepped to the right where Amanda stood, awaiting the other woman in white.

"I don't get it. Is the groom not coming?" Alan asked. "Is Amanda being stood up?"

Phil, Stu and Doug all began to chuckle.

"No, Alan," Doug muttered.

"Well, then, what's going on?"

"This is a gay marriage, Alan," Phil replied, quietly.

"A what? Like, they're lesbians? How does that work?"

"Gay marriage was made legal here in New York two years ago. A man can marry a man, a woman can marry a woman," Stu explained, equally as quiet.

Alan furrowed his brow. He still didn't fully grasp what was going on. "That's kind of silly. But as long as they love each other, I guess." He shrugged, and sat up straight, his hands folded in his lap as he watched the ceremony begin.

While Amanda and her bride, who's name appeared to be Emily Burleigh, exchanged their vows, Sam tore her eyes away and let them fall upon Phil's face several rows back on the left side of the aisle. He caught her staring at him and smiled. She smiled back.

"...Therefore," the justice of the peace was saying, "by the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce that the two of you are wife and wife."

Everyone began to clap, tears were falling down cheeks and the music started up again as the JP added that bride may now kiss bride. As Amanda and Emily kissed, they turned around to face their guests, hands clasped tightly together and held high above their heads. Walking back down the aisle together, guests threw a mixture of red, yellow and pink rose petals at them before they walked off together back through the gardens, rounding the fountain in the center and heading back toward the estate. Sam and the other maid of honor followed next, and then all ten bridesmaids.

The guys turned to one another, taking it all in.

"Well, this was certainly a different kind of wedding," Stu remarked.

"It was a beautiful ceremony," Doug added in an agreeing tone.

"You didn't seem surprised about it being a gay marriage," Phil pointed out as the four of them stood up.

"Well, I did spend twenty-four hours stuck in a mausoleum with Amanda. When we weren't dying of heat, thirst and hunger or sleeping on a stone floor, she told me a lot about her wife Emily. Or...she called her Emi, actually."

"Aww, did the two of you become bosom buddies?" Phil teased as they began to follow the other guests back to the estate.



Dinner was held in the Terrace Room which was the largest room available. The tables were adorned with kelly green table clothes, the center pieces were tall crystal vases filled with an array of colorful flowers, continuing with the gay pride theme that began at the gazebo. Following dinner, the cake was cut and pieces were distributed to the guests by the wait staff.

There had been a few last minute RSVPs from guests who couldn't make it to the wedding or reception so there was no trouble at all finding a place for the four guys to sit. They were actually seated rather close to the head table as it turned out. Both Sam and the other maid of honor, Chantel, gave their little speeches about their respective bride, with Chantel's being very sweet and heartfelt while Sam's was laced with more humor and slight allusions the the last two days without actually admitting anything that had happened.

When all the food was cleared, some people remained relaxed in their seats, drinking alcoholic beverages, teas or coffees and talking with each other. Most moved to Grand Ballroom where dancing was.

Amanda and Emily had the first dance and then came their dances with their fathers. Everyone was welcomed to join in for the next song. Phil, Stu and Doug seemed to begin mingling, drinks in hand and even dancing to some of the more uptempo songs. Alan, on the other hand had started to duck out of the ballroom, his cell phone pressed to his ear.

"Al, where are you going?" Phil asked.

Alan looked up, covering the phone with his hand. "This is an important call I have to take."

Phil just raised and eyebrow and shook his head. Casually, he began to maneuver his way through the crowded dance floor. Melissa Ethridge's song 'I'm The Only One' was being played by the DJ when he found Sam. He tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around to face him, smiling.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hey," he replied. "I liked your speech."

"Thanks. I hadn't actually prepared anything. I was totally winging it."

"Still liked it." He immediately curled an arm around her waist and pulled her close up against him taking her left hand in his right as he pulled her further toward the middle of the dance floor where her sister and sister-in-law were also dancing.

"I take it you'd like this dance," Sam jested with a slight chuckle.

"Damn straight. You are my girlfriend after all."

"Oh," she muttered, her eyes wide with realization. "That's right, you outted our torrid affair to my mother when we first got here."

"Hope you didn't mind," he spoke as he swayed them side by side. The way he was able to move his hips like that was practically illegal.

Sam shrugged. "Actually, no I didn't." Leaning in closer, she pressed her chin to his chest and looked up at him a bit more as he looked down. "I'm thinking that maybe it would be alright after all if we jumped that gun. I mean, as long as that's okay with you..."

Phil grinned. "Oh, definitely okay."

"Good." Without warning, she pulled her hand from his hand and brought it up along with her other one to grip both sides of Phil's face, pulling it down to her level so that she could plant a deep kiss on his lips.



The reception went on for a few more hours of dancing when Alan began to walk toward the DJ and whispered something in his ear. The DJ looked back with a curious expression on his face and let Alan take the microphone.

"Uh, can I have everyone's attention please?" he spoke. All eyes were immediately on him and he clammed up a little. "I, uh...you don't know me. But I know the bride, well...she...I met her at some point on Friday night till we lost her and my friend Doug, but...uh, from what I know she's a swell gal and her lesbian wife is lucky to have her," he winked at Amanda. Meanwhile, Stu facepalmed from where he was standing beside Doug and Phil, the latter who was standing behind Sam, his arms wrapped around her waist. "We met a pretty awesome guy on Friday, too, and even got to party with him and kinda babysat his pet bird. You're...um...all probably wondering what this has to do with anything...but he's here right now and wants to sing something for the happy couple. So, uh, congrats Amanda and...uh, whatever your bride's name is." Alan went to give the DJ back the microphone when he remembered one more thing. "Oh yeah, ladies and gentleman, and the gays and lesbians, please welcome...Billy Joel!"

Alan finally gave back the microphone and then stepped away from the DJ. A piano was being rolled into the ballroom, followed by Billy Joel who was met by exclaims of surprise, cheers and clapping. Once the piano was in place, he took a seat at the bench.

"Congratulations to the beautiful brides," he spoke into the microphone that the DJ had walked over and held for him. Billy Joel then went right into singing 'She's Always A Woman To Me.' "She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes. She can ruin your faith with her casual lies. And she only reveals what she wants you to see. She hides like a child but she's always a woman to me..."

Phil pulled Sam in for the umpteenth dance that night; the only time she didn't dance with him was when he stepped aside to let her dance with her father twice and even with Stu once.

"She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you. She can ask for the truth but she'll never believe you. And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free. Yeah she steals like a thief but she's always a woman to me," Billy Joel continued to sing. "Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants. She's ahead of her time. Oh, and she never gives out and she never gives in. She just changes her mind. And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden. Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding. But she brings out the best and the worst you can be. Blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always a woman to me."

"You're a great dancer," Sam complimented Phil.

"You're not so bad yourself," he quipped, claiming her lips for another kiss.

Meanwhile, Billy Joel sang on, his voice and music wafting throughout the ballroom. "Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants. She's ahead of her time. Oh, and she never gives out and she never gives in. She just changes her mind. She is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel. She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool. But she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree. And the most she will do is throw shadows at you. But she's always a woman to me..."



Following Billy Joel's performance, he found his way to the two brides, wished them well and kissed them both, then walked over to Stu, Doug, Phil and Sam. Alan was trailing behind Billy Joel.

"How come you're here?" Phil asked incredulously. "Did Alan ask you or something?"

Alan shook his head. "No, he called me."

"Seriously?" Doug questioned.

Billy Joel nodded. "Yeah, I called him because I found something I think you were looking for," he announced pulling from his pants pocket a stunning diamond ring that was ornate but not over the top gaudy.

"Omigod!" Sam squealed. "The ring!"

"Shit," Phil muttered, taking it from Billy Joel. "You found the ring? I guess we don't have to buy Chow's wife a new one now. We can just give this baby back to him."

Stu raised an eyebrow, a little confused. "Just curious...where exactly did you find it?"

"Ruby shit it out this morning." Ruby being his macaw, of course.

Phil's face immediately fell as he eyed the ring in between his thumb and index finger.

Billy Joel noticed the expression change and laughed. "No, no, it's okay. I sterilized it. Ruby must've swallowed it at some point."

The four guys and Sam all looked between each other and began to let out laughs and exchange smiles.

Phil then held the ring up to Sam. "Well, we could still always buy Chow's wife's another ring. I mean, I did steal this fair and square for you."

Sam smirked but pushed the ring away. "Time to go back to not jumping the gun."

He shrugged. "Hey, it was worth a shot."

Without warning, Alan grabbed Sam by the hand when The Culture Club's 'Karma Chameleon' began to play from the sound system. "Come dance with me, Sam." She didn't have much choice but oblige.

While the pair began to dance on the dance floor, Stu nudged Phil, looking down at the ring still in the taller man's hands and then up at Phil's face. "Were you actually going to go through with your LSD-induced, blackout drunk proposal?"

Phil shrugged. "Maybe I was..." he smirked, putting the ring in his pocket. "Maybe I wasn't. You'll never know, Dr. Faggot."