The Hangover: Part III

11 DAYS LATER...

Stu was walking side by side with his wife Lauren into the backyard of Phil's house via the driveway. He was carrying a large bowl of some sort of salad with a tray of some sort of dessert, covered with cling wrap, balancing precariously on top of the bowl of salad. Lauren looked like she was glowing; her hair was pulled up off her face in some sort of chignon hairstyle and wearing a yellow summer dress that allowed her considerable baby bump to not be so obvious. Rounding the corner to the patio behind the house, the Prices found Phil at the grill, cooking up burgers and hot dogs; a pair of grill tongs in his right hand and a beer in his left.

Phil glanced over at Stu and Lauren as they approached and grinned with a laugh. "Hey! Dr. Faggot, Mrs. Faggot, 'bout time..." Phil set the tongs down and went to give Lauren a hug. She really was great for Stu, and what made her such a great addition to their circle of friends is that she didn't take offense to how Phil had just referred to them like Stu did.

Stu just rolled his eyes and smirked, giving a nod of his head. "Phil."

"Hey Phil," Lauren smiled, then pointed at his beer once their hug ended. "What number is that?"

"Since I woke up or since I started grilling?" he teased. "No, this is my second. I can't be drunk around my kids, you shitting me?"

Sure enough, he gestured toward the back of the yard where a playset was set up. His twelve-year-old son Eli was running around with his baby sister Penny who was giggling incessantly, trying to catch up. Doug and Tracy's daughter Sarah was toddling behind Penny, also giggling.

"Hey Stu, Lauren," Doug greeted from the patio table a few feet away. His eyebrows were growing back but his face still looked a bit funny because of it. He was holding a beer in his hands also with Tracy seated beside him, nursing a can of Diet Coke. She tore her eyes away from the kids to smile up at the other couple.

"Hey," Stu replied. "Happy Fourth of July."

"Same to you."

Phil took a swig of his beer and glanced at everything Stu was carrying. "What'd you bring?"

"Lauren," Stu began with pride in his voice, "my little Martha Stewart, made a delicious shrimp pasta salad and a homemade rhubarb cherry crisp for dessert."

"Damn, woman," Phil chuckled. "Can I steal you away from Stu? Maybe borrow you on the weekends?"

Lauren just laughed. "I'll hafta check my schedule."

Phil smiled and gestured toward the sliding glass door that headed into the house. "Food goes inside to keep the bugs away."

Stu nodded and turned to Lauren to give her a kiss, craning his neck over the bowl and tray he had in his hands. "Save me a seat at the table." Parting his lips from hers, he walked into the house and turned right into the kitchen where he found Sam standing at the center island, chopping up carrots and celery for a vegetable tray. "Hey, Sam."

Sam turned and grinned. "Ooh, you brought more food. Nothing with nuts, I hope."

"No, no nuts. Lauren usually makes this great almond dessert with cherries but I told her we had to keep you in mind 'cause we all prefer you amongst the living." He smirked at her and placed the bowl down on the counter and moved the tray off and set it beside the bowl.

"Aww, thanks."

Stu just stood there for a moment, pressing his lower back into the counter and watching her. "So, uh...how's not jumping the gun going?" he smirked.

Sam looked back up from her veggie tray and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well...the first few days back from New York were very slow. I think we all just needed to recuperate from that weekend and get our bearings."

"Tell me about it," Stu remarked, then shivering. "I'm still having nightmares about Billy Joel's bird."

Sam laughed. "On Friday, though, after I left work, Phil met me for coffee at Starbucks and, well..." she gestured to the kitchen. "I've more or less been here every day since."

"In the kitchen?" he joked.

"No, doofus. Here, at his house."

Stu caught her eye. "Yeah, I know. Phil already told me."

"He did?"

Stu nodded and pushed off the counter, walking up to the center island to snatch a carrot off the tray and popping it into his mouth. "He called me at the office on Monday and told me you two decided to say 'fuck it' and throw caution to the wind."

"More or less."

"Hey, Sam, is there a plunger anywhere?" Alan came walking into the kitchen from the hallway that led into the kitchen but also led toward the front of the house where the entrance hall and staircase were. He looked between Sam and Stu, who hadn't seen the other man since they all returned to LA and noticed that his beard was starting to grow back in.

"In the closet across the hall, I think. If not there, I recommend checking the bathroom upstairs."

"Okay, thanks." Alan replied, then gave a quick glance at Stu. "Hiya Stu, Happy Independence Day to you."

"Hi Alan. I see your beard is coming back in."

Alan touched his hand to his chin and nodded. "I didn't like how my face felt without it. I felt naked." Without another word, Alan disappeared out of the kitchen again and Stu grimaced at Sam.

"I like how you didn't bother asking him why he needed a plunger."

"Sometimes it's better not to know," Sam commented, looking up at him with a knowing grin toying at the corners of her lips.

"Ain't that the truth."



The sky was growing dark and the guys were standing around talking with drinks in their hands. Tracy and Lauren were the only ones sitting at the patio table; Sarah asleep already in her mother's lap. Eli and Penny were playing with sparklers that were being supplied to them by Alan everytime the one they were holding died out.

The sliding glass door to the back of the house slid shut as Sam walked across the patio toward the grassy part of the yard where she approached the guys with something small in her hands. She smiled as she joined the four of them and almost instantly, Phil curled an arm around her.

Pressing his lips to his temple, he tried to peer down at whatever it was she was holding. "Whatcha got there?"

Sam held out her hand, revealing a digital camera.

"Oh, no," Stu groaned. "Not again."

Doug just laughed. "Is that what I think it is?"

"If you think it's a camera full of pictures we took on that crazy night, then yes. It's exactly what you think it is."

Phil snatched it from Sam's hands. "These things I gotta see."

Sam snatched it right back. "Don't man-handle my camera."

"Where did you find your camera?" Stu wondered.

"It was in my purse that Amanda had. I forgot about it until we came back home last week. When I remembered it I figured I'd wait till the rest of you were all together so we can look at it."

Alan stretched his arm out to tap Sam on the shoulder. "Can, uh...can I borrow the memory card to print copies?"

Stu scowled. "No. No, we do what we always do. We look at these once and we delete them."

"Yeah, I don't do that," Alan commented.

"He seriously doesn't," Phil chuckled. "He has the pictures from Bangkok in his room."

Stu's eyes widened in horror, knowing very well what most of those pictures entailed. "We had a deal, Alan."

"It's a good thing you didn't come with us to see Alan before we left for New York," Doug mirrored Phil's chuckle. "You would've flipped."

Pursing his lips together, Stu began to fume silently, but tried pushing his anger to the back of his mind and ignore it. "Fine, fine. Let's see the damned pictures. But," he eyed Alan, "we seriously delete these ones."

"I make no promises," came Alan's retort.

They all began to huddle around Sam, looking down at the camera as fireworks began to shoot off into the sky from the distance, a barrage of color and explosive sounds. The moment she turned on the camera and went to the first picture, everyone pulled back, winced, bit their lip or exclaimed in horror.

"Oh, fuck me," Phil muttered, a smile hinting in his voice.



Stu dry-humping a mannequin from behind in a sex shop.

Phil pretending to dry-hump Stu as he dry-humped the mannequin.

Alan holding a green dildo in his hands and grinning.

Alan and Sam sword fighting with the dildos.

Phil holding a finger to his mouth while Sam and Amanda put dozens of dildos into their purses; the store clerk in the background being distracted by a few of Amanda's bridesmaids flashing him.

Alan laying on a display of broken liquor bottles, asleep.

Doug pointing and laughing at Alan.

Vinny, the liquor store clerk, shouting and Phil handing over his credit card.

Stu swinging from the chandelier in the suite's living room.

Sam sitting in Phil's lap, sucking on his neck while he smiled lazily and gave a thumbs up to the camera.

Alan somehow sticking the dildos to the wall.

Billy Joel at the door with Ruby the macaw in a cage, Alan standing happily behind him.

Billy Joel playing something on the piano with Doug laying on the piano, listening, while two of the bridesmaids hold lit lighters.

Alan setting his suitcase on fire in a fireplace.

Sam kissing Billy Joel.

Billy Joel getting shoved by Phil.

Billy Joel punching Phil in the eye.

Billy Joel and Phil hugging it out.

Amanda's bridesmaids holding Stu.

Amanda in a bathroom with Alan, shaving off his beard.

Doug holding the beard shavings to his face, one of the bridesmaids laughing.

The backs of Alan, Stu, Doug and Amanda walking down the street with beer bottles in their hand.

Phil kissing Sam's ear on the subway.

Sam's hands down Phil's pants on the subway train.

Alan pole dancing on the subway train, Amanda putting a dollar in his waistband.

Stu pole dancing on the subway train, some creepy old guy shoving a handful of twenty dollar bills into his waistband.

Stu holding the money up to the camera and grinning.

Doug getting a lap dance from a stripper, but holding his hand over his eyes.

Amanda getting a lap dance.

Mr. Chow and his wife hugging Stu and Alan.

Stu, Mr. Chow and Doug in a group hug.

Mr. Chow doing a line of cocaine, Alan just staring.

Phil and Sam under a table making out, Mr. Chow sitting there drinking a glass of amber liquid.

A stripper giving Alan a back rub while he's texting.

A pair of men's feet with pants pooled around the ankles, and a pair of women's feet underneath a bathroom stall.

Phil walking sheepishly out of the bathroom stall, part of Sam seen behind him.

Phil holding Mrs. Chow's hand and smiling drunkenly at her.

Phil kissing Mrs. Chow's hand.

Phil with Mrs. Chow's ring between his teeth, grinning, with Mrs. Chow none the wiser in the background.

Stu carrying Sam in his arms down a street, Alan doing the same to Doug.

Sam on top of a bar, dancing.

Sam taking her dress off.

Sam standing there in just her bra and panties.

Amanda climbing up onto the bar with Sam's help.

Both sisters in their bra and panties.

Alan holding their purses, and staring.

Sam pouring drinks into people's mouths.

Phil on the bar, dancing with the sisters.

Sam and Phil grinding together.

Alan laying on the bar with Amanda off the bar, laughing at something.

Amanda doing a body shot off Alan.

Some guy giving Amanda his number on a napkin, her frowning at it.

Phil pouring liquor on the bar.

Alan handing Phil a lighter.

Phil setting the bar on fire.

Sam's scared face at the flames.

Stu screaming.

Stu crying.

Alan, Phil, Sam, Stu and Amanda in a dark alley.

Sam putting on Amanda's dress, Amanda putting on Sam's dress, with Alan just staring.

Phil kissing Sam.

Phil on bended knee, presenting Mrs. Chow's ring to Sam.

Sam on her knees also, kissing Phil.

Phil and Sam, standing side by side, showing off the ring on her left ring finger, Alan in the background texting.

Alan hugging Phil and Sam at the same time.

Alan in the driver's seat of a yellow cab, Sam pulling a woman out of the cab's backseat.

Sam being punched in the jaw by the woman.

Sam laying on the ground beside the cab, Doug hunched over her trying to help her up with Phil yelling at the woman.

Stu, Phil, Sam and Doug in the backseat of the yellow cab while Alan's driving it, smiling at the camera.

Alan giving the bum from Brooklyn a hundred dollar bill.

Alan getting punched in the gut.

Alan puking.

Phil, Stu and Amanda laughing.

Alan punching the bum in the face.

Alan with the bum in a headlock.

Crazy Carl pointing a broken bottle at Alan.

Stu screaming at the blood soaking through Alan's T-shirt, Alan looking perplexed.

Phil and the bum wrestling Crazy Carl to the ground.

Alan taking off his his blazer off.

Alan taking his shirt off, revealing his bleeding gash.

Alan, wearing his blazer again and giving the bum his shirt, the bum smiling appreciatively.

Doug laying against a headstone, sleeping, with Phil laughing next to him, holding a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Doug being carried into the mausoleum by Phil, Stu, Alan and Amanda.

Alan placing his blazer in the doorway of the mausoleum.

Phil leaning forward, gripping a headstone and laughing.

Stu waving his hand in front of his face, fingers wide apart and grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Phil kissing Sam, Lower Manhattan at night lit up behind them in the distance.

Stu driving the yellow cab, Alan in the backseat laying across Sam's lap, Phil pressing Alan's ascot to his wound.

Alan on a gurney, smiling as he's getting stitched up by Dr. Kerwin.

Phil and Sam showing off Mrs. Chow's ring to Dr. Kerwin.

Alan shaking hands with an Indian man in a turban, pointing to the yellow cab in some taxi company's garage.

Sam and Amanda yelling at each other on the street.

Amanda crying, Alan hugging her.

Sam crying and pushing Alan away from her.

Sam and Amanda hugging.

Phil holding Sam's hand, walking in the middle of Times Square.

Sam and Phil sitting beside each other at a diner booth with Amanda, Stu and Alan on the other side [photo probably taken by waitress]

Stu, shirtless, in the hotel suite dining room, taking off his pants.

Stu wearing his tie around his head like Rambo, flexing his muscles.

Alan's bare ass.

Phil lying in bed, Sam beside him and both probably naked underneath the bedsheet Phil is pulling up.

Phil's hand out from underneath the covers, flipping the bird at whoever was taking the picture.

Ruby, the macaw, perched on the bedside table and leaning over Mrs. Chow's ring laying there.