The Hangover: Part III

"You look like a pirate."

Sam looked up from the purse on her lap to find Alan, still only in his jockstrap, staring back at her as if studying a painting at an art museum. On her shoulder, the scarlet macaw remained perched. It hadn't left her since the kitchen incident. She raised an eyebrow at Alan and then looked back down into the purse, digging through the bottomless pit that it was. She pulled out a wallet, a brush, a small makeup pouch, keys, an opened package of Orbit spearmint gum, a napkin with a phone number written on it...

...and the insignia from the club on one corner of the napkin!

"Jackpot!" Sam announced from where she was sitting on the edge of the bed in one of the two extra bedrooms that Doug was supposed to be using.

Footsteps echoed in the foyer outside the bedroom, with Phil appearing seconds later in the open doorway. He glanced over at Alan who was standing near the window, taking turns from looking at the scenery below to looking over at the macaw on Sam's shoulder. She was holding up the napkin for Phil to see. He furrowed his brow and shrugged.

"It's some guy's name with a phone number," he remarked with a shrug.

Sam shook the napkin. "Not the number. The symbol." She pointed to the insignia with her free hand. "It's the name of a club we might've been at last night. We should try going back there and seeing if a bartender or someone remembers seeing us and if my sister and Doug left with us and, if so, what time that was at."

"I called downstairs to the front desk," came Stu's voice a mere second before he walked into the bedroom behind Phil. His ear had stopped bleeding but there was dried blood all on it. He had also since found some clean clothes from his suitcase to put on; settling on a pair of gray, cotton khakis and a blue, button-up, short-sleeved cotton shirt. "I described what Doug and your sister looked like. Well, as best as I can remember what she looked like from last night. I asked if they remember what time we came in this morning and if Doug and Amanda were with us."

Phil turned and looked at Stu. "And? What'd they say?"

"It was a new desk clerk on shift. She started at eight and doesn't remember us, but we could ask to see the security footage."

Sam, Stu and Phil all took turns looking at each other.

"What are we waiting for?" Sam asked, standing up and leaving the purse on the bed.

"Don't you wanna bring your purse?" Phil asked.

"It's not mine. It's my sister's. I couldn't find mine."

"Alan, you're gonna need to put some clothes on," Stu said.

"I don't have any. This is all I could find, remember?" Alan pointed to his jockstrap. "My suitcase is missing."

Stu sighed and threw his hands up in the air before dropping them down against his legs. "Come on, Al. We'll see if there's anything of mine you can fit into."

Alan looked at Stu and smiled. "That's awfully generous of you, Stu." He walked over to the dentist, letting himself be ushered out of the room toward the second extra bedroom. His bare ass followed as well, leaving Phil and Sam with the unfortunate sight.

Phil looked down at his feet, cocking his head to one side when he spotted some sort of pink material sticking out from underneath the bed by Sam's feet. "What's that?" he asked, not necessarily expecting an answer as he took a few steps closer and crouched down. He stretched his arm out and grabbed onto the material, pulling it out. "It's a dress."

Sam gazed down at it. "That's what Amanda was wearing last night."

"Alright, so your sister is somewhere without her purse, phone and clothes? Maybe she got picked up by some cops for public nudity," he suggested with a smirk, handing the dress up to Sam before pushing himself back up to his feet.

"That's so funny," Sam snickered sarcastically. "I guess I can wear this until I find my own clothes and then you can have yours back."

Phil just looked at her. A blur of something flickered in his mind's eye. He couldn't figure out what it was; if it was a memory, a flashback or just a random thought. It felt as if he was seeing that dress on her already. But it was...what? He couldn't remember anything else, if it was a memory at all. He scrunched up his face and turned to look at the door. "I'll, uh...be in the living room. I'll leave you to change in here."

Sam nodded. Phil shut the bedroom door behind him as she looked at the macaw still on her shoulder.

"You have to get down so I can change, you know?" She smirked and held her free hand out, clicking her tongue to the roof of her mouth. The macaw inched down to her hand and she walked over to a chair in the room so it could perch on the back of it. "Good boy," she cooed.



The four of them -- Stu, Phil, Alan and Sam -- all stood in the private elevator for their suite, headed down to the first level of the hotel. Phil had taken his shirt and pants back from Sam but decided not to wear them again. Like Stu, he changed into something clean; a pair of white chinos and a gray V-neck T-shirt. Both were thin material and cool since it was summer in the city after all. It might not be Los Angeles hot out there, but any place in the US during the summer could be sweltering. The sun was shining outside and there didn't seem to be a cloud anywhere in sight from what he could tell by looking out the windows.

As he leaned against the back of the elevator, Phil couldn't help himself in staring briefly at Sam's backside in the pink dress of her sister's she was wearing. It was a little tight on her, which meant it hugged every curve like a second skin. Phil couldn't even remember what her sister looked like except that she was blonde. While waiting for the elevator to open they had already discussed and agreed that the last thing any of them remembered was Sam sitting with them at their table at the restaurant and eventually Amanda and her bridesmaids joined them. A waiter had told them it was okay to put both tables together. That was about nine-thirty or ten the night before.

Phil had one arm crossed over his chest and the other propped up so that he could pick at his thumb nail with his teeth as he continued to steal glances at Sam's ass. During this, he felt Stu nudge him and they locked eyes. Stu gave him a knowing, chastising look to which Phil simply frowned and found a spot on the wall above Sam's head to occupy him till they reached the ground floor.

"So where do you think the bird came from?" Alan wondered. He was wearing Stu's red swim trunks he had brought just in case they decided to take a swim in a hotel pool at some point. He also wore a plain, green T-shirt of Stu's which didn't fit quite well as his stomach hung out from underneath it. Not to mention it looked like his arms were suffocating. However, Alan didn't seem to mind. His hands were propped on his hips and he was staring up at the floor numbers as they lit up in reverse order.

"We probably stole it from someone rich and powerful, possibly a drug lord," Stu answered nonchalantly.

"Is that another thing you guys do?" Sam asked, turning to look back at her boss.

"Steal animals?" Off Sam's nod, he continued. "In Vegas it was Mike Tyson's tiger. In Bangkok it was a Russian's drug dealing monkey."

Sam raised her brow and smirked. After another moment, she let out a laugh. Her laugh was one of those hearty, infectous types. It made Alan look at her and start to smile and laugh a bit as well. Phil and Stu looked at each other and then also began to laugh.

"Who knew Dr. Price was such a wild child?" Sam teased.

"He's got a demon in him," Alan offered up.

"It's true. I do," Stu concurred.

Phil smirked and dropped both his arms to shove his hands in his pockets just as the elevator stopped and the doors opened up with a ding sound. Alan filed out first, followed by Stu as Phil walked behind Sam, looking down at the area of her skin where her neck met her shoulder. He could almost imagine what her skin smelled like. He blinked, and wondered where those thoughts were coming from. Not just in the sense that, yes, he was no longer bound to any woman, legally or otherwise, but in the sense that she was this odd beauty who seemed to hold her own with the guys and seemed to be able to keep her shit together while a normal person might've freaked out with waking up after a blackout to find a hotel suite trashed, their sister missing the day before her wedding and tropical bird attacking their boss in his underwear. And there was that possibility they might've had sex the night before. But it was just a possibility.



"That's us!" Stu exclaimed happily, pointing at the small black and white screen in front of them.

They were standing in the security office. One of the guards, a heavyset black man named Anthony, had gone backwards in their tapes from a half hour prior to them all entering the office until they found the footage they wanted; footage from the security camera that was aimed at the ground level private elevator they had just stepped off minutes before. On the screen, the timestamp stated it was 6:07 AM. Stu was shown walking ahead of everyone else, moving his arms around as if conducting an invisible orchestra, followed by Alan, who was wearing his pants but no shirt, ascot or blazer and was giving Sam's sister Amanda a piggyback.

"There. Amanda was with us when we got in this morning. And that explains why I can't find my dress," Sam spoke. "She's wearing the dress I was wearing last night." On the screen Amanda had her arms around Alan's neck and her legs around his waist leaning back slightly in a dark dress that hung shapelessly on her.

Alan chuckled at the sight. "I do give great piggyback rides. Ask anyone."

Phil just shook his head and grinned a little until the next people entered on screen. "Hello there," he muttered, folding his arms and staring in, not necessarily disbelief, but surprise, maybe?

The footage showed Phil walking backward, peeling off the blazer he was wearing while struggling not to break a frenzied liplock he had going on with Sam.

Sam's eyes widened. She turned her face from the small screen and met Phil's gaze which bordered between sheepish and amused. Her cheeks were turning a deep shade of pink, deciding to look away from him. Normally she didn't mind public displays of affection where herself was concerned, but this was Phil, her boss' hot best friend she had a bit of a crush on. She had never planned on verbally admitting that, but there they were, about six hours before, kissing and groping each other like their lives depended on it.

Alan turned and looked at the pair, sniggering. "You two were caught making out." Then he grew serious. "You probably had sex, too."

Phil straightened up, folding his arms across his chest. "Then how come you were naked in the bed with her?" he asked defensively, ignoring Anthony the security guard's curious gaze.

"You said I could bunk with you," Alan replied. "And I lost my clothes."

Sam gestured toward the screen. "He was missing his shirt and blazer when we got back this morning. Sometime between then and when we woke up, he lost his pants and his jockstrap ended up on the chandelier."

"What kinda freaky shit you people be doin' up in that suite?" Anthony questioned, looking at all four of them like they were exhibitionists of some sort.

"We live an alternati―" Alan began but was cut off by Stu who was still focused on the screen.

"There's no Doug," he muttered. "Doug wasn't with us when we got back." He then looked back at the others. "You know, one of these days we're gonna have to handcuff him to one of us so we don't forget him amidst these fucking shenanigans of ours."

It was hard to tell if Stu was trying to make light of the situation or about to freak out again. Phil placed his hand on Stu's back for reassurance either way.

"It's okay. We always find Doug or he calls us. We just gotta backtrack, look at all the clues we have. When I was changing, I found a receipt in my back pants pocket from a liquor store in Harlem from about ten-thirty last night. Apparently I spent five hundred fucking dollars, but that's a clue."

"You spent five hundred dollars?" Stu questioned.

"Explains all the empty bottles and cans upstairs," Sam remarked.

Phil gestured to her for the input she offered. "Do I like that I spent that much money? Fuck no. Do I like that it's a clue? Fuck yeah." He then looked at Sam. "And Sam found a napkin from some club in her purse. It has the club's name, and there's some guy's name and number."

"It's Amanda's purse, actually."

"Whatever. I'm saying we have something to go on," he spoke. "All is not lost."

Stu stared at Phil for a moment, then let out a sigh. "Fine. Let's try the liquor store first. That seems about the time frame of where we might have gone after the restaurant."

"See?" Phil smiled. "That's more like it." He looked at Anthony and offered his hand in a shake. "Thanks, man. If you find anything else on that footage, would you mind giving us a call?"

"What am I? Your fuckin' butler?"

Phil's smile fell. "No, I just thought that it would be a kind gesture for your fellow man," Phil snipped a little.

"I'll kiss you if you let us know if you see anything else on the footage," Sam offered, smiling sweetly, surprising Phil and Stu. And Anthony.

Anthony looked at her, considered and then shrugged. A sheepish smirk began to toy at the corners of his mouth. Smacking his lips, he looked away then back up at her. "I always did have that soft spot for you white women." He paused. "A'ight. I tell ya what: I get a kiss, and I'll comb through the footage as far back as I can. And if I see anything from when you first left the hotel till when you came back, I'll call ya."

Phil's eyes were on Sam as she hesitated for a moment. "Go on, work those feminine wiles," he urged. And some part of him felt jealous. He had visual evidence of kissing her, but no mental recollection of it. He wondered if it had been nice. Amazing, even. Maybe it sucked but he was so in the drunken moment he didn't give two shits.

Sam took a step closer and leaned forward, placing a hand on each of the arm rests to Anthony's chair. She continued her smirk as she leaned even closer and pressed her lips gingerly to Anthony's. As she kissed him, Alan stood back, watching her again like he was studying a painting. Stu raised his eyebrows, feeling as if he was a voyeur or something, while Phil simply felt that small pang of jealousy.

As Anthony began to reach his hand around to cup Sam's ass, Phil stepped in. He could see Sam's eyes open in surprise so he grabbed Anthony's hand away and pulled Sam off. "Alright, you got your kiss. No need for grab-hands."

"Sorry, but your girl offered the kiss. I can't be held responsible for my reactions," Anthony laughed.

"She's not my girl," Phil insisted.

Sam looked at him; a look he couldn't decipher. She stepped back and stood beside Alan as Stu moved toward a desk and grabbed a Post-It and a pen. He leaned forward to write something down before handing it to Anthony. "Here's Phil's cell number," he pointed over his shoulder at Phil with the pen. "Call it if and when you find anything, please."

"Why you not givin' me your own number?"

"I found my phone in a bowl of cereal this morning."

Anthony smacked his lips again and laughed out loud. "Stupid."

Stu just nodded. "Okay, then." He looked at his friends. "Let's go."

As they filed out of the security office, the door shut heavily behind them, Anthony still laughing. The four looked at each other for a moment before Phil spoke up, taking the role of leader in this mess once again. "Alright. First thing's first. Sam, you wanna go back upstairs and grab your sister's purse and cell phone? We'll need that napkin and the extra phone in case someone calls and knows where your sister is or if we need to use it." He then gestured to Stu, Alan and himself. "We'll wait down here in the lobby for you. You have a card key?"

Sam shook her head. "Why would I have a card key? Not my hotel suite, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Phil replied. For a moment he had forgotten her being in New York was for an entirely different situation. He patted his pants, but had nothing. "Shit. Stu? Do you have a card key with you?"

Stu rolled his eyes and pulled his card key out of his pocket. "Don't lose it."

Phil took the key and looked to Sam. "Tell you what, I'll come with you. You get your sister's shit and I'll look for our card keys. We'll meet back down here in a few minutes, then grab a cab to that liquor store." Even though he was mainly looking at Sam, the last sentence was directed at Alan and Stu as well.

Sam began to head back toward their private elevator and pressed the up button as Phil followed after her; the other two guys disappeared toward the direction of the main lobby, muttering back and forth about something that garnered a disgusted look from Stu. Once the elevator doors opened, Sam and Phil stepped inside, with him pressing the button for the floor their suite was on.

"So," he spoke after a moment. "That was some kiss we had a few hours ago, hmm?" He was smirking, his arms once again folded across his chest.

Sam looked up at him and he met the look, still smirking. "Looks like we enjoyed it."

"Yep." Phil turned his head to look in front of him. A part of him wanted to just kiss her there, to see what it would be like, but the other part was a gentleman and wasn't about to risk a possible slap to the face.

Sam looked forward as well. "Too bad we can't remember if we enjoyed it or not."

As she grinned, Phil brought his eyes back to her, staring at her profile, the urge in him growing stronger. It was an awful fight within him. He didn't know if it was his divorce signing two days prior that sparked the renewed spirit in him to feel openly attracted to another woman or that in some way he wanted to stick it to Stephanie as if showing her he could move on too. Either way, he felt conflicted.

"What if I kissed you right now?"

Sam shrugged, avoiding eye contact with him. "We'd find out if we enjoy kissing each other or not."

Phil took a step closer to her and turned his body more to face her. He saw the way her cheeks began to redden and it amused him. It was her tell that she was intrigued by the notion. Slowly, he placed his left hand on the wall behind her and his other hand fell to her waist. He peered down her face and she still didn't look up at him. She merely bit her lips together and maintained a steady breathing rhythm.

Gradually his face neared hers, but instead of going in for the direct approach, he turned his face so that his nose brushed her jawline and then brought the side of his mouth against the side of hers until her lips began to part and she began to turn her face toward his.

Their lips were a feather's distance apart, about to make full on contact when the elevator lurched to a stop and the doors slid open with the ding sound. This snapped them out of the moment, thereby ruining it. They turned to look at the doors and moved apart from one another, gathering themselves before exiting the elevator and pretending nothing had almost happened.