Love Transcends All

It has been 5 months since I read that letter. At the time, it felt as though my whole life depended on it. It’s ironic, isn’t it, to think that a piece of paper can make or break your life. For me, that letter is a blessing. It’s what you call a blessing in disguise. I was shaken by the death of Jesse 14 months ago and the fact that he died because of AIDS frightened me to my core. You see, almost 4 years ago, I was introduced to heroin by Jesse.

I was doing heroin on a weekly basis. And like all drugs, it began to take its toll on my body. I didn’t look as healthy as I was before I started using. I refused to look at my own reflection in the mirror because I was disgusted at the sight looking back at me. I felt guilty doing it, but there were times when I felt like I’d die if I didn’t do it. I tried quitting but I’d fall back into the same path; so I thought what’s the point of trying when I’d fail anyways?

That was until 2 years ago when I met him. Arin. Thinking about him instantly puts a smile on my face. I was all alone, doing this wretched thing on a weekly basis and I was so sure that one day I’ll end up all alone and die without knowing the wonders of “love”. And then this kid comes into my life and that chance meeting changed all my views on life.

I didn’t believe in sappy, loveydovey things such as “love at first sight” but my God, I fell hard for Arin after our 2 hour conversation over a few cups of coffee. At the time, I knew it was too soon to say that I was falling in love with him, but I did. I fell in love with him. He was unlike all the other guys that I’ve met – not that I’ve met a lot of guys – he didn’t judge me by my appearance, he didn’t throw a look of disgust when he saw the scars on my arms, and he didn’t even say nasty remarks when I admitted I was a drug addict.

He did something that I didn’t expect him to do since he was still a stranger to me at the time. He held my hand, caressed it lightly and said, “We all have our flaws, Lis,” calling me by the nickname he’d given me for himself. “It’s just a matter of not letting our flaws get the best of us. And I won’t let that control you.”

After about a year of friendship, we started dating. And it was weird for me, because I’ve never dated anyone before. I was always the girl who was “one of the boys” and whenever I go out with my guy friends (which includes Jesse), we’d sit somewhere and smoke up. But in comes Arin and I felt this strong urge to ditch my old habits behind.

Arin and I went through a period where we’d argue every day. At one point he had enough and he had to drag me to rehab three times. Funny thing was, I felt so angry at him for doing so. I punched and kicked him but him being stronger than me, just forced me to go to rehab. And when I found out Jesse died of AIDS, I thought the whole world was crumbling down. Not only did I put my life on the line, but I put Arin’s life on the line too. I thought to myself, okay I’ll probably die soon but please don’t let my stupidity take Arin’s life too.

But what I meant when I said the test results were a blessing in disguise was not just because both Arin and I were tested negative for AIDS. But also because seconds after we read the test results, Arin, being the smartass that he has always been, decided to pop the question to me.

If there’s a list of the most romantic proposals of all time, that would not have been it.

So here I am, lying in the arms of the man I’ve come to love with all my being, the biggest dork on Earth who would never fail to put a smile on my face and all around the most amazing person I’ve met. Every day I have to pinch myself just to be sure I’m not dreaming. Sometimes I wonder what have I done to deserve the presence and the love of someone so amazing like him.

Looking at his sleeping form next to me, he had this contented look on his face as he breathed in and out evenly, deep in his dream world. I smiled to myself and silently thanked God for blessing me with this man. I gently wrapped my arms around his bare abdomen, rested my head on his chest and snuggled closer.