Simple Kind of Life

Avery worked her fingers against Lili’s scalp, lathering the shampoo into a thick foam. The child sat happily in the tub, a washcloth in one hand and her trusty sidekick Barbie in the other. The doll was old and worn; her once shiny blonde hair was dull and jagged from one too many experimental trims and her face was a nearly faded away, but Liliana would never give her up. She was a loyal kid.

For the past three days, Avery had been trying to breach the subject of her father but she didn’t know how. When James left, Lili was very confused. She didn’t understand the situation and it frightened her to see James act so violently. Avery explained that her father was sick and he had to go away until he was better. The explanation seemed to smooth things over for the child, but it presented a new problem for Avery. Every day, Lili asked if her daddy was feeling better and if he’d be coming home. And every day, Avery had to tell her no. At first, the toddler would cry and throw massive tantrums. But over time, the questions became less and the outbursts disappeared. Perhaps she grew accustomed to life without her dad.

And now Avery was questioning her judgment. Was it really smart to reintroduce James into Lili’s life? The last thing the mother wanted to do was reopen wounds for her little girl if James isn’t able to stay sober. It was crushing the first time around and Avery would rather die than cause her daughter that much pain again.

Avery tenderly blocked the girl’s eyes as she poured water over her head to rinse out the shampoo. “Lil, how would you feel about seeing daddy?”

The child froze, putting the Barbie and washcloth down. “Daddy? Is he better now?”

Avery wasn’t sure how to answer that as she rung Lili’s hair out. “He’s getting there, Squeaks. Do you want to go see him today?”

She rubbed at her eyes and nodded. “Yes. Can we go right now?”

Avery chuckled. “After your bath.”

Lili pulled away from Avery and stood, splashing water around. “I’m clean, let’s go.”

The woman shook her head. “Sit down, Liliana.”

It was a struggle, but Avery managed to finish up the bath and wrapped the child in her fuzzy pink robe.

“Do you think he’ll see how big I got?” She asked as Avery towel dried her hair. “

Avery laughed. “I’m sure he’ll be shocked.”

“I wanna wear my dress that Grammy got me.” The child hurried over to her closet and picked out a lightweight sweater dress in a dark shade of gray. She paired it with pink leggings with purple polka dots on them. Once the child was dressed and her hair was combed, she practically dragged Avery out the front door to the car.

Avery immediately recognized James sitting on a bench when she pulled into a parking spot by the playground. Lili was already unbuckling herself from her car seat when her mother opened the car door. The woman placed the girl on the ground and she was off running as fast as her little legs would take her, leaving Avery to trail after her.

“Daddy!” She yelped, grabbing James’ attention from his cell phone. He met her halfway and scooped her up in his arms.

“Who are you?” He asked, trying to hold back a grin.

She laughed. “It’s me, daddy.”

“Me? I don’t know anyone named Me.”

She continued to giggle, showing off her dimples. “It’s Lili.”

His eyes grew wide. “You can’t be Lili. The Lili I know is just a baby and you’re a big girl.”

“No, it’s really me. I grew a whole three inches.” She held up three chubby fingers.

“Three inches? Wow, you’re gonna be a giant.” He held the child close, allowing her to nuzzle into his neck. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too. Don’t ever get sick again.” James’ eyes connected with Avery’s.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered against the top of her head. “I love you, kiddo.”

Avery wanted to feel angry towards her husband but in that precious moment between father and daughter, she couldn’t. Before his drug problem formed, he was an amazing dad. He was warm, affectionate, and always had time for her. But once he started on the pills, it was all downhill from there. His oxy habit started slowly and eventually morphed into an ugly heroin addiction. It was cheaper and he could easily buy it off the street rather than convincing doctors to prescribe him pills.

The man placed his daughter on the ground and moved in for a hug from his estranged wife. It seemed James and Lili were able to pick up where they left off but for Avery, it wasn’t so simple. She took a step back and placed her hand on his chest.

“Sorry.” He said sheepishly, a slight blush rising to his face. “No hugs. I can respect that.”

She managed a weak smile and shoved her hands in her jeans pockets. The awkward silence between them dissolved when Lili tugged at James’ arm.

“Push me on the swings, daddy.”

Avery sat on a nearby bench and watched a scene that was once familiar to her. They used to come to this park all the time as a family, but those days seemed so long ago. It felt surreal, like she was looking at a faded memory.

The sharp vibration of her cell phone made her jump, bringing Avery back to earth. She grabbed the device and smiled at the text from Jeff.

Dinner tonight?

It wasn’t roses, but it’ll do. Jeff didn’t seem like the roses type anyway. And their relationship certainly wasn’t on that level. Hell, she knew he had been in town for a few days before he even bothered to contact her.

Sure. What did you have in mind?

Avery slipped her cell phone into her pocket as James and Liliana approached, laughing about who knows what.

“How about we get something to eat?” He asked, peering down at Avery.

“I want hotdogs.” Lili threw in her two cents, which meant they were having hotdogs for lunch. They headed over to a vender, a heavyset mustached man named Luigi. He smiled brightly at the group.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you guys in a while! What can I get for you’s?”

“Hi Mr. Luigi,” Lili greeted him from her place in her father’s arm. “Three hotdogs please.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” The man placed three tinfoil wrapped dogs on the counter and James quickly handed him money.

“Thanks Lu.” Avery said as she grabbed the food and some plastic cutlery.

“No problem. Don’t be strangers, OK?”

The trio sat at an old wooden picnic table and Avery immediately went to work removing the bun from Lili’s hotdog and cutting the spongy meat into tiny pieces. James’ face contorted as she opened a few ketchup packets and squirted a dab of the crimson condiment on each individual piece of hotdog. The corner of Avery’s lip twitched, knowing exactly what he was going to say.

“I’m sorry, but I could have sworn I just saw you put ketchup on my child’s hotdog.” His honey hued eyes shined as he spoke.

“That’s because I did,” Avery was now decorating her own lunch with the offending condiment. “She likes ketchup on it.”

He sighed. “What? Since when?”

Lili rolled her eyes. “Since forever, dad.”

He looked over at Avery, a hint of remorse on his face. “I guess I’ve missed a lot.”

Ketchup was just the tip of the iceberg.

Another prickly sensation shot though Avery’s thigh, indicating another text.

My place? I’ll cook.

Avery raised an eyebrow. She highly doubted Jeff knew how to operate the stove let alone cook a meal.

We’re having cereal and toast for dinner?

“So who’s putting a smile on your face?”

Avery looked up from her phone at James, who was peering softly at her from his side of the picnic bench.

“Angie. She’s such an airhead.”

Perhaps she should feel guilty for lying, but it wasn’t any of his business. Not to mention she had no idea where she stood with Jeff. She knew she liked him, but did they really have a future? Until Avery knew for sure, she’d keep it to herself.

Her phone buzzed again.

OK, I’ll order takeout and we’ll pretend I cooked it. Come over at 7?

Avery tossed her phone in her purse, making a mental note to respond later. She didn’t want to attract any more attention to the situation.

After lunch, Lili took her leftover hotdog roll and chased after some ducks in hopes of feeding them. Her approach scared them initially, but once they realized she had food, they surrounded her.

James and Avery watched in amusement as she broke off pieces and pelted the birds with them.

“She’s an aggressive duck feeder, huh?” James asked, chuckling at their daughter.

“She thinks it’s funny. Weird kid.”

“She must take after her mom.” Avery turned at her head toward James and lightly punched his arm. He laughed and grabbed her hand in his. Immediately, her eyes settled on the dark, scarred skin on his hands. The scars were thick and raised, differentiating themselves from the rest of his tanned skin. He had the same deformed patches in the crook of his elbows, a reminder of a life marred by drug abuse.

She quickly pulled her hand back, amazed at how automatic the small gesture felt. It suddenly hit her; she saw just how simple it would be to fall back into her old life, to fall back to James. It had taken her a while to accept her new life and she would be damned before letting James send her back to square one.