The Real Story of Heaven and Hell

I held Lil as she sobbed into my shoulder. Jimmy was behind her hovering as he looked at me with worried eyes. Purposely I tempered my tone, keeping it gentle and reassuring. “It’s okay Lil, it was just a nightmare.”

“It. Felt. So. Real.” She managed to get out between sobs.

I knew exactly what she was talking about. How many times had I woken up shaken to my core from the nightmare that had haunted me nightly? I held her tighter as I mouthed for Jimmy to leave. Lil hated anyone to see her like this, well anyone but me.

I rubbed her back as I rocked slowly. “I know it’s scary but it wasn’t real.”

Jimmy watched Lil for a long moment as if deciding whether he should trust my judgment or not. Eventually I guess he figured I knew better because he got up silently and left. I can tell you this, he wasn’t happy about it judging by the look on his face.

Without thinking I started to hum a song our mother would sing to us when we were little girls.

“A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep.

In dreams you will lose your heartaches, whatever you wish for you keep.

Have faith in your dreams and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through.

No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.”

Lil pulled back wiping the tears from her eyes a small smile on her lips. “Mom used to sing that.”

I smiled back at her. “I know. I used to love to listen to her sing.” It was one of the few memories I had of her and it was mostly just her voice that I remembered. My mother could have been a professional singer; Grandfather had said so a lot. As a matter of fact he had let us know that she had chosen us over her dream of stardom and not regretted it for a second. We had become a bigger, better dream for her.

Lil’s smile turned sad. “You sound like her when you sing. If I close my eyes it’s almost like she’s still here.”

“She still is.”

Both Lil and I turned to look at Cory standing in our door way. “In spirit, we know.”

Cory shook her head as she stepped inside shutting the door behind her. “That’s not what I mean. She really is still with you.”

Lil sighed clearly annoyed and frustrated with Cory. “Listen I just had the nightmare from hell so please spare me the bullshit riddles.”

Cory sat down on the bed beside us. Her eyes were different, they weren’t…guarded. I think that’s why I had a problem with her. It was like there was always something she was hiding, like she was always holding something back, something important, something we needed to know. “I don’t mean to speak in riddles, but I’m about to tell you something I promised never to speak of. You must promise not to say anything, not even to your guardians, at least not yet. The fewer people that know the truth, the safer we all are.”

Cory didn’t look like the almighty angel she always walked around being, she looked like a normal mid twenties woman. She looked real and I found myself connecting to her in a way I never had before. It was that connection that had me squeezing Lil’s hand tight when I heard her intake of breath, no doubt to bitch at Cory some more. When she looked at me I gave her the ‘trust me’ look.

I turned to Cory giving her a warm smile. “I give you my word that neither of us will breathe a word of this to anyone unless it is deemed necessary.”

She seemed to debate for a little while before nodding her head. “Okay.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “Your mother isn’t dead.”

“That’s fucking bullshit.” Lil hissed. I squeezed her hand trying to keep her calm.

I turned my attention back to Cory. “How do you know this?”

“Because she’s the one who sent me to you.”

I couldn’t breathe. There was honesty in her words that I couldn’t doubt. She at the very least believed our mother had sent her. But how did she know our mother? I was just about to ask when Lil beat me to it.

Lil was openly glaring at her now. “How the fuck do you know who our mom is?”

I watched as Cory’s face softened with whatever she was thinking. “Because she’s very proud of you and has pictures of you both everywhere.”

“You’ve been to her house?” I asked feeling myself beginning to get a little chocked up.

Cory nodded. “Several times.”

Lil snorted still not buying it. Well okay it was more like she was fighting it.

“So you are her guardian?” I asked trying to figure out this puzzle. It still felt like I was missing a piece of it.

Cory gave me a small smile. “No.”

Lil pulled her hand out of mine so she could cross them over her chest. I placed my hand on her knee needing the contact with her as much as I knew she needed it from me. “Then we’re back to how the fuck do you know her?”

Warmth I had never seen even a hint of before, filled Cory’s eyes. It was obvious that she loved our mother like her own. “Because she’s my mother too.”

Neither one of us knew what to say. If we had the same mother that made her our…

“Sister?” I whispered in shocked stupor.

Cory nodded slowly as her eyes began to fill with unshed tears.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Lil said pulling away from me to stand up. “I’m just supposed to believe you? After everything you’ve done? You ATTACKED Sera!”

Lil was pacing she was so angry.

Cory sat up a little straighter refusing to let Lil intimidate her. “I did what I had to do to make sure you would do as you had to when the time came.” She turned to me her voice gentler then it had been with Lil. “I didn’t honestly mean to hit you that hard, I do apologize.”

I shrugged. “It’s okay.” I had been over it a lot sooner than everyone else, then again I guess forgiving was kinda my thing now a days.

“How can you do that?! How can you just believe her?!” Lil yelled in frustration.

I winced as she yelled. Lil never yelled at me, ever, but I understood. I got up intending to hug her but she wasn’t having any of it. “Lil…” She pulled away from my touch and it sliced straight through me. Rejection was nothing new, as a matter of fact it was pretty common but not with Lil. She had never rejected me, no matter what. I hadn’t realized how much more it would hurt coming from her.

“I’ll be at the hot springs if you need me.” She mumbled as she headed out, slamming the door behind her.

I stood there staring at the door numbly.

“I’m sorry.” Cory whispered so softly I barely heard her.

I gave her a smile I wasn’t feeling. “It’s okay. It’s a lot to take in and I think her demon side gets in her way sometimes. But I should go follow her; she’s hurting and needs me even if she doesn’t realize it.”

Cory nodded her understanding as she slid off the bed and out of the room silently.

I touched my mother’s cross that hung from around my neck. Was it true? Was she really still alive? Was Cory really my sister? I shook my head, none of that mattered right now.

There was only one thing I cared about at the moment.

And she was alone and hurting.

I had to go find Lil.

I had to make sure she was okay.