The Drug In Me Is You (Discontinued)

..::Adellyn's P.O.V::..

I heard voices, but I pretended to be asleep, just so I could avoid any questions, any crying, anybody being mad at me. Except Alysson. I was so selfish when I had started cutting. I didn't think of her, at all. I was so tied up in how desperate I was for a door leading out of my loneliness. I wanted to engulf her in a hug, to tell me that she forgave me for this. I wouldn't forgive myself for this. She had been sitting to the left of me, and I was aware. Then I noticed somebody caressing my right hand.

Taken by surprise, my eyes fluttered open, and I saw the last person I expected to see. Ronnie. My heart fell to my feet, and tears had already welled up in my eyes. I didn't even think about how badly I would have hurt him. I tried to sit up, and pain shot through my legs. Ronnie helped me sit up, and I shot him a thankful smile, even though it probably came out sad.

"Why would you do that to me?" His voice was softer than a babies butt. There was so much hurt in his eyes, I couldn't even stand to look at him. It fell silent. Not awkward silent. Well, not awkward for me.

"We're going to the house to get clothes," Aly stood up and grabbed Jacky's hand. "We'll be back soon." She didn't look me in the eye when she said that. Actually, it seemed as if she was avoiding looking at me at all costs. I hurt her so bad. I betrayed her. I didn't deserve her love. They left the room, silently shutting the door. I listened for their footsteps as they walked away, but I couldn't hear them. It was probably the buzzing in my ears. I was nervous for what Ronnie would say next.

He sat down on the bed, careful not to go anywhere near my thighs. "Adellyn. I..." He started, seeming speechless, not knowing what to say. I could hear the tears in his voice, as he choked them back. One silently fell down his cheek. I reached up to wipe it off with my thumb.

"I-" I started, but Ronnie cut me off, and entwined his fingers into mine, looking at me sincerely.

"Lynn," I got goosebumps as he addressed me, "Please, for me, don't ever do this again. I know that it may not be the best time to say this, but I love you. I'm IN love with you. Lynn. Please," He paused again, gulping, "Please. Never do that again." He said his last lines with a whisper, and I just wanted to fold him into me, and not let him go, whether I trusted him or not. He loved me. It may have only been a few days, but he did. He came all the way from Las Vegas for me. "Lynn, move in with me. Please. We don't have to be dating or anything. I just want to protect you." He wasn't looking at me anymore, he was looking at the wall.

I kissed the palm of his hand, and grabbed the tip of his chin, so he would look at me. A small smile went across my face, then disappeared. Tears were know flowing freely down his face, and I noticed that my own face was soaked with tears. I took my hand away, and held his other hand. "What about Alysson?" My voice croaked. Not what I was going for. I cleared my throat, and looked down.

"We'll find a way for everything. Maybe Jacky can move in with her. I need to know that you're okay," he told me, and I looked back up at him.

"You really do love me?" The corners of my mouth tilted up.

"I really do. I know it's so soon, but I've never felt this way about anybody. Never." He smiled sweetly at me. "It's okay if you don't love me back. I fucked up." He looked away, frowning now.

"I'll move in with you, Ronnie." my voice was small, but apparently they meant the world to him. A huge smile grew on his face, and he hugged me very carefully.

"We'll pack everything, and leave the day after tomorrow?" He asked.

"That's okay. But we need to find somebody for Alysson. I can't just leave her all alone." I whined. My sister meant more to me than I meant to my own self.

"We will. I promise you that." He kissed my forehead. "I'll get a doctor to bandage you up, and we can get you home." He got up, and opened the door, instantly looking down. "You guys are a bunch of assholes." He chuckled. I assumed that Jacky and Aly were listening through the door. I should have guessed they wouldn't have just left. Douche bags. The terrible two came in and sat down by me.

"How are you feeling, Adellyn?" Jacky asked me, using his thumb to wipe a stranded tear off of my cheek.

"I feel like shit. I'm so selfish. So worthless." I said.

"You're not worthless. But you are selfish. How the hell could you do that to me, Adellyn? You're the only person I have. The person I'm closest to. I thought I was going to lose you. I don't know what I would have done." Her voice started off as if she were going to yell, but it calmed down, to almost a whisper. She looked like she was about to cry, too.

"I'm sorry," was all I managed to get out. I'm not even sure if she heard me.

"I love you, sis," She hugged me. "But I don't know when I'll be able to forgive you for this." I knew that was coming. I deserved it, too. Ronnie then walked in with a doctor. Alysson got off of me and sat with Jacky. The doctor took off my blankets, and Ronnie winced as the remains of my depression were uncovered. I didn't even want to look at them. I couldn't.

The doctor took bandages and hospital tape, wrapping everything up, then handing a bag of supplies to Alysson. "You'll be needing these," he said. "You're free to go." Ronnie helped me out of the bed and we all walked to the car. I was cold, and I needed a shower. I need to sleep in my own bed. I needed to eat. I sat in the back of our 'Stang Ronnie as Alysson drove us home. I instantly went to go take a shower, being careful around my wounds, avoiding having to look at them.

It was warm on my skin, soothing out the goosebumps I had all around. I was sad to have to turn it off. I dried myself and redid the bandages. I wore pajama pants, since they were loose. They were batman, as well, my favourite super hero. I slipped on a black tank top, and brushed out the wet mop on my hair. There was a soft knock at my door, and I opened it to Aly, who had a mop and bucket.

"I'm cleaning up your mess." She said bluntly. I looked at the floor behind me, where blood was splattered all over the floor.

"I'll do it." I mumbled.

"No, you need to eat. I'll do this." She insisted, her voice a bit more soft. I nodded and went out to the kitchen, where Ronnie was sitting, looking as if he were waiting. There was a pancake on the table.

"It's yours." Ronnie spoke out, talking about the food. I dove in and ate it, forgetting Ronnie was watching me. Hell, I was hungry. I cleaned the plate once I was done with it, and put it on the rack to dry. Ronnie had his head on the table, as if he were tired.

"Ronnie?" I spoke out. His head shot up, and his eyes were red.

"Yes?" He put on the best face he could, trying to tell me he was okay. It didn't work.

"Come to bed with me?" I asked. He nodded, and stood up. He picked me up and carried me to the room. Right when we walked into the room, there was a loud sound.

"FUCKING CUNT." Jacky yelled out from Alysson's room. We ran in to Aly crying on the bed, and a hole in the wall left from Jacky. He was pacing, fuming. He looked up at us, rage all over his face. Alysson was the next to look at us, she got up and ran to me. I consoled her and went into my room. I made her lay down with me, and I tried to comfort her many sobs. I didn't know what had happened.

(c)Shannon.