The Drug In Me Is You (Discontinued)

..::A Few Weeks Later::.

"Cawwy me, Wonnie," I put on my best puppy dog face as Ronnie carried my bridal style out to the car. Today was a great day. A great one, I tell you! Today was the day I was getting my stitches out. Ronnie offered to take them out for me but, hah, no. He put me down in the car, and we played Marilyn Manson's 'Antichrist Superstar' CD. The last CD he made that I actually liked.

"Are you excited," He asked me, trying to start a conversation so it wouldn't be silent in here.

"Oh, no, I have these itchy things in my legs that I'm getting out today. I'm totally saddened by it," I had sarcasm dripping out with my words, "So what are we doing afterwards?" I asked him. I hadn't been out of the house since we got to Vegas because of my bandages. I was embarrassed by them. Well, that's my own fault. After I asked this question, I saw him gulp.

"I have a, uh, place in mind," He stammered out. This didn't give me an all to good feeling.

"What's that supposed to mean," I hammered him.

"I know where I'm taking you afterwards," he grinned at me and looked back at the road, this time around, his words were more bold.

"Which is where," I had adopted a defensive tone now. In my defense, hiding this from me was starting to annoy me.

"It's a seeeeecret." He said in a more sing-song voice. I wanted to punch him, so bad.

"Ronald Jos-" I started bad Ronnie stopped me abruptly.

"Listen, I'm not telling you," he said in a 'putting-my-foot-down-on-this' type of voice, "If you want to go on and hit me. Hit away, and kill us all," he said. I blushed and sat back in my seat.

"Asshole," I muttered out.

"What," he glanced at me again, with the same lopsided grin.

"ASS. HOLE," I put it in two words, saying it louder than I needed to.

"I love you, too," and that's where I was silent, because the thing was, he actually did love me. Another thing, I was starting to think I didn't have any feelings for him, or maybe that's what I'm just telling myself, because I know I don't trust him. The whole rest of the ride was silent. There were a couple of times where he would try to start a conversation, but always ended up not finishing his sentence. Things like 'so-' and 'I-' and 'you-'. I think he got the message, though, because he stopped.

I was glad to finally pull up to the hospital. Ronnie walked with me at a small distance, but of course his was in my reach. We walked in the doors, and went up to the nurse at the front desk.

"Adellyn Kane," I told her my name, seeing as I had an appointment. She nodded and signed me in.

"Follow me," She instructed, leading us to Dr. Holder's room. He was to be taking out my stitches, "Wait right here just a minute. The doctor will be with you soon," she smiled and headed out. Ronnie played with my fingers while we waited, and finally, the doctor arrived.

"Hello, Ms. Kane," he smiled as he sat down with a file.

"You can call me Adellyn," I offered. When people called me 'Ms. Kane', it made me feel old.

"Alright, so, Adellyn, I see we're taking off stitches," he started eyeing my bandages.

"Quite a few, actually," I said, smiling. I was so freakin' excited about this, you have no clue.

"Okay. Let's see," He took of the bandages and I could hear a small gasp, "My. What happened here," he asked, looking me dead in the eye.

"I, um, I don't want to talk about it," I blushed and looked at my hand, which Ronnie was still playing with. I re-situated it so that my fingers laced into his. I looked at his face to see a smile form on his lips, making me smile in the process. I looked back at Dr. Holder, who now had Strabismus scissors, and he had on thick glasses, and a light over my thighs. He started cutting at my stitches, and I was happy to find that it didn't hurt at all, like I thought it would.

It was a good 45 minutes before he was done taking out all of my stitches.

"124 stitches," the doctor stated, throwing the cut wire into a trashcan, "Somebody sure got their hands on you," he teased. Somebody meaning me. But I didn't say that out loud, "You're free to go," he smiled as Ronnie helped me up. I looked down at my legs now, for the first time in almost a month. There were scars, thankfully not that thick, and they were long, and pink.

"Before we go wherever, can I go home and get dressed," I pleaded Ronnie.

"Of course," He said, and looked as if he were about to hold my hand, but didn't. The drive home was also silent. I sat there and traces the small lines of memory that I know had on my upper legs. Every time I looked at them, now, it would be such a horrible reminder. But Ronnie was here, now, to make sure I never had to feel that way again. Or, at least he would try.

I hopped out of the car once it was parked, and skipped to Jacky's new apartment door. Alysson's now situated and living in there. Shit happened where she can't trust him so much now, so she also has her own room like I do in Ronnie apartment. I kicked the door as hard as I could, and ran to mine and Ronnie's apartment. Ronnie saw what happened, and ran to the door, laughing, fumbling with the keys. I saw Jacky come out with a confused look, and he spotted us right before our door opened. We hurried and closed it, locking it behind us, and were greeted by kicking and banging sounds, courtesy of Jacky. Ronnie and I started laughing until it hurt, then I remembered why we even came home.

I went back to my bathroom. Yeah, I had my own bathroom. I stripped all of my clothes off and stepped into the lukewarm water of my shower. I lathered my self in coconut scented wash and shampoo, and, uh, conditioner. I got out when I felt really clean, and was happy I didn't have to redo bandage wrapping. I was done with that. Done. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was starting to look more healthier. The bags under my eyes went away. My skin was getting tanner. My hair was far more shiner. God, and, no more freakin' acne.

I smiled at myself, and brushed my teeth. Once I was done with that, I walked out to my room, not so surprised to see Ronnie sitting on my bed with a sad look on his face. I turned off the bathroom light, and his head shot up to look at me. He put his arms out, making a grabbing motion. I giggled and went to sit on his lap, and my head was in the nape of his neck. He cradled me, and was careful not to remove any part of towel.

"I really wish you would just trust me," he said softly.

"I kind of do," I admitted sheepishly.

"Then why wo-" I cut him off, knowing what he was going to ask.

"I'm not ready," I said, silently, "do I look like I'm in any condition to be in a relationship," I asked as I lifted my head up to look at him in the face. He had such a sad look in his eyes. He didn't question it, and kissed my head again.

"Come on. Get dressed," the corner of his mouth flicked up, but I could still tell he was sad. I was breaking this boy, and it made me feel so terrible. I nodded and got off of him. I went to my small dresser and got out undergarments, and put them on the in the bathroom, where I dried out my hair, and put it in a sloppy bun.

I went to my walk in closet, and pulled out a pair of dark blue washed out skinny jeans, and a tank top that was green and black. I straightened my hair, and put on brown colours around my eyes to really bring out the blue, along with black eyeliner and mascara. I put on a dark pink lipstick, and sprayed myself with perfume before slipping on a black pair of open-toed heels, and throwing a scar around my shoulders. I slipped on Bob Marley bracelets, and giggled at how my nail polish matched my hair.

I put my ipod, phone, wallet, and stuff in my eyeball bag and grabbed my sunglasses. I walked out to Ronnie who was in the living room, waiting on me.

"Damn girl," he looked me up and down playfully, "Lookin' good," this caused me to smile, and he grabbed his keys and wallet, and turned off the TV, "I feel like I actually want to be seen with you, today," I punched him in the army, and he frowned. He started the car, and looked shameful the whole ride. I wondered where he was taking me.

We ended up in the parking lot of some official building, and he parked.

"Where are we," I asked him, looking for a sign.

"I, um, come on," he hustled me out of the car, and held my hand on the way to the office, "I'm sorry, Lynn," he muttered.

"Sorry? Sorry for what," I asked, a gripping curiosity forming now.

"You'll see," He looked down as he said that. We entered the building and went up to the front desk, "Adellyn Kane. Dr. Carter," Ronnie said to the front desk.

"What is th-" I stopped abruptly as soon as I realized where we were, "YOU BROUGHT ME TO A FUCKING THERAPIST?" I screeched, anger boiling in my veins. Everybody was looking at me, but I honestly didn't give two cents about them right now.

"I told you I wanted to keep you safe," He muttered.

"Safe from what, Ronnie," I could feel a bit of venom drip into my words, "you forced me to come live with you so you could keep me safe. What else is there?" I know my words were harming him, but this was over the top.

"From yourself, Adellyn," He sighed. I grunted, and stormed off out of the building.

"Mother fuckin' freakin' fuck shit mother son of a bitch cock juggling fuckin' thunder cunt," the profanities rolled off my tongue as I muttered my hate. Ronnie was following behind me, I know that, but he wasn't running, or trying to catch up with me. I went into the next gas station I saw, and bought a pack of Newport menthols. As soon as I was away from the gas station, I walked back to the car, Ronnie on my trail.

I leaned against the hood of the black SUV, and lit up, "I can't believe you," I said to Ronnie as he walked up to me, then took another drag.

"It's for your own heath," He muttered, leaning by me.

"My own, my, my own fucking health?" I stuttered.

"I didn't want to do it," he coughed out, eyeing my cigarette, "but I didn't want to lose you, either," He admitted sheepishly.

"Well aren't you so fucking sweet," I spat out, and he flinched at my words, "I want to go home," I demanded.

"Can't you see, Adellyn," he cried out.

"See what," I turned around, stomping on my cigarette, staring daggers at him.

"You're not acting like yourself," his voice was now calm, and my hand was in his, "Come on. I will stand right outside the door the whole time. I promise," he said sincerely. I sighed, and I knew that I was becoming a class A bitch.

"Fine," I grumbled, and let Ronnie lead me to Dr. Carter's room. Dr. Carter was an old man, with thin rimmed glasses, and graying hair. He was tall, I could tell, even though he was sitting down. The walls of the office were dark oak, matching his huge shiny desk, but he wasn't sitting at his big black leather chair, no. He was sitting in a navy blue reading chair, which sat across from a red love seat. There were other chairs scattered around, in some what of a circle, but not put together to look tacky.

The whole wall behind the chair at his desk was lined with bookshelves, and filled with many different books and small antique statues. There were various paintings around the walls, and framed pictures of his family on his desk. I slowly walked across the dark blue carpet, to sit down on the love seat.

"Hello," he smiled. His voice was deep, and intimidating.

"H-hi." I stuttered out. I took off my scarf, and put it by my bag, along with my glasses.

"I'm Dr. Carter. You must be Adellyn," the smile was sweet and sincere. He actually sounded a lot like Professor Snape from Harry Potter. He asked my mostly about my family and how my relationship was with them, then told me that our sessions were every Wednesday. I filled out a form, that he filed along with the sheet he was writing on during our session. I walked out, and like Ronnie promised, he was sitting on the floor in front of the door.

He took me home and then out to eat, and I had a really nice time. When I was finally in my bed, I felt lonely, so I went on ahead and threw my covers off, then tip-toed to Ronnie's room, then slipped into him bed. He mumbled something, and cuddled with me. It felt absolutely great.

And for the first time, I was happy.

(c)Shannon.