The Drug In Me Is You (Discontinued)

..::Adellyn's P.O.V::..

Alysson did her best to calm me down after what I had witnessed. I knew that if I kept acting depressed and frantic, she would be on the edge of feeling just like me. I put on my best faked smile and walked out to the crowd with her. I had gotten my breathing back to normal. I was calmed down, and hopefully my face wasn't red and puffy. I didn't know why I was flipping out so much over this guy whom I didn't know at all on a personal level.

What was I thinking anyways? I wasn't looking for a relationship when I fucked him. I guess it was the sweet nothings that he was telling me. How he acted like he cared the morning after, making me feel special. He told me he would text me, talk to me later. That he was happy we had met. Of course I always had fantasies about us getting married at a younger age. He's Ronnie fucking Radke. Name one girl that listened to Escape the Fate that didn't have sexual fantasies about one of the band members.

The guys walked on, giving me a heavy feeling near the pit of my stomach. He started singing a song that was on the cd he had given me. I kept glancing around elsewhere, then I noticed Ronnie had been staring at me through the whole song. Well, what I thought was me. I found out I was correct when he pointed directly at me, and his eyes were red. Red and puffy. That annoyed me. What the hell did he have to be sad about? I was the one night stand. He was the liar.

Once his voice put forth a little crack, I bolted through the door. I started walking away from the venue, a flood of emotions drowning me. I was hurt, mad, confused, and so many feelings just took over me. I couldn't take it. I couldn't walk. I was at the end of the parking lot, and I just sat down in the grass that separated the small road in the lot from the actual street. I hugged my knees to my chest and hoped to god that nobody was looking for me, because I wasn't quite hiding.

I heard cheering coming from the venue, and I couldn't help myself but roll my eyes. I didn't do anything for the longest time but looked at the pretty cars that were passing by. It was night, and since we were right outside of Vegas, and a bit uphill, I could see the amazing colours of the city, making my heart lift, making me happier inside. I was collected and in a good state of mind when I heard huffing behind me and foot steps. I didn't want to know who it was, or what they wanted. Hopefully, it wasn't even somebody for me.

My hopes were ripped from me when I heard the rough all too familiar voice of Ronnie behind me. "Adellyn." His voice was almost a whisper, and it sounded far too sad. I didn't respond to him, knowing I would break down. I liked him. A lot. But I didn't need this. I needed to go home. Get myself together. See my friends. Go on with my life.

"Adellyn. Please look at me." There was a quiver in his voice as he pleaded. It sounded as he was almost on the verge of crying. "Please."

"Why should I?" My voice came out rather harsh, making me want to flinch.

"Because I think we need to talk." He said abruptly. I stood up and turned around on my heels.

"Why do we need to talk, Ronnie? Your actions made everything perfectly fucking clear, now, didn't they?" I tried my hardest not to yell.

"Let's just say I have some really crazy fans." He looked down, very regretfully.

"Ronnie, I feel like a one night stand. Is that what I was? Don't get me wrong. I didn't have sex with you on an emotional level. But I am very confused and very hurt right now." At my words, he flinched, and he looked significantly more hurt.

"You weren't. You weren't a one night stand." He said, quietly. "I really do like you." He said, and a single tear flowed quickly down his face. That one tear didn't give me any sympathy, though.

"Please. Just, I want another chance. You deserve so much better than me. I want to prove to you I can be that guy." He begged.

"I-I don't know, Ronnie. How can I know you're not lying, and forgive you? You hurt me-" My voice got soft. I felt cornered and everything was closing in on me, my breathing far from normal. I noticed Jacky and Ally slowing walking up, but I don't think Ronnie noticed.

"Because I love you." He said without stuttering, and I was surprised he could even look me in the eyes while saying it. I saw that Ally and Jacky were wide-eyed. I knew I would hate myself later for this, but I couldn't stop what was about to erupt from my mouth.

"I don't think we should see each other, anymore, Ronnie." I couldn't look at any body while I said that. I didn't want to stick around to see what was going to happen next, so I just walked to where I had parked my car and got in the driver's seat, turning it on to Iron Maiden. About ten seconds into the song, I decided against music, and turned the car off, and just leaned my head back. I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and fore finger.

As much as I wanted to be alone, I couldn't stop it when Alysson stepped into the passenger's seat in the car.

"What was that?" She said, with a 'wtf' look on her face.

"It can't happen, Alysson. We're from two completely different worlds." I sighed.

"Well that helps me feel better about being with Jacky." She said defensively.

"Why, did he ask you out?" I glanced at her from the side.

"Well, no. But if he does!" She said.

"Then I wish you the best of luck. But I don't think Ronnie and Jacky are the same two type of people." I admitted.

"No matter what kind of guy Ronnie is, he was crying after you left. You know he has to go back on stage?" She said, purposely acting over dramatic.

"I don't give a damn." I said, once again, harsh.

"You're heartless, Lynn." She said, resting her head in the nape of my neck.

"I shouldn't be hurt over him, sis." I sighed. "It wasn't meant to be. This isn't one of my written out fantasies."

"But it could be." She sat up and looked at me.

"No, it really couldn't, and I'm not up for trying." I said. "Are we leaving?"

"I want to watch the concert." She said, in her 'putting my foot down on this' voice.

"Do you think Jacky will drive you home? I have a headache. I need sleep." I said, with words so true.

"I'm sure he would. You look like you need rest." She said.

"I hope you have fun. Please, don't worry about me." I gave her a sincere smile, not wanting her to feel bad for me.

"I'll try. But Ronnie, he does feel bad." She sighed.

"I don't care how he feels. I don't want to hear anything else on him." I said.

"I'm so sorry." She pouted, then kissed me on the cheek. "I love you, Lynn."

"I love you, too, Ally." I smiled, and she stepped out, and gave me one last meaningful look before walking back to the venue. I turned on the car, and put my music on full blast in order to drown out the razor sharp thoughts in my head, tearing at every corner. I parked close to the hotel, and went up to our room. I took off my makeup, and took off my pants. I went to the mirror to brush my teeth, and noticed the shirt that I was wearing. I tore it off and threw it in the trash.

I didn't want to think about him.

In my under garnets, I walked back out, and went into Alysson's bag for her over sized Sleeping with Sirens band tee, and slipped it on. My sister was always the most comforting person to me. I slipped in bed even though it was rather early, and put in my iPod. I let my music temporarily take my sister's place to comfort me, and I slipped off to sleep easier than I thought I would have.

Tomorrow was our last day here in Vegas, and I wouldn't blame Alysson if she went to hang out with Jacky. That is, it was the next day now.

She wasn't back.

She wasn't answering her phone.

And I couldn't get in touch with her.

(c)Shannon.