The Drug In Me Is You (Discontinued)

..::Ronnie's P.O.V::..

I was surprised to see Alysson walk in with Adellyn. To be honest, I didn't think I would ever see or hear from her again. I broke her heart, so I didn't blame her. I didn't know her that long at all, but there was just something about her. Her voice. Her smile. Her eyes. The way she would look at me. How my lips felt against hers. I feeling I would honestly miss, since I didn't expect to ever feel that, again.

At the sight of me, her eyes were wide, her mouth slightly open. She was probably taken back, and didn't know I would be here. What was I thinking? She wouldn't forgive me. She couldn't. I was sitting backstage when it all happened. A girl, whom obviously didn't have any respect for herself, came up, and asked my to sign her arm. Usually, I would love to see a half naked chick, or think she was still wearing too much clothes, but I had fallen for somebody. Have you ever heard of love at first sight?

I didn't kiss her back, and she had a grip on me in which I couldn't get her off of me. I felt like an ass, I felt hurt, even, when I saw her running away. I was even more hurt when she turned me down and told me she thought we shouldn't ever see one another again after I told her I loved her. I didn't mean to say it, it just came out. She seemed to have composed herself and looked right at me. I couldn't tell her emotions. She wasn't as readable as other people.

She was right on the other side of this thin table, and I stood up. I looked closely at her neck to see she still had the ornamental necklace on that I had given her for her birthday. "So you still care..." I whispered more to myself, a kind of sadness rolling over me, coming out with my words. I wasn't expecting for her to wrap her arms around my neck, and press her lips next to mine. I took this moment in, just in case I would never get this sensation again. I tried to remember the way her skin felt, the way she smelled, the way she tasted. I walked around the table once she pulled away and wrapped my arms around her.

After a few moments, I took her hand, and led her away from the crowd so we could talk more privately. Her hand was limp in mine, and she didn't even look at me while we were walking. I spotted a vacant bench and led her towards it.

"Adellyn..." I started, my words lost, me, trying to find them.

"Ronnie, I don't know what just came over me. I really don't. I meant it when I said I don't think we should see each other anymore." she said, sadness filling her voice, and her eyes. She didn't even look at me in the eyes, which was starting to irritate me.

"Can you look me in the eyes?" I said, a little bit more harsh, but I guess that was one of the effects of my hurt. She moved her head first, dragging her eyes behind, and steadied them on me, into my eyes, and it made my heart drop. "She was just a fan. An eager, strong, fan. I don't know what you've done to me, but all I can think about is you." I assured her, meaning every word I was saying. "I don't know what came over me yesterday night, I didn't mean to just come out and say that I love you. I know it was soon. But I did mean it." She looked down again for a moment.

"Ronnie, I just don't know I can live like that, if fans come up and do that. They come around you, dangerously close to butt ass naked...." she trailed off.

"And usually I would enjoy that." I admitted. "But I didn't even notice her. I signed her arm and then she....attacked me." I explained to her, animation more than likely on my face.

"But how can I trust you?" She asked, looking me dead in the eye.

"How can I earn your trust?" We got back to super serious. She seemed so delicate right now, so quite. I felt like I had to watch what I said right now. One slip up, and she'd be gone forever.

"No girls." She said. "None." I pulled her into a hug, knowing I was given another chance. She pulled away and looked at me again. "But understand. I'm not dating you. Not yet. I like you a lot, Ronnie Radke, but I'm not going to declare myself your girlfriend until I can trust you." She said.

"But, it's a chance." I pulled her back into my arms, her face was nuzzled into my chest. I was ecstatic to feel her mouth smiling as it brushed my neck. I kissed her cheek, then remembered that I was supposed to be at a signing. "Sit with me behind the tables?" I begged. She giggled and nodded. "And, erm, can I hold your hand?" she blushed as I asked, and I wouldn't be surprised if I had a splash of red on my face, too. She tied her hand in mine, and we walked back to the store, smiles, sneers, and blank faces coming towards us as we entered. She sat on my lap since there wasn't anymore space as I signed posters, cd's, shirts, pants, skin, shoes. You name it, and I've put my signature on it.

I kissed her several times on the cheek here and there. When I wasn't signing anything, my arms were wrapped around her waist, and I rested my forehead on her back. I looked over at Alysson and Jacky, to see them sitting very close to one another, and wondered what their deal was, how they were working everything out. Jacky glanced at me and winked, then nodded to the area in front of me, where I noticed more people were waiting for me to sign things.

It wasn't until hours later when the store was closing up, and me, the band, and the two girls could go out and do our own thing.

"Well, we should all just go to our room at the hotel, because we're leaving tonight." Alysson suggested. My heart dropped to find out that they were leaving.

"What time?" Jacky asked. I guessed that since they were holding hands, they had kind of a commitment.

"Flight leaves at 11, so we should be there around 45 past ten." Alysson informed us. Adellyn wasn't holding my hand on the car ride, even though I wish she would, but I didn't want to overstep my boundaries. We arrived at their hotel, one that I've stayed at many of times, and we went up to the 13th floor and into their room. They stuffed all of their things in their suitcase and bags so they would be ready for their flight, and Jacky and Alysson were laying down together on her bed.

Adellyn was laying on her bed, watching the movie that was on. I sat at the edge of it, and looked back at her. She was looking at me, and threw her arms open for me to come in to them. I lay down with her and she rested her head on my chest as we watched the movie. This was something I had always wanted, but was too horny to ever get.

Sadly, 10 came around, and they decided it would be a good time to go the airport. We all got in a car, and we went through the airport security with them, and we sat and waited with them. I wanted to hold Adellyn. To kiss her. But, I didn't know if she wanted the same from me. Not only was she leaving. But I didn't get to give her a goodbye. One that told her I did love her. I looked around the stories, and noticed one in particular that I was looking for.

..::Adellyn's P.O.V::..

"I'll be right back." Ronnie said, and kissed my forehead. I wanted ever so bad for him to hold me, but I was glad he didn't. Once he earned my trust, I would melt for him right then and there, but I couldn't now, not when I was so hurt. Alysson and Jacky talked to me about how our home in SoCal. When Ronnie came back, he came with a bouquet of roses, red and purple. I could have cried right there. I jumped up, and he handed them to me.

I put them down lightly on a seat, and threw myself into his arms, nuzzling my face into his neck.

"I'm going to miss you." I could feel a tear sliding down my cheek as I said it.

"I'm going to miss you, too." He said, with a strained voice.

"FLIGHT 859 TO SOUTH CALIFORNIA, BOARDING NOW." A flight attendant called into the speaker. I grabbed my bouquet and bag, and planted a soft kiss on Ronnie's lips before heading back with Alysson, and getting on the plane. I could tell this would be a long, lonely trip back home. As I knew it would be, Alysson and I didn't really talk to whole way, just listened to our music. I know she was sad about leaving Jacky. I could tell her in face. I held her hand, and squeezed it instead of looking at me. We fell asleep, and woke up when the plane was landing.

We grabbed our luggage from the spinny thingy and headed off to home. It was dark and lonely once we got there. We both took showers, taking off our scrounge and makeup from the day, and crawled into our beds.

It was about four in the morning when I woke up, feeling sad. I didn't know what to do with myself. I grabbed something from my nightstand that I had hidden under my bed side lamp, and dragged myself into my bathroom. I started crying with my back on the wall, and I slowly started sliding down it, to where I was sitting. I couldn't take all of the pain, so I looked at the thin sheet of metal that I haven't touched in months. I pressed it to the skin on my thigh and slowly started cutting. I cut over, and over, and over, and blood was dripping onto the floor.

My sobs got louder, and eventually, I heard my name being called out, and the hallway light being turned on. I didn't acknowledge it. I didn't care. I kept giving way to my razor and kept slicing my pale skin. The bathroom light flicked on, and there stood Alysson, tears welling up in her eyes immediately. I dropped the small object in shame, and started crying.

"Oh my god, Adellyn." She took me in her arms and rocked my back in forth, her sobs matching mine. "Those are so deep, you're losing so much blood. We have to get you to the hospital." She said between sobs, and helped me up.

I ended up blacking out on the way to the car.

(c)Shannon.