Harbour Lights and Lonely Nights

The next morning Emily arose from the guest bedroom earlier than most days but still as she went to the kitchen Sidney was already up and dressed, leaning against the counter with a bowl of granola something. He was dressed in a way that Emily had come to recognize as meaning he was going to practice.

“I’m leaving for practice after this. I won’t be home until tonight.” Sidney said upon seeing her. He liked the way that her eyes were brightest just after she woke up or when she had her hair up.
“Okay. And you’ll probably be tired when you get home so I won’t be seeing much of you.”
“Probably not. What are you going to do today?”
She shrugged finding a chair at the table and sitting at it so she didn’t have to think and stand at the same time. “I’m not sure.”
The last thing Max had said to her the night before ran through her head. In a moment she thought about the option of staying in Pittsburgh but also how much she would miss Nova Scotia. What she needed to do was figure out what came next. That’s what she would do today. Start on her quest for answers. “I guess I’ll just try and get some stuff done that I need to.”
The answer was vague but Sidney didn’t push it, “Alright. If you need anything you can call me. I might not get the message right away though.”
“Thanks Sid.”
The dirty bowl went in the sink with the spoon. “No problem.”
“I’ll see you later, ya?”
He smiled, “Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

---

Later that morning Emily went out for a cup of coffee at the Starbucks she had found when she first arrived. The line was short and most of the tables empty, so upon getting her drink she decided to sit with it at the bar along the large floor to ceiling windows. The sun was bright outside but muted through the glass. The beverage, too hot to drink, released steam as she removed the lid and the aroma floated up towards her. The smell reminded her of late nights cramming at university and she wondered if things would be simpler had she finished her degree. Would she have stayed in England? Would she have travelled as much? Would she have found Sidney again? Or even ever come back home?

When she first went to university she had wanted to get her degree and change the world. She could see so many things that she didn’t like and she wanted to be part of the solution. But once she got there she realized most people were the same but apathy always set in and the chances of one person making the kind of difference she wanted were there but minimal. She tried to think if she had changed since she made the decision to leave school. If she had then in what ways? Where did the stuff on the road really get her?

There was still a bit of her that wanted to make some sort of change. The same part of her that had used to dream of being a journalist or writer. She was only 23 and had 2 years of university under her belt. Certainly the dream couldn’t be out of reach. She realized she wouldn’t be thinking like this had she not ran into Sidney. The way he strived for what he wanted had always been her guiding light. What she knew now was that she wanted to find a school, which would be easy. Or at least, it would be easy as soon as she figured out where she wanted to be. Her heart was tearing her in two different directions. She very much wanted to listen to Max’s suggestion and stay in the city her best friend called home but a part of her yearned for the Nova Scotia air and wondered if she’d ever stopped missing it. The answer she came up with was that she probably wouldn’t. She loved Nova Scotia too much, and like she had told her self numerous times before, you can’t plan your life around someone else.

A petite framed woman threw a shadow over the table beside Emily. “You were the Habs fan that was in here the other day.”
With that her concentration was broken but she resolved to start looking at her options for transferring credits when she got back. “You were the barista when I was in here a few days ago.”
“Yes I was. I just finished my shift so I thought I’d chill with a coffee before heading home. Mind if I sit here?”
Emily shook her head, “not at all.”
The redhead pulled a tall chair out and sat on it, her bag slung over the back. “So how are you liking Pittsburgh?”
“I love it. You have a really good memory.”
“Yeah, I try to listen to customers so I can strike up conversation with our regulars. I used to be a bartender too so that probably helped.”
“That sounds like a cool job. I’m Emily by the way.”
“Mischa.”
Emily took the first few sips of her hot coffee. The caffeine felt soothing as it reached out to wake the nerves of her body.
“How’s your friend you’re supposed to be visiting?”
“He’s good. It’s weird. I haven’t seen the guy in 5 years so he’s a bit like a stranger. Or at least he was at first, we’re getting used to each other again.”
“How long are you staying?”
Mischa, the red haired barista, coaxed conversation out of Emily effortlessly. It was part of the reason she was such a good barista and had been such a good bartender before that.
“I’m not sure. A while longer. What made you stay in the city?”
The ends of her red hair bounced as she shrugged, “Something about the city just clicked with me. I know that probably sounds very vague and out there but I just felt really at home here. More than when I was in Chicago with my family, although I still like to go back there.”
“I can’t imagine any place feeling more like home than where I grew up.”
“It didn’t right away for me.”

The two continued to talk and drink their coffees for an hour before leaving. Emily felt a strange connection with the girl from Chicago and made a note to return to that coffee shop when she was in want of a coffee.

---

Sidney watched Max take shots on Flower as he sat on the bench. The sound as his stick hit each puck one after the other had such a rhythm after a while Sidney didn’t notice it. Like a heart beat or breathing it just become constant in the background.

“Emily seems nice,” Jordan’s familiar voice came from his towering figure as he stepped off the ice.
“She is nice.”
“And fun.”
“Yes.” He didn’t like where this was heading.
“Just what someone who should lighten up needs.”
“Don’t even think about it Gronk.”
“Come on, you guys must have had something between you back in the day.”
“Back in the day? We’re not that old. And no, we really didn’t. Two people of the opposite gender can be friends Staal. Just because you can’t manage it…”
Jordan sat down beside Sidney. The captain was hunched over with his forearms resting on his knees. The sweat beaded on his forehead and dripped to the ground, the physical evidence of his hard work ethic.
“You know what I think?”
“No and I don’t want to.”
“I think that you need to stop being such a wimp. Obviously there is something there. Just fucking tell her. Do the same thing you do with hockey. Visualize the play in your head and execute it.”
“It’s a little different. I’ve always been able to read the ice, players, the game. As long as I’ve known Emily she’s always found ways to surprise me. Sometimes I feel like going for it and others she makes me feel like for her it’s all perfectly platonic. Not to mention how hard things would be with her. I think it’s better for everyone that we stay friends. We work that way.”
“Chicken shit.”
Sidney rolled his eyes and stood up, ready to get on the ice with the rest of his teammates.
“One thing I will say is Talbo looked quite comfortable with her yesterday and you know what he’s like.”
With that last thought to leave with Sidney, Jordan stepped on the ice and skated past him. It wasn’t just Sidney who had thought that last night, and the validation of that brought a sense of worry tumbling through his body. But he pushed it aside. This was practice time and as long as he was on the ice and Max was on the ice his focus would not be spent on Emily.

---

Journalism courses and degrees were available everywhere and for most programs in Nova Scotia she could transfer her credits. She hadn’t even bothered looking up Pittsburgh schools. She missed home and she missed it now. That click that Mischa had spoken of had never happened for Emily. The Atlantic water and harbour lights called to her. The little things that she missed: Hockey Night in Canada, double doubles, maritime life. A plan started to form in her mind. She could picture her schedule rolling out in front of her. She would stay and watch the Penguins first home game and then she would head back to Nova Scotia. She didn’t need to go any farther on her trip she knew what she wanted to do. That way Sidney didn’t need to worry about entertaining her when the season started and she would have four months to sort out her credits if she wanted to enrol in classes for the Winter semester. Life was looking good. Emily finally had some sort of plan.

When Sidney got home Emily had fallen asleep on the couch. He thought about what Jordan had said about Max and felt a wave of protectiveness wash over him. He had always felt need to keep her from harms way and the times he had failed remained hurtful memories that came with a feeling of inadequacy.

The snow fell in large soft flakes. The sky was a grey blue and the air sharply cold. With each step Sidney and Emily took their breath spread out visibly in the cold. Most of the path home from school had been iced over and the two were forced to take their time.

“I hate being on ice in shoes,” Emily grumbled as her feet tried to find some traction on the familiar path. Sidney walked close for fear she might slip. Since he had met her five months ago he had grown to care deeply for the blue-eyed girl.
“I know what you mean.”
“We should just wear skates to school if it’s going to be this icy. I mean this is insane!”
Sidney laughed. “You’ll be fine.”
“That’s easy for you to say, you have balance!”

The boy couldn’t help but fall back a bit as he watched her struggle across the path. He got lost watching the way her hair became peppered with white snow that immediately melted or the look of determination to not be defeated by the icy path. He watched as in as much time as it took to blink Emily’s foot slipped forward and her other knee came down on a piece of ice that was sticking up. As fast as he got to her it wasn’t fast enough. A look of shock was painted across her rosy features as she fell on her butt.

“Emily are you okay?!” Crouching Sidney looked at her knee which he could see was bleeding though a tiny hole in her jeans. Emily was so surprised the pain didn’t immediately register and Sidney didn’t know what to do. He felt so helpless and horrible for not being there to stop her falling even if preventing it would have been impossible.

Slowly as the situation processed the pain in her knee processed and Emily started breathing heavily. “Emily?!”
She wasn’t even looking at him so he took her face in his hands. He looked her right in her beautiful blue orbs reassuringly and to him it seemed as though her eyes were finally taking in his presence.
“Emily,”
She nodded in his hands and he rested his cold forehead against hers. More reassuring then his words was the warm of his breath on her face. “We’ve got to get you to the hospital, you’re going to need some stitches.”
“Ok…”
“You’re going to be fine Em.”

Sidney walked towards the couch and turned off the TV. At the stop of the noise Emily’s eyes fluttered open.

“Sidney…”
“Hey.”
“Come sit with me and tell me about practice.”

One look at those blue eyes and he couldn’t help but comply.