Harbour Lights and Lonely Nights

When Sidney felt himself wake Emily was still asleep. She was completely silent in her calm peaceful rest as the sunlight caught the sheets draped over her curves. Her serene features were facing him and he watched her eyelashes twitch sporadically with sleep. His hand reached out to her waist, the curve of it calling out to him. The sheet warm at his touch as the hand travelled over the curve of her hips, the tangle of the sheets, and the smooth of her tan legs. Finally he could touch her; he didn’t have to hold every desire in reserve. He had always wondered what tracing her hourglass figure might feel like, the perfectly curved path inwards from her ribs to her waist, then back out over her hips and in towards her knees. At the feel of a small rough obstruction on the smooth path of her skin he knew he was feeling her scar. The small, almost invisible through her tan mark, that had resulted from that walk back from school all those years ago. It was his fault but he would never let anything like that happen again.

His eyelids still felt heavy with sleep and he decided to turn around so he wouldn’t wake her and rest some more. However, to his surprise when he turned around, as if she were awake, she reached out her arms and pulled herself into him so she was the big spoon to his little spoon. He feel sleep again quickly.

For Emily waking up was one of the strangest moments of her life. Every muscle in her body was so relaxed and free of stress it felt as if even the forces of gravity had stopped weighing on her. She couldn’t remember why everything felt so good, she just basked in it. There was no thought given to time or her surroundings and it was almost as if she was still sleeping.

“mmmfgmamily” was the sound the interrupted her illusion. Scenes of the previous night flashed through her mind and she knew the sound had been Sidney in his sleep. The feeling of his big athlete’s body cradled in hers registered for the first time and an uncontrollable smile invaded her lips but at the same time she had to struggle to push the worries to the back of her mind.

That morning it took Emily 24 minutes to convince Sidney he should go to the optional skate. Perhaps a week ago she wouldn’t have been so selfless but she had seen Sidney’s dedication to his team and she could never stand in the way of that.

When Sidney woke up he seemed happy enough and it took a bit of pushing to get him to agree to go to the rink. She had to pull out the “I’ll be here when you get back” and the final clincher, “you’re the captain, you have to go”. It’s not that she didn’t want to be with him but perhaps some alone time, however brief, might remove the rose coloured goggles so she could objectively evaluate some things. Not to mention she really did believe that he had a responsibility to his team. “Would you look at me,” she’d say out loud as she threw on her jacket to leave the house, “talking about responsibility, that boy will be the end of me.” But the thought had brought a smile to her lips as she went out to her truck.

Everything about the morning was going quickly. It felt like no time had passed at all but by the text message she received from Max upon parking she knew Sidney was already at the arena so it had been longer than she thought.

From: Superstar25
What did you do to captain? He was late to skate and is humming. Has your extended presence in his house led him to a mental breakdown? We need him to play Jambes.

She laughed. It was typical Max but she couldn’t really think of a response. She was curious as to how different the captain was really acting or maybe Max was just making it up. What she really needed was some coffee so she slipped the phone into her purse, flung the strap across her and exited the car. The day was beautiful. It was slightly cool but the sun was burning brightly amid a soft blue sky.

A venti no whip white mocha was her only companion as she sat by the window to contemplate. What had last night meant? And what were her viable options?

Last night had been… what had it been? It had been perfect… near perfect… Her fingers tapped anxiously against her paper cup, even the aroma could not pull her from her thoughts.

She wondered what the dedicated hockey player expected from last night. They hadn’t really discussed it before he left, neither of them wanting to worry about getting an unwanted answer.

Her two options were to go back to Nova Scotia or to stay in Pittsburgh. And each of these options was littered with problems and rewards. Nova Scotia was her home, the one she yearned for. The only problem with that was although she missed the air and water of the maritime province one of the things that had always been a part of it was Sidney Patrick Crosby who was no longer within its geographic borders. Her true home did not exist anymore. It was a moment in the past when she had been young and he had been young, and they had best friends causing trouble in Cole Harbour. It was a point in her life that had been split in two and now she had to decide which piece of it mattered to her more. Was it Sidney that was more home to her? Or was it the atmosphere of her native city?

The large windows looked out on the beautiful day in front of her but not even that could distract her.

When making this decision she’d have to put the past behind her. She could not consider Nova Scotia based on her past in it and she could not consider Sidney based on the person he once was.

The Sidney she had grown to know over her stay was responsible and dedicated. He could still be fun when he wanted to be and he seemed to care about her as much as he always had, maybe more. They could still talk about hockey as long as she didn’t bring up the Habs. She still felt comforted by his presence when she wasn’t feeling well and he still thoughtlessly offered up tenderness. On the other hand, he had made it abundantly clear the other day that he thought she was irresponsible. Would he be so accepting of her lifestyle? How long could they continue before he got tired of her? She wasn’t a crazy party animal but she wasn’t ready to become a hermit. But maybe that didn’t even matter because if she did stay in Pittsburgh she would get her own place, right? What would people think if after a week with someone she just moved in? Regardless of their history together that was a big step. And if she stayed did that automatically make them a couple? Would she really be able to manage all these changes and a fresh relationship with someone she was still getting to know again?

What started off as a calm train of though slowly became more frantic until she felt the opposite of when she woke up that morning. The stress pressed down on her, gravity pulling on her like weights. She took a sip of the still hot drink and felt it warm up her insides.

There was no way she would find her answers alone, she would have to see Sidney.

---

Sidney towelled off the last droplets of water from his hair after practice. The only ones left in the room were Staal, Malkin, and Orphik but Sidney barely noticed them. He was eager to leave like his other teammates had.

“Practice good.” Geno’s accent broke the silence.
“Yeah, you were good out there buddy,” Staal pat the tall Russian on the back.
But that wasn’t what Geno had meant, “so was Crosby too.”

Sidney pulled his shirt over his head and looked up at the mention of his name to see Jordan and Geno smiling at him.

“Aside from the whole being an hour late part.” Brooks, normally quiet, added in.
“Better late and show up than play like yesterday.”
Sidney rolled his eyes at the three man laughing at Geno’s little joke. He pulled the hockey bag onto his shoulder, “I’m headed out.”
“Headed to a certain French singing, world travelling, blue eyed Nova Scotian?”
“Is Emily.” Geno looked at Jordan for confirmation he had understood him. To which Jordan nodded and the two men smiled.
"Maybe if you paid more attention to your game and not mine, you wouldn’t have missed that empty netter Geno.” Sidney smirked, satisfied for getting at least one rebuttal in. He knew they were just joking with him anyways.
Geno mumbled something in Russian under his breath, not impressed by the captain’s remark.
“Easy there captain, don’t get your panties in a twist.”
“Yeah yeah Staalsy. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

The drive home was quiet and offered some time for Sidney to think. He wanted nothing more than to get home to the girl with the lavender scented skin. He wanted to hold her in his arms like he had last night and take a wander down memory lane. He wanted to tell her how excited he was for the upcoming season and how much he wanted her at his first preseason game against Detroit.

When he pulled into his driveway Emily’s familiar truck was pulling in beside him at the same time. He found this amusing as he stepped out of the vehicle.

“Hey.”
“Told you I’d be here when you got back.” Sidney smiled and led Emily inside. He wasn’t sure exactly what to do next but he knew what he wanted to do.
“So what do you want to do tonight?” he asked.
“I’m kind of tired, how about staying in?”
She smiled and he kissed her temple, “sounds good to me.”

Although she loved the feeling of his lips anywhere on her skin the kiss made her feel slightly uncomfortable. She still was not sure what he was expecting but she couldn’t go on without finding out.

“We should probably talk about last night.”
Sidney dropped his key down on the table and walked to the couch, “okay.”
Emily did not move from the spot she was standing. “What did it mean to you?”
The hockey player’s legs rested on the table in a comfortable position but as he pulled his hand through his dark hair he looked anything but. “I don’t know. Are you still leaving in a week?”
“I’m not sure.”

The girl looked down at her feet. It was easier if she didn’t face him. She could tell he wanted more than that but if she gave more she’d have to commit to it. If she said it meant she was in love with him, which she was pretty sure she was, then there would be expectations put on her she wasn’t quite ready for. Labels like girlfriend, lover. She wasn’t sure she could fill the position even if she decided to stay.

“Well, if you’re staying until next week at least, then you have some time to think about it.”

He wanted to confess that he was absolutely head over heels in love with her and that he wanted her to move in with him and never leave. It all sounded crazy but they were best friends and even 5 years hadn’t changed that, even if it had changed them as people. It still felt so natural to talk to her about the most personal things and he still automatically went to comfort her when she looked like she needed it. Things weren’t awkward between them. Not even now that they had slept together. How could he ever find someone else like her?

She walked over to the couch and sat beside him, his strong arm coming down around her shoulders. “You’re not mad?”
Honey eyes looked down at her, “No, why would I be mad?”
“because I’m a pain in the ass who can’t give you any solid answers. And I know you always worked with certainties Sidney Crosby.”
She watched a reassuring smile grow as he pulled her close, “people can change. Plus, as long as you’re here now then I’m happy.”
And that was when she knew he was going to make the effort and if he was willing to do that perhaps all the chaos that would come with relocating might be worth it.