Harbour Lights and Lonely Nights

Saying good-bye wasn’t easy but at least it wasn’t permanent. The bittersweet separation held with it the promise of the more lasting presence of Emily in Pittsburgh and that thought kept the departing good-byes short.

The hardest part for Emily was those first few hours of the drive home where the initial shock of facing her decisions had to be met. Sidney was in quite a different position, able to post-pone that realization of her absence while he focused on the game he had to play that night.

Finally reaching Cole Harbour was a relief even when she had to pass the welcome sign with Sidney’s name on it. The familiar roads navigated themselves with little effort and the smell of the ocean settled into her skin. This time returning home felt a lot better. Her trip finally felt complete and closure had been found for her wanderlust. Home could feel more like home when the memory of Sidney’s smile was so fresh in her mind. She wondered how often he came home. She tried to picture the superstar stopping in at the diner she had paused for coffee at on her way. Did he still fish off the rocks near the lake? Did he still play hockey in the driveway with his sister Taylor?

At her house Emily’s parents were beyond happy to hear that she had sorted things out and that she would be returning back to school. Every parent hates to see their kids get off track as Emily seemed to have done. But more than that they were happy to notice a new confidence in their daughter. The daughter who had returned to them weeks before was aimlessly lost in every look and gesture. Not anymore. It wouldn’t come as any surprise to them that it should be the wonderful Sidney Crosby that helped her find her way. Even after all the mischief they could remember her getting into with the young boy from a few streets down they had learnt to trust him in a way that is rare for the parents of one daughter. Right from the inception of the friendship both sets of parents had noticed a genuine caring and respect shared between the two young teenagers that was rare. It was obvious that they would be a part of each other’s lives for a long time.

“So are you going to be taking your truck when you move there?” Emily’s mum asked as she watched her daughter click away on her laptop. The large dining room table was spread out with booklets and forms and papers. The deep blue eyes barely looked up from the screen.
“I was thinking of selling it and getting a car down there. I love my truck but it’s kind of impractical to have in Pittsburgh.”
“And you say this girl you met has an apartment you can live in?”
Looking up from the screen Emily saw her mother retrieving ingredients from the kitchen cabinets. It felt a little strange being in her childhood home where her mother was currently getting ready to cook her and her father some dinner. They would sit around the table and it would be as if she were a kid again. “Ya. She’s relatively close to campus and we get along really well.”
“What about Sidney’s?”
“That too ma. He wouldn’t be too far.”
“Glad to hear it,” with a loud sizzle the vegetables went in the pan and the room was filled with the familiar aroma of her mum’s cooking. Since she had been home Emily had once again gotten used to being home.
"How's he doing anyways?"
“He’s doing good I guess.” The truth was Emily hadn’t talked to him since returning home. “They won the first preseason games so he’s excited for the regular season to start. He’s determined to prove the habs knocking his team out last year was a fluke.”
A disapproving shake of her mother’s head “I’m sorry hun. I know Sidney is your friend but that was no fluke. As long as my Canadiens are on the ice you won’t find me cheering for Pittsburgh.” She covered a second pot and left them on the stove to cook, “but I’m still happy for the kid.”
“I have no idea how I’m going to handle it when they play each other.”
Her mother gave a knowing smile. The kind that always drove Emily crazy because it suggested there was some truth about herself that she was blind to but her mother assumed to know. “You’ve cheered on Montreal your whole life because you grew up in this house but I think your heart will be with Pittsburgh and that’s alright too.”
At the idea Emily rolled her eyes. It was like listening to an episode of Saved By The Bell. The type of moment that happens at the finish of shows where episodes end in perfect equilibrium but the characters have learned some “valuable” lesson.
No verbal response came from Emily but her mother could tell as she watched the dark haired girl type that the hockey player was not far from the girl’s mind.

Dinner with her parents felt oddly normal. As if it were an everyday occurrence Emily helped set the table for the delicious food. Conversation hovered around Pittsburgh like it had every night since her return. How are the plans coming? Have you filled out all the paperwork? Have you talked to Sidney?

In truth, Emily and Sidney didn’t contact each other after she left. She had needed a bit of space, it was understandable. Max, on the other hand, sent sporadic messages and updates. His sense of humour was charming and she could see why girls flocked to him. From her short time knowing him she knew him quite well. She had figured him out. And for this reason, while their friendship brought her happiness, she could never imagine anything more with the smooth-talking French man.

After dinner was finished Emily decided to walk to the harbour. It was one of her favourite places to be alone and she hadn’t had a chance to go since she got back. The walk itself, in the cool September air, helped clear Emily’s thoughts. She thought of what was ahead of her. The work that had to be done. Planning, organizing. Her parents mentioned that her little brother would be staying in town next weekend. It would be nice to see him; it had been a few years since he had gone off to college for mechanics.

As she neared the harbour the sound of the water lapping against rocks and sand gradually increased in volume. In the distance she could see the dark blue water where it met the darkening sky of soft grey-blue. Sails and boats crowded among the large wooden harbour. To Emily there would never be anything more beautiful than the waterfront here. Lights adorned posts and trees, on even as the last rays of sun still resided. It would only take 15 minutes for them to be starkly contrasted by a black sky. Her heart yearned for the hundreds of stars that would come out like light shinning through tiny pinholes in the blanket of night. This too was home.

”I can’t believe you just left Brittany, wasn’t that kind of a douche move?” Emily laughed as her feet tumbled quickly half way down the steep grassy hill.
“I didn’t really leave her. I got kicked out.” Sidney’s words were laced with distain.
“…and that’s why you don’t get in an argument with the brother of the guy who is hosting the party.”
A few shots of vodka raced through Emily’s blood which itself rushed to her hand. The pain that resided there was barely noticeable in the cool night air and the adrenaline still pushed it away.
Sidney shook his head, “yeah but I’m not the one who punched him.”
“No one calls my best friend a fag hockey player. Especially not some drunk idiot football captain.” Irrational anger pulled at her nerves, the alcohol blurring reason.
But Sidney didn’t seem as annoyed at the guy’s words even now. The redness of Emily’s knuckles was more of a concern. “You throw one heck of a punch Emily Greene.”
Amber eyes examined her hand but she was impatient and pulled away from his grasp. “I can take care of myself. You didn’t need to step in.”
“Now you tell me.”
Emily let herself fall down onto the grass of the hill which felt cool even through her sweater.
“Plus, I couldn’t not step in when some jock was groping you.” He added as he lay down beside her. Stars consumed the sky.
“Your girlfriend probably hates me.”
“You hate my girlfriend.”
Emily closed her eyes to stop the spinning. “That’s because she’s a bitch.”
“She’s not a bitch.” He tried to deny it but a part of him knew that there was truth in what his best friend said. What did that matter though? Brittany had a perfect hourglass frame and a luscious head of blond hair. So they didn’t have a lot in common, that’s what he had friends like Emily for.
“You should go back to the party or she’s not going to be very happy.”
“First of all, do you really think I’m going to leave you alone, outside, at night, drunk? Secondly, if I step foot in that house Derek is just going to kick me out again or his brother will. And finally, I can just talk to her and explain. She’ll understand.”
“No she won’t.”
“No, she won’t.” He repeated in an agreeing tone, “But she never stays mad for long.”


Sleep tugged at Emily’s eyelids as she looked out at the water. Her spot on the wooden dock gave her the perfect view of all the lights further down the harbour. Tonnes of little warm yellow lights like reflections of the stars. She wondered what Derek was doing now, what his brother was doing now. She wondered where Brittany had ended up and where Brian had ended up. Finally she had found some direction and it made her wonder if other people she had once known had too. Did it come easy to most people? How were there people like Sidney who knew what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives when they were still in elementary school?

Slowly, wondering anything took too much concentration in her tired state and she let all the thoughts float away in the breeze. All that had her attention was the relaxation of every last muscle of her body at the familiar sounds smells and sights of the harbour.

Her pocket vibrated with a phone call but she didn’t answer it. She wanted no intrusions into her little bubble. When her phone vibrated with a second call she turned it off without even glancing at the screen. She wanted to be left alone to reminisce under the harbour lights and with those memories try to dull the aching she felt to have the familiar set of warm eyes beside her.