Harbour Lights and Lonely Nights

Again class. Again work.

Emily stood leaning against the counter as the coffee maker bubbled. The aroma brought with it coherence, her mind starting to gain focus with the sharp scent. And with focus came the stress. Thoughts of all the things she had to manage in that day trying to arrange themselves into some sort of plan. And of course the topic of Sid, ever present in her mind.

So she pulled out her cell phone. Even though she knew it hadn’t rang, hoping for a new message, missed called, anything but seeing nothing.

There was however, her background, a photo taken on his couch, her petite hands covering his eyes, only his pouty smile visible of his facial features. And even then it made her smile. This photo was the dream team. The real one. The one that had always been and not what they had become since the Classic. She knew they would always be Sid and Em, if five years couldn’t destroy them, how could five days?

And she remembered his words to her not so long ago, and how sincere they had been.

“I know you’re scared but you don’t have to be. I went to the Igloo to think and I realized that I was being pretty selfish. I know it’s a scary idea to relocate your life here but I’m going to be here.” His eyes looking so direct and certain. All his words hitting all the perfect notes. “The guys love you. You fit so perfectly here, I don’t know why you would throw that away but I will support your decision if you chose to go back to Dal.”

Because he would always support her and every time she worried about it was baseless.

He said to her, “Haven’t we been friends long enough that you know I’m not going anywhere? I’ll always care about you. Even if you drive me crazy or upset me.”

The moment she found herself back in love with the amber eyed hockey player.

And as the coffeemaker beeped she thought that all this worry was a weakness. If there was one thing Emily hated, it was being weak. Everything she had managed over the years she hadn’t needed anyone, and now she felt so dependant on her old friend. It wasn’t fair to him, and it wasn’t fair to her. So she reassured herself this time because she already knew all the things that he would say if she told him. And the fact that he hadn’t said any of them lately, probably meant, more than anything, that something was wrong. Something had to be. They were never so out of step. Was it distance? Was it stress?

She resolved to find out and to be the support for him the he had been for her.

---

Her class that day, on media framing in journalism, was already her favourite. The topic kept her interested enough to pose questions to the professor, to feel engaged in something for the first time in a few days. This was the meat of what she wanted to be doing. Her professor, an older man who specialised in political science, seemed to enjoy her interjections and encourage them. A satisfied smile rested on her lips all the way back to the house. Barely halfway through the door she could hear the subtle noises of a television and started in on how great the class had been.

“I can’t believe my media framing class, its already the most relevant thing I’ve ever taken,” her voice drifted through the living room as she entered, Mischa not showing reaction as she stood behind the couch, eyes on the TV. “I really think it will be helpful. I mean this is what I want to be doing… Mischa?”

“I thought you would be with Sid.” By the way Mischa looked over at her, it was obvious she had a specific reason for her statement, and this made Emily’s gaze fall to the TV.

“why?”

The team has not publicly made a statement about the captain’s return to Pittsburgh but sources say it is to meet with team doctors. Speculation is directing attention to the awkward hit the centre received in the Penguins’ last game against Tampa Bay. What is confirmed is that although he made the trip with the team Sidney Crosby will not be playing tonight in Montreal.”

How could she not have known about this? Checking her phone she saw that he still hadn’t sent her any messages. When did he decide to head back? Was he already back? Even though the information had been so vague it sent her heart beating quicker in worry.

“Are you okay Em? You going to call him?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t leave any messages or anything. What if he’s on the plane? Should I text him?”

“Yeah, try that.”

To: Sid
What’s going on? Can you call me?

But so much time had passed before she got any response. So much time spent trying to find distractions that would never come.

Eventually, as her exhausted eyes began to droop as she sat on the couch, flipping through every sports channel hoping for a bit of news, her cell phone rang.

Almost like a mirage as she first looked down at it on the table before hastily grabbing it.

“Hello?!”
There was no response but she could hear a sigh that was so distinctly him that she didn’t need one.
“Please tell me what’s going on?”
“Nothing is going on Em. I’m just not feeling the greatest. The team doctor was checking me out when I got back. I’m home now.”
There was another pause as Emily tried to figure out what to do. She wanted nothing more than to be with him. To help him.
“Is everything okay?”
“The doctor says I am displaying concussion symptoms.”
“You have a concussion?”
“He hasn't said that, yet.” A hint of disdain in his voice.
“It’s been bothering you since the Winter Classic, hasn’t it?”
“Not now, Em.”
She sighed, hating the way they spoke. “You’ve been different since then.”
“It’s January Emily, there’s a lot of pressure on the team to do well going into the all-star break.”
“I know that’s not it.” She didn’t say it aggressively but it was gnawing at Sidney’s tired nerves,
“How would you know Em? I’ve been doing this for five years! And if I remember you weren’t there for that. You haven’t seen the real ups and downs of a season. It’s not all some cookie cutter life that’s your saving grace from all that bullshit you were pulling.”
“That’s not fair.”
And when Sidney gave it even a second more of thought he knew that too. Again, he sighed. “I know. I’m just tired. I need sleep.”
“Can I join you?”
“Please.”

”Are you kidding me? I thought you were feeling better?” The young girl stared in disbelief at her friend. His dark brown hair was tuffed at odd angles, his nose a red that would make Rudolph jealous. Amber eyes made duller by the dark cirlces beneath them.
“I was, but now I’m feeling so much worse!”
The girl shook her head and walked into the house. “Go back to bed. I’ll make you some tea.”
She got a grumble in response before he disappeared. She started brewing some green tea in the familiar rust red teapot. Adding just the slightest bit of ginger and honey.
Once she carried the steaming hot cup into his room, he was almost asleep, so she placed it beside him.
“Drink this and sleep.”
“But I can’t sleep.”
“Try.”
The young boy reached out for her arm. “Just stay and talk for a little bit. Please?”
And of course the girl pulled up a chair beside his bed.
“You first,” She said through a smile.
--

By the time Emily had reached the large familiar house Sidney was already in bed. She crept up the dark stairs, passed her old room that had barely been touched, passed the washroom, turning before she reached the office. Only the moonlight teased out enough detail for her to navigate to the bed, where Sidney’s broad hockey player shoulders faced her.

Slipping beneath the sheets he could feel her fresh coldness against him and a little of his tension went away. No words were said as slender arms reached around him. She could feel that he was awake from the rise and fall of his shoulder blades against her face. The smallest of kisses was placed squarely between them. And for a while the comfort of her presence drowned out the headache nagging him. She feel asleep with much more ease than he did.

The whole night he was so restless that he was in and out of bed. Sometimes he would think of what this meant for the team and he would get angry. The only solace he found was in the moments where he returned to the sheets and her warmth. Calming down at the sight of her peaceful sleep. He had to keep it together. For his team, and for her. No matter what was to come next.