Harbour Lights and Lonely Nights

The first place Sidney brought Emily was to his favourite restaurant. It was fairly casual, just the type of place Emily would have liked back in Cole Harbour. The day before Emily had passed the restaurant whether she noticed or not but being in it now she liked the relaxed atmosphere and surroundings. No one bothered them when they sat down. It was one of the reasons Sidney had come to love the restaurant so much. The staff and patrons always left him to his own.

“Have you seen any of the city yet?” Sidney asked taking a sip from his water. He would have been content to just watch her without words but he knew the situation called for conversation. It was still a little surreal that she should be sitting in front of him.
“I walked around a bit yesterday but I didn’t really know where to start.”
“It’s not the biggest city or the flashiest but there are definitely bits of it worth seeing.”
“Yeah? What do you do for fun around here?”
A momentary pause came when the waiter placed a plate in front of each of them before scampering off.
“For fun?” Sidney’s eyes scanned his plate as he unravelled his utensils from their cloth cocoon. “Well the guys like to go to a bar every once in a while, or this club downtown.”
“The guys? Does that include you?”
“Sometimes. I don’t really have a lot of spare time.”
“From the sounds of it, your teammates seem to manage.”
Sidney shrugged, swallowing a mouthful of food, “It’s a little different. I have different responsibilities. It doesn’t bother me too much though. I’ve always loved it.”

The dinner conversation mostly seemed to revolve around his training and how proud he was of what his teammates had been able to accomplish. To Emily it was obvious he wasn’t a selfish person, he loved his team and the hard work he put in was as much for them as it was for himself. However, she couldn’t believe how his life had been so consumed by it. The differences between this Sid and his 18-year-old self were glaring but she knew deep down, buried beneath contracts and endorsements, mortgages and car payments, his teenage self still existed. Or at least she hoped. In his amber eyes she thought she could see glimpses of him. Perhaps he just needed a reminder of what used to be just as good as hockey.

As the two walked along the Pittsburgh streets Emily saw a park. The paint was chipping off the metal frame and a small circle of light came pooled on the sand from high above. The consistency of the sand as her tennis shoes came down on it was a comforting feeling that egged her on.

“Swings? really Em?”
“You’re not going to tell me you’ve forgotten how to swing,” the girl said hopping on to the black plastic and wrapping her slender fingers around the chains.
“I haven’t been on a swing since I was a kid.”
He just needed some coaxing. She pat the empty swing beside her, her legs gently rocking her own swing back and forth, “and when did Sid the Kid stop being a kid?”
He watched the smile in her eyes plead with him, as if to say do it for me and he couldn’t say no to them. “You’d be surprised. I’ve had to grow up since high school.”
The chains squeaked sporadically as Emily’s swing moved back and forth, back and forth, and Sidney finally mounted his. The feeling when his feet left the ground reminded him of Cole Harbour. Sitting on the wooden swing his father put up every year and being pushed by his mother.
“That’s apparent. You’re not nearly as fun anymore.”
“I’m fun.”
“You’re a workaholic.”
“I got on the swings didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but not of your own volition.”
“My own volition? Am I being lectured now? Because really, I’ve heard it.”
Emily sighed, looking at her feet instead of the amber eyes she had missed so much, “Shouldn’t that tell you something? I don’t know what you’re so afraid of.”
“I get a lot of attention and I have a responsibility to act a certain way. It comes with the job.”
Sidney’s eyes looked over his carefree friend; the familiar blueberry already was looking back at him. He loved his friend, she had once been his only world outside of hockey but now she couldn’t possibly understand him. Their lives had taken diverging paths that had led them too far astray.
“But it’s just me right now Sid. You are allowed to have some fun even if you have become incapable of having it.”
“I’m not incapable of having fun.”
“Prove it.”
“What?”
“Prove it. Prove to me that you are capable of being as fun as you used to be.”
“How?”
Emily sighed, “If you’re so capable of having fun you should know how to have fun without having to ask.”

Sidney Crosby felt up to the challenge. He was determined to prove himself to Emily, even though it had never felt necessary before. It wasn’t’ like she had a monopoly on fun. How could she possibly pretend to know him after being gone for so long? There was much to him she would never understand.

“Okay,” the word was laced with determination, she could feel it in his movement to take her hand and guide her from the park. She laughed internally. Obviously her words had sparked something in him but she didn’t know what. A large part of her still expected this new Sidney to triumph over the old one and failure to ensue. They would end up walking around or he’d bring her to watch him work out. Maybe they’d get crazy and they’d have a glass of wine. She felt bad for giving him so little credit, especially when he started leading her into Mellon arena with a bag he had grabbed from his house.

The arena seemed pretty small and was completely deserted but as Sidney led her out on the ice in her shoes she was speechless. As they had approached the building he had pointed out the Consol Energy Center where the new season would be played but he wanted to show her this arena because it meant so much more to him.

“So, sneaking into my old arena, how is that for fun?”
“hmm… 6 out of 10. You’re doing to need to step up your game Cros.”
A cocky smirk took over his swollen lips as he reached into the bag and pulled out two puffy jackets and laid them down on the ice. With the sweater he had given Emily in the car wrapped tightly around her, she took a seat on the coat and Sidney did the same with the other. Between his legs the mystery bag still contained something and Emily curiously watched cross-legged as his hand disappeared into its depths once more.
“I think I’ve got just the thing,” his hand re-emerged with a bottle of Blue Sapphire and two pristine shot glasses. She was surprised he even owned any but they weren’t scratched or dull and probably had never been used. “I was thinking we could play ‘never have I ever’, like old times.”
A sense of triumph washed over him as he noticed her grin. “Maybe there is hope for you yet Sidney Crosby.”

“Okay I’ll go first,” Sidney smiled, starting slow, “Never have I ever tried escargot.”
Emily took a shot. “Never have I ever kissed someone of the same sex.”
To her disappointment Sidney didn’t take a shot. “Never have I ever been so drunk that I blacked out.”
Emily took another shot. “Never have I ever won the Stanley Cup.”
“Clearly someone is trying to get me drunk,” he took a shot.
“I don’t remember that being against the rules.”
“Never have I ever been to Australia.”
Sapphire eyes rolled, “Now who is trying to get who drunk?” She took a shot.
“Not at all, just trying to even the playing field.”
“But you’re two behind!” She didn’t care, she enjoyed the smile that rested on his pouty lips, “Never have I ever slept with a fan of another team.”
Sidney took a shot.
“Oh my God. That’s precious.” Emily laughed to Sidney’s dismay.

The game continued until both parties could no longer stomach fresh shots of gin. With the downing of the last shot Sidney let himself fall back onto the jacket and looked straight up lazily. The game changed to one of truth. Not truth or dare, and not truth or drink. You had the option of truth or truth but that didn’t bother to two, not with each other.

“How many girlfriends have you had since high school?”
“None, just random dates… How many boyfriends?” He mumbled in his drunkenness.
“None. Just a fling in England.” She pondered, searching for another question, “Sexual encounters since high school?”
That one took Sidney by surprise but he answered without flinching, “I am not exactly sure. Quite a few meaningless ones though.” His hazy mind grappled for a question, “Last time you got laid.”
“18 months ago. Have you ever been in love?”
Sidney was so surprised by Emily’s answer he barely noticed her question. How could someone so beautiful and full of life not have the sex-life of a goddess? Within the 48 hours she had been back in his life he had already thought about how amazing it might be to follow through on those unexplored teenage yearnings he had once had.
“Sidney?”
“Right. Love. Does hockey count?”
Emily shook her head, intently awaiting his answer.
“I don’t know, probably not.”
“Probably not? You don’t know? How can you not know?”
He sat up and looked at her. There was something unfamiliar in her eyes but it was mysterious and unknowable in a way he had never experienced with her. “Have you ever been in love?”
“I think so.”
“But you don’t know?”
Emily conceded, her face softening, “I see your point.”
“Who was it anyway? The guy you think you fell in love with?” Sidney grinned, “Don’t tell me it was that Brian kid from high school. That kid was so quiet I don’t think I heard more than 3 sentences from him the whole year you two dated.”
Her slender arm shoved him lightly, “Brian was nice.”
The comment only made him laugh, making Emily shove him harder, making his laugh more uncontrollable.
“Sidney!” One last shove sent his alcohol ridden body back to its lying position on the jacket and the hysterics only made Emily join in. She couldn’t help Sidney’s contagious high pitched laughter from consuming her.

When both of them finally settled down she lay beside him and rested her head on his chest. He smelt like the same fabric softener his mother used to use but it mixed with a hint of aftershave that had never been there before. Suddenly she missed the closeness of their old friendship but as they gazed over the empty seats she could feel it coming back.

“I’m going to miss this place.” Sidney rested a hand in her curls. Their warmth was felt in more than his hand, it spread like wildfire though him. “They’re planning to demolish it at the beginning of next year. I wanted you to see it.”
“mmmm” Emily mumbled sleepily into his chest and he knew as much as he loved the moment it was time to leave.
“Come on Em,” he cooed, “we should go, you’re sleepy.”
Moments passed with no response before she pulled herself from him and stood up groggily. The stuff was all shoved back into the bag and Sidney guided Emily off the ice. Nearly slipping a few times in his intoxicated state. By the time they were off the ice Emily could barely keep her eyes open even while walking. So, Sid crouched in front of her so she could mount on his back like she used to. He liked taking care of her, he always had but she didn’t give him much of a chance most of the time because she was so independent. These small moments were big for him.

After giving her a piggyback to the car and putting her in the passenger seat he realized driving was probably not the best idea so he called a cab. As they waited he watched her doze from his spot standing in the passengers door, ready to wake her when their ride arrived. Her new lavender scent filled his nose and an inhale of the outside air started to sober him up. The gravity of their little game only reaching him now. She had asked if he had ever been in love and what had he said? Probably not? Real smooth. Where had the answer even come from? He was certain he loved her and cared for her more than it was normal to but all those years ago had he fallen in love with her? Surely falling in love did not involve leaving that person for 5 years with little to no contact. Plus, he had only been a teenager, too young to know real love. Hormones had obscured things as they always do.

“Em?” gently he tried to wake her, “the taxi is here.”

She mumbled and opened her eyes, no recollection of the trip from the ice to the car but it didn’t matter as Sidney locked the SUV’s doors.

“I’ve been thinking,” He spoke up as he led her to the cab, “You don’t have to stay in a hotel. You can have my guest room.”
She used him for support as she walked, “thanks mmmmm that’s great idea.”
He smiled, no he grinned, no he beamed. It was settled. She would stay with him. He liked that even after all these years he could have a little hand in taking care of her and he liked that he would get to come home to her, even if temporarily.