To Fill the Void

The wind pushed the boy’s hair into his green eyes, as he cocked back his head in laughter. The sky was starting to turn into a swirl of gray as clouds began to form over the school campus, while I sat across the table from Adrianne, punching him as he mocked me.

“Shut up!” I narrowed my eyes at him, watching as he continued to laugh while rubbing his arm. It was Friday, almost a week since I had seen John, but that was mostly due to school. Adrianne had invited me to lunch at the café located on the UA campus, and who was I to say no to a free meal?

“But that is just -what the hell? You punched a kid because he took your swing?” I rolled my eyes, sucking on the tea in my hand while chewing the straw between my teeth. I nodded as he shook his head at me, his hair falling into his face as he did so.

“Weren’t you a bad ass.” He calmed down before taking another bite of the sandwich set in front of him. The Arizona heat started to get cooler as the sun was covered by the forming storm clouds, leaving the afternoon sky a dark shade of gray.

“Still am, but I better get going,” I half smiled, pointing to the sky. “It’s going to rain.”

“Oh, yeah. Here, I’ll walk you to your car.” Adrianne paid for our meal, as I gathered my books set in the chair next to me.

We held small talk as Adrianne walked closely by my side through the cross campus walk, as thunder began to ripple through the sky. My phone would occasionally vibrate in my pocket as I smiled knowing that it was John, considering since our date he had started texting me throughout the days till we saw each other again, which hadn’t happened yet. Brookelle had flipped shit like always, and even took the liberty of calling Tony for me; they had become best friends in no time.

I hadn’t seen much of the Maine boys due to school, but Pat or Garrett would always turn up at my house when I got home from school, they made things easier with being there. Between school and being at home to do school work, I hadn’t gotten out much, which led to more of my ghosts haunting me; I was just glad that the two boys were there to distract me when Brookelle wasn’t.

The walk didn’t take as long as it did on the way over, and we soon arrived at my brother’s car parked next to my grandmother’s old clunker. I smirked as I took my brother’s keys out of my bag, and made my way around to the driver’s side, Adrianne following in step.

“I feel bad for the guy who has to drive that thing,” Adrianne nodded his head toward the old car that belonged to my grandmother, as I smiled shaking my head.

“My brother has to since I stole his keys,” I jingled them before opening the door and setting my things in the passenger seat. Turning around to say my goodbyes to Adrianne, I was caught off guard by the fact he had stepped closer to where I was almost pushed up against the side of the car. I eyed him uncomfortably, fixing my eyebrows in confusion.

“I’ll see you later,” Adrianne bent down and kissed my cheek, leaving the touched skin in a fit of tingles. Watching my face flush to a shade of pink, he smiled at my reaction. “We should do this again.”

Nodding slowly, I avoided his eyes as I got back into the car and started the ignition. Rain began to pelt against my windshield as I quickly made my way out of the parking lot in hope to avoid the familiar black motorcycle, before turning onto the highway on my way home. Mindlessly, I found my fingers touching the kissed skin as a feeling of regret began to fill my stomach, while I tried to push down the lump forming in my throat. We were friends, and he was going to make things complicated.

The rain began to fall harder as I sat in bumper to bumper traffic, the sky growing darker as I hit the horn in aggravation before picking up the phone that laid next to me. The screen flashed two text messages, one from Damon and the other from John, as I quickly read Damon’s.

The guys are coming over tonight, pick up some food?

I sighed as I quickly texted him and John back, before cutting my way off the highway and onto the exit that led into town. The rain hit the car in a series of pounding as I sped my way into town and parked myself outside of the small super market, leaving the rain flowing down my windows in pools.

Damn it.

I hadn’t expected it to rain, and now I was left with no umbrella or jacket, leaving myself having to run into the store. Pushing my wallet and phone inside my jeans, I quickly sprinted across the parking lot with not much luck of staying dry as I was almost to a light soak when I reached the glass doors. The AC hit me like a brick, sending shivers up my spine along with a series of goose bumps. Grabbing a cart, I made my way toward the snack isle, already knowing what to pick up.

Doritos, Sun Chips, Cheetos, and a can of Pringles filled my cart as I exited the isle, and wondered around the rest of the small store. My elbows pushed the cart slowly as I stared down at the text message in my hand from John.

I see you.

What the hell did that mean? I looked up around me and saw no one but a few soccer moms doing their shopping, before I turned back to my phone to reply. Shaking my head I continued through the aisles, making a stop at the one stocked full of candy as I tried to find the right kind. I chewed on my lip as I skimmed the different kinds of sweets, and smiled when I found the one I was searching for. Peach Rings. I threw in a bag of Sour Patch Kids before looking down at my phone and pushed my cart right into someone when I wasn’t looking.

“I am so sorry!” I panicked before looking up at the drenched boy who wore his famous cocky smile. My bitten lip turned into a smirk as he made his way around the basket and next to me.

“Hello, lovely.” John mused as he opened his arms for me to walk into. I eyed his drenched body, shaking my head as he began to step closer to me. Despite my cries and hands against his chest, John hugged me causing my thin shirt to dampen more than it had been before.

“John!” I pouted, pushing his laughing body away from me as I began to walk away from where he stood. I honestly didn’t mind his touch, as it sent a series of flips in my stomach, a good feeling.

“Ellie!” John called as he caught up next to me, and pushed me aside so he could push the cart. I didn’t resist his offer, as I began to try fanning my shirt of the rain.

“What are you doing here?” I smiled at him, as I placed two liters of soda into the cart, and motioned for him to follow me.

“I was in town with the guys and you said you were here, so I ran over to help you.” John grinned as he reached into one of the freezers and pulled out a frozen pizza. I eyed him before he pouted and placed the pizza in the cart as well.

“Oh,” My attention turned back to the food as I tried to think of anything else to pick up. My grandmother hadn’t mentioned needing anything since my brother and I didn’t eat much at home anyway, and the guys would probably be bringing beer and other food with them.

I jumped as my thoughts were interrupted with lanky arms snaking their way around my waist and a head placed on my shoulder. John’s hair brushed against my face as I fell back against him, letting him support our weight, and a smile began to form on my face with the rush of butterflies filling my stomach.

“I missed you,” John breathed against my exposed skin, burring his mouth into my shoulder. I couldn’t help but laugh at the scene we were having in front of the frozen pizzas causing John to turn me around in his arms to look up at his confused look. “What?”

“Sorry, I just- we are standing in front of frozen food, romantic, huh?” I laughed, watching as he blushed and chuckled lightly. Trailing after me with his hand laced in mine, I pushed the cart to the front of the store to check-out, as the teenager behind the counter began to ring up our groceries.

Once the girl told me my total, I began to reach for my wallet when John stopped me and handed the girl his credit card. The blonde girl smirked at him, before swiping his card and turned back to hand him to sign the receipt. I watched as the small girl eyed John, ignoring the fact I existed, but noticed that our hands were laced, and hardened her eyes at me.

“Here you go, Mr. O’Callaghan.” She winked at him, as she handed him his card and John thanked her before we took our bags and sprinted for my car.

“Here you go, Mr. O’Callaghan.” I mimicked the girl’s high voice, laughing as John sat in the passenger side of Damon’s car.

“She was being nice!”

“Well then I missed my wink!” I said, feeling a bit of jealousy as I drove us out of the parking lot and back onto the main road. Just the way the girl looked at him and ignored my presence bugged me.

“Are you jealous?” John asked, making me shift my stare from the road to him. I narrowed my eyes as his smile grew into a huge grin and ran his hand through his hair.

“No,” I muttered, but knew he didn’t believe my answer. The car became silent as John dropped the subject, but didn’t drop the smile placed on his face. Get Scared filled the silence, as the rain picked up, hitting harder on the car as I pulled us into my neighborhood and into my driveway.

The Maine’s white van sat parked next to my grandmother’s dinosaur of a car, taking up my parking space leaving me to park behind their van. John grabbed most of the bags, leaving me to bring in the soda as I didn’t care anymore to the fact it was raining, knowing I was just going to change when I got inside.

“I’m home!” I yelled as I walked into the house behind John, and made my way past the living room full of the boys. They called their hellos, too consumed in the game set before them, as Kennedy yelled at my brother for killing his character.

I threw my brother’s keys on the counter, and began to unload the bags of food, which Pat made it his job to take to the living room where everyone sat. John leaned against the counter watching as I walked around the kitchen, putting the pizza in the heated oven, and as I tried to reach the plastic cups that were stacked at the top of the refrigerator. My now soaked shirt clung to my skin, as I successfully grabbed the cups and got down from my tiptoes, as I poured myself a cup of soda.

“Want some?” I gestured my cup to the soda, smirking at the fact that I had broken his stare from my exposed skin where my shirt had ridden up. John shook his head as he grew a light shade of red knowing that I had caught him. “I’m going to go change.”

Leaving John in the kitchen I padded my way to the front of the house, where the front door burst open to reveal a soaked Brookelle. Her hair was a mess under her hoodie, as she threw her purse to the ground and took off her hoodie to throw it alongside the bag. Turning to me she grimaced, as she pulled at her wet hair.

“Want some clothes?” I asked as I laughed at her imperfect appearance. Without an answer she followed behind me up the stairs into my room where I handed her a pair of my pajamas, which she didn’t resist to strip and dress herself in.

“I’m staying over, is that okay?” I shrugged as I began to dress in the used pajamas that were laying on my bed, pulling my damp hair behind my head into a clip. “So, your grandmother is okay with us all being here?” Her voice sounded tired as she threw herself onto my bed, and I took up the space next to her.

“She’s actually on some trip with her friend for the weekend, but she doesn’t mind.” I let out a sigh, as my body melted into the bed. It had a been a stressful week, the images replaying in my head, as it finally reached today when I had lunch with Adrianne. He kissed me, on the cheek, but had kissed me none or less. I didn’t know what to think of it.

“Do you know what the guys have planned for tonight?” Brookelle sighed heavily, as she began to burry herself in one of my pillows.

“John said something about movies, but I know Pat doesn’t sit well during those.” I laughed, thinking of how I had tried to get him to watch a movie with me once, but he ended up complaining the whole time.

“Oh, John.” She laughed as I hit her side, before turning back to the ceiling. I couldn’t help but smile at his name, but the memory of Adrianne hit me out of the back of my mind, and guilt filled my stomach.

A knock came at the door and opened to reveal a smirking John, as he took in the scene before him.

“Mind if I join?” He laughed, but didn’t give us a chance to answer before throwing himself between us on the bed. Brookelle scoffed as he nearly pushed her off the bed, before she got off and winked at me over her shoulder and left the room.

“I guess you can,” I smiled as I turned my head to face him. His eyes met mine as he propped his head up on his elbow, looking down at me. He became hesitant as he took in my newly exposed skin shown by my tank top, and shly reached his hand to lace with mine that lay on my stomach. The feeling of his skin touching mine sent a rampage of tingles through my body, as I looked down at our hands, playing with his long fingers in my short ones.

John slyly placed a kiss on my forehead, causing me to look up into his green eyes that now only were a few inches from my own. The corners of my mouth tugged my smile into a full on grin, as we laid in silence staring at one another. The way his hair fell into his eyes brought the image of Adrianne filled my vision, as I shakily moved it out of the way and he let out a sigh against my face.

My smile slowly fell; Fuck.