To Fill the Void

“So, his name is John.” The boy’s smile was smug, a smirk forming as he watched me cover my face with my hands. His laughter causing my computer’s speakers to fuzz at the loud chiming, while the now brunette half blonde boy sat on the other side of the computer screen.

I missed the warm brown eyes and easy going attitude of my best friend Tony, his hair framing his pale face and sticking up every other way. From what I could tell in the screen he wore his famous All Time Low band tee, fitting his small shaking figure.

I missed him and the way he could easily make me forget my problems by making me laugh at complete nonsense. Just seeing him brought back the memories of how I met him in the eighth grade, after having skipped gym with him to go out to eat with a few of his high school friends. Tony had always been popular, especially in high school, how he became friends with me? I had no idea, but he did. He would tell me that I had only been the true friend he had, not someone looking for a fuck buddy or someone interested in what he had always been in full stock of, drugs. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t some kind of high up the ass moron, he knew what he was doing was wrong and told me not to do it, it’d screw up my life and that his didn’t matter considering his had already been screwed over.

I managed a nod as I continued to look into the cocky smile on the screen.

“Sounds kind of fancy.” Tony laughed before going into a British accent. “Oh, Johnny boy, time for tea!” He held an invisible cup in his hand, extending his pinky finger as he pursed his lips.

“Hey!” I laughed, my stomach growing in pain.

“Anyway, he asked you out? Someone’s got the hots for my little Ellie.” His voice turning stern as he looked into the webcam seriously.

“What are you doing?” I scrunched my eyebrows, staring at his pained face.

“Trying out my bad ass face, just in case I have to kick some Arizona ass.” He lifted part of his lip to reveal his teeth.

“You look like an idiot.” I shook my head.

“Well aren’t you nice! Here I am, withering away without you, while you’re off on a date!” He pretended to cry. Oh, how I missed this.

“It’s not a date, all he said was that it was a surprise. Plus, I miss you Tony Tiger.”

“It’s a date, El.”

I began to shake my head as my door opened to reveal a very overjoyed Pat Kirch, his arms flailing as he dove on top of my sitting figure. “Ellie, I missed you!”

“I missed you too, Pat.” I laughed as he wrapped his arms around me, pinning me to the bed. Someone cleared their throat as I looked over at the laptop sitting next to us, Tony’s face a bit awkward.

“Sorry, Tony. This is my friend Pat.” I smiled, moving the laptop to where the webcam picked up the smiling boy next to me.

“Hi!” He beamed, sitting up on his side from where he laid behind me. Tony smirked before greeting him, his eyebrows raised at me as I turned the camera to show both of us.

“He’s friends with John.” I commented.

“Ahh, then Pat, this thing with Ellie and John tonight is a date, right?” His eyebrows remaining raised as he stared at the long hair boy. Pat simply nodded before wrapping his arms around my waist.

“And I know what the surprise is!” He mocked, letting go of my waist with a satisfied smirk, and rolled over on his back.

Before I could ask, my voice was cut off by the small brunette as she marched herself into my room, closing the door behind her. Brookelle smiled, before looking me over, the smile turning into a grimace.

“Elizabeth! You’re not even showered yet, and it’s,” she looking down at her watch wrapped around her small wrist. “Five!”

“I was getting to that, Brooke, chill!” I sighed, waving her over to where Pat and I sat. “I want you to meet someone.”

Brookelle made her way over to my bed, sitting at the edge where he legs hung off barely hitting the floor.

“This is my other best friend, Tony. Tony, this is Brookelle. Now you two play nice while I go take a shower before Brookelle flips shit when she finds out that I haven’t found something to wear yet.” I said quickly, waving to Tony as I made a sprint for my bathroom. I could hear a few shouts behind the closed door, as the two boys laughed in response.

Stripping of my clothes and stepping into the hot water, I took a long shower just to get on Brookelle’s nerves. She had flipped shit when I told her about John wanting to take me somewhere, as she went into a rave about how we needed to plan everything down to what scent I would wear. Honestly, that was just too much, and not my thing. But none or less, I asked her to come over and help me get ready. She was my best friend after all, the beauty queen herself.

Enveloping myself in a towel, I peered into the room on the other side, seeing that all three had vacated my room. My laptop was gone off my now mess of a bed, and in its place were articles of clothing that I knew Brookelle had placed out for me. Looking over the outfit before me, I knew it was going to be the best I could do, given that I wouldn’t have thought of something like this in the first place.

Drying myself off and placing my wet hair in damp towel, I began to clothe myself, the material sticking to my skin. Once fully dressed, I called for Brookelle as the rest of the hour was filled with none other than her picking and applying makeup and jewelry, as Tony and Pat talked to themselves watching as I tried hard to resist.

---

“Do I look okay?” I asked for the millionth time, my nerves bursting at the seams, but I managed to keep calm. I hadn’t been on a date in a long time, and I meant long. The last time being eighth grade year, when both of us had been awkward, and kissing someone in the movie theater never was as clean as it was shown on the screen.

“You look pretty!” Pat smiled from where he sat on my living room couch, before turning his head back to the show playing on the TV screen. I smiled idly, smoothing the cotton of the dress that pressed against my body.

It was almost seven, as I paced around the house trying to pass the time. Having cleaned the kitchen table, rearranged the pillows around where Pat sat on the couch, and fixing my curly hair under my beanie, I was left sitting on the couch next to Pat. My leg continued to bounce off the ground as I watched the cartoons that were taking up Pat’s full attention.

At exactly seven, the doorbell sounded throughout the empty house. Damn, wasn’t he punctual? My brother had already left with Brookelle at his side for the night, while my grandmother had plans with one of her friends, leaving me to answer the door. I turned to Pat as I got up from the old sofa, shaking my hands as I walked sheepishly to the door.

I opened the door to be faced with the tall lanky boy, his smile radiating in the dim sky. He wore a pair of black skinny jeans, along with a washed-out tee that was covered by a dark blazer. His hair enveloped his face as he gazed down at me, whispering a simple ‘hi’ as his smile grew bigger.

“Hey,” I breathed, my hands smoothing out the simple dress. “Uh, I hope that I’m dressed okay for whatever we’re doing.” I became nervous taking in his attire and looking down at mine.

“You look beautiful,” The heat raised in his cheeks, turning them a light pink and I knew mine had darkened by ten different shades of red. That damn smile.

“Thanks,” I couldn’t stop smiling, as I broke my graze from his. “Uh, ready to go?”

“Whenever you’re ready,” he watched as I grabbed my bag and keys off the small table behind the door, as I called my goodbyes to Pat.

“Where’s your creeper van?” I asked with a smile, now looking at the old truck that sat parked in my empty driveway. It was an off red, rusted in some parts as it showed its age.

“We won’t need that tonight.” He smirked, opening the door for me before closing it. Jogging around the vehicle, he buckled himself in before starting the ignition and backing his way out of the drive.

“What exactly are we doing?” I raised my eyebrows at him, as he pulled his way onto the main road.

“A surprise, I told you!” He toyed, as his eyes shifted from the road to me. I narrowed my eyes at him playfully before crossing my arms in protest. He wasn’t going to budge any time soon.

As I watched the city lights pass by in the car window, I saw John’s movements from the corner of my eyes as he reached to turn on the radio between us. His IPod was plugged into the system, as he scrolled through the music, diverting his eyes from the road to the small device every few seconds. Music began to seep through the speakers filling the car as he chose the song, and once again turned to the road with a smile. The lyrics began to go through my head as I couldn’t help but mouth the words to the song, it was Ivory.

“You know Ivory?” John asked with a smirk, his eyes watching me. I felt a little embarrassed that he had been watching me lip sync to the song, but simply nodded with a smile.

“Been a fan for quite awhile.” I sighed, as I swayed in my seat to the beat.

“Most people didn’t know them,” He commented, tapping his hands on the steering wheel.

“I’m not like most people.”

---

“We are here!” John announced in the middle of my fit of laughter, his joke had been lame but having forgotten the punch line, he still made me laugh.

I looked out the open car window, my jaw dropping at the sight of what he was pulling into line for. We sat in a line of cars that were paying to get into the drive-in theater that was set on the outside of town, the lights of the city behind us in the distance as the movie theater was lit by the retro broadway signs, reading that this was the entrance to the Tempe Drive-in Theater.

I know it sounds odd to be excited to be at a drive-in theater, given how old they were, but I had always wanted to go to one. Neither of my parent’s ever had time to take my brother and I to one, but having watched and obsessed over 70s and 80s movies, it was like a dream to be pulling up to one.

“I never knew we had one of these,” I said a little breathless and I couldn’t help but grin. John had been nervously biting his lip, but seeing my face he instantly perked up as a smile began to play his lips.

“Have you been to one before?” John asked as we moved further up in line behind the black van in front of us.

“My parent’s didn’t have time to take me,” I said a little sadly, remembering how busy they used to be with work. Just the thought of them made my stomach swarm.

“Oh, well, I’m glad to be taking your virginity.” My eyes widened at his words as he turned to look at my shocked expression. “I- I mean. I meant your drive-in theater virginity. Not your actual virginity, I don’t even know if you are a virgin. I mean, of course you are, I-”

“It’s fine.” I laughed at his awkward ramblings. That was just too cute.

“Sorry..”

“It was cute, don’t worry.” I smirked at him.

“You think I’m cute?” I could hear the smirk in his voice as he regained his cocky composure.

“Don’t ruin the moment by putting words in my mouth!” I warned as I rolled my eyes, biting my lip I turned away from his face. A blush making its way onto my face.

In a matter of minutes John had pulled up to the entrance where he paid for both of us and found a place to park the truck in the dirt field. The only problem had been that he had parked us opposite of the screen, to where we were facing the black sky that spread above the Arizona desert before us.

“You parked wrong,” I hated to break it to him.

“No.. Follow me, darlin’.” John held out his hand to me, having opened the door already as the humidity welcomed me instantly. Grabbing his hand, he hesitantly laced them together as I squeezed them reassuringly before he walked me around the back of the truck.

It was a regular Arizona night, no doubt. People ran around in shorts and tank tops as the hazy night brought nothing but humidity. The smell of popcorn filled the air as I skidded across the dirt covered ground behind John; the theater was playing some of the popular radio hits as he rounded the back of the truck.

John couldn’t help but bite his lip as he didn’t let go of my hand to push down the gate to the truck’s bed. Laid down on top of what would be the plastic bedding was a series of quilts, leading to where a few pillows sat propped against the back of the bed. The air catching in my throat as I looked at the display and John stood awaiting my reaction.

“This looks amazing,” I grinned biting my tongue as he caught me off guard by placing his hands on my waist, lifting me into the back with ease. Crawling on my knees, I made it to the back where I leaned against the pillows as John copied my actions.

“You like it?” He questioned, lacing our fingers together again nervously. I nodded with a smile, as I slid farther down the pillows to where I was staring at the sky. That was the best part of Arizona, at least in the Tempe area; you could see the starry night sky. Florida didn’t have this, I remembered; it was just as humid but it was nothing more than a bustle of attraction lights and foggy skies.

“It’s hard to see the stars back in Florida,” I commented, John’s eyes never leaving my face as I looked up into his green orbs. “My dad used to take my brother and I out sometimes with one of his telescopes, even though it wasn’t really needed, he taught us all the stars. It’s funny, he used to make stories actually.” A lump got stuck in the middle of my throat as I told John about this memory, I didn’t know why I was sharing it, but it felt nice to talk about it.

“What were the stories about?” John asked as he slid down next to me, pulling our hands to where they rest on his chest.

I swallowed. “I can’t remember.”

The tension grew between us as I stared into the seemingly endless sky above us, my stomach making flips as I blinked the memories from my eyes. John began to stroke his thumb across my hand comfortingly, as I sat up to look at the big screen that was playing a few commercials while people continued to pull in.

“Are you hungry?” John asked from beside me, having let go of my hand as his arms now rested behind his head looking up at me.

“Starving, actually.” I admitted with a laugh.

“I shall be back then, my lady.” He said with a smirk before jumping over the side of the truck and made his way to the concessions stand. He was a dork.

Pulling my legs to my chest, I sat watching as the previews began to illuminate on the white screen and the lights around the park began to dim. Girl’s and their boys sat in their cars as a few sat together on blankets and lawn chairs at the edge of the screen, all reminding me of a 70s movie. All you needed was a guy in a leather jacket, which one surely walked past me, kicking up dirt with his cowboy boots.

Instinctively, I began to pull down on the dress that remained pressed against my legging covered legs, and adjusted the beanie at the back of my head. A nervous habit. Just the sight of John’s eyes being on me broke down part of the strong walls I had built around me, as he made me antsy and giddy at the same time.

“When I stepped out into the bright sunlight, from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman, and a ride home.” I spoke the first lines of Ponyboy’s voiceover as the movie began, smiling at the fact I remembered the lines; I used to love this movie.

“You like the Outsiders?” John caught me off guard as my heart began to pound in my chest. Even after I had gotten over the fact that he scared me, the pounding remained.

“Hell yeah, I used to watch it all the time!” I smiled as he handed me our drinks over the ledge of the bed before he hopped in holding out food. Handing him one of the cups, he handed me a burger before biting into his.

“I’m a vegetarian,” I started, watching as his face dropped. Laughter began build up inside of me as he began to bite his lip, trying to form words. “I’m kidding.”

“Don’t do that!” He whined, pushing me with his free hand, watching as he made sure I took a bite of the burger in my hands.

“Do you think you got enough food?” I commented after taking a sip of the Coke, eyeing the amount of food that sat between us. He had taken the liberty of purchasing us a large popcorn, an assortment of candy, and two water bottles.

“I didn’t know what you liked.” He said simply, as his attention shifted back to me.

“Well,” I picked up the package of Sour Patch Kids from the pile. “These are my favorite.”

“And these,” John held up the bag of Peach Rings, “are my love.”

“Those are good, but nothing compared to the sour goodness of these.” I popped one into my mouth before moaning as the taste exploded on my tongue.

“Don’t hate on my peaches!” John laughed as we turned back to the movie playing. I watched as the scene I’ve seen so many times moved in front of my eyes, watching as Dallas messed with the red headed Cherry that sat in front of the greasers in an old vintage drive-in.

The two of us sat staring at the screen, my gaze occasionally glimpsing to the corner of my eye to look at John, who wouldn’t catch my stare. Feeling his eyes turn to me, I caught his gaze with a smile, as he reached and laced out fingers together.

Fully aware of what I was doing, I let my body scoot closer to his as I leaned my body against his. He didn’t stiffen, but gently placed his head on top of mine that rested on his shoulder, pulling our hands to lie on our legs that lay side by side.

I could get use to this.