Somebody to Love Me

My heart pounded and my mind swirled with a million and one questions. What was I going to do now? If I tell Drew, he'd never let me leave, but on the other hand, this is his child too and he has every right to know, right? That would have to be dealt with later. The question that was weighing the heaviest in my mind was how was I going to tell John? I had to mentally push that to the back of my mind and focus on the most important thing right now. Going to the doctor to make sure my baby was okay. Things with Drew have been getting nasty lately with his temper and he's been really grabby so I wasn't really sure what kind of condition I was in and that scared me. My baby shouldn't have to suffer too. Right then and there, I decided that Drew had to be told immediatly. I can't risk putting an innocent life in danger by not telling him.. After brushing my teeth and rinsing my mouth, I made a call to the closest clinic and set up an appointment. The receptionist told me I could come in at three thirty. When that was set up, I called Vince and told him about my condition and he gratefully gave me a year off
"Would it be okay if I still traveled with Drew until I get close to my due date?" I asked eagerly. There was no way I was staying home alone while Drew was on the road
"Of course. As long as your careful with yourself and get monthly check-ups with our full time doctor. We don't want any accidents. Have you told Andrew yet?" he asked
"I haven't yet and I would appreciate it if I was the first one to tell him" I cautioned. Leave it to Vince and the whole company would know.
Of course. Congradutaions on the big news, Mia. Have a nice day" he said formaly
"Thank you, Mr. McMahon, you too" I said before hanging up. I padded downstairs, the First Response pregnancy test in one hand, the box in the other. I ripped the box up and threw the evidence in the trash. My stomach growled and I searched the fridge for food. Not satisfied with anything in there, I ordered two large Triple Meat pizzas from Pizza Hut and called Nikki and told her to come over. She was suprised that I called, but agreed to come anyway. When the pizza came, I snuggled up on the couch in the living room and ate while watching TV. When I got halfway through the first box, the doorbell rang
"It's open!" I yelled, feeling too lazy to get up
"Mia?" I heard Nikki call
"I'm in the living room1" I shouted lazily
"Hey!" she said rounding the corner into the living room " I'm so glade you called! I've missed having you around" she said, hugging me tightly
"I missed you too Nik. I'm sorry we haven't spent any time together. It's just that Drew and I have been going through a lot lately" I said, reaching for another slice of pizza and took a big bite
"It's okay girly. Your a married woman. Things happen. Is Everthing okay?" she asked
"Yeah everything is..fine" I lied, not meeting her eye, finishing off the rest of my pizza. Nikki opened the box and eyed me curiously
"Is Drew here too? I didn't see his car outside" she asked, staring at the last two slices of pizza in the box before closing it
"Nope, he went to the gym with Jack and Cody. I'm here alone" I told her, running my hands through my messy hair
"Okay, I know there is no way in hell you ate over six slices of pizza by yourself. You have the food intake of a squirrel. What gives? Your eating like your pregnant or something" she said, picking up aa slice of pizza for herself
There was an awkward silence as I looked down at my hands then at Nikki, who's eyes were wide with shock as she put two and two together
"Oh my god, your pregnant!" she sqealed, hugging me
" Promise you won't tell anyone. I haven't even told Drew yet" I said sharply
"Only if you promise to let me and Brie plan yoyr baby shower!" she said releasing me
"Nik, that's like seven months from now!" I stated
"Promise!" she demanded
"Okay geez! I promise!" I assured her. Lord help me. There was no restraining the Bellas when it came to planning events
"Yay! I can't wait! So how long have you known? When are you going to tell Drew" she asked excitedly
"I just found out this morning. I have an appointment at 3:30. I have no clue when I should tell Drew. There's never really a good time" I said, turning off the TV. It was 2:30. " should get dressed now" I said as I got up, stretched, and made my way upstairs with Nikki behind me. She followed me down the hall into my bedroom and lounged on my bed as I got ready. I wanted to be comfortable so I settled with this:
http://www.polyvore.com/check_up/set?id=35038296

Then I pulled my hair out of its messy bun and brushed it out. As I searched my jewelry box for my wedding ring, the glint of something sparkly caught my eye. I pulled it out and couldn’t help as a smile played on my lips as a memory hit me

*Flashback- 2008 WWE Draft*

Team Smackdown just won the Diva’s Tag Team match, earning one draft pick. I watched as various faces flashed on the screen, my heart pounding uncontrollably. When the screen came to a stop, I saw my face and my heart dropped into my stomach. I was going to Smackdown. My music hit and I stepped through the curtain, smiling for the crowd as they roared with approval. I tried my best to make it seem as if I was excited to be moving over to the Blue Side, but I was truly dying. When that was over with, I went backstage and was greeted with “Congratulations!” , and hugs from all my friends. After hugging all of the other Divas, there was only one person left. John. He stood, leaning against the wall, face heavy with remorse as I made my way over to him and he pulled me into a tight hug

“I’m going to miss you so much, baby girl” he whispered, hugging me tighter

“I’m going to miss you too, John. More than you’ll ever know” I assured him, tears sliding down my cheeks

He pulled away and wiped away my tears with his thumbs

“Don’t cry. Mia. This is a good thing for you. They need you over there. Now you can finally get that title shot you deserve”

“Is it John? I mean how are we going to…What about….” I said getting all choked up

“Shhh…. We’ll be okay. Things like this only tend to make people stronger. We’ll get through this, I promise” he said kissing my forehead

We’ve only been a official couple for two and a half months after loving him for a year, but never trying to get out of “The Friend Zone”. Now the obstacle of long distance has been put before us and as much as I wanted to believe we would make it through this, I knew we were doomed to fail. That night as I laid in his arms after we made love, listening to his slow, even breathing, I couldn’t help it as tears rolled down my checks as I watched John’s sleeping face, shadowed by the dim light of the burning candle on the nightstand. Our last night together had been nothing but pure bliss, an unforgettable night, no doubt. I didn’t ant it to end. The clock on the nightstand read 3:49 a.m. In a few hours, John would have to leave for his flight with the other Raw Superstars and it hurt to know that I wouldn’t be going with him. Fresh tears blurred my vision as I reached out my hand and silently stroked John’s sleeping face. Something about this move to Smackdown was really killing me, but I ignored it, thinking it was my nerves. As I allowed my eyes to close, the gnawing sensation making itself known until I finally drifted off to sleep . When I woke up, John was gone. A note was on the pillow beside me along with a Tiffany & Co. box. I picked up the folded piece of paper that had my name on it. It said:
http://www.polyvore.com/letter_to_mia/set?id=36641911

I smiled, willing myself not to cry. I opened the Tiffany box. Inside was the most beautiful classic looking locket I’ve ever seen.

http://www.polyvore.com/mias_locket/set?id=39724472

I removed it from the box, admiring it in the light. I took John’s note and folded it several times till it was a small rectangle in my hand. Opening the locket, I stuck the little folded paper into it. It fit perfectly. I climbed out of bed and picked out my clothes for the day and laid them out on the bed before heading into the bathroom for a cold shower. The next plane for the Smackdown Superstars left in two hours and I needed most of that time to make myself look presentable and not like the emotional wreck I was. After, I got dressed in this:

http://www.polyvore.com/my_one_only_regret_day/set?id=35124975

And did my makeup. I completed my outfit with John’s locket. After spending an hour packing, I text Brie and asked her if I could ride with her and Nikki to the airport. She responded a few seconds later saying that they were leaving in ten minutes and to meet them downstairs. I rushed around the room, gathering my bags and hurried out of the room. The hall was empty and silent as I rolled my suitcases to the elevator, swing my duffel bag over one shoulder and my purse over the other after pulling out my blackberry. I dialed John’s number and got his voicemail

“Yo, you know who this is and what to do *beep*”

“Hey…Thank you for my gift, its beautiful, I love it. I miss you already.” I said trying to choke back tears “I just want to hear the sound of your voice, so call me when you get this. I love you John. Bye” I hung up and brushed a few tears away. As I tried to put my phone away, my purse fell off of my shoulder, causing everything to fall out, scattering onto the floor around my.

“Great” I muttered to myself, Frustrated, I kneeled to pick everything up. As I reached for my phone, another hand met mine. I looked up and met enchanting blue eyes and pulled my hand away. He looked familiar

“You look like you could use some help” he said, handing me my phone as we stood upright

“Thanks” I said putting it safely away in my purse then draped it over my shoulder. “It’s Drew right?” I remembered him being one of Vince’s favorites and very conceited

“I promise I’m not as big of an ass as I am on camera” he said with a smirk as if he could read my mind. “You got traded last night right?”

“Yeah, I did” I said grabbing my luggage “Nice to meet you. Thanks for the help” I said, continuing down the hall to the elevator and pressed the button. As I stepped inside, Drew stopped the doors from closing and they reopened

“I didn’t catch your name beautiful” he said with another smirk

Was he flirting with me? Surely he has seen me around with John

“That’s because I didn’t give it.” I said, removing his hands from the doors “Goodbye Drew” I said as they began to close but he blocked them again for a second time and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and smile “Yes?”

He stared at me with those alluring eyes that were roaming my figure before he responded:

“Welcome to Smackdown” he said releasing the doors, letting them close

If only I had known what I was getting myself into

*End Flashback*

I opened the locket and it was still there. The note John left on my pillow. I closed it back then fastened the necklace around my neck. It felt weird wearing it after all this time. Nikki offered to drive me to the clinic for moral support and sat in the waiting area while I got checked out. I sat in the small room nervously fidgeting. When the doctor came in, she asked me the basic questions. She took a urine sample and checked my blood pressure

“Well everything seems to be going fine. Your about nine weeks along. I’m going to write you a prescription for prenatal vitamins, you should start taking them immediately. Now I noticed your blood pressure and stress levels are a little on the high side so I suggest you take it easy for a while and get enough rest for the next few days. Do you have any questions?”

“No ma’am, I can’t think of any” I said

“Okay well if you need anything, just call. I guess we’re done here” she said, scribbling a few things on a sheet of paper and handing it to me

“Thank you. Have a nice day”

I left and went back out to the waiting room where Nikki was reading an old magazine

“So, how’d it go? How’s the baby?” she asked as we walked to the car

“Fine. Everything is fine. She said my blood pressure was high because of stress” I said as we got into the car and started down the road back to my house. Nikki turned up the heater and scowled

“Hmm. I wonder who’s fault that is.”

“Nik, don’t-”

“No no. I’m not gonna start because you already know what I’m going to say, but he’s not good for you, Mia. Have you noticed that you look thinner? Your pale all the time. You look sick.”

“Pregnancy plays hell with a person’s looks” I objected

“You were like this way before you got pregnant Mia, so what other excuses do you have?”

“We’re working on things, Nik. It’ll get better”

“Suuuurrreee, Mia”

We changed the subject and she chatted about work for the rest of the ride. When we pulled into the driveway, she hugged me

“I’m sorry if I went overboard. It’s just that I’m worried about you”

“Don’t be, I’m fine. I promise” I assured her

“We should do this more often”

“We will soon. Don’t go overboard with this baby shower okay?” I said getting out

“Not making any promises. Go get some rest, preggo!” she called through the window as I retreated up the driveway

I waved as I went inside. I pulled off my jacket and tossed my keys and purse on the living room table on my way to the kitchen, once again starving. I decided to make cookies. I pulled a cookie sheet out and got the cookies out of the fridge. After preheating the oven and arranging the cookies into four rows of three on the sheet, I stuck them into the oven and set the timer. Drew wouldn’t be hoe for another few hours so I had the house to myself and time to think. After getting dressed in a pair of sweats and one of Drew’s oversized shirts, I padded back downstairs just as the timer went off, the smell of cookies making my stomach growl. I took the cookies out and slid them onto a plate. Just as I was about to shove one in my mouth, I heard my phone chime in my purse in the living room. I retrieved it and saw that it was a text from John

Hey baby girl, where are you?

Hustle, Loyalty, Respect

Home, why?

Baby Girl

The doorbell rang

“What the hell?” I muttered to myself as I tiptoed to the front door and opened it

“John! Oh my god, what are you doing here?!?” I cried, jumping into his arms

He picked me up, hugging me around the waist

“I was on my way to the hotel and figured I’d stop by. Shame. I was hoping your darling husband was home.” He said with a chuckle, setting me back down on my feet and I smacked him in the chest playfully

“Come in! You must be freezing” I said pulling him inside. He followed me into the kitchen, removing his jacket, slinging it over the back of one of the chairs

“Cookie?” I asked, offering him the pate

“Don’t mind if I do” he said, easing onto on of the stools in front of the island, helping himself

“So how have you been John?”

“Fine. Nexus still giving me hell. I can’t wait till I’m done working with them, they’re a pain in my ass”

I nodded. John has been in a brutal feud with the Nexus since the summer. They’ve been attacking people at random and there was no telling what they would do next. John continued chatting and I listened. Then he stopped and stared intently at me

“So how are you Mia?”

“Can’t complain, I guess” I said, setting a glass of milk in front of him and sat down on the stool beside him

“Really? You sure about that?”, raising a suspicious eyebrow at the dark bruises on my forearm “Why do you put up with this bullshit, Mia?” he said, shaking his head

“Don’t John.” I begged, not wanting to ruin the moment “He’s trying to change-“

“Don’t you dare defend him to me.” He barked

“Why do you always write him off as some kind of monster? He’s trying to change!”

“Because he is! Why is it okay for you to defend him? Are you saying it’s okay? Are you say its okay to just let it go and pretend it didn’t happen after he slaps you around and apologizes?!?” he screamed in my face “Why are you being so stupid?!?!”

I lowered my head to hide the tears that were threatening to escape but failed miserably and broke down. Damn pregnancy hormones.

“John stop. Please. I don’t want to fight with you. I can’t handle this right now. Please” I begged, wiping my face but the tears wouldn’t stop flowing

John’s P.O.V

My anger subsided when I saw that she was crying. This wasn’t what I came here for. I didn’t come here to upset her. That was the last thing I wanted to do

“Mia… I’m sorry. You know I only say those things because I care about you” I said, folding her into my arms, noticing she felt thinner than the last time I got the chance to hold her. What was he doing to her? This wasn’t the Mia I Love. He was brainwashing her to believe that he loved her

“I want to believe him, John. I really do, but he’s not going to change and I can’t take it anymore” she sobbed.

I cupped her face in between my hands, wiping her tears with my thumbs and noticed the dark circles under her eyes that dominated her pale face. How could I have not noticed these changes in her? He was sucking the life out of her mentally and physically

“Mia, you can’t stay with him. You have to leave”

“John, we’ve been over this. I can’t leave him. Especially not now.” She whispered. I could tell by the look in her eyes that something was tormenting her but I pressed on

“You can. Just do it. You can go upstairs, pack your things and leave with me” I pleaded. I couldn’t let her stay in this house because I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to her

“I can’t” she repeated, pulling away from me but I pulled her back and kissed her and surprisingly, she let me

“Leave him” I said between kisses

“I can’t!” she protested

“Why?!?” I yelled. Why was she being so stubborn?

“Because!”

“BECAUSE WHAT?!?!”

“Because I’m pregnant John!” she yelled, her eyes filling with tears again

Mia’s P.O.V

I saw the hurt burning in his blue eyes then when that melted away, anger. Tension clouded the space between us as he released my face, slumping back down onto the stool. Seconds ticked by and turned into minutes, which seemed like hours. His silence was killing me. I was the first one to speak, cracking the ice

“John, say something.” I begged helplessly, searching his face for a hint of anything he was feeling. “Anything. Please.”

He was silent as he rested his head in his hands. I could only imagine what was going on in his head right now. Would he still what me, now that he knew I was pregnant? Would he love me, baggage and all? Why would he? He probably hates me as much as I hate myself for letting this happen. This was my punishment. God was punishing me for defying my husband and for the infidelity I committed with the man in front of me. I was going to be tied to Drew one way or another for the rest of my life and I deserved it

The sound of my phone ringing snapped me back into reality. John’s head shot up as I grabbed it off of the counter and looked at the Caller ID and he got a full view of who it was. Drew. I broke my gaze from his burning eyes as I answered

“Hello?”

“What took you so long to answered the phone?” he barked, not even bothering with a hello back

“My phone was all the way upstairs and I was downstairs” I lied, my eyes fixed on John who shook his head

“Oh. Well, I was just calling to tell you that I just left the gym and that I’ll be home soon”

“Okay, I’ll see you when you get home” I said simply. The faster I got off the phone, the faster John would stop burning holes into my face “Bye” I said, removing the phone from my ear

“Mia” I heard him call into the receiver and I winced

“Yeah?”

“I love you” he responded

John’s eyes seemed to turn three shades darker but for some reason, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his intense glare as I repeated those fatal words

“I love you too” I whispered back

Drew’s P.O.V

I hung up the phone, sliding it into my pocket as I slipped into my shirt

“Are you sure you have to leave?” the blond asked, wrapping a sheet around her naked body

“I have to Taryn” I said, annoyed. She’s been begging me to stay the night with her since I started getting dressed. The affair has been going on for almost a month, since Mia wouldn’t let me touch her

“But why?” she said, a pout forming on her lips “She doesn’t love you. I heard she’s sleeping with John”

“Who’d you hear that from? Kelly?” I scoffed, disgusted, pulling on my shoes “She’s my wife”

“You haven’t been thinking about her since you’ve been with me. Leave her Drew. You clearly don’t love her as much as you think. I could give you everything” she said, crawling over to me, placing her hands on my chest “I could satisfy your every need” she whispered, pecking my lips. I had to stop her before she tried to seduce me back into bed with her. I pushed her hands away. A hurt look crossed her face and I pulled her to me and placed a tender kiss on her forehead then left without a word

Mia’s P.O.V

“Drew is on his way home” I said cautiously

John got up without a word and I followed him to the foyer. After putting on his jacket, he turned to face me

“What are you thinking?” I asked

He pulled me into his arms before he spoke

“I’m trying to figure out what happened to us” he said, toying with the locket around my neck “You still have this” he stated, a smile forming on his lips

“I wouldn’t get rid of it for the world”

As quickly as it came, the smile was gone

“How did we let things get like this?”

“People change, John. We grew apart”

“And I was stupid for letting it happen. If I wasn’t being such an jackass and let my job come between us, none of this would be happening to you”

“You can’t blame yourself. It’s just as much my fault as it was yours. It takes two to be in a relationship”

We were quiet as he held me closer and I felt myself relax for the first time in months, but I knew this moment couldn’t last forever

“Whenever your ready to leave him, whenever your ready to be with me, you know where to find me” he said, touching his forehead to mine “Just be sure it’s what you want

Then he was gone. And there was no telling when I would see him again, but I got the unasked answer I was looking for. He still loved me. Baggage and all.

***

After John left, I took a warm bath and then crawled into bed, exhausted. When I woke up in the middle of the night, it was one a.m. and the bed shifted beside me

“Drew?” I whispered groggily into the darkness. Arms wrapped around me

“Shhh. Sleep sweetheart, it’s late” he whispered back

“I was worried, you said you’d be home hours ago”

“ I stopped by a bar with Jack. I’m sorry I worried you”

I lifted my face and touched my lips to his before sleep took me back under

***
I rolled over, expecting to touch flesh but the space beside me was empty. I got out of bed and stretched, the sound of whispers coming from the bathroom. I tip toed to the bathroom door and listened. I could hear the faint sound of someone's voice on a phone and then Drew’s low whisper

“No I can’t come see you tonight. It’s already bad enough I stayed later than I should have last night”

There was a pause

“Stop talking crazy, Taryn, I can’t leave her, she’s my wife for fuck’s sake!”

My heart caught in my throat. Taryn? Why the hell was he talking to her? Then it struck me. He was having an affair. She wanted him to leave me. To be with her. How could I have been so blind

“Look I can’t deal with this right now. I’ll call you later.”

When he hung up, I heard him sigh heavily then the sound of the shower turn on. I backed away from the door, tears filling my eyes as I hurried down the stairs. When I got to the kitchen, I exhaled, not even realizing that I had been holding my breath, fresh tears streaming down my face. Was he going to give in and leave me for her? She couldn’t think he was going to actually do it. I wiped my face as I turned to the sink and ran some water to start the dishes to keep me busy. I scrubbed furiously at the cookie sheet until my hands ached and it was spotless. I tried to keep my thoughts empty as I cleaned John’s glass from last night, but I couldn’t help but to think about the way he pulled me into his arms and begged me to leave with him before kissing me with a burning fire that made my head spin. I wanted so badly to give in to him. And I almost had. What was stopping me from doing it? I shook the thought away as I let the water out, watching it spiral down the drain. I dried and put away the dishes, feeling a little light headed and leaned against the counter for support. A hand touched my shoulder, making me jump

“Damn it, Drew! You scared the hell out of me!” I said, annoyed for no reason

“It’s not my fault your half damn deaf” he shot back, picking up on my attitude

Another wave of nausea came over me, causing my forehead to get clammy but I tried not to let it show on my face, failing horribly

“Are you okay? You look pale.”

That struck a nerve. What did it matter to him if I was okay? Like he wasn’t having an affair. Even though I was just as wrong when I did it, it pissed me off

“Oh, so now your concerned about me?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he barked at me, his temper rising, his blue eyes intimidating

I could tell he was going to get pissed if I answered negatively, so for argument’s sake, I left it alone

“Nothing” I answered neutrally, a hint of aggression still lingering. I could tell he knew I wanted to say more, but his face mellowed. Turning on my heel I stormed out of the room and pounded up the stairs. With a heavy heart, I locked our bedroom door, sat on the bed and stared at my phone on the nightstand. I was going to regret doing this, but it didn’t stop me as I picked up my phone, dialing the number, not bothering to whisper when I got an answer

“Hello?”

“We need to talk, can I come see you?” I said in a level voice, not caring if Drew could hear me or not. At this point, I didn’t give a damn anymore. I was done worrying about his feelings. He hasn’t been thinking about the consequences that will come behind him sleeping with that slut for god only knows how long and I won’t think about mine for what I’m about to do

I pulled into the hotel parking lot and cut the engine, resting my forehead on the steering wheel, trying to control the anxiousness in my stomach. Thunder boomed in the distance of the darkened sky. Pulling myself together, I exited the car and went inside. I didn’t let myself think on the way up to the ninth floor and my heart raced as I walked down the hall until I found the door marked 431. One million and one doubts filled my head about what could go wrong, but before I talk myself out of doing this and go home, I had already knocked on the door. Too late to turn back now. The door opened and there he was

“Hey” he said

“Hey” I managed to choke back, too distracted by the fact that he was shirtless, sending me close to the edge

He moved aside to let me in, our eyes locked the whole time. His body glistened and his hair was damp. He must have just gotten out of the shower. We sat down on the couch

“What did you want to talk about?” he asked, trying to read my poker face

I was silent as I rotated my wedding ring around and around on my finger, organizing my thoughts, not realizing that tears were pooling in my eyes until John turned my face up to meet his steady gaze, his touch burning my skin. I couldn’t help myself as my hands met his bare chest, slowly roaming down his toned frame as I closed the space between us, pressing my lips to his once, twice, three times, the third time with more craving. John pulled me to him until I was strattling him. When he started kissing my neck, nibbling slightly, a pleasure filled moan escaped me

“John” I moaned, tilting my head back further to expose more skin “I need you.” I wined “ I want you. Now” I begged, knowing hat it drove him crazy from our earlier days together. In one swift motion, he picked me up, legs wrapped around his waist and carried me towards his bedroom as our tongues collided, battling for dominance. He laid me down on his king size bed and undressed me. Thunder crackled outside the window as he made love to me just as it started to pour

***