Somebody to Love Me

*Two Weeks Later*

Mia’s P.O.V.

I was released from the hospital today. Vince gave John a few weeks off and he was driving us back home. I slept most of the drive in the back seat, curled up under a blanket. I pulled the blanket over my head to avoid John’s worried gaze in the visor mirror. While I was in the hospital, a lot of people from work came to visit me. Nikki and Brie came everyday. So did Randy. Vince sent me flowers and “Get Well Soon” balloons along with a card signed by his whole family and himself. Most of the time when people stopped by, I’d be asleep, so all questions about my health went to John, who never leaves. Randy stopped by to see and they talked as I pretended to sleep on my last night there.

“How is she doing.” Asked Randy

“The doctors said they’ll discharge her tomorrow.” Said John, stroking my hand

“Has she said anything yet?”

“I don’t want to upset her. She hasn’t said a word to anyone, including me. I still hear her crying at night when she thinks I’m asleep.”

“You don’t think they should keep her longer? Just to make sure she’s…okay? Mentally, I mean.”

“They asked me if it would be okay to prescribe Anti-Depressants just in case. I told them it was fine.”

They were silent for a while

“She’s going to be alright, man.”

“I don’t know, Randy. I don’t know if she’ll come out of this. I’ve never seen her so broken. She’ll never be the same after this.”

“It’ll be okay John. Maybe all she needs is to be home. I have to go. Take care of her man. See you in a few weeks.” Randy said. The room door opened and shut softly and it was quiet. I heard John get up and turn off the lights and then settle back into the recliner in the corner. When I was sure he was sleeping, I let my tears flow, drowning in my sorrow

***

I sat up in the back seat just as we pulled in John’s driveway. He came around and opened the door for me, helping me out, wrapping a protective arm around me as we went inside. He carried me up the stairs and helped me into bed. I pulled the covers around myself and curled into a ball, staring at the wall

“Do you want me to get you anything?” he asked, sitting next to me on the bed

I shook my head silently. I could tell my silence was getting the best of him

“I have to go take care of a few things. Will you be okay until I get back?”

I reached out to caress his face. Leaning up, I kissed him tenderly on the lips, touching my forehead to his.

“You go ahead. I’ll be fine.” I said, laying back on my pillow

He smiled, happy to hear me say something after a whole two weeks. He lifted my chin up to touch his lips to mine one more time before grabbing his keys

“I won’t be long, I promise.” He said, heading out the door. He stopped and turned back to me

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” I said with a faint smile

He smiled back, shutting the door softly behind himself. I waited until I heard the front door open then close before I got up and went into the bathroom. Ignoring my reflection in the mirror, I ran myself a nice hot bath and soaked for a while before washing up and getting out. After getting dressed in one of John’s oversized shirts and a pair of sweats, I wondered down the hall and stopped in front of a shut door. Turning the door knob, I stepped into what would have been my baby’s room. I closed the door behind me, stepping onto the plush carpet. I walked over to the crib, running my hands across the wooden rail. We had picked out unisex colors for the room: Green, blue and yellow. We were too excited to wait to find out the sex to get started on the nursery. I reached into the crib and pulled out a soft little stuffed dog, silent tears running down my cheeks as I pulled the little dog to my chest, sobs wracking my chest as I sunk down onto the floor below.

***

John’s P.O.V

I turned the key in the front door, stepping into the foyer of my house. After picking up attending my meeting with the WWE Board then picking up Mia’s medication of Anti-Depressants, I rushed back home, eager to get back to her. To tell the truth, I was nervous about leaving her home alone, not wanting to leave her side for too long if I didn’t have to. After dropping my keys on the counter, I rushed up the stairs to my bedroom.

“Mia?” I called, poking my head in the door, panicking when I realized her usual place on the bed was empty. My mind started thinking overtime to the worst possible things, like finding her hurt somewhere in the house, or worst, dead. She’s been so sad lately, so upset. When the doctors suggested putting her on medication, I jumped on it. The sooner she started taking it, the better. I could stop spending every moment of every day and night watching her, thinking she might hurt herself like I was doing right now. I raced down the stairs and checked every room, getting more and more anxious when they came up empty. I bounded back up the stairs.

“Mia, where are you?” I whispered as I passed the door to the nursery, stopping when the sound of sobs filled my ears. Pushing open the door, it creaked loudly as it stung open, revealing her to me. My heart ached at the image before me. She laid there, curled up in a ball, whimpering. I walked over to her, my pulse slowing with relief. Pulling her into my arms, I hugged her to me, stroking her hair softly as she cried against my chest helplessly, clutching tightly on a little stuffed dog. We sat there for a long time, not speaking. I stroked her back softly until the tears finally stopped and I picked her up and carried her to bed bridal style. She looked like a frail child in my arms, her face shallow, dark circles looming under her eyes. In the two weeks she was in the hospital, she had lost the ten pounds of baby weight she gained, maybe even more. It scared me that she felt so light in my arms right now. I cradled her in one arm and pulled back the covers with another before setting her gently into bed, pulling the covers securely around her. She curled up, closing her eyes, holding the little dog close to her. I laid in bed next to her, rubbing her arm. She slid her hand into mine, lacing our fingers and when her breathing finally slowed and she was asleep, I sat up, dropping my head in my hands. Things were getting harder and were probably going to get a lot worse, but I had to be strong. Not only for me but for her too. She needed me now more than ever and I’m determined to be there no matter what.

*One Week Later*

Mia’s P.O.V

John has been watching me like a hawk since my melt down, I stay in bed all day, shutting myself off from the world, grieving. John constantly checks on me through the day and because I haven’t been eating like
I’m supposed to, he’s made it a habit of making me breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day, propping himself in the chair in the corner, not moving an inch until my plate was clean.

“You don’t have to watch me. I’m not five, I can feed myself.” I told him stubbornly

“Then let’s see it.”

I rolled my eyes, picking up my fork and made a big show of shoving a fork full of mashed potatoes into my mouth. He smiled, a pleased look spreading across his face.

“You want to come over here and chew it for me too?” I asked, annoyed

“Don’t tempt me, Mia. So are you gonna eat or are we gonna sit here all night?”

I picked up my fork again and began to shoveling my food in as he watched. When I was done, he came over and took the plate from my lap and kissed my forehead

“Good girl”

I rolled my eyes again and sighed, watching him leave the room. He returned with a glass of water in one hand, a pill bottle in the other. This is another habit he’s picked up. Every night after I finish eating, he comes back with that damn pill bottle, trying to persuade me to take them.

“Now, for the hard part.” He said, outstretching the glass and the bottle to me

“No.” I said sharply

“Mia-“ he urged, annoyed

“I’m not taking them John.” Making me eat was one thing, but trying to make me take medication I didn’t need was pushing it too damn far.

“Mia, you need to take the medicine” he insisted

“I don’t need medication.” I objected, crossing my arms over my chest. I could tell my stubborn attitude was really irritating him

“Yes you do.”

“No I don’t” I shot back

“Yes you do”

“I’m not taking them. You can’t make me.” I said, sounding like a spoiled teenager. “I’m not taking them because I sure as hell didn’t ask for them and you shouldn’t have either.” I barked. He sighed. I knew I was being a bitch to him and giving him a hard time. I admire his patience with me.

“For the last time, I didn’t ask them to give it to you. They suggested it and I simply agreed”

“It wasn’t your decision to make, it was mine.”

“You were in no condition to make any decisions for yourself at the time and your proving to me that you need the meds more than I thought by the way your acting.” He growled. He held the bottle out to me and I stared at it blankly before staring him down and he did the same. We stared each other down for a full forty-five seconds before he gave in with defeated, frustrated sigh.

“Fine Mia. Don’t take the damn medicine. I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. When you finally realize you need it,” he said, reaching over to open the nightstand drawer beside the bed “they’ll be right when you’re ready.” He dropped the bottle in and shut the drawer before storming into the bathroom. I sighed, switching off the bedside lamp, laying back on my pillow, staring into the darkness. My eyes drooped with exhaustion. The sound of the shower being turned on came from the closed bathroom door. Was he right? Do I really need the medicine? I felt just fine. Sure, sometime during the night, I wake up crying because of the horrible dreams I’ve been having since being discharged from the hospital, gruesome scenes of having to give birth to a dead baby and how I cries as they wrapped my baby boy up and took him away from me. John had been right. It was the baby boy he had hoped for. I brushed away the tears that escaped my eyes. My phone vibrated under my pillow, signaling that I had a text. It was from Drew, who texts me every once in a while to check in.

Hey

The Chosen One

Hey

Baby Girl

How have you been?

The Chosen One

I’m okay.

Baby Girl

That’s good. Is he taking care of you?

The Chosen One

I knew that “he” was referring to John

Yes my warden is keeping a watchful eye on me

Baby Girl

Wouldn’t have been that way if you would have came home with me the way I wanted you to. I can take care of you just as well as he can.

The Chosen One

You and I both know that wasn’t going to happen

Baby Girl

Why not?

The Chosen One

Was he seriously playing stupid?

Because we’re in the middle of a DIVORCE Andrew. That’s why. And I’m with John now.

Baby Girl

I knew that throwing the fact that I’m with John in his face was a low blow, but I needed him to understand that there was no chance that I was going back to him. I was where I needed and wanted to be, whether he like it or not

Is it the fact that we’re going threw a divorce or that you’re afraid we might sleep together again and you’ll see that you still love me?

The Chosen One

My heart skipped a beat. Is that what he thought? That I was still in love with him? Little did he know he had it totally misconstrued. As I was typing a response, another text came through

I’m going to take a wild guess and say you haven’t told him about that yet. Am I right?

The Chosen One

No, I haven’t told him and you better not either. I’ll tell him when it’s the right time with no help from you

Baby Girl

Don’t get worked up, sweetheart. As tempting as it might be, I’m not going to tell him anything. I’ll let you do the honors. Lets see if he’s as forgiving as I was about your never ending cheating

The Chosen One

He never ceases to remind me of what a jackass he can be when he wants to.

Make this your last time contacting me. Don’t call me, don’t text me. I’m not pregnant anymore so there’s no reason for us to have to deal with each other. I’m done with you, Andrew. Have a nice life.

Baby Girl

Drew’s P.O.V

I hurled my phone against the farthest wall of the hotel room, infuriated. I knew I had that coming, so why was I so pissed. Taryn came out of the bathroom and crawled over to me a cross the bed

“What’s the matter?” she asked, massaging my shoulder, kissing my neck. I brushed her away, not in the mood. I honestly don’t know why I’m still dealing with her. Probably for the sex but even that was getting tiring. Her “Sex can fix anything” attitude was really starting to annoy me. I pulled the covers over me and turned my back to her, closing my eyes. She sighed, pissed that I was still ignoring her and turned out the lights, childishly putting a pillow in between us. Fucking fine by me.

***

Mia’s P.O.V

Tonight, instead of John making me dinner and watching me eat, I was cooking instead, his favorite, pot roast. As I was chopping up the vegetables, my mind wondered into the clouds and I didn’t realize at some point in La La land that I sliced my finger. Blood gushed from the wound, streaming down my wrist like a river. You’d think it hurt, but I was calm. Outside the sting, I felt numb, watching the blood continue to run. I looked at the sharp knife in my hand, a thin layer of blood covering the stainless steel blade, making my mind flash to the blood dripping onto the floor under me that night in the bathroom. When I shook the thought out of my head and my eyes came back into focus on the knife, I could see my reflection along with someone else’s behind me. I whirled around and met John’s eye. I froze, only imagining what was going through his head right now about how this looked. I could see myself through his eyes, blood all over one hand, knife in the other. This did not look good at all. He walked over and took the knife from my hand. After he ran my bloody hand under cold water, he inspected the damage. Turns out, I had somehow managed to slice open the side of my palm and not my finger. I winced as he poured alcohol over it and put a band-aid on.

“Did you mean to do this?” he asked, stroking my hand

“Oh course not!” I objected “It was an accident”

“It didn’t look like an accident to me.”

“Well despite what you think, it was.” I said, snatching my hand out of his.

“I think you should try to talk to someone.”

“What, like a shrink? You can’t be serious John.” I argues. He had to be out of his mind. “It was an accident, John. I didn’t do it on purpose. Thanks a lot for labeling my a psycho. Way to show that you love me.”

“Well you’re not giving me much of a choice, Mia! You won’t take the damn medicine, so what else should I say? If I didn’t walk in when I did, what would I have come home to? You need help and I’m saying this because I love you.”

“Screw you, John. I’m not fucking crazy and I’m not depressed and I’m damn sure not seeing a shrink.” I spat venomously, folding my arms across my chest.

“You know what, I’m not going to sit here and watch you hurt yourself! I’m only doing this because I’m trying to fucking help you, but you’re not even trying to help yourself! So we’re going to do this my way from now on and the way I see it is you have two choices: Either you’re going to take the meds or I’m going to call you’re doctor and tell them to find you a shrink.” He said, laying out his ultimatum

I opened my mouth to respond but he cut me off

“And if you even think about giving me that ‘I’m not going’ bullshit, I’ll drag you there my damn self, kicking and screaming one way or another. Try me.” He challenged

I shut my mouth and glared at him silently before turning on my heel and storing off up the stairs

Later that night, when I showered and got dressed for bed, I went downstairs and poured myself a glass of water. Once back upstairs, I crawled into bed next to John, setting the glass on the nightstand. John turned off the TV and laid back on his pillow, waiting for me to turn out the lights, but instead, I pulled open the drawer. His eyes snapped on me, watching as I retrieved the pill bottle out. I took two little blue pills out and threw the bottle back into the drawer, shutting it. Tossing my head back, I swallowed the pills, chasing them down with water, turning my gaze on John, who had a relieved smile on his face. I turned off the lights and he pulled me down into his arms, wrapping his arms around me, not saying a word because my actions had said it all.