Into the Pensieve
Memoriae.
It was unusual that Professor Severus Snape would ever get the feeling of his throat being choked up while being accompanied by the warm wetness lining his eyes. He was a strong, dull man who acquired almost no emotion. However, every time he felt this way, he would march down the long, stone corridor towards the room he most grew familiar with. His long, black cloak would flutter behind him as his large, polished boots clacked against the cold stone of the floor. When he reached his intended destination, he step into an opening in the wall and stood tall beside a metal statue of a phoenix spreading its wings forward.
The platform Severus stood upon then began to smoothly spiral into a staircase – bringing Severus along with it. Finally, it glided to a halt, which caused him to step off of it and hesitate as he waited for Dumbledore to appear.
“Who’s here?” he heard the aged voice of his superior.
“Privacy please,” Severus demanded while struggling to keep his voice steady.
Dumbledore sauntered over to the railing of the second level of his office and glanced through his glasses at his visitor.
“Ahh, yes,” he greeted Severus with a nod and departed to another room in his massive office.
Instinctively, Severus strode over to two doors that resembled the closet of some sort. His thick, rigid fingers grasped at both nobs and in unison, pulled open each door. He released the nobs, then ravenously grabbed the saucer that floated in the cabinet, and tossed it in mid-air to the center of the room – the Pensieve. He stiffly walked over to it and allowed the world to come crashing down on him. A single tear drop rode down his stone-like cheek and dripped into the Pensieve. The tear swirled in the blue liquid that was already present in the bowl and immediately changed a shade of black. He waited a moment before dipping his face into the mixture.
Instantly, he was cast into a new world, a past world. Severus gazed at his young self’s features as he tried to decipher what he may have been thinking at that exact moment. It may have been a memory of his, but not all memories are familiar or fresh.
“Hello, Lily,” he heard his younger self say.
He turned his attention to a younger Lily as well, as she sauntered over towards him with a slight grin on her face. Severus closed his eyes and breathed in as he remembered the effect that just her simple smile had thrown on him – a thousand butterflies burst loose throughout him. He watched as his cheeks turned slightly pink with his growing smile.
“Your hair looks different,” he said as she stopped in front of him.
He mentally slapped himself as he remembered what his younger self actually meant to say… well, wanted to say, but simply couldn’t. You’re beautiful.
Lily twirled her hair in her fingers as she examined it. She then shot him a curious glance.
“That’s hardly possible,” she scoffed. “I haven’t had my hair cut in ages.”
“Well, maybe it’s the light,” he brushed off.
“Maybe you shouldn’t wear so much black, it’s making you a little offbeat,” she joked.
However, he knew that his younger self didn’t take this lightly as he didn’t chime in with her laughing like usual. He watched as his jaw constricted while his muscles fought against the urge to defend himself.
“Gosh, don’t be so stiff,” Lily pushed playfully at his shoulder.
No, he could never be mad at her. Severus’ jawline loosened up, which allowed him to speak once more.
“Yeah, must be the black,” he muttered.
Lily’s mouth opened to speak, but before he could hear her soft voice, Severus found himself whirling around the scene until finding himself placed in Dumbledore’s office again. The moment he had just experienced was still clear as water in his mind and not for the fact that it had again just played right before his eyes. This certain memory recurred in the depths of Severus’ dark mind frequently, in fact. It had been special for many reasons as it was one of the various times he got the privilege to breathe in her beauty face-to-face, but also, it was the unfortunate start of their friendship’s decay. Lily had sensed his subtle morphing, which started with his clothing choices. This was something that he had greatly feared considering he was well aware of Lily’s negative views on Death Eaters. Severus simply loved Lily and could hardly risk their relationship… this fact torn him to shreds.
“Is there something on your mind, Severus?” Dumbledore’s voice spoke.
Severus switched his attention to the upper level of the office and caught sight of the old professor.
“No,” he replied coldly.
“If you must insist,” Dumbledore responded as he shrugged.
Dumbledore began to walk away slowly, however his steps seemed hesitant as if he knew Severus would say something. His calculations were correct.
“Albus,” Snape choked.
Dumbledore turned and contemplated the other wizard through his half-moon glasses. He could clearly make out the anguish in Severus’ eyes as it transformed itself into tears. Secretly, his heart fell at the sight, but he knew this occurred frequently and by sunrise, the dark wizard would once again be back to his callous, bitter self.
“You must tell no one.”
The platform Severus stood upon then began to smoothly spiral into a staircase – bringing Severus along with it. Finally, it glided to a halt, which caused him to step off of it and hesitate as he waited for Dumbledore to appear.
“Who’s here?” he heard the aged voice of his superior.
“Privacy please,” Severus demanded while struggling to keep his voice steady.
Dumbledore sauntered over to the railing of the second level of his office and glanced through his glasses at his visitor.
“Ahh, yes,” he greeted Severus with a nod and departed to another room in his massive office.
Instinctively, Severus strode over to two doors that resembled the closet of some sort. His thick, rigid fingers grasped at both nobs and in unison, pulled open each door. He released the nobs, then ravenously grabbed the saucer that floated in the cabinet, and tossed it in mid-air to the center of the room – the Pensieve. He stiffly walked over to it and allowed the world to come crashing down on him. A single tear drop rode down his stone-like cheek and dripped into the Pensieve. The tear swirled in the blue liquid that was already present in the bowl and immediately changed a shade of black. He waited a moment before dipping his face into the mixture.
Instantly, he was cast into a new world, a past world. Severus gazed at his young self’s features as he tried to decipher what he may have been thinking at that exact moment. It may have been a memory of his, but not all memories are familiar or fresh.
“Hello, Lily,” he heard his younger self say.
He turned his attention to a younger Lily as well, as she sauntered over towards him with a slight grin on her face. Severus closed his eyes and breathed in as he remembered the effect that just her simple smile had thrown on him – a thousand butterflies burst loose throughout him. He watched as his cheeks turned slightly pink with his growing smile.
“Your hair looks different,” he said as she stopped in front of him.
He mentally slapped himself as he remembered what his younger self actually meant to say… well, wanted to say, but simply couldn’t. You’re beautiful.
Lily twirled her hair in her fingers as she examined it. She then shot him a curious glance.
“That’s hardly possible,” she scoffed. “I haven’t had my hair cut in ages.”
“Well, maybe it’s the light,” he brushed off.
“Maybe you shouldn’t wear so much black, it’s making you a little offbeat,” she joked.
However, he knew that his younger self didn’t take this lightly as he didn’t chime in with her laughing like usual. He watched as his jaw constricted while his muscles fought against the urge to defend himself.
“Gosh, don’t be so stiff,” Lily pushed playfully at his shoulder.
No, he could never be mad at her. Severus’ jawline loosened up, which allowed him to speak once more.
“Yeah, must be the black,” he muttered.
Lily’s mouth opened to speak, but before he could hear her soft voice, Severus found himself whirling around the scene until finding himself placed in Dumbledore’s office again. The moment he had just experienced was still clear as water in his mind and not for the fact that it had again just played right before his eyes. This certain memory recurred in the depths of Severus’ dark mind frequently, in fact. It had been special for many reasons as it was one of the various times he got the privilege to breathe in her beauty face-to-face, but also, it was the unfortunate start of their friendship’s decay. Lily had sensed his subtle morphing, which started with his clothing choices. This was something that he had greatly feared considering he was well aware of Lily’s negative views on Death Eaters. Severus simply loved Lily and could hardly risk their relationship… this fact torn him to shreds.
“Is there something on your mind, Severus?” Dumbledore’s voice spoke.
Severus switched his attention to the upper level of the office and caught sight of the old professor.
“No,” he replied coldly.
“If you must insist,” Dumbledore responded as he shrugged.
Dumbledore began to walk away slowly, however his steps seemed hesitant as if he knew Severus would say something. His calculations were correct.
“Albus,” Snape choked.
Dumbledore turned and contemplated the other wizard through his half-moon glasses. He could clearly make out the anguish in Severus’ eyes as it transformed itself into tears. Secretly, his heart fell at the sight, but he knew this occurred frequently and by sunrise, the dark wizard would once again be back to his callous, bitter self.
“You must tell no one.”