Never Say Never

"Hey." I said quietly

"Whats wrong?"

"I have something to tell you"

"Whats up?"

Then I decided this definitely wasn't the time to drop a major bomb like that. He's at work and he'll be there for some time.

"Ya know what, nevermind. It can wait."

"No. You have something to tell me, just tell me."

Here it goes I squeeze my eyes shut tight and begin to talk. "Randy, I'm pregnant."

"You're what?" Randy asked, then started talking again before I could even respond, "Ya know what, we'll talk about this when I get home. I gotta go."

I didn't even get an 'i love you', Randy's voice sounded nervous, I didn't know what was going to happen. I sat around the house for hours waiting for Randy to come home, Bailey sat with me and tried cheering me up. Then she went to bed a little before I expected Randy to be home, to give us some privacy.

Randy arrived home a little after midnight. He looked pale white when he walked into the house. Instead of being happy about this, I was scared out of my mind.

"Joanna. We, you, I-" He didn't know where to begin. "You're really pregnant?"

"Yes." I said, "I wouldn't of called you at work just to play some kind of joke on you."

Randy started shaking his head repetitively, "You can't be pregnant."

For a small moment there, I actually felt okay with this. "But I am. I'm pregnant, and I'm really scared but I know-"

"NO!" He screamed, "You can't be pregnant! This is going to ruin everything!"

I felt my stomach curl, I had my answer to what I was wondering earlier, about how Randy felt about having a kid. He wasn't happy about this, not at all. He was screaming at me. "Randy-"

"This isn't happening, it won't." He said like he had put his foot down and only his opinion mattered

"Well, what do you suppose I do?" I felt myself holding back tears

"Get rid of it, I don't know, anything! It will ruin everything. I don't know what we're gonna do, but you are not having that baby!"

Then I snapped. I was so upset and hurt, all he was thinking about was himself. "You mean I'M not having YOUR baby! How could you be so fucking selfish and only think about yourself?! I'm not getting an abortion, I can't do that!"

"You can't have it either!" His voice sounded cold, "You don't understand-"

"No, you don't understand! Do you hear yourself right now? Its like this is my fault and you expect me to fix my mistake..." I couldn't have an abortion, I didn't believe in it. This happened because we weren't careful, its not the baby's fault. I couldn't put the baby up for adoption, that would devastate me. I decided right there what I was doing. "You know what, fuck you. I don't need you. I'm having this baby, OUR baby, with or without you."

"Joanna, you can't keep-" He said through his teeth but I cut him off

"I'm done."

"Joanna!" Randy yelled after me as I went upstairs to wake Bailey up.

"Get up." I said as I walked in, she wasn't asleep. I assumed she couldn't sleep due to our fighting, "Get your shit and meet me in the car, I'm leaving." I told her before walking out of the room. I walked into Randy's room to grab anything I need at the moment, basically the contents of my purse and anything extra. The bedroom door opened and in walked Randy.

"You can't leave." He said, he was still angry.

"Too bad, I'm leaving." I told him as I headed towards the door, but Randy grabbed me, holding me in place. "Randy, let go of me!"

"NO!"

"I mean it, get off me!"

"NO! YOU'RE NOT LEAVING!"

"YES I AM! GET THE FUCK OFF!" I broke from his grip and went downstairs and out of the door. "Have a nice life!" I yelled before getting in the car

"Joanna! DON'T" I heard Randy yell before I got into the car. I ignored him and just left. I started driving and I finally started to break down and cry. Sobbing at the steering wheel, I had to pull over cause I couldn't see.

"Aw, Joanna, its gonna-" Bailey tried cheering me up, but the last thing I wanted to hear was, 'its gonna be alright.'

"Bailey, please. I love you, but please stop talking."

She nodded and agreed. When I didn't wanna talk, she knew when to shut up, and vice versa. After I finally collected my thoughts, I had to call my father. It was 1:30, but he'd understand. In fact, he'd be thrilled.

"Hello?" I heard my dad's groggy voice on the other end, "Joanna...its like, 2AM."

"One-Thirty," I mumbled, "Listen, I need to come home, right now."

"Can't it wait until the morning?"

"No, it can't" I said urgently

"What did Orton do?" He knew me so well

That's when the tears came back, and my dad would know I was crying. "Dad, just please, call grandpa and tell him to send the jet. I need to come home now."

"Alright, I'll call you back when I'm done talking to Vince."

I hung up the phone before dad could say anything else about Randy, I didn't even wanna hear his name. It wasn't long before the calls started coming from him, but I ignored each and every one of them.

I didn't get home until 6AM and I was exhausted. Me and Bailey walked into the house, both mom and dad were awake.

"What happened?" Dad asked

"I don't wanna talk about it." I say

"I knew it, I fucking knew it-"

"Paul!" Mom yelled, "Stop."

I mouthed a 'thanks' to her then turned my phone back on. I had missed calls, text messages, and voice mails from Randy. I deleted them all without checking them. I didn't care what he had to say. "I'm going to bed." I said as I went upstairs. "Don't bother me."

Bailey went into the guest room and I went into my room. I turned my cell off again and just fell into my bed.